Good People @ MindSay 
pretty people
A good introduction
Well, I'm not sure how to begin. I never really am. and i'm a bit wary of admitting to much about myself. I've been burned recently by a few people who were supposed to care.
First, Everyone calls me Turtle. Its for several reasons. The turtle is my totem animal. I have many "turtle " quallities. I am slow, but persistant and steady. I don't give up, but will dig in and wait for better things to happen. I have a good respect for turtles.
Second. I am definitely my own person. I do what seems right for me to do at the time,even if it's NOT what everyone else might do. I also give my opinion, whether its wanted or not, and I will say what's on my mind. Unfiltered. I am who I am, and I really don't see why I should change that for any reason.And that can cause issues. Some people prefer getting filters.
I am one of those Lucky people who has TWO families. An adopted family and my biological family. I am in contact with both, and sometimes it causes problems, since they don't really get along. My foster/adoptive family are good people at heart though. I think they just don't want to see me hurt.
I am disabled now. And developed neurological issues and some mental illnesses. I also have heart problems.unfortunately, I used to self-medicate. And I became addicted to Meth. Its not something I'm proud of, but its not something that I hide, either.
I am engaged to the love of my life! We will be married in November.
I am active in church. At my current church I play softball. (well I occasionally keep the record books, but good enough for now)I also fold the bullitens every single Sunday. (except this week and next, since i'm on vacation)I also volunteered for VBS. Thats where I was when I took my profile pic. It said "ALOHA" but only HA came out in the photo. That kinda says it all.
I always feel like so many adults take themselves way too seriously.
I am back at school, working to get my teaching credential for CA. That was something I could never understand I can teach in Oregon but not in California.Hmm.
First, Everyone calls me Turtle. Its for several reasons. The turtle is my totem animal. I have many "turtle " quallities. I am slow, but persistant and steady. I don't give up, but will dig in and wait for better things to happen. I have a good respect for turtles.
Second. I am definitely my own person. I do what seems right for me to do at the time,even if it's NOT what everyone else might do. I also give my opinion, whether its wanted or not, and I will say what's on my mind. Unfiltered. I am who I am, and I really don't see why I should change that for any reason.And that can cause issues. Some people prefer getting filters.
I am one of those Lucky people who has TWO families. An adopted family and my biological family. I am in contact with both, and sometimes it causes problems, since they don't really get along. My foster/adoptive family are good people at heart though. I think they just don't want to see me hurt.
I am disabled now. And developed neurological issues and some mental illnesses. I also have heart problems.unfortunately, I used to self-medicate. And I became addicted to Meth. Its not something I'm proud of, but its not something that I hide, either.
I am engaged to the love of my life! We will be married in November.
I am active in church. At my current church I play softball. (well I occasionally keep the record books, but good enough for now)I also fold the bullitens every single Sunday. (except this week and next, since i'm on vacation)I also volunteered for VBS. Thats where I was when I took my profile pic. It said "ALOHA" but only HA came out in the photo. That kinda says it all.
I always feel like so many adults take themselves way too seriously.
I am back at school, working to get my teaching credential for CA. That was something I could never understand I can teach in Oregon but not in California.Hmm.
Thoughts...and karma?
Well as tough and as busy this last week has been I've managed to do a lot of reading, walking, and bonding with friends. I haven't gotten done with any of my laundry tho, my hamper is now overflowing with more clothes than there is in my closet.
I've also been pondering over something many of us have heard. That good things happen to good people. Well it's kind of always been quite the opposite for me and for the people that I know. I'm not sure I believe in "good people" or "bad people". I think that everyone is good, it's just that some people have bad intentions. Or they simply just get bored with the way things are going and the new things they try lead them to a new high that aren't always the best.
I know Its been a minute!
Howdy Howdy all!
I know, I know it has been forever since you heard from yours truly and for that I am sorry. I will say that I have missed blogging a little. I really miss reading everyone's thoughts and such the most. I have been in-cog-Negro (yes I still think that is funny Myclette ) because I have been working some crazy lovely hours at the Bookstore as the Merchandise Manager and let me tell you the book signings alone are enough to make you rip out your hair. The authors range from extremely nice and independent (they come equipped and ready to sell their books rather than just sitting there waiting for people to spontaneously become interested in their take on the great American novel) to the lousy ones who are so dull that people pass by their table and nod off unexpectedly or they are so abrupt that folks literally block their faces in anticipation of a slap.
Anyway, since my readership has dwindled due to my own absentia I suppose I am more free to just write without constraint.
It was not my intention to take such a long hiatus but life outside of these cyber-walls beckoned and I had no choice but to answer the call.
My dream of living the writing life is being realized and I have been spending countless hours of my life submerged in that reality.
The good news is that with all of the work and research and sweat that comes with that life I still know unequivocally and without a doubt that it is the life I want.
Better news is that the shell I wore for so long has dissolved under the solvent of my new existence.
Contentment is a hard word for me to use in connection with my life sometimes. Not only because it seems so elusive sometimes (what with me feeling as though I never have enough of what I want) but because it signals the apex or phoenix of good things, good times and good people to come. So no I wont say that I am content in the sense that I have all that I want or need. I will say that swimming through my own psyche and acknowledging who I am has brought me a measure of spiritual and emotional contentment. For that I have to be eternally grateful to the world around me that has allowed me to slow down and find myself in the great big show that is ME.
I know this may seem like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo to some but to others it will be a mirror of their own thoughts and emotions.
So here I am, a published writer (short stories in small magazines right now but keep your eyes peeled for the Sovereign Chronicles), a good person with big heart and honest nature; a flawed individual, unafraid to admit the wrongs I have done and the people I have hurt. In turn I have forgiven a number of people who have hurt me. I can honestly say that I have let it all go.
Dont get me wrong I committed some acts of revenge in the beginning and oh how those acts will affect those people! I am not proud of my behavior and I wont even say that I wish I had not done it. I will say that I wish I had been a better person then and better equipped to deal with what had been dealt to me, but at the time I most assuredly wasn't. So I took a break and looked completely at who I used to be and who I had become and here I am.
But ultimately I didn't compromise my morals, I stayed true to those I committed myself to and most importantly I did not Settle for what I thought was the best I could do--thinking back now I cant even remotely believe that I was going to stop where I was now that I am here...whew! Talk about dodging bullets!
Anyway I am going to be back to writing my healthy living nonsense over here at The House of Environgirl and giving my 2 cents on the ways of the world and for anyone who stumbles over here I would like to say that you are welcome and if you say howdy I will most certainly say howdy back!
Be safe be true and honor your commitments, Karma will let you know what they are!
Goddess Bless
I know, I know it has been forever since you heard from yours truly and for that I am sorry. I will say that I have missed blogging a little. I really miss reading everyone's thoughts and such the most. I have been in-cog-Negro (yes I still think that is funny Myclette ) because I have been working some crazy lovely hours at the Bookstore as the Merchandise Manager and let me tell you the book signings alone are enough to make you rip out your hair. The authors range from extremely nice and independent (they come equipped and ready to sell their books rather than just sitting there waiting for people to spontaneously become interested in their take on the great American novel) to the lousy ones who are so dull that people pass by their table and nod off unexpectedly or they are so abrupt that folks literally block their faces in anticipation of a slap.
Anyway, since my readership has dwindled due to my own absentia I suppose I am more free to just write without constraint.
It was not my intention to take such a long hiatus but life outside of these cyber-walls beckoned and I had no choice but to answer the call.
My dream of living the writing life is being realized and I have been spending countless hours of my life submerged in that reality.
The good news is that with all of the work and research and sweat that comes with that life I still know unequivocally and without a doubt that it is the life I want.
Better news is that the shell I wore for so long has dissolved under the solvent of my new existence.
Contentment is a hard word for me to use in connection with my life sometimes. Not only because it seems so elusive sometimes (what with me feeling as though I never have enough of what I want) but because it signals the apex or phoenix of good things, good times and good people to come. So no I wont say that I am content in the sense that I have all that I want or need. I will say that swimming through my own psyche and acknowledging who I am has brought me a measure of spiritual and emotional contentment. For that I have to be eternally grateful to the world around me that has allowed me to slow down and find myself in the great big show that is ME.
I know this may seem like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo to some but to others it will be a mirror of their own thoughts and emotions.
So here I am, a published writer (short stories in small magazines right now but keep your eyes peeled for the Sovereign Chronicles), a good person with big heart and honest nature; a flawed individual, unafraid to admit the wrongs I have done and the people I have hurt. In turn I have forgiven a number of people who have hurt me. I can honestly say that I have let it all go.
Dont get me wrong I committed some acts of revenge in the beginning and oh how those acts will affect those people! I am not proud of my behavior and I wont even say that I wish I had not done it. I will say that I wish I had been a better person then and better equipped to deal with what had been dealt to me, but at the time I most assuredly wasn't. So I took a break and looked completely at who I used to be and who I had become and here I am.
But ultimately I didn't compromise my morals, I stayed true to those I committed myself to and most importantly I did not Settle for what I thought was the best I could do--thinking back now I cant even remotely believe that I was going to stop where I was now that I am here...whew! Talk about dodging bullets!
Anyway I am going to be back to writing my healthy living nonsense over here at The House of Environgirl and giving my 2 cents on the ways of the world and for anyone who stumbles over here I would like to say that you are welcome and if you say howdy I will most certainly say howdy back!
Be safe be true and honor your commitments, Karma will let you know what they are!
Goddess Bless
But Soon Enough You're Gonna Think Of Me And How I Used To Be...
Well, I have no clue. I don't t even know what to think. Nothing seems to be the way it used to be.
- Two years ago, I was really close to my parents. Now, I'd do anything to get away from them, and I do everything I can to avoid talking to them.
- Two years ago, I had a few reallyy good friends here. Now I have maybe one person that I consider kinda a friend. Most of the people I consider really good friends are the people I will probably never get to see again.
- Two years ago, I cared way too much about what people thought of me. Now, I just don't give a fuck. I've just given up on trying to get other people to think I'm not just that weird chick that sits by herself, crying, and trying to hide all her problems.
- Two years ago, there would of been no way in hell I would of talked to people I didn't know. Now, not only do I talk to people I don't know, I also scream, hug, and tackle people I don't know. And I love it.
- Two years ago, I didn't know anything outside of Jerseyville. Now, I can't imagine only living for what is in this fucked up town. If this is all I had to live for, I'm pretty sure I would kill myself. There is absolutely nothing here worth living for.
- Two years ago, I was a shy, quiet, little girl. The kind of little munchkin you would find hiding from everyone under the table, talking to herself because no one else would talk to her. Now, I'm the farthest thing from quiet, I'm loud and just say... or scream... whatever's on my mind.If you dont like it, I dont care. and now, instead of hiding under the table, I'm the one thats up on the table singing along with the radio and dancing like a crazy person.
- Two years ago, my "friends" were never there for me when I needed them. Even though I was always there for them. Now, my friends are almost always there for me. If anyone messes with me, they're most likely gonna have to go through my friends first.
- Two years ago, everyone was, for the most part, happy. Now, alot of my friends cut. Almost all of them have told me that they want to die, or that they were thinking about killing themselves at least 3 or 4 times.
- Two years ago, smoking? drinking? All my friends told me they never would. Now, alot of my friends drink, even more smoke. It's disgusting.
- Two years ago, the people I called my friends promised they'd always be there. Now, I can honestly say that all of my friends except one are liars, and horrible friends.
It's kinda sad that I'm just realizing that even though I thought I knew what was going on, I really had no clue. These people I thought I knew, I guess I never really did know them.
the oath
"The Oath of Alexander the Great"
It is my wish, now that the wars are coming to an end, that you should all be happy in peace. From now on let all mortals live as one people, in fellowship for the good of all, see the whole world as your homeland, with laws common to all, where the best will govern regardless of their race. Unlike the narrow minded, I make no distinction between Greeks and Barbarians. The origin of citizens, or the race into which they were born, is of no concern to me, I have only one criterion by which to distinguish them - virtue. For me, any good foreigner is a Greek and any bad Greek is worse than a Barbarian. If disputes ever occur among you, you will not resort to weapons but will solve them in peace. If need be, I shall arbitrate between you. See God not as an autocratic despot, but as the common father of all, and thus your conduct will be like the lives of brothers within the same family. I on my part, see you all as equal whether you are white or dark skinned, and I should like you not simply to be subjects of my commonwealth, but members of it, partners of it. To the best of my ability, I shall strive to do what I have promised.
Keep as a symbol of love this oath which we have taken tonight with our libations.. - Alexander The Great
I came across this when looking through old history class papers. Alexander ruled over 2,200 years ago. He gave this speech after he conquered a good portion of the world he knew (this didn't include the Americas). Personally, I think this oath justifies his wars, and all the conquering he did. He fought in the name of peace, even though that in itself is a contradiction, sometimes you have to fight. Maybe the rulers he faced were unjust, now I'm no historian, but I don't think they all shared his views and would've agreed to create a uniform ruling system for all their countries. He had no personal gain from the wars, just trying to do some good. He had a great dream, but when he died the land he gained was divided and it fell apart. Maybe he couldn't communicate his idea to his people being 300 something B.C.
its been over 2000 years and I'm willing to give it another chance.
It is my wish, now that the wars are coming to an end, that you should all be happy in peace. From now on let all mortals live as one people, in fellowship for the good of all, see the whole world as your homeland, with laws common to all, where the best will govern regardless of their race. Unlike the narrow minded, I make no distinction between Greeks and Barbarians. The origin of citizens, or the race into which they were born, is of no concern to me, I have only one criterion by which to distinguish them - virtue. For me, any good foreigner is a Greek and any bad Greek is worse than a Barbarian. If disputes ever occur among you, you will not resort to weapons but will solve them in peace. If need be, I shall arbitrate between you. See God not as an autocratic despot, but as the common father of all, and thus your conduct will be like the lives of brothers within the same family. I on my part, see you all as equal whether you are white or dark skinned, and I should like you not simply to be subjects of my commonwealth, but members of it, partners of it. To the best of my ability, I shall strive to do what I have promised.
Keep as a symbol of love this oath which we have taken tonight with our libations.. - Alexander The Great
I came across this when looking through old history class papers. Alexander ruled over 2,200 years ago. He gave this speech after he conquered a good portion of the world he knew (this didn't include the Americas). Personally, I think this oath justifies his wars, and all the conquering he did. He fought in the name of peace, even though that in itself is a contradiction, sometimes you have to fight. Maybe the rulers he faced were unjust, now I'm no historian, but I don't think they all shared his views and would've agreed to create a uniform ruling system for all their countries. He had no personal gain from the wars, just trying to do some good. He had a great dream, but when he died the land he gained was divided and it fell apart. Maybe he couldn't communicate his idea to his people being 300 something B.C.
its been over 2000 years and I'm willing to give it another chance.
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