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Happiness @ MindSay


The Impression That I Get
Is that it is AMAZING how much music motivates me to do things!

Not counting my iPod while I beasted through my workout this morning, here is what I've been regaled with today, either on the radio, or on Pandora (Less Than Jake channel; hardly ever go anywhere else :) ).

Radio (in no order):
-- Blondie - One Way or Another
-- Aretha Franklin - Son of a Preacherman
-- Wilco - Box Full of Letters
-- Flaming Lips - Do You Realize?
-- Foo Fighters - Big Me
-- Little Feat - Dixie Chicken
-- Tori Amos - Silent All These Years
-- David Bowie - Suffragette City
-- Grace Potter and the Nocturnals - Stars
-- Bob Marley - Wait in Vain
-- Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire
-- Regina Spektor - Don't Leave Me (Ne Me Quitte Pas)
-- Indigo Girls - Galileo
-- Radiohead - High & Dry

Pandora (in order):
-- Less Than Jake - Great American Sharpshooter
-- Operation Ivy - Unity
-- Reel Big Fish - Snoop Dog, Baby
--  Streetlight Manifesto - What a Wicked Gang Are We?
-- Me First & the Gimme Gimmes - Sunday Morning Coming Down (cover)
-- MxPx - My Life Story
-- Rancid - Avenues and Alleyways
-- Goldfinger - Just Like Heaven (cover)
-- LTJ - Scott Farcas Takes it on the Chin
-- Rx Bandits - Status
-- Blink182 - Dammit
-- RBF - Somebody Hates Me
-- Streetlight - Everything Went Numb
-- Mighty Mighty Bosstones - (the title of this entry!)
-- Blink-182 - What's My Age Again?
-- Goldfinger - Anxiety
-- RBF - Trendy
-- Big D & the Kids Table - Little Bitch
-- Mustard Plug - What You Say
-- Catch 22 - What Goes Around Comes Around
-- NOFX - Linoleum
-- Streetlight - We Will Fall Together (same as Catch's What Goes Around)
-- SUBLIME - DATERAPE (aka, that song I've been BEGGING the radio to play for a week!!!!)

Masaya na ko ngayon

Masaya na ko ngayon


Masaya na ko ngayon.

Dati, may mga araw

Na ni hindi ko alam kung paano ngumiti

O bakit kailangan ko pang bumangon sa umaga

Pero ngayon,

Kapag nakikita ko kayo,

Naaalala ko kung gaano ako kaswerte –

Kayo ang inspirasyon sa araw-araw

At nagbibigay ng kulay

Sa monotonong buhay.

Pag dumadating man ang lungkot

O yung panahong ang bigat ng buhay,

Tinitignan ko lang ang mga litrato nyo

At naaalala ko na

Bakit ako bumabangon sa umaga.

Masaya na ko ngayon,

Magaan na sa dibdib ang pagdadala ng buhay,

Kaya na kahit n may problema pa.

Masaya na ko ngayon

At sana, masaya ka rin

Saan man parte ng mundo naroroon ka.





Trying to Pretend
I just want to be happy...

but it doesn't seem to be up to me.

Every day, I think about you, Jayden. I keep trying to forget, but I can't.

Tito makes me happy, sure. Sure, someone else could make me happy.

But I can't pretend being with you didn't feel like the most rightest and comfortable thing I've ever felt.

And there's nothing I can do about it...

whip it
Is it possible to feel freedom when u want it. When i do have the freedom it is trapped in a box that i do not take advantage of. As if i can just  capture them and put them away and use them up like a get our of jail free card. As a update..I have been on a break from school..the semester ended...and it is four week break. LUCKAYYYYY.

I used up 2 of my weeks already of being online, watching fantastic-capturistic-movies, a occasional visit from close friends, and finaly i might want to add..i added this 2nd week of non stop working like crazy. I read an essay about a workaholic..i dont want to end up like he did. Even though im young im stuck as always somehow lol. Next week i begin practice of softballage, which is mon thru fri 1:00-4:00PM..and it is supposed to be very brutal. Then after that school starts. yay college.

my life consists of softball, school THEN work. Softball and school and work are my life for now..i put softball and work first then actual school goes after all of them. And its ever obvious that im suffering and wasting time in school with the grades i get and all the dropped classes i have obtained.

softball has always been the main focus in my life, i feel like it has sucked me in and dry. i wanted to succeed in it and make it into a good college, i wanted to show and have a outcome of all the years it took away from me that consisted of hard work and dedication. none of it seems to be paying off. i wanted to be able to prove to all of them that i can be on top because i was always the hardest worker. they went off partying doing drugs having sex..participating in celebrating life asi stayed in working my ass off and shuting myself out from everyone. i lost friends and good times and memories and absolute tru happiness. When does it truly pay off?
im starting to give up this dream and idea i put in my head.

another dream that i need to fulfill...instead of living this life-i need to participate in finding who i am and making up for lost time.
i want to keep writing..but i have to get up in seven hours to work a twelve hour shift.HMMPHF

8-Day Challenge
This challenged was issued to me by a friend via email, so I thought I'd put it out here for myself, and anyone else brave enough to do it.

The challenge is.... for 8 straight days, no matter how minuscule the thing, you have to write about something that makes you happy.

That's right; happy.  Big things, medium things, completely trivial things, doesn't matter.  The important part is to spend 8 days, more than a week, actually documenting at least one thing a day that make you smile or warm your heart.  For instance, if I had started yesterday,  ONE of my things would have been the fact that I was the first person to use the tube of toothpaste.

It's supposed to be 8 separate entries (like her 8 separate emails, which are great, btw), but I don't think I'll be doing that.  Not my style.  I'll just keep updating this one.  She gave me the challenge 3 days ago, but I wanted to wait until a day I needed to be happy to start.  I picked today, Sam's would-be 23rd birthday.

Day 1:  Thursday, August 13, 2009
--Finally remembering to check/read the comments section of Mindsay and seeing that people were speculating about my last post.  SO sweet to see that people remember things about me and in general, are concerned with what's going on in my life.  You guys are awesome <3.
-- How delicious this honeydew melon tastes.
-- Not setting my alarm for this morning and still waking up at the exact minute my clock would have gone off, at 6:04.  That means my body is STILL in the right mode, and if I ever DIDN'T set my alarm to go to work, I'd be able to wake up in time and get where I have to go.
-- Postcard from Jess during her trip to London/Europe.  I looooooooove my ex-roommate.  If I could move back to NY, I would live with her again in a HEARTBEAT.
-- Two GREAT episodes of M*A*S*H being on.  One with FLAGG, who is an amazing character in all of the episodes he guested in, which might be 8 - 12.  And then the one called "The General Flipped at Dawn", whose amazingness I can't word.  Everyone should watch MASH.

Day 2: Friday, August 14, 2009
-- My banana telling me to 'Place sticker on forehead.  Smile'.
-- The first 'Jess' episode of Gilmore Girls being on.  So far, that's 2 days in a row that I've written about being happified by something on TV, which is not par for the course for me, but it's true;  I LOVE the Jess episodes of Gilmore Girls.  He's such an ass, but though I avoided the series throughout its run, he drew me in.
-- The sunshine, blue skies, and puffy white clouds currently sitting outside my window, begging me to come play in them.  DONE; has summer finally arrived, though some of the leaves are changing?!!?
-- Finding a movie called, "Asian Wang Riders".  Yeah... clearly an adult movie by that title, but made me smile.
-- Finding the ring Michaela gifted me my last trip to NY.  Beautiful.
-- Getting invited to Elana and Menlo's engagement party.  I've been alerted the 'kids' aren't invited to the actual affair, but I can't wait to see my family Sept. 26th :)
Day 3:  Saturday, August 15, 2009
-- Waking up (at 6:45) with Jackson sleeping and purring on my bed.  That means the evil dog is at work with my mom, and that of all the spots in the entire house he could curl up, he picked mine.
-- Taking a walk at the Rec with mom and Ugly (the dog).  I don't like having her there, but I like walking with mom, and I like getting exercise after a week of a LOT of being unable to stop eating.
-- Getting to see Olivia whilst hiking in the woods TWICE.  She's my favorite of the lifeguards at the pool, and has been for the last 4 years.  I love Livi.
-- Still having no idea who Kim Kardashian is.  Or her sisters.  Or these Jon and Kat people. Or Miley Cyrus.  Very happy to report I could walk past any of them on the street and have no idea that I had just done so.
-- Re-hearing my Dad's Woodstock story in honor of its anniversary.
  Day 4:  Sunday, August 16, 2009
-- Thinking about E and D's story featuring 'Aunt Yo Mama' and of course, the protagonist, 'Yo Homy jin jin' (sic).  I miss those boys sooooooo much.
-- Today being day 4.  4 is my favorite number.
-- Finishing Nicole's birthday card.  It's a fishbowl, with a bunch of fish (her, her sister, and her brother's faces are glued onto some of the fish to be funnier), and inside it says, "it's your birthday - get FISHFACED".  I meant to get a pic of Dave Matthews, her faaaaaaaaavorite (since she moved on from Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin), onto one of the fish, but it's not done.  Oops.
-- Finding a really beautiful dresser for my new apartment for a mere $20.
-- Going to the pool at the rec for the first time as a 'G.P. (general public)'.  Just sitting by the pool, reading, listening to music, tanning, NOT watching the campers in the pool.  I love watching the kids swim and have fun, but ... today, it's just me.
-- Sunday Night Traditions.  Reading and PostSecrets.  So voyeuristic of me, but I can't help it. 

Day 5:  Monday, August 17, 2009
-- Watching Gavin and Jake having a rip-roaring good time playing a game outside.  I don't understand all the rules, but it involves the garden hose, a stick, and a lot of yelling, so it's a good time.
-- Getting a dresser for my new apartment for $20.00.  And then getting a call from the guy who I left the 20 bucks for and him saying, "uh, I thought you were gonna take the neon green shelves, too, as part of the 20 bucks payment".  SO NOW I HAVE SOME SHELVES FOR MY CLASSROOM, TOO!
-- Setting up my filing system.  So nerdy, but SO necessary.
-- Email back from Aaron.  Aaron's the one who's gonna be living ON the same floor as me in the apartment.  The other 2 haven't written back yet, but I think contact w/ Aaron is going to be most important, because I have to be comfortable enough with this kid within about 2 weeks' time to share a bathroom with him.  HOPING he got that I was joking around in the email (I HATE how that never seems to translate).
-- Reading.  I am only on page 262 of about 500+ of FOREVER, by Pete Hammill, but I'm going to recommend it anyway.  It's taken a long time to finally get to the premise the back of the book talks about (260 pages to finally earn immortality), but now I can't wait to see how it turns out.
-- Erica calling to say: "I was thinking on Wednesday, since last time you came shopping with me, you and I could check out the Science Center like you wanted to".  OMG -- EEEEEE!  I am so excited to geek out at the Science Center in Hartford and see what it's like.
-- Phone with Arsenio.  I am PRETTY sure he's the same guy from our last stay, the one who made it magical.  Hope he works Tuesday nights : ).

Day 6: Tuesday, August 18, 2009
-- Putting things into my bag to go to Hartford in a few hours.  I know it's completely frivolous to go spend a night in a hotel in Hartford just to see a friend, but it's also necessary, having been so lonely all summer.  I'm really happy we have a place we can meet halfway to see each other.
-- The Hot Tub.
-- Amazing Desk Attendant (aka Arsenio) remembering us from our previous trip.
-- An onion a dream.
-- Seeing 'my husband'
.  Okay, so by 'seeing' I mean, I saw his picture in the paper; we are in no way in any sort of relationship.  But he got written up because he's a 24 year old (samesies)  corrections officer (aka, works with kids who would have been in my class if they were in elementary school) who is using up his sick/vacation time because he donated his bone marrow to a random kid from a donor list.  He said he did it so the kid would know that there are people out there who just care about humanity.  Pretty much, he's perfect.  Oh; and 'Daniel Katz' haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas to be Jewish  :).

Day 7: Wednesday, August 19, 2009
-- Connecticut Science Center <33.
-- Billy Joel.  Live
.  One day, will get to see him in concert.
-- Guacamole.  More Guac than 2 ppl should eat in a lifetime, but felt right.
-- 500 Days of Summer.  Go see it, if for no other reason than its soundtrack.  Great.
-- New Found Glory's Hoodwink performance.  Not as good as when I saw it live, but still AMAZING.  I mean... I L O V E T H E M .  I don't care if that's not cool anymore.  I love them. 
-- Not pulling over/into a parking lot when someone was driving right behind me for a period of more than 10 seconds.  That is HUGE for me.  I HATE having ppl drive behind me - it freaks me out.

Day 8:  Thursday, August 20, 2009
-- Waking up, and my first thought being, 'it's Jessica's birthday'.  Still.  After not seeing her for more than 6 years, she still means that much to me.  Camp friends really are like sisters.
-- Eating at Hope & Olive.  Delicious.
-- Getting in touch with Mary Ellen, the teacher who did my program last year, to set up a meeting and maybe get some of the damn supplies tomorrow.  NOT happy that I have to go do the leg work when THAT isn't my job, but happy to finally be able to DO something in my room.
-- Free peaches.
-- Writer's Block being lifted.  The drought is finally over...ish.
-- Having Weezer stuck in my head.  Perfect.

Day 9:  Friday, August 21, 2009
-- My salad at lunch today.  Crispy, cool, and delicious, with my homemade salad dressing.
-- Driving home in the thunderstorm.  But ONLY because it made me think of "Made with lightning...REAL lightning" and made me laugh.  Yuck it up:  Prepare to feel uncomfortably energetic.
-- Watching the 2nd video after watching the first to post it here.  I hate the beginning, with the guy in the desert, but if you can get past that... not bad.


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