Forever Broken @ MindSay 
walkin' the precipice, this side of hell
and as I recall, ya know I never could tell
just whether you saved me or whether I fell
'cause when I'm with you, I don't wanna eat, sleep, or draw in breath
'cause I'm trapped inbetween certain life and an uncertain cause of death
put the rose in the water, it'll drink till it dies
I'm locked out of the room, where a little girl cries
and the gold chain lies broken under sapphire skies
where you won't find any frogs, and no eagle flies
and all I know is you won't let me touch you until you get high
tell me when did you decide in your mind, somewhere along the line, to switch sides
and so you want me to be completely honest with you...
I feel every ounce of pain that you go through
I'm resigned to my fate as Leiland takes me away
from where the bent curtain rods and the tear-soaked flannel lay
and the packers they carry fudge up from the depths of dismay
thinking if I go back, how long will I stay?
so just do me a favor, don't send me anymore of those stupid emails
'cause it all ends with a stomach tear and bitten fingernails
I see Adam's face, I'm full of bulletholes too
here comes the lord of the land, ya know the rent is due
and ya know there ain't nothin' baby that I wouldn't go through
if I knew I'd spend forever, forever with you
and my spirit will shake, for what I know will always come to pass
when I look in your eyes will I know that our love will always last?
and so I will be completely honest with you...
I want to take every ounce of pain from you
Having your heart truly broken is like nothing ever expierenced. I lay on my back staring blankly at the ceiling. "I'm sorry," I think, "I never meant to hurt you." We were supposed to last forever.
In my head a war has erupted. Half of me wants to end it all, the other half says don't give up. But right now the only thing I think is "I wonder what it would be like to have a bullet pierce my skull, rattle around in my brain and then splatter the remnants on the wall." But of course feeling this way I get to thinking, "There's gonna be fragments of my skull on the walls and floor. And to tell you the truth, I'm not worth the mess."
Whoever said love is an illusion has never had the pleasure of expieriencing a heartbreak. Love is... Fuck, what is it? I know the effects of love. Sitting up late at night waiting for her to call, then falling asleep only to have her call at three in the morning. Mapping out your lives, starting in July of 2009. Even picking out names for the children. These are effects of love. Love is neither solid nor liquid. Hot nor cold. Dry nor wet. Love simply... Is.
For once in my life, I am at a total loss for words. My mind is filled with too much to get out. I want to cry, but can't. I can barely breath. My thoughts are fragments. I feel torn apart. I can't think straight. Can't get you out of my head. I wish I could say, I wish I'd never have met you, but that would be a lie. You gave me more than anyone has ever given. You loved me when no one else had. You listened, you understood. I brought you my bullets and you brought me your love. I am so grateful to have shared this with you.
May God bless you in the future, may your happy times be many. May the wind be always at your back, and the sun on your face. It is said, at love's first touch every man becomes a poet. But now, the poet has died. But mark my words, He will return. I love you. My Beautiful, my One, my Star, My Hannah...