Forgetful @ MindSay

I think I have a problem.

I seem to forget things...small things or even larger things.

And she just yells and yells.

What am I to do?

There is another thing going on at our school tonight in like 10 minutes for rape survivors and activists that I was considering going to, but I really can't. If I'm good and manage to pull myself away from mindsay then I could actually probably accomplish a lot of work in that time. I was supposed to do my laundry and stuff today, but that plan has kind of fallen apart also. My evenings this week are so up in the air. Later on I'll tell you guys why. I'd say more, but I think just the fact that I'm hoping for it to happen as much as I am has jinxed me. We'll see. I really should start making lists again of the things that I need to do in a day/week because not having them has started to mess me up. I've deffinately been more forgetful. I think the only big outside of class things I need to do are find a place off campus and turn in that other job form, which does require finding my oh so lost passport. I know its in this room somewhere, too. :( The only other thing I have to say is that yes, including quick updates this is my 1600th entry. My goal is to have 2000 by June 30. Don't know why? You'll see...but yeah, so I have a little over two months to write 400 entries. this means I'd have to write like 7 entries a day when you round it. Will I be able to do it? Depends on how often I'm drunk or depressed in that time.

Darning short memory. I can't remember anything. I try to remember to do something, and literally within two seconds, I forget what I tried to remember. Like just then, I stood up to do something and then I walked over to that side of the room and forgot.
AHA! I just remembered. Better do it before I forget.
There we go.
I had crumbs or something in my keyboard, so I was gonna spray it out, and then I got up to get my can of compressed air, and then I forgot when I got over there. I saw a tiny piece of crumb when I was typing and remembered again.

I do have a terrible memory, but fortunately, not as bad as this guy.

I would like to offer my apologies for my previous entry. Although I was discouraged, I do not feel that my update was written in love and it is unacceptable for me to act in a way that is not loving and faithful. In writing that and in conversations that I had (with the person mentioned) I hurt the friend that I felt frustrated by. One hurt does not warrant another. I would like to extend my apologies to everyone to whom I provided a poor example of love, but most of all to my memory disinclined friend who has been kind enough to forgive me for the hurt that I caused them. I asked them if they would like me to remove the previous entry, but they said that anyone who would link it to them had already read it and I thus did not need to. I am sorry that I was not patient when I should have been. I love you and I do not consider you to be a waste of my time.

I feel discouraged. I've tried very hard to help one of my friends to be a better person. When I first started hanging out with them they were bitter, mean, and had a deep-running superiority complex. I have spent so much time and energy, invested so much of myself into them when I could have been helping someone else. When there were other people around who wanted and needed my help, too. Girls in my Bible study, my juniors, my other friends... Sometimes I feel like I just wasted it. Hours of conversations just forgotten. So many important issues discussed so many times and often for very long...and then they just forget why they had decided something. Issues that are so important and I was so proud of them for deciding on, they just forgot what their reasons were and then decided that they actually feel stronger toward the other side of the issue (because they've forgotten all the actual evidence). It's like I have wasted so much of my life trying to help them because it was all pointless. I'm trying to not be frustrated or discouraged, but they have taken some of the enjoyment out of trying to help people for the sake of helping them.

God, I could really use some encouragement right about now. Would You help me out a little bit here, please?