Good Start @ MindSay



 

   
June 30th
Good morning, 23.
On the calendar, you're already here, even though TECHNICALLY, you don't start until 6:25 tonight.  I guess that means I'm spending today in the weird 'end of 22/start of 23' limbo, the same one that happens every year during the daytime hours.
I'm hoping you're just a little bit better than 22.  I'm hoping that having a truly adult age to attach to the question, "how old are you?" (even if I'll ALWAYS act like I'm 7), some adult things will happen.  Maybe I'll be comfortable being Emily, whoever she is, and relax a little bit.  Maybe I'll keep my promise to not stay in every weekend.  Maybe I'll finally get the nerve to meet a guy and pursue something with it.  Maybe I'll believe I'm right sometimes, and not back down.  Maybe I'll really get to make a difference in somebody's life.  There are a lot of maybes floating around right now; I think that's a good thing.
So....
Welcome.



the song I WANTED to put here, "Jessie's Song (Optimistic Story)" isn't a track listing, but you can imagine...
http://elanaarian.com/listen.html 
 
 
   
 

Be careful

"The smarter a man is the more he needs God to protect him from
thinking he knows everything."
--George Webb, PIMA

A spiritual person needs to be careful. The more confident we are,
the more likely our egos will get us into trouble. It's relatively
easy to become self-righteous. We start to think we are teachers and
others are students. We start to judge others. We start, very
subtlely at first, to play God. After a while we really get good at
it. This is very dangerous. We need to remind ourselves, we are here
to do God's will. We need to pray every morning. Each day we need to
check in with God to see what He would have us do. At night we need


to spend time with God and review our day. By doing these things, we
will stay on track.

My Creator, guide my path and show me how to correct my life.

 
 
 

   
Not much but it's a start
Last night went well, not super great, but well. We started talking when we sat down to dinner, at this steakhouse. She didn't say yes, but then again she didn't say no either, it was more of a maybe, but a good one. For as long as I have known her she hasn't really been the type to lie to me and I trust her, and her I am still praying to God for a miracle, I love Candace to death and all I want to be is the man in her life making her happy. Is that too much to ask?
 
 
   
 

Felling good

Im slowly getting some sweet rough draft drawings done and soon i hope to be back in my game with my manga series.  I feel somtimes at unease before i start drawing and then after the first drawing(regardless good/bad) I gues its like an uneasy wall to climb over before i start feeling better.

 

Well later on today i will be going to my yugioh club practice day..but i ponder how many more of these i will have....:( I learned the store isnt doing good in buissness. There now lossing money. The yugioh players are doing great but without other store support for other games it may soon become another loss to my comunity.

 

No matter what my club will still be here but without a store it would get once again lonely for certain players.

 

Im going though to the sneak preview in November and hopefully...get some more players to be encouraged enough to give us a try. Im willing to do whatever we can to put hard work into making this possable.

 

The words of my past store owner still ring in my head all the time.

 

"Just you watch Walter..in months cardstores will fold because of the internet."

 

Those words are becoming more and more true. I've learned another great store near my comunity is folding up. Good god...Sometimes i do truly feel that Greed gets the better of people then what truly makes something what it is. Or quick ways to solve a solution without handling all the angles.

Without stores that support a certain game...theres no point purchasing the products right? Just common sense.

 

Thats all for now. ill ttyl

 
 
 

   
Too of much of too little coming too late

  I am at one of those points where I have so much to say, but no motivation to say it.  Life has been a constant state of flux since I moved out, and my emotions aren't helping to ground me.  Neither is Juice or his life and his entanglements with my life.  He's like the mob...just when I think I'm out, he keeps pulling me back in.

 

All I have the energy to say right now is that everything in my life is at odds.  Just when I feel like I am turning a corner and good things should start coming (or good times should start rolling) something happens and WHAM! (not the 80's group.  Shit...now I've got Wake me up before you go go stuck in my head!) I'm back flat on my ass at square one.

 

I just need one good thing...one leg up...and I'm sure I can drag myself to a better place.  

 

I am sick of this fucking scene man.  I wish I had those red shoes so I could click myself over the rainbow.

 

I wish for so many things.

 
 
   
 

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