Goals @ MindSay



 

   
Decisions and reasons.
My thoughts have been overwhelming me these days. And I finally was able to talk out loud, with someone whose opinion I value very much. And even though she didnt tell me what to do or what decision to make, talking to her about still helped me immensely. 

Here is the real truth:

I want to quit school. I want to finish this semester and next, and not go back. And now here are all the reasons behind that:

  • Goals: My goals these days are so very different from when I started school. While I still have goals, it turns out they are much simpler now. I dont want a complicated life, which is all that my life has become now that I am in school/working 2 jobs.
  • I dont want/am not sure that I need a degree. All the classes I have taken thus far have opened my eyes to what the corporate fashion world is really like. I can honestly say that I am 100% positive I never want to work in the fashion/retail industry as a corporate drone. I want to work for myself. I want to do freelance illustration and custom order sewing. From what I have seen, Design is a lot like music business. It seems like it doesnt matter if you have a degree, its more about who you know. I see so many people in that industry who are successful with no degree whatsoever. 
  • I want to start now. Im done waiting tables. I dont think I can last another 2 years doing it. Im ready to spend my time and energy doing things I enjoy.
  • Money: honestly, I dont care about money. It might be very difficult at first to be successful working for myself and support myself. But I really dont have that many bills at the moment. And if Im not in school I can move back in with my Aunt, rent-free. Im not going to quit my job right away, although I might consider getting another one doing something different, but Im not going to be stupid about it. I know I need SOME sort of steady income. 
  • If I decide I want to finish school, I can always go back. And I know, I know, its much harder to go back once you take a break. But Im being honest when I say that I am already completely out of motivation. Its not possible for me to become less motivated than I currently am. And yeah I might not have the money to go back, but I never had any money to begin with and perhaps I never will. 
  • Time: I could already be doing freelance illustration and custom sewing, if only I had more time. Not being in school will give me the time I need for sure. It will also give me time to rest, breathe, do things for myself, enjoy my life, ect ect. All the things I am currently to busy to accomplish. 
Please reply to this if you have any advice for me. This is how Im feeling tonight, right now, but I may of course change my mind or talk myself back out of it. All of this is just to get off of my chest, and may serve as a help/reminder of all my reasons when I decide to talk to my mom about this. 

I just need time to think this through and rest. Rest that is not sleep. But actual rest. 
 
 
   
 

(no subject)

You can't remain shallow while exploring the deep

And expect all the unveiled secrets to keep.

Once the mind is enlightened, some reins must be tightened,

Some things put aside, if these treasures you'd keep.

 

For, the newfound decisions command some revisions,

Some changes in lifestyle, adherence to goals,

Lest a mockery be made of the blessings bestowed

And your path turned away from the golden road.

 

Come sit in the silence and ponder your path.

What would you have yourself learn in this life?

You've wandered the dark road, you've welcomed the glam.

Do you now ask your maker, "Accept who I am"?

 

Or is there a newness for you on the rise?

How will you be viewed through your children's eyes?

Are your ducks in a row, for your challenge to meet?

Will you now and forever refuse to retreat?

 

Say:  it's onward and upward my journey, my goal;

My present and future are in my control;

The guidance and blessings that come from inside

I'll share with the world with joy and with pride.

 

May Glory await as my pathway stays true.

May Honor and Wisdom direct me and you.

Now, let us join forces and new roadways pave,

Making passionate victors of all who would crave...

 

...the keys to the kingdom, the light in the lamp;

Protection forever from the cold and the damp;

the hands of the healer; the warmth of the sun;

the joy of the knowledge life's only begun.

 
 
 

   
Entrepreneurial Leadership
July 23, 2009 (San Dimas, CA) American Heroes Press announced that the co-author of Leadership: Texas Hold ‘em Style, Lieutenant Raymond E. Foster, LAPD (ret.) will be a guest on the Internet-based radio program Ladee 16 discussing entrepreneurial leadership on September 12, 2009 at 4PM Eastern.

Date: September 12, 2009
Time: 4PM Eastern
Listen Live: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ladee16

ABOUT THE PROGRAM
Ladee 16, an internet marketer by profession, hosts a show that showcases entrepreneurs and artists. According to Ladee 16, “It is the goal of this show to promote as many people as possible to help them on their individual paths to their individual goals.”

ABOUT RAYMOND E. FOSTER
Raymond E. Foster was a sworn member of the Los Angeles Police Department for 24 years. He retired in 2003 at the rank of Lieutenant. He holds a bachelor’s from the Union Institute and University in Criminal Justice Management and a Master’s Degree in Public Financial Management from California State University, Fullerton. He has completed his doctoral studies in business research. Raymond is a graduate of the West Point Leadership program and has attended law enforcement, technology and leadership programs such as the National Institute for Justice, Technology Institute, Washington, DC.

Raymond has been a part-time lecturer at California State University, Fullerton and is currently a faculty advisor and chair of the Criminal Justice Program at the Union Institute and University. He has experience teaching upper division courses in law enforcement, public policy, technology and leadership. Raymond is an experienced author who has published numerous articles in a wide range of venues including magazines such as Government Technology, Mobile Government, Airborne Law Enforcement Magazine, and Police One. He has appeared on the History Channel and radio programs in the United States and Europe as subject matter expert in technological applications in law enforcement.

His first book, Police Technology is used in over 100 colleges and universities nationwide. He latest book, Leadership: Texas Hold ‘em Style has been adopted by several universities for course work in leadership; by several civil service organizations and required reading for promotion; and, has been well received in the wider market.

ABOUT THE BOOK
Using poker as analogy for leadership, Captain Andrew Harvey, CPD (ret.), Ed.D. and Lieutenant Raymond E. Foster, LAPD (ret.), MPA found the right mix of practical experience and academic credentials to write a definitive book for leaders. Working together, Harvey and Foster have written Leadership: Texas Hold em Style. Most often leaders find they are given a set of resources people, equipment, funds, experience and a mission. As Foster noted, "You're dealt a certain hand. How you play that hand as a leader determines your success."

More than a book: A fun and entertaining journey through leadership that includes an interactive website to supplement knowledge gained from the book.
Proven and Tested: Not an academic approach to leadership, but rather a road-tested guide that has been developed through 50-years of author experience.
High Impact: Through the use of perspective, reflection, and knowledge, provides information that turns leadership potential into leadership practice.
Ease of Application: Theory is reinforced with real-life experience, which results in accessible and practical tools leaders can put to use immediately.
High Road Approach: Personal character and ethical beliefs are woven into each leadership approach, so leaders do the right thing for the right reasons.
Uses Game of Poker: Rather than a dry approach that is all fact and no flavor, the game of poker is used as a lens through which to view leadership concepts.

CONTACT INFORMATION
Lieutenant Raymond E. Foster, LAPD (ret)
909.599.7530
raymond@hitechcj.com
www.police-writers.com
 
 
   
 

Mid-Year Goals
I made new 6 month goals at the start of the year, and I've actually kept most of them, despite less than ideal conditions...

  • Become mostly or completely independent, financially (YES)
  • Get closer to myself and what I really want (YES)
  • Get Sterilized (Not Yet)
Well, 2/3 is better than usual for me. I'm setting a couple more goals for the rest of the year:

  • Work on getting sterilized
  • Better myself on social anxiety and ineptitude and prevention of downward spirals
  • Get set for college again
  • Get dreadlocks (maybe)
 
 
 

   
Life Philosophy: An Introduction
Lately I've been reconsidering the philosophy behind how I live.  The dumbed down version used to go something like "Do the right thing as much as possible, absorb everything, and don't give up."  Before that, it was "Get your life together so you can freakin' get married and be a dad."

The whole thing has changed again.  I guess a lot of things get rearranged when you're looking at moving and starting a new lifestyle.  The new philosophy can be simplified to "You only get one guaranteed trip through here, so cram as much as possible into it.  Live a minimum of three lives in one lifetime."

That's not all that descriptive though.  It's not like I want to get married three times (or get three divorces), and I don't know that three kids is my minimum to create.  Here's where it comes into play:

I certainly want three times the breadth of experience people usually get.  The general populace (talking townie-lifers with a disinteresting nine-to-five or worse) have these dreams like seeing Ireland, going skiing on a glacier, getting their poetry published in a book through poetry.com, or just getting out of their horrible nine-to-five office jobs.  Those dreams are great steps for some people.  For many it's really more than they can expect to get from the work they put into things, or maybe more than they can get because of insanely difficult starting circumstances.  I'm not knocking that.  I'm just saying I need more.

I've got three careers lined up and by the end of things, I'll have attended five colleges (one community, two state, one ivy league, and if I'm lucky, one foreign) in two states and hopefully the one out of the country.  I'll be working in therapy, in national or global public health, doing research, and writing fiction.  Maybe if I can figure out how, I'll squeeze in a job as a content editor.  I'm working out when and how I'll make it to live in at least one Asian and one European country.  I've already lived East Coast and West Coast, and hopefully after NYC, I'll be shooting out to Colorado or California to therapize.  I've gone skiing (my favorite sport) out west and in Canada.  Next steps are to do it for a full season, going up most weekends with a season pass, and then to hit places in other countries.

I've already had what I count as two major loves in my life.  Women that affected me in ways that changed how I exist day-to-day and that I will always be grateful for even with the damage they might have helped along.  I intend to have at least one more, and I would love to one day find love, get married and have kids. 

I've had some serious surgeries, a couple of near death experiences, built up a series of invaluable scars, and built myself a strong, personal faith rooted in my natural mysticism.  I've had a handful of best friends that were supportive and entertaining.  I've worked with, dated, and befriended some completely insane people.  I've been punched in the head, knocked down stairs, known a man that died because he fell down some stairs, and I've seen people start to lose their minds.  I've taken midnight excursions to the beach and an impromptu trip to see the first black American President get inaugurated.  I've been on the news while getting a speeding ticket.  I pour through insane amounts of music and writing.

I'm collecting all the experience possible for one person to collect while still retaining their sanity.  It's partially because of how much my father and my grandfather have accomplished.  It's partially because anything less would be a waste of time and talent.
 
 
   
 

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