I realized something today....I'm not going to settle....I shouldn't have to settle for just anyone. I want more than just any ol girl....I want the woman who is going to make me happy. I know this makes me sound like an asshole...I don't know maybe it doesn't. I want the woman who gives me that feeling, and I won't stop for anything to get that feeling. I felt that feeling once but I haven't since......Not with Candace, not Bri, not with nikki, not with any of the amandas I have ever had, not with Kriscia, not with Laura, not with Ana, annie, or any of those girls....I been lookin for love in all the wrong places springs to mind. Heh....I'm done with lookin for girls.....I want a woman, which would probably explain why I've been attracted to women 5 or 6 years older than me.....There is even a woman that I seem to be just pen pals with that I'm starting to fall for, but I know it will never work...she lives over there I live over here.....She is not too much older than me about 5 years....and I know as soon as she reads this she'll probably freak out.....or maybe she'll understand....I don't know, but either way I know she may be surprised. I hate feeling like that the finishing line is inces away but I just broke my ankle.....that's why I was stsrting to feel like I would just end up settling, but no...uh-uh, not now. I won't settle, and even if I can't be with, lets call her Ms. F., I'll just keep searching until I find that woman that sparks that fire inside of me.....that great chemistry that I only have with few people. I don't believe in many things anymore, and love is fading fast.....I believe in my mom, and I believe in friendship.....to see so many people stare death in the eye and pray for God's help, and then see those prayers go unanswered, I've given up on believing A line I heard says it best....."God is the name for innocence on the lips of babes everywhere, but where children do not dwell, God does not exist." Straight from the horses mouth...mine if you didn't get that.........so yeah.....it'll take me a lot to believe in that again and if I can't find a way to find that feeling, and have that woman feel the same way then I'm just gonna start believing that love doesn't exist either. Many people will see this and think I'm out of my mind, others will think I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch.....but you know before we cn learn to fly we must first learn to stand and walk......Do I make sense to you? I believe it makes sense to me...What will you have to say to me? Will you hate me? Will you stop caring? will I be all alone? So many questions so few answers and here is one for you.......Let's see if you get the answer right.
Will you still love me in the morning?
