Somtimes I find it hard to blog about my emotions or sometimes lack there of when their should be some. I was up really late last night with thoughts that would go away, and I should never be thinking. I was sitting there just thinking but I know what I was thinking I would never be able to say or tell anyone.
I find it funny that I am defined by the things I do and don't say. I have always kept my life quiet and try to be drama free...although not always possible. It'so secret to my family and friends alike that I like to keep my life private and I would do ANYTHING to keep it that way. However, I have slowly come to realize keeping my life so secret, has done me no great favours.
I have been fighting myself on and off about a serious issue for about 3 years and now I it has only gotten worse since I have failed to tell anyone who could have helped me . Now I feel like I am gonna burst..what now?
This next number is probably one of songs on Youtube that has received the most attention. I have to say that I think it is one of the best Coldplay songs ever. It is "Fix you".
This in my attempt at it:
Here are the stats on this video alone, up until I put this post out:
55 Ratings.
2,281 Viewings.
Favourited 25 times.
136 comments.
My overall progress through Youtube has continued to be positive with a lift in subscribers again to 376. It wont be long until it spills over the 400 mark.
There have been 103,970 viewings of all of my videos to date.
There have also been 9,500 channel views, which is also steadily on the increase. So the 10k tarket is not too far away now :)
And for my next post. I was asked to do it by a great guy on Youtube. It's me singing a cover version of a song about the loss of a friend. I changed the music, to try and enhance the relevance.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
I remember this song - I always loved it but it took on special meaning when before we started dating, Matt told me that he always thought of me when he heard it - wanting to fix me, wanting a chance to at least. I didn't think he could (or anyone else could, for that matter), but when I finally gave him a chance, he surprised me. Anyway, he just sent me a wonderful a cappella version of the song, and it just brought me back to that time... made me think about just how much things have changed - how much I have changed since when he told me that. There's a lot of horrible things and pain in the world; how people can be so cruel to one another I will never understand... but, it's amazing how much another person can bring into your life if you open your heart to them. That's all, just a quick thought today.
Here's to freedom, travel, puppy dogs, love, and friendship.
It took me most of the summer of bitching to Randy about my dog needing a dog house. Last month he went and got me the materials to build it but of course didn't build it. Left it to me.
I finally got it done yesterday! Two days ago I started it and got frustrated because I tried doing it Randy's way but he just couldn't grasp what I wanted to do. So I went into town and got my friend Tab and her man Joe to help me out. Tab like me took shop in school and Joe was there for the muscle. Tab picked up on exactly what I wanted to do.
She took my lil drawing of an A frame dog house and helped me figure out how to get it together and Joe did all the moving of peices and holding while Tab and I drilled in the screws. Then after we got it all done; Joe and I moved it up on the kennal pad! Big enough for my Great Dane Pup wouldn't you say!?
I am so proud of myself. Rnady is gone all the time and I am Baching it (according to my Uncle whom I rent from!) I have to do all the Honey do List myself. It is taking me forever but they are getting done!
Yesterday I crossed off build the dog house! Tonight I crossed off weedeating! This weekend I am hoping to cross off fix wall and finish priming the kitchen!
I am becoming myself again! I don't need no stinking man! I use to do all these things myself and became way to dependent on Randy. Might keep him around as long as he stays out of my house for a few weeks at a time!
car
