Fuck Off @ MindSay

well this sucks...

what else can I say... I totally foraged on leftover treats from the book group, my stomach aches and  I feel degenerate but the bad stuff is gone and tomorrow I can eat rabbit food. I also managed to remove tiles from behind the cook top. demolition is  a great tension relief. this week end I patch and paint. anyone want to come over  and help?

 

oh no am I visually repating myself?

It's been a really long week...wish I could look forward too the weekend...but I have to work the entire damn thing...
*sigh* I do get paid tomorrow though which will be nice...
I'm really down right now...I just went through all the saved e-mails I had and the vast majority of them where from Leif...
And now I have to go try and make it look like I haven't been crying because it's 5 and I have to be to work by 6...
All this crap is just worthless...o.o supremely worthless...and I just told a friend "If you are going to screw up your life then fuck off...you just lost a friend for your stupidity"
And I really don't care that I'm heartless right now...
so don't waste my time telling me I am so...

nice...

So...I'm not exactly in a fabuolous mood...I got yelled at for 'avoiding' my problems?
Can't fix what you can't get too?


I feel like I got ran over by a really big truck and I'm not in the mood for people to antagonize me...

so don't.

It's about 1am, and I've been drinking Jameson since 3pm, so forgive me if this is crass, but...what is the fucking deal with your photography? I mean shit I feel like I'm in the darkroom of my junior year in high school taking it up the ass from some asshole wearing a A&F collared shirt (with the collar poped, of course). I haven't seen such bad work since being stoned first period in Miss. Hyatts class thinking to myself: "Why the fuck is everyone so bad at this photography shit?" It's like "Hey look! I took a photograph of a flower! Now a waterfall! Now a flower, and another flower, and another flower, wait here's a stupid photo of myself that doubles as my myspace profile photo, and then look here's my dog, and here's my cd's and look I've used Microsoft Paint to put a shitty poem ontop of my photograph about how much I'm like the sterotypical 16 year old suburban brat, Someone please take me to prom....please." I'm tired of it. It makes my head hurt, but then I stop wondering why people buy my prints for obsene amounts and why magazines fight over me for next month's editoral. If you think I'm an asshole, you're right. I am an asshole. I'm a total egotystical NYC artist who doesn't give a fuck about your abilities to make a photograph black and white and then use photoshop to make some totally pointless detail color. Nobody gives a flying fuck which petal of the rose is red, or if any of them are. With that I bring you three girls in bikinis in Sodus Point, NY for Vice magazine.

I AM SOOOOO FUCKIN SICK OF CASEY AND HER GOTDAMN ATTITUDE LIKE SHE KNOWS EVERY FUCKIN THING!!!!!! I SWEAR I WANT HER TO HIT ME JUST ONCE SO I CAN'T BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA HER! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT ANYONE THINKS! I AM NOT GETTING ENOUGH PLAY TIME AND I AM BETTER THAN THE CHICKS KEETER IS SUBIN IN BEFORE ME! I'M FUCKIN SICK OF IT! I WANNA QUIT BUT....urgh...it's all I got left. How am I supposed to deal w/ my anger if I don't have soccer? It's all I got and it's causein more problems than it's solvin for me. I'm mood swingin like a muthafucka too! I have had constant PMS for the past 2 months! I haven't had my period for 2 months either. And unless I'm the next Virgin Mary I know I'm not pregnant. So I've either fucked up my diet...am WAY too stressed...or, if it don't come by the end of this month, might have PCOS...treatable...but could be a bitch. I'm just fuckin fed up with all this shit. Everyone is pissin me off lately. Fuckin hate the world. The only thing that makes me feel good is cuttin loose, layin back, and havin fun....and I NEED to do that soon.