Financial Aid @ MindSay 
school
One day last week, on the bus ride from Brewster to Minges, a young man approached all the young lady passengers individually in an attempt to find a lunch date. Unless he found success after I had disembarked, he ate alone.
My initial reaction was that he had a hell of a nerve, but upon reflection I had to admire his spunk. He took “if at first you don’t succeed...” to a whole new level. Perhaps if I had been as bold, I would’ve had my first date before I was 27 (Boy, was it awkward when her dad drove us to the movies).
I’m old fashioned I guess. I just wouldn’t go up to a complete stranger and ask her to lunch. She’d probably slap me, and I know my wife would.
I guess young people are more liberal than I was at their age. Take clothing, for example. I looked like a white bread dork with my plaid shirts and freshly-pressed khakis, but the other day I saw a guy in a ragged T-shirt, shabby shorts, and flip-flops sitting on the floor outside a classroom. I took pity on him and stuck a dollar in the cup beside him before realizing it was full of coffee. When I found out he was a professor, I really felt like a putz.
A word on flip-flops, and sandals in general. Few things look as ridiculous on a grown man as sandals. No male over the age of 10 should ever wear them. Why? Men have ugly feet. I know. I’m a man, I have ugly feet, and I don’t wear sandals. No one wants to look down and cast their eyes on a set of hideous toes that look like hairy Mexican sausages.
Young ladies, on the other hand, can pull off the whole sandal thing, provided they have cute toes. Ugly toes of both sexes should remain covered at all times.
Speaking of young ladies, take it from the Old Guy, girls: a little mystery is a lot more exciting than miles of skin. Those nice little nothings you’re almost wearing can make it hard for some of us to concentrate on what the professor is saying. I mean, yeah, I’m happily married, but I’m not dead...and I really need my education. If you’ve got it, flaunt it at the beach. I don’t go there.
And for anyone out there who doesn’t have it...please don’t flaunt it. ’Nuff said.
Speaking of flaunting...to the young man with his pants pulled down past his cheeks giving everyone in the Financial Aid office a clear view of his plaid undies last Wednesday: you’re in college. You should be able to dress yourself by now.
Now for a word about facial hair. What’s up with all these mutton chop sideburns I’m seeing all over campus? Elvis left the building a long time ago, fellows. And if you’re going to have a beard, have the wherewithal to grow a mustache to go along with it. Abraham Lincoln and C. Everett Koop are the only non-Amish who could ever pull that off, and let’s face it, they looked ridiculous too.
While I’m at it, let’s talk about the bathroom for a minute. Obviously I’m speaking only to the gentlemen now, but some of it may apply to the ladies.
Flush. That’s all I ask. Ever hear of backsplash, guys? Think about it. Yeah, that’s right. You don’t want it to happen to you, and I sure don’t want it to happen to me. You flush at home, so do your fellow students the courtesy of flushing at school. Soap and hot water are right behind you.
I don’t mean to be critical. My intent more than anything is to make you laugh, however, I also want to make you think. I’m a firm believer in personal responsibility and in putting one’s best foot forward...preferably in a real shoe.
© 2007 by J.D. Lewis
Me: "So, even though I've been struggling to barely support myself and survive this God-forsaken city, you mean to tell me that I'm still considered a 'dependent student'? How does that work?"
Financial Aid "expert": "Yes. You stated that you aren't a veteran, you're only supporting yourself, and only one of your parents is deceased. That means you still have one parent alive and able to possibly provide you with some financial support for your college education."
Me: "Wait, of which parent are you speaking? The father who has never-in-his-life made an effort to meet/contact me, or the step-father that kicked me out at age 18 because I was no longer eligible for Social Security 'survivor's benefits', thus no longer providing him any free income, as well as refusing to do the same unnecessarily daily chores before work and school obligations?"
Financial Aid "expert": "The step-father."
Me: "I have no contact with him. How am I supposed to get his income tax information, let alone financial support from him?"
Financial Aid "expert": "Well, has he refused to contact you?"
Me: "Well, no, but he hasn't tried, either."
Financial Aid "expert": "Well, then it seems to me like it's less 'no contact with him' and more 'refuse to contact him'. That's your responsibility. You can't get his support because you choose not to, not because you're unable to. We can't give you financial aid simply because you don't feel like talking to your step-father."
Me: "The man got rid of me when I was no longer a source of income or slave labor! I like to think that's reason enough to assume he won't be helping me financially. Not to mention the fact that I'M FRIGGIN' LIVING OFF OF MY OWN INCOME, AND NOTHNG ELSE. I think that's called being 'independent,' no?"
Financial Aid "expert": "Not if you have a living parent that you are fully capable of contacting. I'll be expecting your step-father's tax information soon, or I'm afraid you'll be seeing no aid coming your way, Mr. Shoptaw."
Me: "And I'll be expecting to see you in hell, sir." [I stand up and leave.]
I think it's safe to say I no longer plan on attending this institution. Unforgiving bastards. >_<
Mrawr... stressed about money, but who isn’t? I’m thinking by rent-due-time I’ll be peachy, but I’ll be $30 short for utilities because the rest of my work checks are backed up to the 24th of August, but I haven’t written out any checks for utilities yet so my sublease lady will have to cope. Boo on getting paid every two weeks at the library for work you did two weeks before that.
I think I have most of my forms in for Japan, minus one weird insurance form. And that one form I have to resend to them tomorrow…*whew* There is much too much work involved in leaving the country. I’m wondering what the people at the Center for International Education actually do since I seem to be expected to deal with most of this paperwork independent of them. Support? Let us hope they don’t get judged on just that. No one there seems to know exactly what is going on, at any rate.
Speaking of disorganized departments… I wrote a thank you note for the guy at the Financial Aid Office who was particularly helpful. I have to remember to get that to him tomorrow as well.
July is almost over. Where did the summer run off? I’m only going to be in Eau Claire for a few more weeks, so I’m trying to make things out of the random food I have left without buying more. I had the ingredients for half a batch of brownies, which I made yesterday. Where is Virgil when I need him? He always comes up with something if I give him a list of what I have.
<start=poor college student>
Wish List:
- External Hard Drive ( I can’t take my desktop with me and can’t afford a laptop.)
- Japanese/English Dictionary (It’s amazing I don’t already own one of these…)
- Japan guidebooks and maps (Again, where have I been in 6 years of study? Oh right, the Internet… can’t carry that in your pocket.)
- New slippers (I lost my really nice old ones in the various moves I’ve made *tear*)
- A digital camera that works (never gonna happen… the new one I got for x-mas broke within a month *double-royal-tear-disappointment*)
If anyone has any of these things they want to donate or sell for cheap, let me know before I have to go buy new ones.
</poorness>
I'm working on my journal for professor Haight-Ashbury's class. Why is this taking longer than I thought? Perhaps I should start next weeks assignments tomorrow. Geez! I refuse to stay up to 4:00 AM doing this assignment!
I still have to call FAFSA and ask them where they hell is my financial aid money. I can't wait until shit slows down.
On a positive note, the weather is going to be a tad bit cooler tomorrow! This will be great because I actually have to go up to the campus tomorrow and since there's a good chance I'll get lost, I won't have to dehydrate and suffer from heat exhaustion.
I got my financial aid package from High Point today.
Needless to say, I think I might only have to take out $7,625 on loan for freshman year.
Out of $26,220.
Heck yes!
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