Girls @ MindSay

Why so serious?

It's just after 3 AM.  I've just gotten home from a screening of the Dark Knight, so I'm buzzing a bit and don't really want to sleep.  Heath Ledger's performance lived up to all the hype - the hype before his death and the hype after it.  Haunting.  Not surprising, the character was written brilliantly.  An enigma, playing by his own rules with no care for the schemes of other men.  Anarchist.  No background, no explanation, constantly licking his lips.  Creepy, quiet  and memorably scary.  It was the most impressive comic book movie to date.

Before the movie they showed a trailer for Watchmen.  It looks quite stunning.

I answered a personal ad recently.  No surprise should come to anyone reading this that I'm... unsatisfied with my social life.  I hate to sound like a stereotypcial sex-obsessed male, but I do need to get laid.  For years I thought I wasn't worth anyone's time and now I just think I'm underacheiving.  Not capitalizing on my potential, as they say.  It's funny, because I was only browsing the Craigs List Women Seeking Men section for a laugh, a chuckle at the expense of others' folly.  So then I see this ad, nerd-girl seeks nerd-guy.  Don't like to paint myself as a cliche, but if there's one I fit it's that.  So I dropped her a line trying to by shy and modest and clever, rattling off my nerd credentials.  I haven't heard back and I have no idea whether I ever will.  Ah the love the could have been.  Well I don't know, maybe she's huge or deformed or something, but she seemed very sweet from her suggestions that we could watch random movies, play video games, read comics, go for a drink, do nothing, and relax.  Maybe she's that modest, mysterious type (an attitude as much as a body type) I like so much.  Maybe I'll never know.  What I do know is that I have nothing going on right now, and I'd like to.

I had this dream last night.  After investigating a murder, I met a blind girl at a newsstand.  She was very charming and we hit it off.  I think that sums up even imaginarily how things seem to go.  Not that she'd have to be blind, just that she'd have to not quite be normal.  Boring, I suppose.  Anyway, I got her phone number, but her mentally-handicapped boyfriend didn't seem to like that.  That part was just weird.

Tomorrow is another day during which I will underachieve.  If I set that as a goal, I think I can actually succeed.  It's a funny little puzzle,. but it fits.

Keep on rockin'
-Scott

So recently I actually was able to get my parents to sit down and watch The Golden Compass with me. I was surprised to find out how much my mom actually liked it. I believe it was when Lyra was crossing the ice bridge that she made the comment, "I think it's AWESOME that it's a little girl."

Which got me to thinking. I love the His Dark Materials series, and I've read each book innumerable times, but it never really struck me that the protagonist was female. As I dwelled on this a little more, I realized that there are many strong female leads in the book series. The witches, Mrs. Coulter, Mary, even Atal (who, while not human, is still a girl), and of course Lyra. She's quick-witted, brave, loving and incredibly loyal. In a world of Hannah Montanna and pregnancy pacts, where girls imitate the--let's face it--bitchiness on TV and idealize everything, I think we need a hero like Lyra to follow.

I was once again struck (though not by a smooth criminal, mind you) at how few books actually do feature heroines. Even when there is a girl in the lead, there's usually a guy to help her on the way. Dorothy may have been the hero in the Wizard of Oz, but it still took the help of three (four, if you count the Wizard and five if you count Toto) other guys to help her find her way home. Still, I rather like Dorothy. She didn't just sit back and let the guys do all the work. She helped them out first (getting the Scarecrow off a pole, oiling the Tin Man's joints), but keep in mind that the killings of both Wicked Witches was accidental. Anyway, it's a start. Go Dorothy!

Looking through my list of favorite books while writing this, I couldn't help but notice that the majority of my favorite books have girls as the main characters. More than that, they're kick-ass girls (although Briar was really my favorite from The Circle of Magic and The Circle Opens books). I have read The Book Theif at least twenty times (this is not an overstatment), because I love the way it's written and because I love the main characther, Leisel. This girl has survived through so much, probably more in her fourteen years than I've experienced in my nineteen. Of course, living in Nazi Germany must have something to do with that. I won't say that she's always come out on top, because she hasn't by any means. But she was able to survive everything she had been through.

I'd like to see more books featuring girls like Lyra Silvertonuge, Francie Nolan, Kaye Fierch, Liesel Meminger, Sandry, Daja, Tris, Pocohantus and Mulan. I'd like to see less (a lot less, actually), of Bella Swans, Cinderellas and Snow Whites and any other girl who needs a man beside her to do anything.

I want so see women in fiction stand on their own two feet. I want to see women in real life do the same.

Meeting girls online is probably the most asinine thing I have ever attempted. I don't know if it's good for some people but it's really not for me. That said, boredom and curiosity keep me coming back.

The site that I frequent - which is free, which explains why I signed up in the first place - features the following variety of woman:

-Uber-geek, cool chick who's into video games and other esoteric stuff I go crazy for.  Sometimes she's way into punk or metal, sometimes her musical tastes are more mild or broad like mine.  Usually with dark hair and piercings.
-Sports chick/party girl, usually way too hot for me and with a personality I couldn't stomach if I had to sit down and have a drink with her.
-Really driven, mature go-getter looking for same
-Young moms.

Most often, I contact type 1, get contacted by type 4, and have no interaction with type 2.  Type 3 and I have had a bit of a fling but nothing really material.

Now, when arbitrarily contacting a girl who has no initial desire to meet you - an uphill battle to be sure - what you need is a catchy opener.  Most of the girls specify "Don't just say hey whats up" and the rest just think it.  So I have to actually read the profile (which I was going to anyway) and come up with something witty/intriguing to say based on something they say there.  On the 50/50 chance they reply, I find myself having to lead the conversation.  I ask the question, she gives the straightforward answer and turns it back to me.  Which I guess makes sense because she need not put much effort in because they didn't ask for the conversation (apart from y'know, getting a profile on said website.)

This is, of course, because women are unaccustomed to making the first move.  According to a stat, women make first contact only 20% of the time, and my estimate is that it's all those aforementioned moms.  While I'm good enough when need be in person, I have a really damned tough time being clever and appealing in a first message online.  I get flustered and type stupid shit.  But enough about me.

Anyway, there are a number of crazy-ass observations I have regarding this process, but most of them are too depressing to make decent material.  It's just really frustrating and tough.  At the end of it all, my main problem is that it seems like most of these girls are looking for me...

"I'm looking for someone who's smart and sensitive and not afraid to let me show my goofy/dorky side.  Someone who can make me laugh.  Looks aren't even that important, I think it's more important to have a great personality although obviously there should be some attraction. I'm not here for a one night stand and if you can't spell or have pictures of yourself shirtless please don't even bother."

But anyway.  My frustration with the site boils down to the difficulty a guy like me - who has enough anxiety about meeting girls without having time to double-check spelling - has in actually successfully interacting with these lovely young ladies and not making himself look like a spastic weirdo.

Well maybe some would say I'm a spastic weirdo anyway.  The point is, my self-destructive exposure to this site has really highlighted my general boredom and loneliness, compounded by this frustration.

As always, it comes down to a sighing admission that Scotto wants a girl, but can't seem to get the attention of one, possibly because he's a mentally-degenerating overanalytical fool.

Oh well.  If I was any good with women, I wouldn't have much to write about.

Well, keep on rockin'
-Scott

It sounds like a group of high school girls in Gloucester, Massachusetts have made a pact to all get pregnant and raise their babies together.  Why on Earth teenage girls would WANT to get pregnant is beyond me, but this must be a dream come true for the high school boys.

So I forgot to say, this weekend should be fun.  Tonight I'm hoping to hang out with the girls (Maff, Kim, Mals and who knows who else).  Just do a movie night, hang out, whatever.  Just time out of my house is all I know.  Then I'll be going out with Laura tomorrow night I guess to a bar. lol.  Though I should be at this country concert with my family, but I just don't want to.  I am hoping I can get rid of my ticket.... but yeah it will be my first time going to a bar with just a friend.  Though, we're not like friends, but we are.  It will be our first time hanging out outside of Karma's daycare.  But we've spent a lot of time talking latley.  It's been nice.  She texts me all the time. It's fun. She's been there for me a lot lately with the stuff with Kevin.  And has been the one to probably listen to me the most.  Well other than those that read my blogs. But she plans on moving out of IL in September. So...that will be interesting. Trying not to get too close to her. This whole people moving thing sucks.  Then I have my vacation time coming up July 3-7th. 5 days off!  17th of course is Kevin's birthday. And on the 18th we're going to lunch with my former boss.  So I'm excited for that we haven't seen her since like Feb. So yeah, those are the fun plans for now.