Fried Chicken @ MindSay

Have researchers found out why in the hell women eat like truck drivers with a tapeworm when that time of the month comes around?

 

I didn't eat lunch today because I had to run errands right after work.  I came home and ate some leftovers from yesterday because my stomach was growling like pissed off bear.  I was satiated for approximately 20 minutes.  Now I am RAVENOUS! I'm trying to wait until the husband finishes cooking.  He was so excited because he wanted to try frying chicken for the first time. I told him what he needed and how to go about cooking it. Now it is smelling so good that I'm salivating!

I wrote this story a while ago.  It's about a dream I had once and a word that I "invented". For the record, I definitely didn't invent the word "bonerbrain", but I was so proud of my subconscious mind at the time that I told everyone that I did.  Also, this was actually 2 separate dreams.  The one with ZZ Top was one night, and then the big bedroom rave dream was the next night, so it's not entirely true in that sense.  I still think this is a good story, so I fixed it up and posted it here, for the most part unedited.

It's true, man. I invented the word "bonerbrain", and, even better, didn't even do so on purpose. Now for a story.

Some three nights ago, I dreamed I was having a gigantic rave party in my bedroom at 1:00 in the morning. My parents weren't too happy about that, and I'm pretty sure one of the people there told everyone that 3 sex orgies occurred that night, but that's besides the point. Plus, some guy was making fun of Genesis' "Calling all Stations" album, which made me feel bad since I like that album cause I have poor taste in music.

Anyway, as such events were going on, Billy F Gibbons and Dusty Hill of ZZ Top fame magically appeared out of thin air into my room. They whipped out their guitar and bass and started to play for us the complete badassery that is ZZ Top. (I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that if you do not like ZZ Top, you should be banned from Earth since you are probably a fucking idiot) (Um, I don't know why I put that last part in there, it was stupid)

Now the next few details I'm a bit unsure of, but apparently Dusty was doing something to piss Billy off,, because he started calling him a "bonerbrain". It was slightly amusing. Then Billy was all like "Hey man, I need to find the right pitch to sing for this song, play some notes". The bass player played the pitches that Billy was to sing, but he sang "BONERBRAIN" in this crazy swing dancing music voice, like he was that guy from the Cherry Poppin' Daddies. and IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME.

I also had a monstrous 35 foot long erection, but it's ok to dream such things because it's not real.

So anyway, right after that I peed the bed laughing and woke up. Then I went back to my miserable life style of paranoia, social-anxiety, self-loathing, and having Barbara Ann by the Beach Boys stuck in my head ALL FUCKING DAY. But after a while I realized that there was now something great in my life: "Bonerbrain" is like the funniest word ever. But digging even deeper, I thought "You know what? I almost NEVER have heard that word before! I wonder how I thought of that word while I was dreaming!" Going even further, I decided to search my trusty urbandictionary. Guess what I found?

"Bonerbrain ISN'T DEFINED YET!" I invented the word bonerbrain! And I wasn't even trying to! Hahaha I rule.

Actually, I DID google "bonerbrain", and while some results did come up, most of them were either dumbass forums or "social" communities that were probably for trading porn. Those guys don't count because they suck. So yeah, I came up with the best word ever, so start saying it to everyone. You WILL be cool if you do.

That last part was also lame, because, while I was trying to be arrogant, I was doing it in a completely unfunny manner and, as Wesley Willis might say, it "sucked a race horse's dick with Heinz tomato ketchup."

But the rest of the story rocked, and you know it :)

Yesterday, in desparate need for some grease to accelerate my recovery from a wicked hangover, I headed to Kentucky Fried Chicken, hoping for something along the lines of four extra crispy pieces of chicken and some potato wedges.  When I arrived and looked at the menu, I was both confused and horrified by the menu options in front of me.  Every chicken combo includes at most 3 pieces, and in most cases 2.  And not 3 "real" pieces of chicken, platry little thighs and drumsticks.  Not one single combo at KFC includes a breast anymore.  Then you get two sides and a biscuit.  When I inquired about this, I was told I could get chicken by the piece, but the meal I wanted would've come out to $8+.  At that price point, I'd rather be eating at someplace better than KFC.  They also had things like wraps and sandwiches, but I thought that's what McDonald's and Burger King are for ..

So what gives?  It appears KFC is trying to fill people up on cheap, fatty side items instead of tender, juicy fried chicken.  I suppose it makes sense from a business perspective, but I have to imagine not everyone is falling for this scam?  I'm certainly not going to be going back to KFC any time soon ...

hey dinkwad
i once went to a brothel and a truckstop bathroom
and now i have 26 stds
A is for Afluenza pf the genitailia!
B is for Bubonic Balls!
C is for Clamidia!
D is Discharge!
E is for Ewwwwwww what kind of discharge?
F is for Frothy! its a frothy discharge!
G is for Ghonerrea, the green fountain!
H is for Hard-ons now hurt!
I is for Irresitib...I mean Ick!
J is for Jesus its forming new life!
K is for Kentucky fried chicken .....look alike!
L is for Larger than normal but not in the good way, more like the swelling and miscellaneous red lumps large way!
M is for Maybe itl go away!
N is for Nooooo thereeeeeee isssssssssss nooooooooooooooooo cureeeeee!!!!
O is for Obsidian sores!
P is for Penicillian!
Q is for Q-Tip time!
R is for Red Henri!
S is for Syphiliis! ARRRRR!!
T is for Testicle Tuesday!
U is for Urethra Inferno!
V for Vendetta... Vendetta Red!
W is for White Liner!
X is for Xeno-penis!
Y is for Yarrrrr me loins!
Z is for Zamboni!