Foreigner @ MindSay

What does it mean when you finish a book really really quickly.  When you had every intention of rationing it out for the long haul.  But noooo, you find yourself devouring every sentence and page and chapter with a hunger you didn't know existed. 

In the end your still hungry for more but satisfied at the same time.  

What does that mean?

So, I’m back in Indiana now. How crazy is that? I arrived to the Indianapolis Airport at almost midnight on December 23. My family was there waiting for me screaming “Run, Run!!!” and so I did. I ran over to see them and was engulfed in hugs. I handed out some early Christmas presents that I had been carrying in my carry on bag, and everyone was happy…and tired. It was almost 6am for me.

The first things I did: I ate at McDonalds during my layover in Detroit and got a coffee at Starbucks. So American. I spoke English and smiled at whomever I pleased, knowing that they wouldn’t hit on me or ask for my phone number, haha. I have to say that my self esteem will probably decrease a lot when I don’t have a million guys whistling at me on the street. I never thought I’d miss that…I spoke in English some more and bought a crappy celebrity gossip magazine in English and read it cover to cover.

The first things I realized: I’m in the States. I’m the same as everyone again. I’m not a foreigner anymore. Indiana is kind of ugly…just farms and highways and big office buildings. My family is amazing and they have been waiting on pins and needles for my return since the day I left for France. It was so good to see them, it really was.

The first things I missed: I called my host mom and talked to her. She told me the house seemed empty without me and that she missed me a lot. I really miss her. I really miss joking around with her, in French, and then giving myself an invisible pat on the back for being able to be funny in another language. I don’t think you realize how nervous I was about that.

I spent Christmas with the family and opened a few presents. Got some coal in my stocking…what a welcoming present.

Anyway, I guess this is the last installment that you will get to read from me. I’m really glad I got to write this blog over the course of the semester. It’s cool for me to go back and remember the things that I’ve done and the progress that I’ve made. I can’t say enough what a positive experience it was for me to learn abroad in France. It was really the chance and experience of a lifetime.

My friends and I were discussing before we all left Montpellier, and we were laughing at how strange it is that you learn so much about yourself while you’re actually trying to learn about the language and culture around you. I think that I’ve changed a lot as a person due to living in a different culture. Being taken out of your comfort zone and being forced to realize your own strengths and weaknesses is quite the eye-opening experience. I know I’m a much better and more complete person for accomplishing all that I have. I know I will return to France one day, hopefully in the near future, and maybe one of you will be living there too. If so, my blog actually meant something.

So here I am! South Hadley, MA (in the middle of the woods) surrounded by nature, a bunch of different species of squirrels and women, loads of women (any guy's dream come true, huh?). At first it may sound scary...I never imagined this experience to be like this in the least...Quite the opposite actually! I thought this would be super American, like any other college but NOooo. It can't be, even if it wanted to be like the rest. This school is old, has traditions and people study a whole lot (did you guys know that this is the second university in the country with the biggest load of homework after Yale?)..it's gotta be good  Academically speaking it is excellent- no doubt about it- I am glad to be here in that sense. On the other hand, there is absolutely nothing to do around here. If you want to go for a walk, shopping, dine out or something other than study or attend Mount Holyoke events you have to go to Northampton (where Smith College is), 35 mins away from here or Amherst (where UMass is), 25 mins away by bus. Distances are inmense to me here..Also, how come buses take up to 5 times longer to reach the same destination a car does? American mysteries I guess. Those little towns are gorgeous, they are very New England-like and both are incredibly charming but that's it, nothing else around here. If you want to go somewhere that resembles a big city you have to go to Boston (1 hr and a half away by car- 3 hours by bus at least). Boston is just gorgeous, interesting... A CITY!!! I miss Madrid sooo much here.

 

 

Aliens , bring with them their foreign living , American basketball shirts , English drinking habits, Indian arrogance , Korean street fighting , Japanese cars, Italian Salvatore, Russian pimps and their wares , HongKongite spendthriftiness , Hip hop , House , Jack Daniels , Tequila - and lure the innocent nouveau riche into their traps. Poor souls not knowing how to adapt to these, readily, try to put whatever local  twist that they can to these foreign invasions. Resulting in imitations. Limitations. Aberrations.

The remainder from this mismatch of cultural exchange stare awestruck at these wonderfully fused monstrosities of cultural fusion, happy in the thought of indigenous independent innovation, marvelling these machinations. The men above them agree with them as they too do not know or do not want to know the truth.
I do not pity them .

I am  D M***** : Secretary General of the United Nations, 6 time Pulitzer Prize Winner, Nobel Prize Nominee for the most eccentric technocrat on the planet award.

 

I am the owner of General Microsoft Warner Universal Cable & Wireless News Corporation. I am the reigning world champion for sleep walking. I can throw spoons at small moving objects with ferocious pace and accuracy. During my lunch breaks, I restore priceless paintings in my attic.

 

I have been on the cover of the Times six times. For relaxation, I bungee jump from the Sydney harbour bridge. On weekends, I teach English to young Asian kids. I run a fleet of commercial transcontinental Hang gliders from my rooftop and I am renowned for frequently circumnavigating the world in a bathtub.

 

I have written 4 books on ‘pencil sharpening’ with my left hand and 23 with my right.  I once airdropped fifty thousand pounds of seafood to hungry piranhas, to distract them from devouring Madagascar.  I enjoy full-contact heavyweight web surfing.

I entice desirable women with the most serene didgeridoo playing.

 

I have stopped a war, instigated a revolution, propagated peace amongst penguins and sea-lions.  Yesterday, I disassembled the Hubble space telescope. I have been known to simultaneously translate Milton to Swahili and Norwegian and I used to cook Fish and Chips on a small island off Hong Kong. I am the king of suspended animation.

 

I take award winning photographs whilst mud wrestling. I once read the Bible, the Koran and the Bhagwat Gita  in a day and found time to commune with the Dalai Lama that evening.  I am an idealist, pacifist and a militant guerrilla interior decorator. I am banned from entering French Polynesia for wearing bright colours.

 

I teach yoga to epileptic elephants, self defence for sparrows and napkin folding to NFL football players. I have swum across the Bering Strait and conquered Mt. Godwin Austin while reading Chaucer. I am a romantic critic, an unkempt perfectionist, and the most feared turkey carver in the world.

 

I have interviewed all the leaders of the world, wrote a 5 line précis on their views and dropped it down the toilet.

I have a dissertation on the use of the word “I” in English.

 

But I'm still techically  considered uneducated.