Games @ MindSay

  So.. I'm basicly about to cry now.. I feel like love is a brutel mistake.. For the selfish.

If so.. Then I'm selfish.. Someone shoot me!!

So I'm in love with this amazing guy.. And I don't talk to him much during the day. If I do at all..

So I basicly call him late at night. Only for a few hours.. Thats all I ask for.. Is a few hours of his time..

He promised me yesterday since he didn't talk that night. That today he'd be all mine..

Well.. now it came about mid-night and I asked him if I could call or whatever..

And hes like I'm playing games. So no.

And I'm just thinking... Games are more important then I am now.. Wow..

I mean great.. I feel so fricking loved.. ._.

I've avoided him before, because I thought he needed space. But when I stopped I promised not to ever do it

again..

So now I'm thinking I should disapear and avoid him again.. But I remembered that I promised not too..

And I'm like.. Well.. I can't run away everytime I feel like he needs space..

So I tell him, " Oh, don't expect to talk to me tomorrow night. "

And hes all like, " Why? "

I reply, " Because I'll be playing DDR all night or SOMETHING. "

and he says " .. Okay>< "

And so I reply, " Haha.. You must be really tired or think I'm a cruel person. "

And he says, " No.. =[ "

And I tell him how hes waay more important then a fricking game.. And stuff. And I asked him.

And I tell him the real reason why I probably won't be able to talk tomorrow. Which is today..

Which is simply because I'm not going to sleep.. And I might pass out late in the day.. So he won't catch me

on that night. And I'm like, " But its nice.. When someone thinks games are more important.. "

And hes says, " Sarah.. >< You are WAY more important. "

And I'm definitely still in disbelief so I'm like, " Mmhmm. "

And I add, " Tonight was nice.. Nice and depressing. "

Then I tell him I'm sorry.

And he says hes Sorry.. Because I think hes realizeing that I feel like utter crap right now because of him.

I said I'd keep my own damned feelings to myself and that its my fault. And if I had in the beginning just ignored my saddness and told him it was okay he can play his games or whatever.. He wouldn't of realized I was feeling sad at all. And that would of made him not feel bad..

So I tell him its okay.. And hes like.. No its not.. and I add that I don't really care.. I told him back when people.. cheated on me.. Or choose other girls over me.. And left me broken hearted. I'd leave notes to my future self.. Knowing that I would heal enough to go into another relationship at some point.. And heres a few examples.. " Remember last time.. It isn't worth it. " And. " Love isn't anything but a beginning of a taste of happiness, with a brutal end. Or a rough slow end.. Much like death or war. And that would never have happened if you wouldn't of been so selfish to long only for the beginning.. "

I AM SELFISH! X_X I have nothing against games and stuff. I love games myself.xD

And I feel like crap with a side dish of unhealthy selfishness realization or something like that.

Then he was like.. I'm going to bed.. Before I cry.. Which I have heard him cry before.. So I know it'd happen. Which means he actually understood where I was standing and on what grounds...

He was like. " I'm sorry! " And trying to rush away.. And then I said, " One more thing.. "

And hes like. " What? " I said, " I love you.. " This got me a moment of silence.. He answered, " I love you too. " And he left and since this was on messager at the time I left him a offline message. " Sweet Dreams.. I hope you know it wouldn't hurt or bother me at all.. If I didn't love or care about you.. "

 

 

MindSay.  I've been with you for a while.  So have thousands of other people.  Thousands more are constantly blogging about what's on their mind.  Or who they think the better candidate for President is.  Or whether they should go to the grocery store today or tomorrow.

Little do we know that that freedom to speak out to others about things.  To share your opinion without censorship could drastically change in the next few years.

http://foureyedmonsters.com/neutrality/

Please watch the video that is on the front of the page linked above and spread awareness by simply reposting the link wherever you think people will be looking.

This is one of many big issues at hand right now.

Dixie currently feels:

 Depressed

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Alright, another full week without blogging.

 

It's been my last week of secondary school.

I sat my final few exams, did my final few revision sessions, and finished off my final piece of coursework. I left on Friday, straight after my last exam, which was Additional Science unit 3.

 

And now, I have two months and two days to do whatever I want! :)

 

I has my final bit of freedom for a while.

And, I'm refusing to get a job, as I keep continually being pressured to.

Screw that, I'm not in desparate need for money. I'm content with all of my current possessions.

 

 

I've done nothing majorly interesting this week - except download about 100 episodes of The Powerpuff Girls. :)

 

Oh, and with a few of them, and some other random videos I stole from YouTube with Vixy Converter, I made some YouTube poops.

 

My first one wasn't great, but my second one was much better - and they're currently on YouTube for you to view. :)

 

 

Today, I've been playing Banjo-Kazooie.

I finished off the last level in the game - but I died before I managed to grab the last four music notes. ...So I have to go through it again and get them all. And the Jinjos.

 

Yeah, and I've also got the hardest level in the game to finish off too - get all the notes in that, but I always die before I get to the last ones!!!

 

 

I've downloaded some more Cannibal Corpse.

My current favourite song is Chambers Of Blood.

 

Unlike most Cannibal Corpse songs, this one has a really recognisable tune to it. :)

 

 

I've just finished off two more boards on Mario Party 4 whilst I sorted out some more music for my iTunes library.

 

I'm going to have another stab at those two levels now. ARGH...

 

First update in here, new to this...so a little bit of what's going on in my mind and life...

Stupid people piss me off, as any of my friend will tell you. I don't mean that they get me a little agitated and I seem a little less friendly for a little while, I mean a good solid idiot-encounter can ruin an otherwise fine day. I know, it seems ignorant/mean/whatever of me to say these things, but it's true, and if I value anything, it's the truth. From the highest echelons of government bureaucracy to grocery store clerks and school teachers.

Heres a prime example of stupidity on a massive scale that simply proves my point, so I believe. Two years ago, I was in summer school (some of you may hear the word hypocrite floating through your brain, but I originally failed due to a reason not dissimilar to the situation I'm about to describe), for computers of all things. Within my school district file, I already had a big red post-it (literally) that said "Be careful with computers", with good reason; I'm a bit of a geek, with the usual geek intelligence and love of pranks.

It was week two, about halfway through the week, when I met another kid in the class who seemed to be at least intelligent enough to have some fun with. After playing a few machine-based pranks on him, he went home and learned some of his own, and used them against me. At this point in time, I didn't understand about escalation and the such (well, I did, but I hadn't take it into account), so this kept up until he finally dropped the network to it's knees. The school techs had no way of fixing it, but they determined that suspicious activity had been generating from our computers and we were both promptly hauled before the principle. Sadly for the other kid, he had evidence on his person that proved he did it, and I went back to class.

Here's the kicker: as I'm in the process of fixing the system, I'm called back and told the other kid ratted on me that I broke it. The one with the evidence on his person, in his handwriting, with every log pointing to his machine, "ratted out" me out. Love the logic, eh? When I challenge the principle's thought process, I got a simple "because I say so, and you shouldn't question it", but my mother (when called to be informed of my 'crime') also asked, and after pushing, got told that I intruded on the network (a detention, not a drop-F), which she in turn challenged, and was told that I (and now, I'm quoting) was " too advanced in the subject for any one teacher to be able to effectively monitor [me], even if they were assigned to watch just [me]."

That's right kids. I took the same class 3 times, because I was too advanced for the teachers. Stunning ain't it?

Anyway, I love that story, its one of those times that ultimately proved that I am the genius that so many people so wrongly believe is mere ego. On to my next topic though. More stupid people and computer things.

The people out there who claim to be "geeks" or (proudly and sadly) "nerds", while actually lacking any geek-like trait of talent, they piss me off beyond a shadow of a doubt. Do you know what Assembly, FORTRAN, and C are? Have you ever played a PnP RPG? Do you still watch cartoons and pirate old t.v. shows because they are funnier than the crap on today? Have you ever said the words "That looks good enough that I might buy it instead of pirating it..."? If not, you aren't making a strong case.

I was talking to my girlfriend today and heard one of her friends, who - by the snippets I'd heard up till then - regarded himself to be a tre posh geek (geeks are never posh, it's why we're geeks. we can be loved and adored, but we are not cool) actually said "my network connection is like 100 megabytes per second and I still download stuff at around a meg..." In that moment, I've never wanted more to have a law that requires a licensing process for computer use. Digressing though - the geek rant shall come later.

Our video-game is making absolutely great progress... that is to say that I've not heard from any of my development team in about a week or so, and I'm hating the DirectX crap I'm having to learn for it, but it's getting done. We have our main character and the world on the grow, as well as a pretty solid idea for the game story flow. Right now, I'm outlining the missions (looking to be 12), and then I'll be on to customizations I guess.

~Mr. Mobius

"I swear to god chachi, call me Morpheus again, and I'm going to bean you with a server! It's Mobius! Moe-bee-us."