Hanging Out @ MindSay

i'm soooooo excited for friday!!! i'm hanging out with my guy friend/crush again all night pretty much, just going around town, hanging out, parking... i can't wait. he's just so awesome. we made out a little yesterday and i tried to kick his ass, but it didn't work. i was stressed and he said i could beat him up if it helped, and it did. it was pretty funny. i scratched his arm really hard and it started bleeding. he made me kiss it. <333

i dyed my hair pitch black for the first time ever and i did a terrible job. there's a bunch of sections that are still reddish in the back underneath part. i only had money for one box of dye but i really should have gotten two...

Well, Mike and I just got back from hanging out with Michelle.  We went to Applebee's and had a lot of food.  I had so much fun but they were out of the Triple Chocolate Meltdown, I was not happy.  It is nice to go out and just relax!

But I did a little freak out which wasnt fair to Mike or Michelle.  It was my treat to everyone and I thought I didnt have the money but I realized that I freaked out for nothing.  All my bills were paid last week and that the cash in my account was just extra money.  I freak out way to much over these things.

Hey people....I am just hanging out at Michelle's listening to Mike and her playing X-box....I on the other hand have been applying to jobs because my job right now SUCKS^.^ lol.....

It is finally the weekend...Yah^.^ I have no idea what I am going to do?  But I do have to work on a project for school.....(*cough, cough, this sucks, cough, cough....Muhahahaha...cough, my doctor says I shouldnt do my evil laugh anymore.....lol^.^)

I just checking mail right now....I have a slight headach because Mike I making me stress out over work...I know he cares but it bothers me.....

nothing much has been happening, just school right noe until I find a job....ohhhhh thatsright I didnt tell you about what my boss Diana did to me.....I had gone into work, sick but I did my work...so I left an hour later and said I wouldnt be able to come in the next daylike I usally do but it is my day off though.....then on the next day she called me and I was sleeping because I didnt go to school due to I was really sick!  So I call her back and she tells me I dont have to go into work until she calls me when I am needed....so I am not fired but I dont have any hours.....this happened 2 weeks ago.....I have been trying to find another job and money is sooo tight right now, I dont have money for my basic bills....I have to ask Mike for a little money and I HATE doing that....He says its ok, that he is there to help me and make me happy but I dont like taking money from him....Of course I will pay him back but I still feel bad....I love him so much^.^

So I have to go and  here Mike and Michelle agure about the game...(it's funny to listen too...lol^.^)

so i've now remembered other little details from yesterday that i wanted to share. i spent pretty much the whole day after 1:00pm w/ Gabby n emo Jimmy. sarah was there for a while, too, but she had to go to class n stuff. Normally Gabby does, too, but she skipped yesterday, haha. there was some drama between her n emo Jimmy, but i dunno. if shit gets worse then i'll get into details about it. we also met up with this guy named John Parker n we went to this spot on a hill that i'd seen people at before, but i'd never been there. I'll have to take a pic so you can all understand how crazy it is that we went up there. it was beautiful, too! we (except Gabby) smoked some pot, but it wasn't enough to even get me buzzed really (stupid high tolerance) n we went back down the hill, which was exciting. me n Gabby slid through the grass n i got a pretty nasty sliver in my hand. we went back to emo Jimmy's room (he lives on campus) n he sanatized a needle n gave it to me to get the sliver out. its the first time ive done that n it still hurts a bit. u can see where it was, but at least the dumb thing's gone!

also, Patrick n Erin are SO chill! after smoking hookah n drinkin for a while they asked if n e one wanted to smoke some pot, n i'm always down for smoking for free. :P (no, i didn't say that, haha) i started talking about how i feel bad taking bong rips cuz i'm so bad at it, (people always say shit like, "you're doing it wrong!" or "here, let me light it for you!" so embarassing. :() n they were like, "Hey its cool, whatever works for you. It's better to take half hits for your lungs anyway." They were so cool! N then Erin PACKED N TURNED ON HER VAPORIZOR JUST FOR ME TO USE!!! HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!!! can u even believe that? if ur a pot smoker then u know how amazing it is to meet people like that. it was so awesome to meet people who also "hit the bong wrong" n they just didn't care. it was really great just hanging out with all of them last night.

it was funny, though, cuz i didn't even feel like i was sick n as far as i know, my nose actually pretty much stopped running! it was amazing, lol. however, i could tell that my voice was going. i felt the pain in my throat every time i talked n told myself maybe i should stop talking, but ne one who was reading this blog over winter break last year knows how talkative alcohol makes me n after Albert started constantly vocalizing how drunk he was, i couldn't help but tell him i was super stoned so he didn't feel bad. He kept complaining that no one else was fucked up n i was like, "you may be super drunk, but i'm fucking STONED!" hahaha. i also ate a lot of left over rice from dinner cuz i had the munchies...haha. (if you were reading this blog over winter break, you'd also know that alcohol gives me the munchies more n worse than pot does. i've decided that its like this: when i'm stoned, i wanna eat really badly, but i don't really need to. when i'm drunk, i NEED to eat! lol) but i think that's it for now. the phlem in my stomach is making me feel sick as usual, so i need to put on some clothes (hooray for after shower naked time!), make some food, n then probably buy more tissues, haha. later!

oh! n at some point Gabby walked up to me n we started rubbing up against each other again n i asked, "why does this happen every time we drink?" lol, its actually only been the last three times we've gotten drunk together, but yeah. :P oh, n the posters in my room keep falling down, n i really don't wanna use tacks, but...:(

*gasp* another two part entry? i suppose i could just sumarize the hell out of the first part and get both of these into one, but on the next part i want feedback and want to keep it seperate from this if anyone comments on this first part. (Sorry if this sounds a little confusing, i'm not completely awake yet.) That, and I don't want to summarize the first part, lol. So now that you have some idea of what's going on and why, about last night:

I talked online with dragonsbride for a bit and then Ted signed on. I don't really trust Ted, but I've gained some trust in him since last February and so I IMed him and told him i'm bored and back in Humboldt. he was like, "come say hi." I knew he was back here, so I figured I should, said bye to dragonsbride and went down to his room, which is luckily two buildings over. Turns out he's rooming with Leonard, which is totally cool. I chilled with them for a bit, sharing stories of extreme drunkeness cuz I guess there was a party Friday night and Ted fubared himself, and then one of their friends, Chris, walked in and asked if they wanted to go to a bonfire at the beach. Ted asked if he had room and if i wanted to come and I said sure. On the way out we stopped by grounds and stole a bunch of wood, (omg that was so much fun, lol) making Chris' car smell extremely good, and we listened to Pennywise on the way there which made me uber happy. It was weird because yesterday was the first day in a loooooooooong time that I got to see both the sunrise and the sunset on the same day. its a really cool feeling to watch the same day begin and many hours later end.

We went to Moonstone Beach, which i'd never been to before. The only beach I'd been to around here was Clam Beach. when it came to hauling the wood out there i was pretty useless, but i tried! Three of their friends were already out there, (two guys and a girl), and while me and one of them were hauling back a sheet full of wood, Anna called me. I told her i was at the beach and I told her I was hanging out with a couple people, one if their friends came down, asked if we wanted to go to the beach so we did. She said she might call later and I said ok. I felt bad not talking to her because she read on my blog about how bored i was and i probably should have said something about how i was going to hang out with Ted. i still feel bad about it, now, but it also would have been rude to the people i was with to continue talking to her. i still kind a feel like a bad friend, though. :(

So we had way more wood than we could have possibly used, but it was alright. The other girl, Tara, had brought some hot dogs and her and the two other guys went around the corner to grab some sticks. the spot we were in was beautiful. The rising moon on the ocean water, stars coming out, a forest behind us, and us with our little fire in a small cove. actually that fire got pretty big a couple of times, but not too big. Tara and the other guys broke the sticks and burned the ends a bit so they were sanitary for hot dog cooking and every one had one except for me, Chris, and one of the other guys. I think his name was Alandro or something. i wasn't hungry because between Denny's, a tall white chocolate mocha at Starbucks, and half an order of Super Nachos at Rico's Tacos, i was stuffed. but i'm glad Leonard had a hot dog, because wow. A little bit before I went to their room, Leonard had chugged about a pint of San Pedro Cactus juice. For those of you who don't know, this contains mesciline, a hallucinagen. (ok, my spelling sux.) If you cook it wrong you'll lose all of it and end up with drinking what has now been described to me by two different people as the worst tasting shit ever without trippin. Lucky for Leonard, he knows how to cook it right, so he was having a good time the whole time we were at the beach. He was cooking his hot dog and then says, "You have to keep rotating it because of the way the sun naturally cooks hot dogs in the wild." What? "You know, they way they grow and the sun cooks them." We had a brief descussion about this before he moved on to better things. He looked out over the ocean back towards Arcata (we were north of it) and asked about a constilation in the sky. I told him it was Scorpio, and then we got onto talking about stars and satallites for a little bit.

After a while, he went and layed down on a rock and just looked up at the sky, then, "Oh guys, there's a satallite right there!" "Where?" "Right there, don't you see it?" After about two minutes of this and us looking at the sky, Ted goes, "What are you talking about, dawg?" it was so fucking funny. Then Leonard really did see a satallite and me, Chris, and Ted saw it, too. We started talking about shooting stars (which i did end up seeing a couple of later) and how satallites go to slow. Leonard goes, "That shooting star is going slow, make a gang of wishes!" lol! its kind of hard to explain, but in the car we were joking about expressions people use to mean a lot of something, and "a gang" is one of the ones that came up. I think it was at this point or around here that Tara and Alandro got up and got something at the car, and I just realized that I was alone with four guys, two of which i'd just met that day, and I didn't trigger at all! I didn't even fucking notice until now! woo! there's proof right there that anyone that thinks i'm not making progress can go fuck themselves! :D i'm so happy now!

but back to the story, Leonard started talking on his phone, and eventually wandered off into the darkness and no one really noticed but me, but i didn't think he was trippin that bad. The last guy, Jose, takes out a bowl and packs it, and so me, him, Ted, Tara, and Alandro smoked it. Chris is apparently trying to quit and Leonard was "good for now" before he wandered off. I didn't get that stoned, mostly because since I hadn't done it since April my lungs and throat weren't used to the smoke and I couldn't take in as much or really hold it, but that was fine with me because I did feel something. I think i was more stoned that I thought i was, but it was ok. Jose packed it again once we finished that, and we passed it around again.

When we finished the second bowl three of Tara's friends, (two girsl and a guy) showed up with their dog Beta. deffinately made me happy be be around an animal while i was stoned, lol. Poor Beta was afraid of the fire, though. :( but she was ok. She managed to get to the other side of the circle and sit. I don't remember the two girls' names, but one was brunette, the other was blonde, and the guy's name was Casey. the brunette was really talkative so that made things fun. :P She wanted to tell scary stories, but the one she told was a variation of one that I knew, and i knew another one but i knew i was probably too stoned to get it right, lol. because i was sitting i didn't realize how stoned i was until i moved, which is why now that i'm sober i think i was higher than i realized i was last night. Anyway, when I told my version of it Beta walked over and didn't lay in my lap but she kinda stood over it and i was petting her, and i was like, "what a weird time to tell a story about a dog." lol, seriously, i'm like holding a dog and telling a ghost story where one gets killed.

After that, Alandro asks us to share what the craziest thing we've ever done/seen is. His was going to the Power Exchange in SF, a sex club. he said he didn't have sex there, but the friend he took was a submissive and the master in the dungeon kept asking him to participate in whipping her and stuff. he told another story, too, because you can watch what goes on in the little rooms, but i didn't understand it, lol. The only things that came to mind for crazy shit i saw were painful, and the only thing i could think of as the craziest thing i'd done was having anal with Nam outside the tech museum at 9:45pm on a summer Friday night, but i didn't think anyone else would want to hear it. The blonde shared something too, i think, but i don't remember.

After that we told jokes. Ted told the best one, but I felt really good because all the jokes I told got a really awesome laugh from everyone and they really liked a couple of mine, too. Good to know I wasn't so high that I couldn't tell a joke, lol. Casey told some fucked up ones and if I hadn't been stoned one of them probably would have made me trigger. :/ its weird because thinking about it then and thinking about it now i thought i should be more bothered by it. Maybe that's a sign of progress, too? Anyway, while a couple of the other people were telling jokes, Ted offered me a Twizzlers and I said "No" "You don't have the munchies?" "I just don't like Twizzlers." "Neither do I really." "Well, maybe if I break off a little piece..." I did, and then remembered why i don't like Twizzlers- they're fucking gross. I almost spat it out, but thought that would be weird. I thought about making a hot dog, but i was too lazy to cook it, lol.

At some point Leonard came back and told a joke or two, and some time after things died down someone called me. I was amazed that I had a signal on the beach. I couldn't get to my phone, though, and figured oh well. A few minutes later they called again. I thought it was Anna, but it was Stuart and he was Fucked. Up. Beyond. All. Recognition. He couldn't even talk. All I heard was techno in the background and him going, "wahh, walahwa, wahh" and just hung up. I felt like a bad friend again, but it would have been rude to the other people to try to baby him and figure out wtf was going on. We chilled for a bit longer, me and the blonde talked about cats, and then everyone was tired so we left. Ted, being part of the Arcata fire department, made sure the fire was out so they didn't have to call his ass back there, later. :P

So that's it for part one! i had a lot of fun and was really happy to get out. Sorry that its so long, but thanx for reading! i'm gonna change my pants, eat something, and clean my face before I get started on part two. later!