Gold Star @ MindSay 
By Samantha L. Quigley
American Forces Press Service
Jan. 18, 2008 - For decades, mothers and wives who lost a loved one in combat had a community of others who faced similar feelings to turn to for support. Today, brothers and sisters of those killed in action have a similar support network.
Karen A. Hickman, of Indiana, founded Gold Star Siblings, Inc., so that siblings of deceased servicemembers had someone to lean on who understands what they're going through. "There has never been an organization just for siblings," she said. "Our goal is to become one voice, to reach out and help the ones trying to deal with such a traumatic loss."
That was something she didn't have when her brother was killed while serving in Vietnam.
"When the funeral took place, I felt like an outsider," Hickman said. "I had to grieve alone and where my parents couldn't see me because I had to be strong for them and my younger brother.
"I have never felt so alone," she added.
Gold Star Siblings grew from those feelings of isolation and Hickman's desire to never let another sibling suffer in silence. And while the members of her organization are not professional counselors, they certainly can understand what many siblings are facing today.
"We are just like (them): confused, angry, sad and always wondering, 'Why him or her, and not me? Why was our world turned upside down?'" she said. "We have been there, and everyday the thought is always with us."
Helping each other through grief, in part, means presenting a Gold Star flag to the oldest sibling, Hickman said. If there are other siblings, they receive Gold Star lapel pins.
If the family requests, Gold Star Sibling members also will stay with them during a servicemember's funeral.
Gold Star Siblings is a new supporter of America Supports You, a Defense Department program connecting citizens and corporations with military personnel and their families serving at home and abroad.
Hickman said she hopes the affiliation will offer her organization exposure and the networking opportunities to let everyone know she and other Gold Star Siblings are there for those who need their help.
By Linda D. Kozaryn
American Forces Press Service
May 20, 2007 – The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff offered condolences here yesterday to families of fallen servicemembers, personally recognizing their sacrifice to the nation. Marine Gen. Peter Pace made no formal remarks during his visit with about 45 Gold Star family members at Gibson's restaurant. Instead, he and his wife Lynne slowly moved from table to table to personally greet each family member.
Kirk Morris, of Gurnee, Ill., a member of the Gold Star families, organized the event. His son, Marine Pfc. Geoffrey S. Morris, 19, was killed when his vehicle was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade in Ramadi, Iraq, on April 4, 2004.
Morris said there are now 156 Gold Star families in Illinois who all share the loss of a loved one in combat.
After meeting Pace during Memorial Day services last year at Chicago's Eternal Flame, Morris said he was happy to give the Illinois families a chance to meet the nation's highest-ranking military officer. He said he had found the general to be "an exceptionally sensitive and sincere leader, with a whole lot of understanding of what's going on."
"To the general," Morris said, "these men and women that fall are not just names. They're real people. Sometimes you don't get that feeling from a lot of our leaders. With the chairman, you know that he feels each and every one. Every drop of blood shed, the general feels is his."
Jim Frazier, of St. Charles, Ill., who lost his son in combat, said he draws comfort from the Gold Star organization. Air Force Staff Sgt. Jacob Frazier, 24, a Special Forces-trained member of the Illinois National Guard, was killed in a firefight in Afghanistan on March 29, 2003, when his unit was ambushed.
"It's a club that nobody wants to be a member of," Frazier said of the Gold Star families. "People in the general population lose loved ones all the time. Losing a child in war is very difficult. We know when we meet and hug each other, we understand each other."
"Memorial Day is a day for honoring our fallen," Frazier noted. "Unfortunately, for all of our families here, Memorial Day is every day."
Frazier gratefully acknowledged the chairman's visit. "He could have done something else today," he said. "He chose to be here with us."
Wade Kaiser, of Bloomington, Ill, said Pace's visit helped ease some of his family's pain and grief over the loss of their son. Marine Lance Cpl. Adam Kaiser, 19, was killed Dec. 1, 2005, in Fallujah, Iraq.
"For the general to take time out of his busy schedule to meet with us is an honor and a tribute to our son," Kaiser said. "It gives my family a great feeling - a sense of pride. I can't think of many things that would be more of an honor, more of a help to us."
Don and Kate Jansky, of Fox Lake, Ill., lost their son, Army Capt. Benjamin Jansky, 28, southwest of Baghdad on July 27, 2005. The couple said they are new to the Gold Star group, and they're looking forward to getting more involved.
"As we talk to the families," Kate said, "we find that their hearts are open. They give you a sense of belonging. They can relate. I'm sure we'll be able to share our happiness and our sadness as time goes by."
"It's something I think we need, too, because the healing hasn't started," Don said. "The wound is still there."
"I'm very proud that my son served," Don added. "He wanted to serve. He felt God was leading him that way and that's where he was supposed to be. But it's sad because he was a very young man and he left two daughters and a wife."
The Janskys also first met Pace during last year's Memorial Day ceremonies. "I was very surprised at how moved he was," Don noted. "That's a hard thing to have emotions and be able to be tough, too."
Petty Officer 3rd Class Daniel Maher II, of Gurnee, Ill., lost his brother, Marine Lance Cpl. Sean P. Maher, 19, of Grayslake, Ill., on Feb. 2, 2005, as a result of hostile action in Al Anbar province, Iraq.
"He willingly did what he wanted to do. I supported him for it," said Daniel, who is now stationed near his family.
Maher's mother Janet said she finds it very comforting to associate with other Gold Star family members. "They're the only people who get it," she said. "They're the only ones who understand. You can say anything in front of a Gold Star and it makes sense."
Maher affectionately remembered Lynne Pace from last year's Memorial Day service, when the chairman's wife consoled her.
"I couldn't see straight," she recalled. "She was very gracious. She turned my body away from the crowd and just held me. I didn't know who she was. She came out of nowhere. I was very grateful for her thoughtfulness. And I think she was crying harder than I was."
Turning to her toddler grandson, Braydon, who was born nine months to the day after Sean died, Maher smiled and said, "That's our circle of life, and what a joy he is."
Nancy Ebbers, of Bolingbrook, Ill., has lost two sons, both soldiers; Pvt. James Ebbers, 19, died Oct. 14, 2002, in Djibouti, Africa; and Army Spec. Matt Ebbers died in a car accident about three years after returning from Afghanistan in 2002.
Ebbers said the Gold Star families have been very helpful to her. "We get together a couple times a year at least," she said. "I really love meeting with the Gold Star families and hearing their stories. It puts mine in perspective."
Marine Maj. Lance Jackola, recruiting commander for the Chicago area, and Gunnery Sgt. Tim Kirk, a recruiting instructor for prior enlisted Marines, also attended the luncheon meeting.
"It's great that the chairman shows his support to the families, especially in a small, intimate setting where he can actually spend some time and talk, vice a large gathering where he really doesn't have time to sit down and talk to people," Jackola said.
"There are so many different events that he could be a part of, but he chose to come out here," Kirk said. "It's obvious it's very important to him to be here."
Article sponsored by Criminal Justice online leadership; and, law enforcement personnel who have written books.
By Master Sgt. Gerrold Johnson, USA
CHICAGO, Sept. 26, 2006 – The Army and the Marine Corps' top enlisted leaders took part in a poignant Gold Star Mothers Day ceremony at Chicago's Navy Pier on Sept. 24. Sgt. Maj. of the Army Kenneth O. Preston and Sgt. Maj. of the Marine Corps John L. Estrada read the names of 23 servicemembers who have made the ultimate sacrifice in the global war on terrorism. Families of the fallen also were on hand to receive a Gold Star banner from Illinois Lt. Gov. Pat Quinn.
"Our Gold Star Mothers have raised young men and women, heroes, who have held us in the palm of their hands and in their hearts and protected us," Quinn said.
Near the end of the ceremony, families gathered to lay a yellow rose at the base of the service flag of their loved ones. Amid somber music and a tear-filled room, Danuta Kowalik of Des Plaines, Ill., laid her flower at the base of the Marine Corps flag. Her son, Lance Cpl. Jakub Kowalik was killed in Iraq in 2003. This is her fourth annual Gold Star Mothers Day ceremony.
"It gets so hard because you see more people, every single year, there are more of us," she said. "It doesn't get any easier for me, but I feel more for the other moms and families.
"I am like a veteran here. I sit in the back and more and more (new Gold Star Mothers) sit in front of me," Kowalik said.
Sandra Miller of Alsip, Ill., is a Gold Star Mother who also hasn't missed a Gold Star ceremony over the past few years.
Her son, Marine Capt. Adam Miller, was a helicopter pilot who served in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He died during a training exercise in 2004 after returning to Camp Pendleton, Calf.
"For me, it's not about it getting any easier, but more about me sharing my experience with maybe a new mother," she said " It's about how can we, as a state, keep these young men and women's memory alive, and that's why I continue to come here."
"Mothers of fallen servicemembers form an unbreakable bond with each other that strengthens not only the Gold Star Mothers organization, but our entire nation," said Preston, who flew in from Washington to personally offer his condolences.
Preston said he thinks the service today has become a family business, noting that many of the Army's senior leaders also have sons and daughters currently serving in harm's way.
"The majority of the soldiers serving today have a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, brother or sister who has served in the Army," he said. "Soldiers today join for different reasons, but they all have something in common -- the desire to serve a cause bigger than themselves."
Estrada offered words of encouragement in his remarks to the families. Those words are inscribed on the back of his military coin of excellence. "I live by something that says 'perseverance through adversity' so, during those tough times, I ask you to persevere and things will always work out," Estrada said.
He says that he mourns with the families for the losses they have suffered and hopes to someday live in a world without war. "But until then," he went on to say, "take comfort in knowing that your loved ones made a positive difference in this world."
The civilian aide to the Secretary of the Army for Illinois, retired Army Reserve Maj. Gen. John Scully, made three other special Gold Star presentations, during the ceremony. Army Reserve Pvt. 1st Class Justin King lost his battle with cancer in September. A local soldier escorted his mother, Pamela King, to receive her Gold Star banner. And, after 62 years, the families of Capt. Vladimir M. Sasko and 2nd Lt. David Nelson, U.S. Army Air Forces, were presented with Gold Star banners, as well. The Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command recently accounted for these two servicemembers who had been missing since 1944.
(Army Master Sgt. Gerrold Johnson is the chief public affairs NCO for Army Outreach Division - Midwest.)
For Drunkenglishman
He wanted a gold star...so here it is?
Why not drop a line to your Congressional Representative asking them to introduce or support legislation to award the Congressional Gold Star to Marla Ruzicka and Faiz Ali Salim, members of The Campaign for Innocent Victims in Conflict (CIVIC), which Ruzicka founded? They deserve it as much as anyone who has ever received it.
While you're at it, you could also ask the President to award her the Medal of Freedom, but I don't foresee him going for it.
Check out the organization: http://www.civicworldwide.org/
And why not spread the word, too?