Graduation @ MindSay

Emotional exhaustion, thy name is Emily.

Between the D drama, a field trip today, almost realizing I have 3 half days left as a teacher, not having a job next year yet, the impending visit of an unwanted 'friend' (overshare? oh well), the missing of wanted friends, and the incredibly cute slideshow at the graduation tonight ... I'm DEAD.  There is not a single tear left inside this teacher's body.  Not possible for my eyes to be any heavier.

It was less the slideshow and the fact that my beloved 6th graders are leaving (and believe me, that's hard.  I have come to LOVE that class, and they love me, too.  It was the songs they picked for it int he background.  Vitamin C's graduation song OBVIOUSLY everyone graduates to, and I DID have a camp connection to it, but that was okay.  It was when "Lean on Me" came on that I lost it; that song to me IS Rolling River.  And I miss camp so fucking much right now.  And then some song about 'do I make you proud?', and then OF COURSE, they ended with Good Riddance ... the version where he says 'fuck' after messing up 2x. Oops; they didn't realize he said fuck?  I JUST SAID FUCK.  FUCK. (so tired!)

Thank G-d for Shelley, though.  We went out to dinner after I was a sobbing mess at graduation.  She is a really good friend.  I called Nicole while I was waiting for her, and that always makes me feel better, but talking to Shel in my driveway ... she's so great.  She told me that the way I talk about my kids/job reminds her of working with Karen, the Pre-K teacher.  What an amazing compliment.  She thinks it's unfair that someone like me got cut when someone like Nancy or Cynthia are tenured, but don't really care about teaching.  They're tired and maybe burnt out, but they're still here, and I've got so much to give, and I'm up the creek.

The trip today was good, despite it not being the original plan.  Only E showed up, so we COULD have gone swimming.  Nichole called but it took a turn for the worse; I'm afraid D is back in the hospital because she was on the phone with me 2x this morning and she was in a really bad, stressed-out place.  I need to do something for her; like call one of the restaurants and get a meal for 5-6 ppl sent to her house so it will be one meal accounted for that she doesn't have to pay for because she doesn't get paid enough.  And I wish I knew how to do more for her.

"So, you're crying because the light from the projector got in your eye?" 
"Not even going to pretend that's true".

(Later)

"You pulled it together"
"WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT! (tears up)

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Why I work with young kids and love every single minute of it:

(talking to Blaze, one of the twins who showed up wearing identical dresses in dif colors)
Me:  I don't wanna spoil your evening, but there's someone else here wearing your dress!
Roxy (her twin):  Really?!?!


As I was leaving, I got giant hugs from Levin and Andrew (of all people!), with Lev even throwing in an, "I'll miss you".

And as I was leaving, I got screamed at from the playground by a group of 6-8 kids.  Who then RAN across the field to come give me 'one more hug', and then AGAIN as I left, they were screaming goodbye to me.  Emma, Laura, Sam...and Bennett.  Why Ben was there I don't know, but it's nice to know I am back in his good graces again :).

Quick update-

• I had a very nice break yesterday, shopping with the girls. We laughed all day and went out to eat at Olive Garden.
• My sister's graduation is tomorrow, which means all of my family is coming home today. This should be pretty interesting.
• I'm out of books to read...again.
• I might be going to Ohio the last week of June for service work with a close friend. But if I go, right when I come home, I'd have to leave to a retreat for another week.
• I'm going to Rome in November, made the first downpayment yesterday. And many more to come.
• I'm on Ultram, says not to overdose cuz it'll lead to severe drowsiness. I took one and I feel like I'm going to pass out.
• Summer officially starts on Monday for me.

Santas has a sense of humor. No one can deny this.

What kind of sense of humor is somewhat debatable. Brilliant, but irreverent, and often terribly so. Her theatrical delivery is smashing, her choice of material occasionally distressing. Wonderful mind, cutting wit, and has a gift for seeing connections that other people overlook.

Which brings us to tonight's activity.

If you're not familiar with Postsecret, well, that's your choice at this point, because it's more popular than Pandora and just about everybody on the intrawubs has read something about it somewhere. But, at the moment, Postsecret is offering an option for people to leave one-line commencement messages to this season's graduates.

Santas is going through these and finding humor in which pieces of advice happened to be placed next to each other (we can only assume that these are coincidental - Frank can't have THAT much time on his hands).


"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
"Grow a beard."

Easily one of the harder things for both of us to do, but I can't shake the nagging feeling that it might not be the right thing for either of us.


"A theory can never be proven right so all you can do is keep proving it wrong."
"Know that you are loved."

As I said, occasionally, a terrible sense of humor.


"Seek contentness, find peace."
"It's better to be scared than bored."

She was in stitches after that one.


This is the only one where I had any real input.
S: "If you're not living on the edge, you're wasting space."
S: Also.
S: "Leap, and the net will appear."
S: :giggles to bits::
P: So...we should leap off the edge, so that we can take up space in this net that hasn't appeared yet, because, while we're certain it's going to appear, its absence means that the space that we're about to occupy cannot be measured, and therefore can't be counted against us
P: Faith in the provincial nature of the unknown makes economics work!
P: Brilliance!
P: ...I'm never letting you anywhere near my checkbook


"The true test of your character will be in how you treat those you DO NOT have to be nice to."
"Don't worry about the opinions of people who don't matter."

What's particularly funny on this one is that these are both pieces of advice we've gotten from Mom. I guess I would summarize it as, "Be nice to everybody, but don't worry about what they think of you."

And, on a final note;
"Speak your voice!"
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You are now officially reading a blog written by someone who holds a wildlife science bachelor's degree! Yay! If you can't figure it out, I graduated from college this past weekend  =)  Overall it was an awesome/bittersweet time. It was hard to part ways with such good friends, but we will meet again and these past few days were some of the best days I have ever had! We even had a typical adirondack graduation which meant freezing our asses off by the lake under a giant tent with the electricity going out. It was perfect  =)

 

It seems a lot of things are coming to an end. Some I had expected and some I hadn't. I couldn't live in college forever lol. One of my friendships is also completely terminated with no hope of recovery. I had blogged about it earlier but it's really over. I really tried to patch it up, but he won't listen. His last few words were too cruel I can still feel them in them in the pit of my stomach. It is true that friends know how to hurt you the most. Apparently though he's fine with drunk dials to my phone. grrr. Maybe I should get a new number...

 

But I am moving on to a brighter and hotter future. In a few weeks I will be working with my good friend in New Mexico/ Texas with endangered falcons! It is definitely a dream job come true =) I hope to find my fortune out there or at least a fantastic adventure.