Fingers @ MindSay

So I battled my scanner for over a week and finally admitted defeat. It's broken again (AGAIN!), so I finally just took these with a camera.

The next step was the contour line drawing and the actual decoupage, which, although they turned out pretty decent, admittedly look pretty creepy. Or maybe like someone's grandmother.

The drawing was fairly simple, just taking the "shapes" of different lighting instead of drawing only the features. The decoupage, though... UGGGGGH. That was possibly the most grueling thing I have done in my entire life. Almost eight hours of work in school, six hours of work at home. We had to cut out and glue exactly what we'd done in the drawing, with a color to match each shade of lighting, and oh my lord I seriously considered breaking my fingers so I wouldn't have to finish. It sounds easy, I know. Cutting and gluing, I mean, not breaking my fingers. But I really don't encourage you to try either one.

.......... And the tips of my fingers are all black.....

Damn that spray paint.

Good news!  We finally figured out what has been causing all they icky sickies in my body!  It only took 8 long mother fucking bloody cuntbag years.  Seriously debating on suing a couple of doctors back in the home area for not figuring this  problem out a lot sooner.

Bad news.  I have Type 2 diabetes.  For the next few weeks I will be living with 3 a day pin pricks to my fingers to check my blood sugar (gloucous sp?) levels and this 3 a day pin prick will either go up or down depending on how stable I can keep my blood sugars.  There will always be times where I will feel the need to check my levels.....times of great stress, a food that normally didn't affect me starts, an injury, a cold or flu.....all those lil things that I usually just ranted and raved over........now I have to watch and be mindful of.  Because diabetics are prone to infections and other complications from this disease.  They are hoping that I am what is going to be called a controlled diabetic.  Meaning for now no insulin shots......they want to try and control the levels with pills.  Twice a day for awhile and then I stablize and we go from there and see if I need to go up or down with medication or change medication all together. 

Ready for more complications and consequences of this lovely disease?  Once your on pills to help lower my sugars (in my case) you have to start watching for LOW blood sugars.  Yes folks.  We go from monitoring and regulating high blood sugars to going well we meet our goal of lowering the blood sugars to now we need to change medications or dosage of current medication so we dont' lower it to low and throw your body in to a coma.  Which can also happen if your sugars are too high.  Now I don't know much about Type 1 aka insulin dependent diabetes.......but with Type 2.....after you start insulin shots or pills (pills in my case) you need to keep Apple Juice on hand and most likely a lovely sneakers bar.  Because if your blood sugar goes to low you have to bring it back up.  Yes, it use to be Orange Juice.  Not anymore.  I have no clue why....I will do research on that and figure it out.  And when they use to use OJ they usually had diabetics put sugar in the juice also.  NOT Anymore!  Depending on what ever juice your doctor tells you to keep on hand......NO MORE SUGAR.

On top of all those pills and pin pricks.......I get to now have a consultation with a diabetic certified nutritionist.  Oh Joy.  What Rapture.  I already know I need to stay away from lots of Carbs and that I can still eat a normal life style.......just not that much of normal.  Lots of no sugar no carb foods.  Yay we can say good bye to my Cocacola:(  diet Dr. Pepper is my diet soda of choice.  I can't stand diet coke.  The upside though.....is between this very healthy NO TASTE diet........and the pills.......I should drop a good poriton of the weight I had put on this past 8 years.  One of the first signs is that you do start to loose weight.....which between my icky sickies and ju jitsu ......I had already lost 10 lbs.  Only 60 more lbs to go!  Thank gods I look sexy as a big lady still:D

I also.....have a nice little excuse to throw at Randy my darling hubby now when he doesn't want to watch the kids while I go to the YMCA to work out!  I have diabetes!  Do you want me to get clogged artieries or have my kidney's effected!  I have to exersise 30 minutes most days now.  No ands ifs or buts about it.  This will only be a problem because I am really out of shape even with ju jitsu and I hate working out by myself.  And I freely admit I get lazy when I am depressed.  Which is also another symptom of diabetes!

Having the majorty of my friends from back home being Type 2 diabetics (NA Indians are prone to get all 3 forms of diabetes) and having my own family history of diabetes.......I know that I can live with this diesease and it not affect my life like so many ppl do let it affect theirs.    I even have had a child hood friend that had Type 1 growing up and now is in his early 30s.......He did everything he has pretty much wanted to do minus going into the military.  He took insulin shots as a child and teenager and as an adult he has been fitted for an insulin shot.  He was a bouncer, a bull rider/bronc rider, rode motorcycles, couldn't really play a lot of sports becuase of how funky his levels were, but he ran track to get his exersies) and lifted weights.  Unlike most of the diabetics that are from my home area........he has no choice but to follow his doctor's and dietian's directions on his food and insulin intake.  In fact.......as more doctors and scientiest research diabetes.....they are finding....that the majority of the ppl out in the world with diagonoised diabetes do NOT follow their doctor's directions or monitor their food intake or exersise. 

I am going to take a page from my friend with Type 1 diabetes book..........and do what the doctors tell me.  No matter how much I hate it or how much it will change not only my life but my families.  Like my mother has freely pointed out 4xs since Saturday; I have 2 children I have to live to see raised with their own families.  I do think I am still in denial though.  I didn't want to start the antibotics they put me on for the boil.........I am on two different strong antibotics to not only clear up the boil but all the infection that is running through my body or to take the pills to help my blood sugar till tomorrow.  My mom being my mom and a nurse.....lectured me and so I was a good girl and started my pill regimine tonight.  I have two more pills for the night to take.  Then I start it all over tomorrow morning with a fasting blood prick and all my pills.

The doctor also wants to pre screen both my children after we get me stablized on one medication (hopefully). 

So a lil advice to those who come from the NA Indian culture's, and other cultures that diabetes runs in, and to all those with a family history of diabetes.  Watch your bodies and keep pushing the doctors even if they tell you what they did for 8 mother fucking years......its all in your head.  It isn't!  You know your bodies.  Even if your healthy and you feel healthy.  On your next physical ......as for a diabetes pre screen test!  And if you have a strong family history of diabetes or if you had gestional diabetes when pregnant.......have your children pre screened.  Diabetes in children is so much hard on them then it is on adults and has a whole new set of complications! 

So today is NOT the first day of the rest of my life.......for I am already living my life.......it IS the first day of my life of pills and pin pricks!

woah this is weird. I just realized that I play guitar so often and so hard that I can't feel my fingertips anymore.

You know how guitarist get tough, calloused fingertips? well mine are so bad I can shove a needle into them without feeling it at all! I also realized my fingertips are so hard and my finger muscles are so thick that i can puncture a cardboard box if I tap it hard enough. All I need is some green skin dye and I'll be Hulk Hands!

Freaky! instead of my shirt ripping everytime I get angry, it'll be my gloves!

on a better note.....

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darn i got nothing

mebbe I'll go steal a quiz...