Grammar @ MindSay 
english
Can you read these right the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present ..
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. I f you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP! . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
Jim's Police and Military Page
Jim Heitmeyer and Editorial Staff
- Shhhh don't tell, but I have a theory. No seriously! I believe we can spell anything we want or need to say using only the 26 letters in our alphabet. Yup, it's true. You can speak seriously, using what is deemed correct American English grammar, or u can xpress urself in gr8 brevity. Either way, you can usually make yourself understood, yes? Pretty cool! Only 26 letters and and endless number of combinations. It's kinda fun trying a bit a creativity, too! ;)
- When my kids were small, strangely enough, I never seemed to find much time for "pleasure reading". I read to them, but they seldom saw me reading for fun. None of them are big readers. NOW, however, it is rare that I do not have a book nearby ... even during school. (Just finished Dean Koontz's Frankenstein! WOOT!! It's book one of a 2 part series, so now I have to go find the other two parts!) Two of the three kids (the 2 girls) have begun to read for pleasure. I think my son will, too, at some point in the near future. The experts say if you want your kids to be readers, then YOU must be a reader. I'm guessing they're onto something!
- Another theory I have, though a bit more serious, is that at this point in time, we, in this country at least, are so overwhelmed with INFORMATION - from the net, from TV, from various podscasts and devices - we are virtually surrounded on every front with INFORMATION that requires processing. It's my theory, unproven scientifically, that we have exceeded our capacity to process intelligently the enormous amount of INFORMATION. This is why many, many American's have chosen OR succumbed to any number of rather obvious defense mechanisms:
- ANGER / violence, murder
- FRUSTRATION
- DEPRESSION
- ADDICTION
- EXTREMIST (politically, religiously, or in some sport or activity)
- CONFUSION
- RESIGNATION
- APATHY
I simply don't believe we were created to handle the amounts of information that inundates us daily. When we are confronted with images and information concerning a situation about which we know little, and the little we know is, well - how reliable are our information sources? It is a natural reflex to want to solve the problem, we're all fixers in one way or another, but if our information is incomplete - which it almost always is - how can we make intelligent opinions and / or take wise action?
SOLUTIONS? Some people have disposed of their TV's or eliminated cable access. Others, like myself, rarely listen to or read the news. (No need - it's all the same, over and over.) So my theory is to gain control in some way over the amount and quality of information that we absorb. I'm NOT suggesting we all bury our heads in the sand, but I am suggesting we need to admit our limitations. We have to face the fact that all the information we receive is NOT trustworthy and / or accurate, and unless we can get first hand information, or solve the immediate issue ... what is the PURPOSE of us knowing?
In the military, almost anyone with a clean record can obtain a security clearance, but information is controlled on a "need to know" basis. I'm sure large corps work the same way. None of us can be up to date on the latest issues, the lastest technology, the latest medical breakthroughs, the latest bio-chemical weapons, the happenings in every nation on the globe, let alone every tribe and city ... We just cannot ...
What do we NEED to know? Each of us, I imagine, has a different threshhold ... a different need for information in different arenas, different fields. Then, rather than screaming at one another and blaming the other for not knowing what we know, maybe we could learn how to SHARE the information ... I don't know. My "theory" hasn't been tested. I only see the vast amounts of angry run-off, and ... want to FIX it.
OK ... that's my deposit for today! Make healthy choices today, k?
~ B
I hate it when people misuse words like "their" and "there" and "they're." It just irritates me. Did you NOT pay attention in the third grade, people?!?!
The same goes for "we're," "where," and "were."
And no offense, but to those people who think "alot" is a word, please, just slip and fall. Maybe this whole fiasco started because there's a verb (allot) that means to apportion, or to grant. People who are educated enough to write formal letters usually use phrases like "a great deal" so the common man doesn't ever see "a lot" used, well, a lot. Heh. You wouldn't write "alittle," would you?
Piss off. Please.
And please, stop saying it's called an ATM Machine. ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine, so you're actually saying Automated Teller Machine Machine. I silently laugh at people when they say things like this, because they're usually making a complete ass of themself.
I can't put together a sentence to save my life, but I can spell, and I guess I owe that (if nothing else) to my father.
me4muzik (7 hours ago)
ho my frend told me 2 check out hur vid cuz i lukd a hell of a lot lyk hur,ths chik is cool! she's..difrent,noones dun anythng kwite lyk it
ahhh!!!! this stuff drives me crazy!!!!!!! :P
ok i have a test i gotta study for now. i promise to post an actual entry soon!!
I'm pissed that I have use capital letters in the correct places and not use too many commas, and of course there is my nemesis, my Moby Dick (can I say moby dick? No, I can't, here comes the grammar police) if you will - the whole (not hole) I, E, C clusterfuck.
i just want to right, man, is that rong - can u not reCIEve what im sayin' unless i bow to your fuckin laws?
I WILL RESIST (oooooo, look at all those capitals all in a row) holy hell.
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