
Family Guy Quotes @ MindSay 
Today, like promised, I have come to you with the continuing
Family Guy Quote Blogs!!!
Today's cast member will be...... drum roll......
Chris Griffin
Go!!
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Chris: Hey little dude, how about some ice cream?
Stewie: Yes I could go for a frozen treat right about now. But no sprinkles. And for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.
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Security Guard: Alright son, we're gonna need those two hams back.
Chris: Huh? I don't have any hams.
Guard: Lift up your shirt, son.
Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult!
Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty? You're just a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris: Thanks.
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Stewie(spanking Chris): If your teachers ask about your bruises, what do you tell them?
Chris(crying): I got hit by a baseball.
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Peter: Hey Lois, can you grab me a beer?...Lois?
Chris: Dad, I think she went out.
Peter: Alright then you be Lois.
Chris: Okay.
Peter: Hey Lois, can you get me a be...oh my God, you've really let yourself go!
Chris: Well maybe if you bought me some nice clothes once in a while!
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Chris: Doctor, I need you to get rid of this zit!
Doug (Chris's Zit): You traitor!
Doctor: Whoa, that's a doosie! I bet some of those awful kids at school call you Zit Face?
Chris: No
Doctor: Papa Zit?
Chris: No
Doctor: Pus Peak?
Chris: No
Doctor: Fat ass?
Chris: Well..yeah..
Doctor: TSk, tsk..oh, that's terrible!
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Lois: Chris, we know what you did.
Chris: You mean that I lied about my age to get into an Indian casino?
Lois: No.
Chris: You mean about the time I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but no.
Stewie: How is that close?
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Peter: Chris is not as smart as you think he is...
(Peter slaps Chris in the back of the head)
Chris: HEY!
Peter: He did it.
(Peter points to a nearby floor lamp, and Chris attacks it and starts fighting with it.)
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Chris: Hey, dad, look! I covered my back with honey and now the ants are taking me home.
Peter: He does the same thing at home with Velveeta and cockroaches. If you turn the light on really fast they slam him right into the fridge.
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Chris: I don't want to get rid of my pimple, I like him. He's my friend. His name is Doug.
Brian: I just wish I didn't have to look at it.
Chris: Well, we have to look at your ANUS all day!
Stewie:Thank you!
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Mrs. Lockheart: What do you see here Chris?
Chris: Two D's and an F.
Chris: So .. ah .. what are you wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha WOW! I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who are you talking to?
Chris: Grandma.
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Chris: I don't have to listen to you! You're a dog! You don't have a soul!
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Chris: When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles my brain. Hah hah hah ... ow. Oh, now I don't know math.
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And there you go! Enjoy! And next time the cast member will be .....
Lois Griffin!!!
BaZING!!!
This is the next in my series of "Family Guy" quote blogs! First up was Peter Griffin. Today's blog will be based on Brian the Dog. Enjoy!!
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(Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus.)
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian : Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian : Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian : You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian : A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany. (Throws his hand up in a Hitler salute.)
Brian : Uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: (Snapping out of it) Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.
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Brian: Hola, me llamo es Brian ... Nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.. uhhhh ...
Bellboy : Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh you speak English!
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy (Spanish): Que?
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Peter: Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
Brian (after Peter falls down and starts screaming): I'm not going to call an ambulance this time because if I do you won't learn anything.
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(At the Quahog county trailer park)
Brian: You're really going to take back donated presents on Christmas Eve?
Peter: Yep, now here's the plan: You'll enter through the air contitioning duct here. Now there'll be an invisible laser grid three inches from the floor, so you'll have to compress your body to the size of an ordinary household sponge and slide underneath like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin.
Brian: Can I buy some pot from you?
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Brian: Hey, do you hear that?
Peter: What?
Brian: Sounds like someone's screaming.
Peter: What? What is it boy? What are you trying to say?
Brian: It sounds like Loretta is screaming.
Peter: Trouble at the old mill?
Brian: What are you insane?
Peter: Somebody fall through the ice?
Brian: It's summer.
Peter: Bobcat?
Brian: RURURURURURU!!!
Peter: Loretta's in trouble?! Come on boy!
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Brian: Yes uh, well, Mr. Tucker it seems your son Jake had some vodka at the school dance and uh, Chris got blamed for it. This whole situation has just turned his whole life upside down faced.
Stewie: (Shocked, he widens his eyes and slowly turns head towards Brian--Tom Tucker's son has an upside down face.)
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Brian Griffin: Aiight, aiight, so I'm chillin with my homies in Verona, when my homie busts out with "Yo, Romeo, check out that biatch, Juilet, in the window." The problem is, Juilet's peeps are like East Coast rappers, and my posse's representin' West Siiiide, just like my boys Tupac and Biggie, know what I'm sayin?
Student 1: That's racist man.
Student 2: Yeah man, that's just straight ig'nant.
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Brian: You want some ice cream?
Stewie: No.
Brian: You want some McDonalds?
Stewie: No.
Brian: You want to take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes?
Stewie: Yeah.
Brian: Okay, let's go and take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes.
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Ugly Girl: You mean I could be a prostitute?
Brian: Yeah sure, but in your case I would get the money up front.
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(Peter and Brian are watching Sesame Street)
Peter: Have they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on him?
Brian: You're asking me if they've ever done an episode where the Count kills someone, and then drinks their blood for sustinance?
Peter: Yeah.
Brian: No, I don't think they've done that one yet.
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Brian: I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection.
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Stewie (in chair being told about babysitter): Yes! I'm going to wow her tonight Rupert, I'm going to be cooler than Brian when he hangs out at the bowling alley.
Brian: That's what I love about high school girls... I keep geting older, they stay the same age, hehehe, yes they do, yes they do....
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(Brian returns home with the bachelorette.)
Peter: Brian! Welcome home you son-of-a-bitch! So did you lose? Oh, you gotta tell me all about it. Hey, how was bachelorette? Was she a dumb bimbo like you said? But with a big rack?! Ha-ha-ha! C'mon in, you gotta tell me everything! I bet your stories make me laugh so hard I shoot milk outta my nose!
Brian (uncomfortable): Uh, Peter, this is Brooke, the bachelorette. She's, uh, having dinner with us. I went over with this with you a few minutes ago.
Peter: A-ha-ha-ha-ha!! (shoots milk out of his nose onto Brian)
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P.S. I love you Dania!!!
Ba ZING!!!
haha I dont even look at peoples blogs, I just like going into everyones and making sure my name is everywhere on the visitors. haha ;) :p i'm silly and bored
Bad Newws, Ok so my game was cancelled. Happy? NO. Ugh Ugh Ugh. Suckkyyy.
Good Newss, Family Guy is on tonight and i'm downloading more shows to watch haha YES!! ;)
Umm so tutoring was alright, workout was hard but good for me, and then I went up to Stefans and ate so much I thought I was gonna puke while he got ready for work. Now i'm here doing nothinn, im thinkin a bike ride downtown andd ummm watching family guy some more!. ha I gotta call chris tooooo :D
Ok so i'm out ppeeeppps.
<3Amanda<3333
family guy



