Ghosts @ MindSay

As some of you know, the Kiddo swears a little boy haunts our house. She said he isn't evil or anything, but he's definitely there.  She said she only sees him in the living room -- never in any other part of the house.  Anyway, the other day I was in the kitchen getting a low carb snack when I saw a shadow in my peripheral vision whiz by quickly. It wasn't mine because I was not moving that fast. It scared the bejebus out of me! Then today when the Cocoa Bean was eating her lunch, she was answering "yeah" to somebody who wasn't there.  Let me explain, the Cocoa Bean has learned how to answer questions with either "yeah" or "no".  The Kiddo laughs about it because CB seems to answer "yeah" to every question.  The Kiddo will ask her something like, "Do you like 'Yo Gabba Gabba'?" and the Cocoa Bean will answer "yeah". Then the Kiddo will ask something off the wall like, "Do you like syrup and sardine sandwiches?" and CB will answer, "yeah". 

Today,  while CB was eating her lunch I was playing Bejeweled. All of a sudden I heard the Cocoa Bean saying "yeah", but no one was audibly asking her questions. She said it about two or three times.  Spooky!

• Well shit fire! I haven't posted since April started.  I am really sucking at this pledge to post at least once a week.
  

• The Cocoa Bean is walking and getting into even more trouble. Now she attempts to run away from me when I try to take something from her that she's not supposed to have. She also says "all gone" when she's finished with whatever she's eating.  She's scary smart, too. The other day I couldn't find my glasses and I told her, "Oh no, Ava! Mommy can't find her glasses!"  She lifted up a sheet (apparently I left them in the bed. It's a wonder I didn't break them) and handed them to me. 
  

• I feel like I've been living in Bizarro World lately.  Teachers = greedy union thugs. Cutting education balances the budget, but allowing business to not pay taxes is good for the economy. Pell Grants = The welfare of the 21st century  and People who are making $175,00 are barely making ends meet, yet somehow making $51K + benefits is more than enough for teachers.  What the hell is going on here? 

• So a lot of ya'll know I have a superstitious family. I think it comes from being mixed with Haitian, Irish and Creek Indian. Anyway, the Kiddo swears we have a ghost and she said she's seen him since she was about three (when we moved into this house).  She says it is a little blond boy who's about 4 or 5 years old.  I didn't believe her at first, but she's mentioned him off and on.  As far as I know, nobody has died in this house, but I think some investigation is needed.  She said she usually sees him on holidays and he's always in the living room *cue creepy music*. I asked her to describe him using an online composite sketch program and we came up with this:
  

I'll keep ya'll posted.

Yes I get that its almost four am but seriously, I don't sleep at night.  Never have, probably never will which is fine because I work nights.  Anyways when  I did work, not a whole lot going on spook wise.  There was one incident where it sounded like a pt was coming up to the front desk and me an my nurse were really puzzled cause we could hear someone walking but we couldn't see anyone.  I went to go check on everyone and they were all sleeping.  Kinda interesting. 
My friend randomly showed up at my apartment today.  He tends to call and say he's coming over but this time he called and said he was out front.  I hadn't heard from him in awhile so It was kinda out of the blue.  Unfortunately I'm starting to have slight feelings for this kid, so  I am really wanting him to not do that again for a long time.  Mainly because I know he will never feel the same about me, and secondly he constantly talks about all these girls he likes and after awhile it gets old having him explain the perfect girl for him and knowing I'm not even close.  So, even though he's an amazing friend, I don't really want him coming back soon.  My roommate also like him too ha ha which would make it SOOOOOOOOOO complicated!   But, honestly, if they went out that would be just fine.  She doesn't know I like him though, NOBODY knows, super secret keeper that I am :) But whats annoying is that the friend he always brings over is quite frankly an ass hole and thinks he can just grind up or randomly tackle or try to snuggle with me and I'm really not interested.
  Anyways all my roommies are sleeping so I'm mega bored and its my night off so no chance of being called in.  I watched a few  movies, but that gets mega old.  Maybe I'll find a really good one to entertain myself with. . . doubt it right now but its worth a try. 

So I've decided to turn my blog around, and instead of writing about extremely boring and pointless things, i've decided to write about my experiences with the paranormal.  I normally don't like to talk about it, beacause one, a lot of people will think I'm crazy, and two, some of the things I've expirenced througout my life bring back some bad memories.  I really haven't fully dealt with the bad things quite yet, I don't like looking back on it, but lately, some things have come into play that make me remember or remind me of the expierences and I'm kind of worried that its coming back.  Like I said, I'm going to sound cray nuts, and many people will read this and scoff, but its the truth, and I will stick to it.

I guess it mainly started when I moved into the house I grew up in.  We moved there when I was about three, and yes I actually do remember it god has blessed me with a very long term speratic-like memory.  Its a pretty decent sized house, four bedrooms, two bathrooms, two floors, on a about 1 1/2 acre property.  The first thing I remember is that I would hear people talking, like having a conversation.  Back then I thought it was my mommy and daddy just being loud, and I would go look and want to play with them too, but they would be dead asleep.  I thought that they were telling secrets, so I would get mad when I got back in bed, I would hear it again.   I also remember having an imaginery friend, but nothing that a young kid should imagine.  It would play with me, and kinda follow me around, even to friends houses.  He was never the same looking though, sometimes, when he was nice to me, he would take the form of characters in movies that I would enjoy, other times, he was this dark mass creature that would make these horrible growling sounds when I didn't do what he wanted.  After awhile, and with a few prayers and blessings from my dad, he never showed himself again.  But he would still talk to me, telling me to do things to hurt myself.  My first suicide attempt was at 8, I remember it distinctly, beacause thats when I was baptized.  We had a big dinner, with friends, family, all that kind of thing and I remember playing hide and seek with the cousins, and I went in the back yard where the river was at.  It had a tall bridge over it, and it was the time of year when the river had a really strong current.  I was walking by the bridge, when suddenly saw myself, in my mind, jumping off it and laughing.  I distinclty heard 'looks like fun, do it' from the man, or whatever.  I told him, that it looked cold and he said, 'its not, jump'  we argued back and forth, over and over again he got more angry saying 'JUMP, JUMP, JUMP NOW!"  Finally, beacause he started growling and that scared me, I put my foot on the top, and was going to climb up and jump.  But just as I was about to jump, I looked up and saw a cop car about to drive by.  For some reason back then, cops scared me, so I hopped off and ran home.   Since then that one particular being, or entity hasn't bothered me. 

The thing about my old house, is that, the main, and only road that goes past it is called 'Devils Lane'.  I found this out when I started going to middle school.  The more I thought about it, the more it made sense back then.  I was tormented, nightly, by dark figures, walking, growling, hissing, mingling with each other, in my room.  Sometimes even, pushing, or pulling me off the bed, pinching or scratching me. So I hated sleeping alone, for years this went on.  I would try to get out of bed, but they wouldn't let me, or I psychically couldn't move.  Many times they took the form of my dad, or mom, but they would say horrible things to me, and their faces would morph into something horryfying when they did.  So a lot of the time, in elementary school,(which funnily enough is also haunted lol) , I was scared of my parents, cause I never knew if it was really them or not.  After awhile I started getting really bad depression, cutting on myself, and extremely suicidial.  I look back at it now, and think, what ten or eleven year old wants to kill themselves?  Finally when my parents, felt I wasn't safe, at home, beacause of the sucicide risk they took me to a therapist that felt it would be good if I stayed at an in treatment facility to monitor me, and get me on some medications.  My mom told the doctors there, that I couldn't recognize real people, from what she thought were schizophrenic hallucinations.  Long story short, I was out on medications and went to therapy.  When I got back to the house, it was okay for about a month, but then things started happening again, and I began seeing the dark figures again.  I didn't tell my parents, because frankly I didn't want to go back to the hospital.  So slowly I learned to block it out, and keep it to myself, although they did effect me still on my depression and sucidial thoughts.  Finally maybe a year after my last suicide attempt (overdosed, actually died, but was brought back) my parents decided to move.  The very strange thing was, I was overcome with SO much anger, i've really never been that angry in my life.  I didn't want to leave, at all, I wanted to stay.  I remember being withdrawn, and angry at everybody, and tearful at random times.  I had horrible dreams, that involved me sabatoging the sell of the house, by either lighting the orchard on fire, or even hurting one of my family members so badly, that we wouldn't be able to afford to move.  When the house finally did sell, I refused to pack.  I remember sitting in my closet, without any energy or will power to do anything, and wanting to hit, scratch, bite, anything and everybody.  Yes extremely biazzare behavior for a seventeen year old, but thats what I felt like.   When we moved into our new house, those feelings were still there, but slowly began going away, when I figured out, that one, there was no dark, shadows, evil growling, or hissing in my room, and two, I was starting to feel happy again.  During higschool, I was able to get my CNA certificate and get a job.  The first thing I noticed when getting this job, is that I could sense, spirits.  I think because of what I've grown up with, and maybe even a gift I can sense when they are there.  It didn't bother me, because I knew they were either just minding their own buisness, or just wandering human spirits waiting for loved ones.  Then, I started to work on the unit I work on now.  Different feelings and sensations came into play.  Its never been as intense as it was at my old house, but it feels the same.  Especially in one room.  I tend to hear growling and people calling my  name, I see shadows, and my pts complain of being touched or grabbed, which me and my co-workers have expierenced.  The thing is, the psych unit I work on now, is the one I went to when I was younger.  Kinda ironic right?  It just worries me, that the thing from my house, is also here, maybe it followed me when I came at fourteen?  I haven't quite figured it out yet, but through many experiences, (which I will name later, this post is becoming a novel) it feels likes its challenging me.  A lot of the spirits here, are friendly, but there seems to be an almost underlying evil, I can't quite explain it. . Funnily enough i'm typing this at work right now.  Not much has happened this night shift, other then me being freezing, then really hott, and my hair being pulled, which is a pretty typical night.  So. .  so far so good:) 

Anyways like I said before, this is going to be my paranormal journal, because I still have expierences, to this day.  Thankfully nothing as horrible as my childhood.  But I think I notice things more then other people beacause of my past.  Thankfully some experiecnes are validated with my co-workers seeing, or hearing the same thing too.  If not, I would classify myself as bonkers :)