Goldfish @ MindSay

I understand the food chain .... really I do ..... BUT .....

THERE IS A WATER SNAKE EATING MY GOLDFISH ....... and I am not in the least happy about it. 

Dave walked out to the fish pond after cleaning it a bit ago and sees a fish tail slithering over the rocks ..... he's like shit ..... fish out of the pond ..... so he grabs at the tail ..... and it pulls out of his hand and he flips out .... he's tears through the rocks and sees the fist tail again and moved one more rock and there he was ..... with my gold fish half way down his throat ..... Dave grabbed the fish and the snake got away ..... the fish is shaken .... not swimming so good.  And I'm pissed off ..... I'm gonna kill me a water snake I am ..... every hole in the rock pile has a mouse trap in it ..... bastard ...... he asked for it ..... it's war ..... I'VE BEEN WONDERING WHERE THE HELL MY FISH WERE GOING  ..... now I know.

I got to see two of my girls today.  It was so awesome.  When they saw me they both screamed and came running and about knocked me over.  I didn't cry .... I stayed happy.  Boss lady was with two other church ladies who were walking around blessing the house and the property ..... because boss lady feels the devil had possessed the house and the property. Whatever ...... she left me alone with the girls for about an hour ..... and I just got to laugh and talk and yell at them ...... little shits.  I told them if they expected to see me once a week they had to start behaving and stop acting like little hellions ..... I made them promise to behave at least till next Thursday ..... I go over on Wednesday night. 

A list of what happened at the house since I've been gone:

1.  Stole VODKA ..... two bottles ..... one girl ended up in the hospital OD'd due to mixing with psychotropic  meds.

2.  One girl attempted suicide by drinking nail polish remover.  She was in the hospital for two days.

3.  Set the field on fire with an un-extinguished cigarette.

4.  One girl sent to hospital when another hits her closed fist upside the head.  Knocks her out.

5.  The knock out queen sent to juvie.

6.  The suicide girl throws rock through house window and van window .... taken away by police and removed permanently from the house.

7.  One girl tells staff she has a new NA sponsor and gets the phone number approved to her boyfriend .... a week goes by before anyone catches her.


I'm so sure there was more but that is all I can think of right now.  I get to see all of them on Wednesday .... and that will be cool.  I still have a chance to make these girls see that they are screwing up.  I told them today I would not give up on them.  And they weren't going to make me go away ..... they were stuck with me. 

We hugged ..... said our I love yous ...... and after an hour and a half visit .... I was off.  Boss lady hugged me as I left.  I thanked her again for allowing me to see the girls and to be able to spend time with them.  I really am beyond grateful.

I finished my grant class ..... passed my final last night.  Now I just need to start working on a grant .... may take some time ..... but hopefully I can get one funded.

Well have a good night all ...... AMANDA AND JOSH ..... CONGRATULATIONS !!!  I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU TWO TOMORROW AS I VISIT WITH MY MINDSAY VISITORS ..... JEN AND JUSTIN.  A big weekend for all ......

Peace.  J.

I was just spammed by Jesus. The subject line was "and on the tabernacle of the city, bring me a lamb." Wow. I've not been spammed by the holy one himself before. I guess that means we're all sitting pretty well if Jesus has time to send out spam.  Or do you think he has someone to help him out with that?

I have five goldfish now: Adolf, Hector, Hermes,Otto, and Bruiser. They're normal as far as goldfish go. They swim and splash and sleep and eat (a lot). They don't seem to remember much which, I hear is pretty normal for a goldfish. They all have their own little personalities. Day to day, the seem to exhibit pretty standard goldfish behavior. Except for Hector. He likes to stick his head to the filter for extended periods of time. I'm really not sure why. Ihave several theories on this. Theory #1 he meditates.  Theory #2 it feels good. And Theory #3 he's just a stupid goldfish and doesn't know any better. I have attempted to take a picture of this, but when ever I go near the tank they assume it's feeding time and act like big fat fatties.

I'll keep working on this.

Every other week, I'm in the church nursery. We have the Giraffe room, the Zebra room, and the Lion room - the Giraffes are the youngest.

I've been in the Zebra room a lot. I'm kind of a new addition to the team, so Tami's been just putting me in where they need another person. I love these kids, they're absolutely great.

They're at that age where talking is kind of happening, walking's common, falling down is common. I always get the impression that half of them are blonde girls. There aren't any Caucasian brunettes in here for girls. But they're so sweet.

I do my spiffy card-swipe thing, come in, kick off my shoes (I've learned to put them up on the counter, because anything on the floor is fair game for the kids), and plunk down on the floor. Just watching everything around me. Someone usually comes by in a minute or so to show me something cool - today it was A- with two blocks. Scootch over to the box of blocks, haul half of them out.

Play for awhile, get up whenever another one gets checked in, bring them over to play. They're nearly always crying when Mommy or Daddy leaves, so it's kind of a game to see how quickly we can get their attention span on something new. There's a lot of toys, and quite a few other kids (though they're not really at the age of 'playing together' all that much), and generally it doesn't take long.

I know this is bad, but whenever one of the kids is crying, I pick them up. I love holding them, just kind of rocking and talking. And I'm a sucker for whoever comes over to me and clearly indicates that they want up.

Every week, someone decides that I'm going to be their buddy for the day. I have no idea how this decision is made, it just happens. This week, it was B-. She hadn't been there the week before, don't know if she's new. I'd been playing with blocks with A-, she got dropped off, cried briefly, found new fascination in the blocks. Frustrated F-, she'd been trying to put everything away. Some of the kids have worked out that picking up merits praise, and they like helping. So, they'll try to put away all the blocks in their box...ten minutes after arriving.

Really, the only reason she frustrated F- was because she'd been sitting on the lid for the box. F- shoved her a bit, I had a few words with her (I really don't know how much they understand, but they're pretty good at picking up tones), and coaxed B- to come over to my side of the box. She just plunked down in my lap - I'd been sitting cross-legged...and switched over to a new interest - watching.

It's great when kids do this, especially babies. Once they're old enough to focus their eyes, every single thing you could see is something new and utterly fascinating. They will get their attention grabbed by someone walking by. Table leg. They can stare at a bit of fuzz on the rug, completely absorbed, just exploring this new thing with their eyes.

If you went through raising children backwards, you'd enjoy this business of exploring with their eyes, because once they can pick things up, everything must be explored by touch. And since it's the most sensitive area, everything they pick up has to go straight into their mouths. Doesn't matter what it is - you can get a much better idea of what something is by how it feels in your mouth. And there's absolutely no reasoning with them.

So, B-'s just watching everything around her, scootches back into my lap a bit. One of us (honestly not sure which) just responded with instinct so that she had one hand wrapped around my right index finger, the other around my left thumb, and I'm doing the little rock-bounce thing, stroking her hand with my free thumb. So cute. Just watching everything.

She got up once when W- threw two different balls at us. Balls are the big toy in the nursery. They're very popular - don't ask me why. We have a flag one and a Dora one in the Zebra room. She half-propelled herself out of my lap - meaning that she was sprawled across my leg, reaching for the ball. Bit of help, retrieves the ball, returns to the same position.

Snacktime is great. The kids don't really have a grasp of what's theirs and someone else's. I'm told that when they get a bit older, they'll think everything's theirs. This isn't really the case right now. They'll eat some from their napkin, some from somebody else's, for the most part don't care if anyone else takes from their napkin, because there's no concept of ownership. B- walked off with two sippy cups (she corralled three around herself at the table), didn't fuss at all when one of us tried to get one back from her. I'm starting to think it'd be much simpler to just dump the Goldfish in a pile on the table and let them eat what they want, but that's got its own problems.

Buddying isn't just hanging out in my lap forever. They totally latch onto you. Everything you do, they want to come with, preferably being held. I'd go to the counter when another little one was getting dropped off, and B- toddles right along beside me, hands on my leg when I stand still, indicating that she wants up. If I'm holding anyone else, she absolutely MUST be held, too.

It's rather interesting to hold two 18-month-olds at the same time. They have little interest in each other, just watching everything around them. Lions are a bit heavier than Zebras, I'm waiting to see how that goes. S- is one of the boys who's not only still small enough to be picked up, he actually doesn't mind it. He is, however, fascinated by my hair. I have it long, about three inches past my shoulders, and he always picks it up as soon as I have him settled on my hip. Stares at it, fascinated, tugs on it, tries to eat it (I'm discouraging this practice), likes holding it. I'm guessing his mom keeps hers short, or she's blonde and so the color seems strange to him.

B- follows me over to the sink when I'm getting some sort of sanitizer. Wants up again. Have to put her down to clean something - she rather patiently waits with one hand on me, and soon wants up again. Pulls me over to a chair (we have the glider rocking chairs - they're quite nice, and ideal for the nursery).

W-, on the other hand, pushes me where he wants me. I'll go two steps, stop, he pushes again. Not hard, but he's the biggest kid in the Zebra room. It makes me smile.

B- likes to scramble up on things. The snack tables are ideal, and it's difficult to explain to her that she has to stay off them during snacktime. We finally settled for her getting a handful and coming back to me - I'd plunked down cross-legged on the floor about two feet behind her. She'd arrange herself in my lap, eat her Goldfish, get herself up again, retrieve another handful, and return. Repeat process until something more interesting walks by - standard unit of time in the two-year-old's world.

As I'd said before, before the others were done, she decided that one of the glider-rockers across the room was ideal, and toddled off towards it. Unfortunately, the seat's a bit higher than the tables, so she didn't quite make it up, but she made a valiant effort and refused to let go. I think I kind of sighed, but amusedly, picked her up, settled us both in. We read books. Some of the others came up, she traded with E- after a little while.

E- is wonderful. She's very pretty, and rather smart, and completely adores her daddy. She loves being held, so we sit and read the Peter Rabbit rattle books. Read the title, shake the book. Read the first page, shake the book. Read through the rest of the book. She takes the book, takes my hand, puts it firmly into my hand, we start over. I believe we read Jemima Puddle-Duck six times. And she really seems to enjoy it - but as soon as she sees her dad come to pick her up, she slides off and scamper-toddles across the room, "Daddy!" There'll be four other parents in front of him, but she immediately fixates, "Daddy!"

I love this room, and these kids. One of my friends recently said something, suggesting that the notion of a mutual acquaintance of ours ever becoming a mom was a disturbing one. I kind of wonder whether he thinks the same about me, or if anyone does. Fortunately, I don't need to worry about that for years yet, and right now the highlight of my week is plunking down on the floor with a horde of ankle-biters and playing blocks for an hour.

EDIT: I'm sorry. One of the proposed tags for this was, "Eat your kids." Could someone explain this to me?