Ground Hog Day @ MindSay 
Like Groundhog Day, but with more hell-fire.
This is how I feel. Honestly. Probably more info than anyone will want to hear, but I gotta get this off my chest.
I feel like I'm dying. I'm a 21 year old with the health problems of an 80 year old. My entire endocrine system is out of whack (thyroid, pituitary, hypothalamus), hormone levels of an 80 year old, oh yeah that fucking tumor in my sphenoid sinus (which comes out december 5), the hundreds of little moles that appear daily on my skin, and let's not forget the cripling depression and anxiety, drug use, and bipolarity. I could have my own fucking episode on House: MD.
I feel pissed, angry, depressed, upset, like crying, like life's unfair, like I've lived passed my own expiration date, that no one in my family understands me or loves me, that no matter what I do it will never be right, that maybe just maybe I'm actually dead and in hell. This certainly would be a fitting eternal punishment, to live my life over and over and suffer the same fate, without ever knowing I've done it a thousands times over and without any chance of making a change. At least Bill Murray changed his fate.
Why am I posting this on thanksgiving? Because it's hard for me to think of anything I'm thankful for when all I want is to die. Sure, I have a house a bed, clothes on my back, food on the table and for that I am thankful. But what I want is a shot at life...a decent happy life without any of these issues. Maybe that's just how it's supposed to be, but is it so wrong for me to want something better? Don't I deserve a break here and there? If there is a god I'd like to kick him in the balls for a change. And if there isn't, then I only hope my atoms break apart and join the rest of the universe, until it implodes or something like that.
eh....going to cry in the shower now or something lame.
I feel like I'm dying. I'm a 21 year old with the health problems of an 80 year old. My entire endocrine system is out of whack (thyroid, pituitary, hypothalamus), hormone levels of an 80 year old, oh yeah that fucking tumor in my sphenoid sinus (which comes out december 5), the hundreds of little moles that appear daily on my skin, and let's not forget the cripling depression and anxiety, drug use, and bipolarity. I could have my own fucking episode on House: MD.
I feel pissed, angry, depressed, upset, like crying, like life's unfair, like I've lived passed my own expiration date, that no one in my family understands me or loves me, that no matter what I do it will never be right, that maybe just maybe I'm actually dead and in hell. This certainly would be a fitting eternal punishment, to live my life over and over and suffer the same fate, without ever knowing I've done it a thousands times over and without any chance of making a change. At least Bill Murray changed his fate.
Why am I posting this on thanksgiving? Because it's hard for me to think of anything I'm thankful for when all I want is to die. Sure, I have a house a bed, clothes on my back, food on the table and for that I am thankful. But what I want is a shot at life...a decent happy life without any of these issues. Maybe that's just how it's supposed to be, but is it so wrong for me to want something better? Don't I deserve a break here and there? If there is a god I'd like to kick him in the balls for a change. And if there isn't, then I only hope my atoms break apart and join the rest of the universe, until it implodes or something like that.
eh....going to cry in the shower now or something lame.
We Got Snowed In - yay!
My partner John lost his mom to complications from Diabetes on Ground Hog Day. She lived in Owen Sound, about a 2 hour drive due north from where we live. We got back late yesterday afternoon, after being snowed in for two days!
On ground hog day we had driven up and back the same day - the roads were clear and there was virtually no snow. When we went up for the wake on Sunday it had been snowing enough in Guelph that we knew the driving conditions would be completely different. We drove up through white outs and snow drifts and treacherous patches of rough road. We made it, without incident, though John had considered turning back twice!
Not long after we got to Owen Sound we began to understand just how fierce this winter storm was, judging from the bent and broken tree limbs, power outages and roofs covered with so much snow it appeared as if each house in town was covered with a huge fluffy duvet!
Pretty this is true, but no fun for drivers, road crews or utility workers. Now on the plus side, people who ski and snow plow drivers were likely pleased to see us finally getting some appreciable snow. We even saw the odd snowmobile on the trails, though fewer than we thought we'd see.
Apparently we got home just in time - the roads we travelled to get home were closed again yesterday and are still closed this morning. Predictions are for more snow squalls to set up right through to the weekend.
Guelph is just south of what is considered the "snow belt" in our region and the differences in weather once you cross the imaginary line are very noticable when the snow flies.
Here are a few more pictures from the trip;
Today it would be hard to believe that our weather predicting groundhog in the area (Wiarton Willie lives just down the road from here!) has us slated for an early spring! We anticipate this will melt soon if Wiarton Willie was right. In the meantime those who really love the snow now have a chance to enjoy it before this grip of winter passes and spring starts to make its presence known!
In the meantime it's time for us to start some seeds indoors for some of the plants that will go into the garden starting in April or early May. And we'll hope for that early spring, knowing we just might not get it, given the weird weather patterns this year! Gardening is not an exact science - the weather is always challenging what you think you might know about growing things, and that's half of what is the fun of gardening!
On ground hog day we had driven up and back the same day - the roads were clear and there was virtually no snow. When we went up for the wake on Sunday it had been snowing enough in Guelph that we knew the driving conditions would be completely different. We drove up through white outs and snow drifts and treacherous patches of rough road. We made it, without incident, though John had considered turning back twice!
Not long after we got to Owen Sound we began to understand just how fierce this winter storm was, judging from the bent and broken tree limbs, power outages and roofs covered with so much snow it appeared as if each house in town was covered with a huge fluffy duvet!
Pretty this is true, but no fun for drivers, road crews or utility workers. Now on the plus side, people who ski and snow plow drivers were likely pleased to see us finally getting some appreciable snow. We even saw the odd snowmobile on the trails, though fewer than we thought we'd see.
Apparently we got home just in time - the roads we travelled to get home were closed again yesterday and are still closed this morning. Predictions are for more snow squalls to set up right through to the weekend.
Guelph is just south of what is considered the "snow belt" in our region and the differences in weather once you cross the imaginary line are very noticable when the snow flies.
Here are a few more pictures from the trip;
Today it would be hard to believe that our weather predicting groundhog in the area (Wiarton Willie lives just down the road from here!) has us slated for an early spring! We anticipate this will melt soon if Wiarton Willie was right. In the meantime those who really love the snow now have a chance to enjoy it before this grip of winter passes and spring starts to make its presence known!
In the meantime it's time for us to start some seeds indoors for some of the plants that will go into the garden starting in April or early May. And we'll hope for that early spring, knowing we just might not get it, given the weird weather patterns this year! Gardening is not an exact science - the weather is always challenging what you think you might know about growing things, and that's half of what is the fun of gardening!
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Re: I Left - you're right...there's more in the next blog.
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