Gore @ MindSay

Last night, in Detroit, Al Gore endorsed Obama with these words:

"After eight years of incompetence, neglect and failure, we need change.  After eight years when our Constitution has been dishonored and disrespected, we need changes."

Wow... It's shocking that I've only posted.. what, 6 blogs since LAST Christmas? How crazy is that? I guess it just goes to show how busy I've been.

 

Well, I don't remember if I posted about being homeschooled through my entire highschool experience... I'm pretty sure that I did... But I just recently finished my first IN school experience, and first semester of college... AMAZING...

 

Haha... It was awesome, honestly. I love being in a class room, having deadlines, etc... It really motivates me to keep moving and doing stuff... Plus, it keeps me busy enough to stay out of the majority of trouble that I could get in... and helps me learn along the way...

 

My grades were finally posted the other day for this last semester... And although I know I'm not keeping a 4.0 throughout college, I didn't do too terribly. 2 A's, 2 A-'s and a B-... So that means that so far I have a 3.57 GPA... Not too shabby...

 

Well, I'd like to share a poem with you guys that I wrote... I was having a conversation with someone about how we've just grown accustomed to the blood and gore from movies and such.... That it was something that people used to grimace at and turn away from, but now it becomes almost humorous in many situations. Anyway, this is just a random thing I wrote a few days after that conversation... Enjoy :)

 

Hey mister

Yeah, you

Do you understand this, dude?

No glory

No friends

And we wonder why he’s dead

He lay there

No pain

Cause life ended yet again

We’re numb

No tears

We’ve lost our deepest fears

The blood

The gore

We’ve seen it all before

The end

Will come

No worries ever more

If I never blog again it is because I am spending all my time in my renovated master bath. I just finished sucking up all the construction dust and then washing all the surfaces and after standing on a bath tub with cold water _ washing it down- I stepped onto the 78 degree temperature floor and felt like I had landed in the bahamas on a summer day. Oh heavenly floor.  by tuesday the bidet should be in and the toilet gets reinstalled. Voila!!

 

and I made scones. with currents, almonds and a touch of marsala. swooooooooon.

Much like Col. XkachoojiX, I too have been indulging in some cinematic "brilliance" of late. My Netflix account is currntly up to full speed again so on Saturday, I got The Mad Butcher via Something Weird. So yeah, when I get something from the Something Weird catalog of films, I have a certain standard of expectation. While their sexploitation movies leave a massive amount to be desired, the horror/slasher films are among the best in terms if payoff in the gore department. With the high watermark being The Wizard Of Gore, I am expecting The Mad Butcher to deliver. The concept is genius — a German butcher is finally released from the mental hospital to return to normal life after 3 years in the rubber room. As her returns to his shop, he is in a bit of conflict between staring at the silhouette of the naked woman across the way and his irritating, nagging wife. After a scuffle, he chokes his wife to death and decides that he can turn his wife into sausage to hide the evidence. He does so and the sausage is so beloved by his customers, he keeps killing people and turning them into sausage. Sounds amazing? Yes.....but no. One question — WHERE IS THE GORE?!?!?!?!? There is none. Zero. Zilch. Nadda. Nothing. Even the moments of violence are no more brutal than anything you've seen on a rerun of Andy Griffith. Everything is implied. The thing that really ruins this movie is that it is just an uncomfortable mix from the outset. The lead, played by Victor Buono, is cast well enough but the problem lies in that this movie is schlock, it knows it is schlock but Victor Buono was an actual actor, not a Z-Grade hack. So, aside from the obvious lack of gore and hilarity, you have an actual actor surrounded by talentless dopes in an obvious Z-grade film. Total disappointment, especially considering that, given the context, The Mad Butcher had a TON of potential to rock the proverbial house.

So then, on Monday night, we watched Crank on Blu-ray. First off, despite my slandering it in the beginning, Blu-Ray really is impressive beyond mere words. If you have an HDTV, it's worth buying a PS3 for because the picture quality is ridiculous. As for Crank itself, I'm a pretty big fan of Jason Statham so I'm REALLY forgiving when it comes to his movies. I think that trailer was a dead giveaway that this movie would be big budget schlock but despite this fact, the movie was pretty darn entertaining. Jason Statham is actually a great actor so he has the ability to take a movie of this type and make it better. That is not to say that Crank sucked aside from Statham because it was actually a good movie for what it was. All I'm saying is that Jason Statham made it better. He has the ability to act and have his personality shine through while still being believable in an action role. Sorry Steven Seagal and Arnold fans. Jason Statham is the action king now, even though I still believe his best roles are ahead of him.

So last night, we walked in in time to see Snakes On A Plane. I hadn't seen it in about 8 months now and initially, I was kind of like "Man, I'm not in the mood for this movie right now." but those feelings quickly dissipated because again, the movie holds enough entertaining moments to be a fun movie. Besides, Samuel L. Jackson can carry pretty much any movie from the depths of idiocy. Take the snakes out and replace Jackson with any other actor and this movie is the worst thing ever. Add him back in and have an extreme antagonist such as hundreds of poisonous snakes.....comedy gold. If I ever make a movie, I thinking Sharks In A Submarine. Me thinks that Snakes On A Plane could be this generation's Escape From New York. Just watch.

Yes...I've been indulging in cinema schlock again. Sue me, I'm a guy. As much as I like artsy indie movies and movies that make me think, I am still equally excited by tons of gore and destruction.

On a side note (sort of), watching Snakes On A Plane made me ponder this question: Who has the best movie "fuck"? What I mean is in all of cinema history, who has the most effective on-screen use of the word "fuck"? To get us started, here are my top 5 movie "fucks".

1. Samuel L. Jackson (duh)
2. Joe Pesci
3. Dave Chappelle
4. Robert Deniro
5. Vinnie Jones
Honorable Mention: Alan Ford (otherwise known as Brick Top)

I could still find things to complain about as it pertains to the opposite sex but I think it's time for a rest. Instead, I filled my weekend with movies and video games a plenty.

Dipping into my own stash for the beginning, I whipped out Umberto Lenzi's Nightmare City to kick off my homework-lite weekend. I saw the trailer for this slab about a month ago and it made me giggle profusely. While I generally think the "modern" concept of running zombies is weak, Lenzi implemented this tactic over 20 years ago in this film, but with much better results. Rather than the dead walking again, these zombies are actually humans infected with nuclear radiation and their thirst for human blood is necessary to keep them alive rather than via an acquired taste. Fresh blood replaces the infected blood via the radiation. Pretty interesting. What makes the whole shebang more brutal/hilarious/enjoyable is their use of vast weaponry and hand-to-hand combat. These zombies have a stabbing fetish that ceases to be quenched so, sans maybe a 10 minute lull in the opening 30 minutes, Nightmare City is a 92 minutes stabfest with some hilarious results that dip generously into my latest mindset concerning dating and such. You just have to see it for yourself. Like all Italian horror, it throws convention out the window from the opening title sequence and just goes for the gusto, leaving things like character development and logic in the dust. Instead, it's gore, gore and guess what? More gore. Perfect for the opening kickoff of an otherwise bland weekend.

Next up was Rising Son: The Legend Of Christian Hosoi. After seeing the Gator documentary, I had fairly high hopes for this one but it seemed like most of this movie focused on how many chicks Hosoi got back in the day. It had plenty of rad retro skateboard footage of the old Vans and Del Mar competitions but didn't really get into his drug addiction until well towards the end. Also, the director waited until the very end to barely scrape the surface of his newfound Christianity. It felt top heavy, maybe due to our culture's insatiable appetite for dirt, something I am guilty of in this case. Overall, it was OK but kind of a let down compared to the Gator documentary.

Finally, Sideways with Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden-Church. In the past few years, I've become a bigger and bigger fan of Paul Giamatti. He is the antithesis of Hollywood hunk and leading male, not to mention a super talented actor. He has perfected the art of playing quirky characters who are down on their luck but still manage to retain a seriously complex and interesting personality. Every character he has ever portrayed has been believable and this one is no different. In addition, Thomas Haden-Church plays his counterpart very well, being the washed-up celebrity jerk to perfection. In the end, it was just nice to see a fairly mainstream movie starring not-so mainstream actors. It was one of those rare comedies where the funny parts are not so blatant but rather there are numerous moments that could be funny, depending on your sense of humor, leaving the humor up to the viewer rather than insulting people by showing them where the jokes are. Sideways will be going into my personal collection sooner rather than later.

One last thing, I think HBO's Flight Of The Conchords is seriously the funniest thing on TV besides The Office. So brilliant, quirky and worthy of the many tears I have shed watching it the past few weeks. BRAVO!