Feel Good Inc @ MindSay

I feel like lately I've been a downright no good, stupid jerkface to people.

it seems as if I've been analyzing my friends a lot lately, which is stupid. I've never let small things bother me... but when I bring it up in conversation it seems like something waaay bigger than I think it is.

I think from this point on I'm going to keep my mouth shut!

June 18, 2009 11:30pm

 

I feel better tonight. I cleared the laundry in the laundry room (it’s been there for months). I also cleaned the tv room and completely, well almost, cleaned the kitchen. I still have the refrigerator left. I cleaned our bedroom and vacuumed and dust mopped the floors. Afterwards, I burned a little sage and misted the room with sage as well. It felt good. Today I watched a documentary that had original music that inspired me. Lately, I have been thinking, “Who am I? What am I doing?” I’ve felt so disconnected. The original music on the documentary made me sing. I didn’t sing an original song. “If You’re Not Back In Love By Monday”, came to mind and I kept singing a portion of the first verse, well at least as much as I could think of. It energized me. Singing energized me. I remembered me at that moment. I felt connected. He complains when I sing, so I stopped, but I am going to sing if I want to. Today, he said, “You need to get a hobby. You have too much time on your hands. You read self-help books too much.” I told him I had hobbies but he didn’t like them. Now I don’t know who I am anymore. I am pleased I made that connection because I had lost sight of why I was disconnected. Now I am slowly beginning to remember. I let someone who’s unhappy with themselves slowly pick away at my happiness. I enabled him in becoming a killjoy. Not anymore. I am going to stand up for myself. Perhaps Dariah’s presence helps me as well. I am not sure.

 

Tonight I was reading and it dawned on me why church didn’t seem to feed my spirit. It dawned on me why I like to use the terms “the Universe/ Energy/Spririt” and why I like nature and natural things. It’s because that’s how I connect everything back to God. God is everywhere and everything. Those terms helped me to feel the Omniscience, Omnipresence, and Omnipotence. It helped me feel connected. I didn’t have to do anything special. Those words simply helped me acknowledge and stay aware of God’s presence. Made God bigger than I could see and un-embodiable (I know that’s not a word).

 

I feel better right now. I feel alive. I feel like living. I don’t feel invisible. At this moment I feel connected. I feel GoOD. I feel grateful.

 

There's indeed a glimpse of life on this planet.

 

 

 

My eyes burn and are hard to focus. Why can a good cry cause you to feel it's ripples for days after? Ah well, it should be good for the soul even when it makes you feel fragile.

Pictures! Yes, I has dem.
(Sorry, was at LOLcats too long last night.)

Most were taken either out driving or here at home. I have counted how many pictures I have and it looks like this will be another two-parter post.



















*EDIT*
One last thing. Does anyone know how to work a H2O smoker like This One? I bought one for $5 at our neighbor's garage sale and it didn't come with instructions. If you have one let me know what you think please. Thanks!!

So me and my mate just rode from my house to the city and back again, took us three hours but it was so damn worth it! Knowing that I accomplished something like that made me feel heaps good. Though my body has gone to shit the high of knowing i've just rode my ass off makes up for it. Hehe yay for long weekends!

 

Nothing much is planned but yeah we'll see how things go.

Like the Godfather of Soul said, "I FEEL GOOD"! 

 

I feel about 100% better than I did yesterday! I have a ton of energy and I feel like an actual human being instead of a tired, grumpy ogre.  I started taking DHEA again and I made myself go to bed a midnight last night.  I woke up feeling great this morning. I guess that's why I felt like dancing to some Michael Jackson this morning. I should have danced to this: