Going @ MindSay

I'll just stare out the window for I don't know how long, and time will just pass. Out of mind, out of consciousness. It will leave my lair and go out into the world of absence. It will become nothing. It will be gone forever. And I will be brought back into reality and it will have disappeared. It goes where it goes, and how it slides I'll never know. Where do I go? When I leave my mind and go and slide into nowheres. Is time in my mind or reality? Where does it go, where do I leave to? Where do we all go when we don't know we have gone until we're back?

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this entry is going to let you no a little more about me. I'm 18 years old and just like most of you i too hate life. You see no matter how hard i try to please my parents i can;t and it hurts because the perfect child and that's not me. they all-the-time compare to other teens my age and sometimes i feel like they'd rather have that teen for a kid than me. it's so hard to the dream child they want. Well anyway, I'm sure they'll get over it. i just wanna crawl in a hole and stay there until i get married but i can't do that. I wish there was a way to go back to the orphanage. well there is but it involves abuse or me running away. i have to face my problems. I have 2 Blood brothers and 1 adopted brother. life sucks

 

I love you all Selena Stone

Is that what you thought you were doing? Reaching out to me? WTF.

How can you help me if you don't know what I'm going through? How can you figure out what I'm about unless you give a damn? You can't. That's the whole thing.

I just don't know what you were expecting? Like, am I supposed to ask you out on a date the first time round? Ugh. So confusing.

See: you don't understand what really makes me happy.

You just can't believe me when I try to describe the ecstasy I feel when waves of sound wash over me, with the most difficult of production and the deepest of pulses. I guess you don't get the passion that wells up inside of me, just to watch worlds collide -- kids partying together in the most random of settings, using the flows of the world for their own enjoyment and social readjustment. You don't know how much my heart goes out to the kids who can push themselves to stare into the blackness and somehow come out alive. I mean, if you checked the sublime you wished for me, would it be a visual representation of monetary flows, housing projects, underground economies, and the power of love? You don't know shit about art.

And you know what? That's okay. Because I'm not unhappy.

I just push as hard as I can towards that place I know I need to go. And I'll bring as many people along for the ride as want to join in...

So sit back and enjoy the little thing we call life.

Cash aside, what is a good going away gift for someone going on a mission ship trip as an electrical engineer for two years? Where she will be going to third world countries and rarely having time to get anything.

 

She is only allowed 20 kilos (same as on a flight) so it can't be anything big or weighty and I don't think she'll have access to a lot of luxuries. I'm thinking food might be an idea, because that will only get lesser in weight and dissapear.

 

I was also considering of getting her a boomerang that all her friends could sign saying something like boomerang back to Australia, or whatever, but even that might be too big in weight. Can always cut a card into that shape alongside the gift. It can't be too time consuming either, they work on a schedule.

 

Any ideas?