Forces At Work @ MindSay

Neglected... skimmed out... being a pirate seems to be worse then being a military lacky. Sure, i get respect here in the guild... but my personality and work effort still fits in with my enimies, the united gaian military forces. I mean, im on almost 20/7... if that, as my max becouse the captain forces me to get off the computer and what not.

I just dont know what to do anymore... i already sent 3 packages to the captains door IRL, and he has yet to send me anything. Even a 'thank you' card for the work i did for him, or even a 'go fuck yourself' would work... just something to know that im doing good or bad somewhere in the place. He is to busy with other gaian things outside the guild to even notis me anymore. Joey perposly leaves the guild in silence just to underhandedly give it to me.. but thats not fair, or let alone very tatical. I'd rather a cerimoney of some kind if he wants to give it to me... but then again, he knows i'll never take it anymore becouse of the past when he went and nsapped on me...

I read it every day... him screaming on me that one day... Well, i guess its best to start from the begining then, if your interested.

It started really from the begining, first getting into power by becoming vice captain. He knew i was gyped out fromt he gaian military from my previous work, and thus why he even gave me the spot period. He watched me on his mule account, and knew i'd be a blow agenst the enimy forces if im accepted intot he winged foxes. Corse, im first-mate now... but it still dosnt help the pain. Once day, after weeks of work mindyou... going and hurting myself practiclly by not eating, or sleeping... all i did was work on his dream, his guild--his things. Its only proper that after finishing, you wouldn't mind a little bit of attention... no, not attention... power.... pure power. I wanted to be captain for a few min, becous ei respected him; dispite him giving me everything. I asked three times to have it for a 3-5 min period... and he kept telling me no. I waited till i knew he would be gone an entire day, and i switched ownership over from under his nose. It was about 6 1/2 hours later i went up and got caught. He returned back online unexpectedly and started to scream at me... like, as i stated before, a dying dog... wanting to be shot... in fact, i still want to be shot... right in the heart, so the pain can stop. I read the following conversation every day, every moment i can... sometimes 3 or 4 times... just a sick reminder of why i shouldnt be trusted, or let alone why i can never be captain in the guild... even after all that work.



Aug 26th, 2006=================

Joey: WAKE UP!!!
Natalie: --------!!!
Natalie: but--
Natalie: >_<;;
Natalie: god---dammit
Joey: Thanks a lot...
Joey: Depict me as the bad guy....
Joey: I would've given it to you for a month...
Joey: But you said no, it was too long
Joey: The minute thing seemed stupid
Natalie: i didnt want it for a month
Joey: Now I look like an ass to the Guild
Joey: .... I'm hurt...
Joey: You... of all people...
Joey: Backstab me like this...
Joey: After you were backstabbed by the Military
Natalie: your hurt? You think that i was fine half the time in the guild?
Natalie: and i didnt backstab ya
Joey: Well, you still made me look like an ass
Joey: Why didnt you just say so?
Joey: I mean, I woulda let you take control for a day or two
Natalie: cos i knew you wouldnt listen unless something happened first
Joey: I would have...
Joey: ... You should trust me, Natalie...
Joey: ....
Joey: You could have asked me yesterday
Joey: Not reformat the whole guild, depict me like I'm Sim or Nena, and let me find out...
Natalie: i did, and two min into it you had a heart attack
Joey: It was a joke
Joey: Cant be funny around you anymore
Joey: ...
Joey: You have changed, Nat...
Joey: Sleep isnt doing it for you...
Natalie: .......
Joey: And that's adorable.. you know, the animation, now Nomader and everyone else is probably laughing at me
Joey: I would have allowed it, you know that Natalie...
Joey: I mean, the taking over the guild thing was just a joke. I would have let you do it... you can see it in the chat you posted as well...
Joey: And I aint letting you leave the guild either...
Joey: And if you're ignoring me, that just dandy
Natalie: dont need to talk ot me on a mule ya know
Joey: I know
Joey: But seriously
Joey: Go ahead and take the guild for the day
Natalie: to late
Joey: Oh no it's not!
Natalie: its back the way it was
Joey: ... You got a week
Natalie: no, i got nothing
Joey: Yes you do
Joey: You probably make a better captain anyway
Joey: Just take it
Joey: Cause there sure aint a way in hell I'm leaving till you retake command today
Joey: And continue on till next saturday
Joey: Please?
Natalie: no
Joey: I love you, Natalie. And I wouldnt let my first mate stay upset
Joey: Just take it...
Joey: I wont even be here today
Joey: I admit, I acted way out of line to you
Joey: And that be my fault
Joey: Not yours
Natalie: then whyd you come back anyway
Joey: Wanted to give you command
Joey: ... but apparently you got there before I could
Natalie: liar
Joey: I'm serious
Joey: I mean, if anyone I trust in this guild, its you
Joey: You got the heart for it, and you took all your time on this Guild
Joey: Figured I could cut you some slack today
Joey: I dont care if you call me a liar
Joey: Just take the guild...
Natalie: your lucky i cant quit, damn messages cant let vice captains leave
Joey: Just dont leave
Joey: And please cheer up
Natalie: you keep it, apparently im to good for it....
Joey: No you arent
Joey: Done
Joey: It's under your name for a week
Joey: And you arent gonna change it, understood?
Natalie: just get your teeth fixed already
Joey: Cant
Joey: Dad's at work
Joey: And he took the car
Joey: I'll be out by midday
Joey: Just take it...
Natalie: i refuse...
Joey: ... please...
Joey: I know it means a lot for you
Natalie: and i know of a way to wiggle out of the guild if you keep pressing me about it
Joey: ...
Natalie: if it means a lot then you didnt have to go up and hurt meagain...
Joey: You know what, fuck it. I'll go to another guild
Natalie: fuck you, i'll let the guild die off
Joey: ...
Joey: Why the fuck are we fighting?
Joey: Havent fought like this once...
Natalie: its your ffucking guild, and i wanted the damn leadership for one lousy day
Joey: Then take it
Natalie: to late, im not in the mood any more
Joey: ...
Joey: Please
Natalie: no
Joey: One week
Natalie: how about no, and you drop it
Joey: You know why I'm hurt, right?
Natalie: cos i went up and told my two cents
Joey: No
Natalie: not like you wouldnt have the chance to lay dirt all overme if you could
Joey: That's the point
Joey: I wouldnt
Joey: Even if I DID have the chance, I wouldnt lay dirt over you
Joey: I'm hurt cause I couldnt be trusted
Natalie: well apparently you cant trust me with the damn thing long enough to even have it for 3 min
Joey: I thought you were just kidding around
Joey: So I figured kid around with you
Natalie: asking once is probibly kidding--but i acted on this THREE TIMES
Joey: ...
Joey: I know...
Natalie: ......
Joey: I was stupid to not listen
Joey: I kept thinking you were joking around like the first time
Joey: ... apparently not
Natalie: .....
Joey: I dunno if you'll ever forgive me for this...
Natalie: i already had
Joey: -sniff-
Joey: I'm sorry Natalie... for not listening and letting you have the guild
Joey: Thought I could be better than the idiots at the UGMF... apparently I'm no better than they are
Natalie: you said it, not me
Joey: I know I did
Joey: And I'm terribly sorry, Natalie...
Natalie: .......i was just waiting for that word too. 'sorry'
Joey: I'm a bad captain... bad friend... bad brother
Joey: susan: What's wrong with Joey?
Natalie: i just laid it out on him, no biggy.
Joey: susan: He took it pretty hard...
Natalie: he'll grow out ofi t
Natalie: so? Think im not eather?
Joey: susan: Well, I'm thinking this whole mess is my fault now
Joey: I mean, all I been doing is clouding his judgement
Natalie: iv been held back long enough... besides, god knows howi wanna quit the guild now but gaia apparently dosn't feel the need to fit even that
Joey: Listen... I'll see if I can coax him out...
Natalie: cant do shit
Natalie: dont get involved, it sbetween me and him
Joey: Well, you see, Joey just wants people to trust him
Natalie: and you think i dont? Im a fucking rogue irl
Joey: Think the stress of the last few days made both of you snap at each other
Joey: Thus, in relation, was a very bad thing to happen, and two good friends ended up being enemies in one day
Natalie: i dont see him as an enimy
Natalie: though with how he was at me, id love to see him say that
Joey: Nah
Natalie: if your trying ot think thats going tofix the fact he went up and randomly flipped out on me when i asked for one lousy day then your wrong... cos similarities dosnt count in neglected fields.
Natalie: just cheer him up, cos apparently i cant
Joey: Yeah you can
Joey: Every time he's come in on a bad day, he got on, and I dunno how you did it, but you managed to lighten him up a bit
Natalie: i already went and stated im neglecting the guild, so there... ¬_¬ "Captain" joey is remaining
Natalie: i seriously doubt that
Joey: Doubt it all you want, but it's happened
Natalie: he even admitted it himself its my fault, so why should i even attempt to work on the place anymore
Joey: Looks to me you both pulled a classic misunderstanding
Natalie: no, i understand fully where hes comming from, but apparently the banner didnt get to him
Joey: He didnt know you really wanted the guild, thus making him seem like a bad guy. You took it the wrong way cause he thought both of you were fooling around, and got hurt because you asked him three times for taking over for a bit, and he said no.
Joey: Then you go angry and then end up doing all this, and when he came on to give you the position, he read that, thought it was a backstabbing, and well, you can see where I'm going from this
Natalie: "give". Yea right, he wouldnt do that ¬_¬
Natalie: im a rogue and know damn well that happens when... however i wasnt expecting him to take a mornign check up
Joey: He's a nice guy, Natalie. I mean, that's the only reason he got on today.
Natalie: he just said that for added effect
Natalie: i know he is
Joey: ... But he wasnt even on at seven a.m.
Joey: And that's when he said it
Natalie: neverin the guild ¬_¬
Joey: ... You remember the medal he gave you?
Natalie: keep several copies, why?
Joey: Took him forever to come up with the design
Joey: He figured the ultimate sign of sacrifice for the guild was you
Joey: So, he designed it with a cross in a skeleton key
Natalie: he said he took it from my guardian emblem ¬_¬
Joey: He did
Joey: Where else get the cross and key?
Joey: I dunno if I really should be in the middle of you two friends.
Natalie: you shouldnt. I told ya to bakc out of it and try tonot get involved. Only causes unwanted attention
Natalie: its between me and him, as i said sometime back
Joey: I know, I know
Joey: But you two really need a mediator right about now
Joey: Really hate to see you two in the future at each other's throats
Joey: I mean, going through the touble of the money he's saving to get you hear
Natalie: "was" keyword
Natalie: i gotten screamed at cos of this and kept at it anyway
Joey: I'm sure he'd be the one to visit you if you were barred
Natalie: fucking get myself attacked outside of the guild for him, but ya didnt see me saying any of that
Natalie: same witht he slash ont he chest bit
Joey: Didnt hear that
Natalie: yea, cos i never told him that i actuily got hurt ¬_¬ think im crazy?
Natalie: guy has enough problems just talking to me and this provesit
Joey: He prays a lot as is
Joey: He worries about you, heck, even dedicated entire rosarys to keep you protected
Natalie: .......
Joey: His mom yells at him while he's praying
Joey: And you know the pauses he says is just to be with me?
Natalie: not like im there, but enlighten me
Joey: Quarter of the time, its true
Joey: Most the time, he's either praying, breaking his back over a task, or trying to keep his mother from commiting suicide
Joey: He worries about people, just doesnt want anyone to worry about him. Which is odd, since that sort of sounds like you
Natalie: then that proves hes been lying to me as well. He keeps going up and telln me how it was
Natalie: .....
Natalie: ...........dont try and pull that.....
Joey: You sure you two arent related?
Natalie: hes not a scottish decendent
Joey: Irish blood
Joey: Mostly Mexican, but he's got a Celtic background
Natalie: .......
Natalie: dont change the subject
Joey: Well, in any case, he's out... and his eyes are swollen...
Natalie: think mine wenrt even before this ordeal then somethings wrong
Joey: susan: I'm just gonna put him back on
Joey: susan: You two just talk and settle this
Joey: ...
Natalie: ...
Joey: So...
Joey: Guessing she told you what I do most the time, huh...?
Natalie: shes just blind, it'll pass ¬_¬
Natalie: just sees your figure in the fog, it'll clear eventuily
Joey: ...
Joey: Right now, yours isnt exactly clear either
Natalie: least i have a flashlight
Joey: Heh
Joey: Think I dont?
Natalie: who knows anymore, i told her not to step in
Joey: "By the time the cock crows, you will have denied me three times..."
Joey: St Peter's betrayal to Jesus, was denying him for his own good
Natalie: i know
Joey: Which is what I pulled
Natalie: im a rogue,b ut dosnt mean i still dont read it when i can
Natalie: why so?
Joey: I'm afraid of change
Joey: Remember the dream I told you about when we were on better terms?
Natalie: which one
Natalie: wait--you dream?
Joey: Demons strangling me under water
Natalie: oh that
Natalie: yea i know, so?
Natalie: im the one that translated it
Joey: Exactly
Joey: Now remember what it ment?
Natalie: not really
Joey: Underwater means a want to be in the womb
Joey: instant metamorphasis means a sudden change
Joey: Strangling, I forgot
Joey: Demons mean a darker side of me
Natalie: "To dream that you are being attacked by someone, signifies questions on your character and the need for you to defend yourself. You are feeling stressed, vulnerable and helpless. You may also be faced with difficult changed in your waking life. "
Natalie: http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/searchcsv.pl?search=attack&method=exact&header=symbol
Joey: That's it then
Natalie: what is that sapposed to do with this now?
Joey: Precursor warning of this
Natalie: took long enough...
Joey: I did end up getting muddled up by Susan to see it
Joey: thought it was gonna be something else
Joey: Now I see I AM the badguy
Natalie: ¬_¬ shut it, thats my job
Joey: Well, my turn to take it today
Joey: Like it was for you to take mine
Joey: I'm sorry for hurting you like I did... denying you of something you so clearly deserved
Joey: Though you say you forgive me, I dun doubt that you're gonna hold this grudge against me
Natalie: forget it, its done past and over with
Natalie: i dont hold grudges, its not in the code
Natalie: then im bounded by two codes. Foxes and my job
Natalie: 'thou shalt not lie'
Joey: I broke that code
Joey: Then I cheated you out of the leading position
Joey: Stole your thunder
Natalie: how?
Joey: I lied where I was going this entire time
Natalie: ........
Joey: I cheated you out of it cause I though you were fooling around
Joey: Then I go on today and steal your thunder
Natalie: so you wenrt going to get your teeth fixed
Joey: I am
Natalie: then whatd you lie about
Joey: Telling you that I was with Susan this entire time
Joey: Well, when i went off those times anyway
Joey: Being in that bathroom made me think
Natalie: ......
Joey: You were right
Joey: I failed...
Natalie: failed me, yes... failed the guild, no.
Natalie: your still a heart in the guild, and it cant balence on one person, i pointed that out a hundred times
Joey: ...
Natalie: and thatw as experience talking
Natalie: you better be goingback, cos no one will keep the guild alive then
Natalie: and when did you hava goodmember anyway
Joey: It was an old guild
Natalie: im the only one that showed up, and that was cos at first i planned to use you guys to get back at the ugmf
Joey: Used to be the Gambino Air Force
Joey: ... You ever wonder why Nomader was so bitter at me?
Natalie: i recall you stating "he wants me in the ugmf position" time and time again
Joey: He wanted to show he can do a better job than I could
Natalie: even im not that bad ¬_¬ i just wanted a day to say i got something out of it
Joey: Yeah
Joey: I dont want you ending up like Nomader
Natalie: wont happen
Joey: ... Winged Foxes Forever, huh?
Natalie: always.
Joey: -Hugs tightly-
Natalie: dosnt mean that your leaving though
Joey: Neither are you
Natalie: *hugs back*
Joey: Even if I have to walk all the way to your city to do it
Natalie: we cant anyway, gaia has a ball and chain on us
Joey: Damn you, Gaia!!!
Natalie: have fun making it across teh salt lake desert
Joey: Eh, I'll cross south
Joey: Then go north
Natalie: i was in an AC'd car and was going mad from stairing at the thing
Joey: Go through the Mojave, till I reach the Arizona woods
Natalie: trying to play licence plate when there was no other cars around
Joey: I can survive
Joey: I know what to eat, what not to, where to find water, what to burn
Natalie: more then what i know
Natalie: dosnt matter... i wont be los in any woods anytime soon
Natalie: ad thank godo f it, already reminds me of Exmortis
Natalie: >_<;;
Joey: Oy
Joey: Real mess we made today, huh?
Natalie: i guess.... least nothings broke...
Joey: Thank God
Natalie: ....can we get rid of ambers id yet?
Joey: Please?
Natalie: ....please....
Joey: Yes
Joey: Starting to make me feel funny
Natalie: your the captain.
Joey: Not today
Natalie: your not escaping the guild
Joey: Ment you get the Captain today
Joey: ^position
Natalie: it would mean better if you went and kicked ambers id yourself
Joey: ... Right
Natalie: just gimmie the detales on the demotion adn ban letters
Joey: They wont say anything
Joey: She'll know damn well what I mean
Natalie: already put her name on the blacklist
Joey: Thanks
Joey: Done
Natalie: least now i dont have that cruddy name hoovering over mine anymore
Joey: XD
Natalie: good enough for me
Joey: Good to be back to somewhat normality
Natalie: we're getting there....
Joey: Now for you
Joey: ...
Joey: Well, so much for keeping as a nice guy
Natalie: im not expecting you to make up for anything
Joey: But you're still captain
Natalie: it got attention at least
Natalie: the hell if i am, i dont think so
Joey: Please?
Natalie: im not taking it
Joey: ...
Natalie: i stand my ground here, your the captain
Joey: This is gonna be a LOOONG stay for the both of us
Joey: Sides, I broke the code, the code calls for a new leader
Joey: And you should be it
Natalie: code dosnt state that, and i wont take it
Natalie: and im not changing my mind
Joey: Stubborn as always
Joey: Oh welll
Natalie: and your not?
Natalie: im not taking it
Joey: I know
Joey: We already clarified you wont take it
Joey: ... You get it for your Birthday
Natalie: then dont press it on me anymore
Natalie: well... only if you want... but still dosnt mean im taking the guild
Joey: Well, four months is a long time
Joey: Who knows? Maybe you'll change your mind
Natalie: yea, you get to listen to me keep saying no
Natalie: and youve been watching the emperors new groove
Joey: Eh, same concept
Joey: Cept no one's trying to destroy any villages
Joey: To make a summer getaway, complete with water slide
Natalie: keep in mind that your the mstermind and im the worker, and it cant change
Natalie: becouse i dont know crap about planes
Joey: And I dont know crap about organization
Natalie: or boats... besides where the weak spots are...
Natalie: you think i do?  You should see my room
Joey: I think something's alive in mine!
Joey: Vixy keeps growling at it
Natalie: organised is all the cloaths being in one corner and all the booksin another
Natalie: XD
Joey: I got a specific pile for everything
Joey: Dirty clothing, food garbage, stuff I use, stuff I dont use
Joey: >.>;
Natalie: ...
Natalie: *makes her char drop the finger now*
Joey: Who okayed that anyway?
Natalie: i dont know, but i love it...
Joey: Mods musta got tired of the complaining
Joey: So they invented it for them
Natalie: most people pick the fingerless gloves, wouldnt know
Joey: Still looks funny
Natalie: well whoever okayed it had taiste
Joey: Simple as that
Joey: I forgive ya
Joey: *Noogies*
Natalie: i already trashed that thread in the crew bin so no one else could see it
Natalie: >_<;; gah--!
Joey: Minus Op9, AT, and Sora
Natalie: AT isnt crew...
Joey: Oh
Natalie: i made sure of it, hes still in the ugmf
Joey: That explains the uneasiness
Joey: Thanks Nat
Natalie: ?
Natalie: thanks for what/
Joey: Pulling me out of a slump
Natalie: ....your welcome...?
Joey: ...
Joey: You do know Susan's my cousin, right?
Joey: Not actually going out with her or anything
Natalie: ........
Natalie: you... said...
Joey: Not true
Natalie: but....
Natalie: .........
Joey: .......
Natalie: *jabs eyes out*
Natalie: >_<;;
Joey: AAGH!!!
Joey: -Stick em back in-
Joey: Take it easy!
Joey: Seriously, we didnt do anything
Natalie: all that time you said you were---
Natalie: X_x;;
Joey: Only reason she needed to borrow me was cause she needed to get something for her boyfriend
Natalie: ..........so you can type without looking at your keyboad huh......
Joey: That much I can still do
Natalie: ..........
Joey: ... dun ask
Natalie: i dont plan it.....
Natalie: cos she went along with it.....
Joey: Pfft, you kidding me?
Joey: Glad she defended me, sure
Joey: But she always wants money
Natalie: .........
Joey: ... Yeah, I'm gonna shut up now
Natalie: ......yea.......
Joey: So!
Natalie: *dosnt feel to well now*
Joey: Kinda freaked you out there, huh?
Natalie: no...
Natalie: to much to swollow
Joey: Ah
Joey: Shoulda eased it on you rather than give it you in one go
Natalie: no, best tell me
Natalie: ..........is there anything else?
Natalie: ....lemmie guess... dont see me as a friend....
Natalie: ?
Joey: Nothing else
Natalie: or just calln me that only becouse im married
Joey: No
Joey: I count you as a friend
Joey: Just that, well, it's hard to break old habits
Joey: I dont want anyone worrying over the fact I'm single and such
Natalie: here im the one thats sapposed to lie to you, im the rogue here
Joey: Wow
Joey: Guess we been trying to outrogue each other, though I know who the clear winner is
Joey: You
Natalie: ...natalie, once again.... making valid points.....
Natalie: your the winner if anything... bet susan wasnt even there eather
Natalie: type to much alike
Joey: Ah
Joey: Nah
Joey: She was here
Joey: Took the same typing class
Natalie: v_v
Joey: ... I'm sorry I didnt trust anyone enough to tell the truth...
Joey: Just afraid to hear people worry
Natalie: ....i never worry unless i have a reason to....
Natalie: guess you didnt see that eather
Joey: Nope
Natalie: ........
Joey: Glad I know now
Natalie: *feels like she went back about 20 squares*
Joey: 20?
Joey: Try going back 50
Natalie: i lost count at 8
Joey: Ah
Joey: Well, if we're gonna work together, best we learn to trust each other, huh?
Natalie: i did trust you......
Joey: I trust you
Joey: I know you have reason to question me now
Natalie: not enough for the truth apparently... i took it all down till the susan thing
Joey: Once again, I'm sorry
Joey: Worse leader than Sim
Joey: Cant even tell the truth to his first mate
Natalie: now that am i going to tell erby... she asked if you were taken and i went all out and told her
Joey: I told her already
Natalie: cant go back and call you a lyer
Natalie: meh.... v_v....
Joey: ... I dunno how to make this up to you
Joey: I doubt I can anymore, done more harm than good at this point
Natalie: ..........just keep your word.....
Natalie: ......and just me yourself.... lying or not..... your apparently happier that way....
Joey: Not anymore
Joey: I dunno how good my word is with you anymore
Natalie: you staged that card thing, didnt you...
Joey: What card thing?
Natalie: .....you were honest about the camp hyrule thing wernt you?
Natalie: camp*
Joey: Never staged the cards
Joey: Always had better luck playing them
Joey: The Camp Hyrule, I do have a friend that works at the nintendo offices
Natalie: so long as you were honest about one thing then you shouldnt be so hard on yourself
Joey: Two
Natalie: .....two?
Joey: Also honest about considering you a friend
Natalie: three... unless the adrss was fake
Joey: Nah
Joey: Real
Joey: Now if you want, you can egg my house
Natalie: no, i wont
Joey: ... four
Joey: Offer still stands of the door being open for you
Natalie: i dont want to take that offer for a while.....
Joey: I understand
Natalie: well, you provd you had a fox too
Natalie: and that doll unless you didnt have it
Joey: Doll..?
Natalie: then you shouldnt be so hard on yourself
Joey: What doll?
Natalie: .......the one you said you got at archury?
Joey: Oh
Joey: Yeah, still got Batty
Natalie: then lay off yourself
Joey: Hmm
Natalie: .... so you turned to the three-times thing why?
Joey: eh?
Joey: 3x thing?
Joey: http://i5.tinypic.com/25pgvh4.jpg
Joey: That's me with batty
Joey: Yeah
Natalie: ...he who has been forgiven little loves little....
Natalie: *sighs*
Natalie: ....eli has a bad timing....
Joey: Wow
Joey: What happened?
Natalie: Operation9 Wrote: I think we should have a rogue-o-meter. It would be a group of meters that go up when someone does something rogue-ish. Everyone that shows promise of becoming a rogue-like person will get a meter. What do you think?
Natalie: .....
Joey: Only rogue I want is you
Natalie: v_v thanks.....
Joey: No problem
Natalie: Military strategy: what's easier to spot?
Natalie: An army? Or a single rogue?
Joey: Army
Joey: Also, I gotta get going
Joey: Make sure Op doesnt burn anything down
Natalie: ...always.......
Joey: Winged Foxes Forever?
Natalie: ...........yea....
Joey: Take over for the day
Joey: It'll do you good
Natalie: ....winged foxes forever.....
Natalie: no... im fine.....
Joey: Alright
Joey: If you do change your mind, go ahead
Natalie: i wont....
Joey: Gotta hold on a bit longer
Natalie: oh...
Natalie: here i was going to lay down and cry all this out....
Joey: Dont
Joey: Then I worry about you
Joey: If you're gonna let it all out, give it to me
Natalie: no....
Natalie: to forgive is one thing..... to use it afterwards is a sin....
Joey: Use what?
Natalie: to constently remember it.....
Joey: We'll forget it
Natalie: forgetting would be foolish... i wont ever bring it up again.....
Joey: It will be refered to as it from now on, huh?
Natalie: just as i dont wish to hear of it again
Natalie: its just an element.... it'll wear itself out.
Joey: I truly apologize for what it has done to you...
Natalie: your forgiven, joey...
Natalie: i still love you and the guild.... to not forgive you would tear it all appart....
Joey: I just wish you wouldnt cry though
Natalie: i'd have to find the ability to cry againto even do that....
Natalie: least on the outside
Joey: -Hugs tightly- Take care, Natalie
Joey: Like I said dozens of times before
Natalie: *hugs back* .......
Joey: I'd hate to loose my first-mate
Natalie: ....you wont.....
Joey: That a promise?
Natalie: till the day i turn to dust
Joey: Long way aways
Natalie: *nod*
Natalie: dont get to bored.....
Joey: Dun worry
Joey: ... Got me a wood burning kit
Natalie: heh... that story again
Joey: Heh
Natalie: ...talk to you tomarrow... or something...
Joey: ... Later tonight
Natalie: able to drive that....?
Joey: I'll try
Natalie: then ont...
Natalie: driving sucks
Natalie: no point on getting hurt
Joey: I'll be fine
Natalie: already got enough of that today
Joey: I know
Joey: I promise, I'll be back in one piece
Joey: Till then
Joey: -Hugs-
Natalie: *hugs back*
Joey: Love you, Natalie
Natalie: ......
Natalie: ..............love ya too, joey.
Natalie: bye
Joey: Bye
==========================================

I deem it crule and unusual punishment by reading this every day... but im trippling the pain on my end... he does enough on his own by neglecting what i do now, let alone saying he respects and trusts me and ends up lying to my face less then 2 min later. Right now, i just read it, and i feel ready to cry... but yet i force myself not to so that it hurts even more.



==========================================
Joey (10/15/2006 11:04:34 PM): o_o
Joey (10/15/2006 11:04:40 PM): Captain for a day too much for ya?
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:04:58 PM): yes
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:05:01 PM): it is
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:05:28 PM): i already am haunted constently by aug 26th
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:05:58 PM): and it wont be vanishing anytime soon
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:07:25 PM): ...im sorry...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:07:27 PM): ... I know...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:07:30 PM): ... It's fine...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:07:45 PM): I admit acting like an ass that day
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:07:56 PM): you had your reason
Joey (10/15/2006 11:08:17 PM): No
Joey (10/15/2006 11:08:21 PM): Had no reason to do so
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:08:27 PM): yes, you did
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:08:48 PM): you figured id take everything from you and run off with it
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:09:06 PM): thats enough reason to
Joey (10/15/2006 11:10:22 PM): ...v_v
Joey (10/15/2006 11:10:29 PM): ... Never should have snapped like that...
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:10:30 PM): i already said i'd never be captain, only acception is my birthday... and that bet i gave ya
Joey (10/15/2006 11:10:39 PM): New Years Eve
Joey (10/15/2006 11:10:48 PM): Be a hell of a New Years, eh?
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:11:04 PM): and if the crew forgets my birthday, then it'll be carried to jan 1st
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:11:08 PM): its what we agreed on
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:11:23 PM): and i wont do any underhanded tricks and log in my mules just to shorten it for ya
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:11:57 PM): thats the onlyt ime i'll be captain
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:12:38 PM): and you had plenty of reasons to snap at me
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:13:35 PM): same reason why i tookit over in the first place, i had my reasons.. i was being neglected, and wanted a few min of glory... which lead to it.
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:14:30 PM): but your reasons overpower mine, your the captain.. and i underhandedly sliped it out from your pocket till you seen something was wrong
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:14:45 PM): as said, i deserved it
Joey (10/15/2006 11:15:08 PM): ...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:15:14 PM): Lets just forget it happened
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:15:25 PM): ...wont happen.. it will forever be a topic...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:15:37 PM): Last thing we need is something like that hovering over our heads for all eternity
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:15:50 PM): dont worry, that already beat me to it...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:16:03 PM): No it hasnt
Joey (10/15/2006 11:16:18 PM): You think it has
Joey (10/15/2006 11:16:21 PM): but it hasnt
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:16:25 PM): least your agreeing i deserved it now
Joey (10/15/2006 11:16:55 PM): No I dont
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:16:56 PM): i torture myself enough reading it every day
Joey (10/15/2006 11:17:02 PM): Then stop
Joey (10/15/2006 11:17:13 PM): ...
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:17:23 PM): ...i cant...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:17:33 PM): Please...
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:17:36 PM): i havent righted the wrong...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:17:39 PM): You can do it
Joey (10/15/2006 11:17:49 PM): It's already been righted, Natalie
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:18:07 PM): v_v
Joey (10/15/2006 11:18:10 PM): ... when you told me what you now tell me every day...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:18:29 PM): Me? I'm the one that should be saying that
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:19:01 PM): saying what? I done nothing to fix it... i continued my job...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:19:19 PM): You've done more than you could possibly imagine Natalie...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:20:03 PM): you repayed me when you said that you loved me...
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:20:05 PM): yea... sure....
Joey (10/15/2006 11:20:31 PM): Hell, I'm still wondering why
Joey (10/15/2006 11:20:35 PM): Guy like me
Joey (10/15/2006 11:20:59 PM): I got nothing to offer
Joey (10/15/2006 11:21:21 PM): Not rich, not exactly the brightest light on the Christmas tree...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:21:45 PM): Probably the one that makes the others turn off occasionally that pisses off Dads everywhere
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:22:37 PM): ...you accepted me in without a second thought
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:23:09 PM): automadicly trusting me when you set me to power without having to prove myself...
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:23:54 PM): later takingme in as a friend, even though at the time i wasnt aware of your lies
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:25:08 PM): you took the time to talk to me on messenger. Only three faces ight up on my page, and thats in a sea of 80+ people that i dont feel like counting
Joey (10/15/2006 11:25:24 PM): Try 100+
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:25:45 PM): you see me as a whole and not in parts...
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:26:51 PM): im a monster, and you refuse to accept it... i supoose that is why you befriended me was becouse i am afellow outsider
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:27:07 PM): though, im sure you sill have trouble trusting me still... i think you want to...
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:27:56 PM): even with the lack of things coming from your side, i at least understand why
Joey (10/15/2006 11:28:27 PM): The past
Joey (10/15/2006 11:28:38 PM): Though not changed and sometimes not forgotten
Joey (10/15/2006 11:28:50 PM): Can always be learned from
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:29:14 PM): as said, you hve your reasons not to trust me....
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:29:36 PM): even proved it cos of that day
Joey (10/15/2006 11:29:49 PM): ... can I call...?
Natalie (10/15/2006 11:29:56 PM): ...sure...
Joey (10/15/2006 11:30:34 PM): Kay
Joey (10/15/2006 11:30:43 PM): Signing off online
==========================================

I done all i could for him.. and yet he still has the nerve to ignore and hurt me... im drowning in my tears... and all he does is sit back and watch tv.... im dying....