Family Friends @ MindSay

     Do you ever feel like you do not belong? I do. Often. I find myself feeling disconnected from my friends and family all the time. Like I'm spinning off alone with no direction or anything to keep me steady. I feel like this especially when my friends are/boyfriend is ignoring me. Also I've been thinking about emotional eating. Random, I know. I have decided that I am an particular version of an emotional eater. I eat when I feel neglected by others but when I'm stressed I completely lose my appitite. I don't really know why I'm writing about this but it was on my mind so I figured I'd share. Anyways, I think I'm done for tonight. I might be back tonight but if not then I'll update later.

After, I told them about rematch, I got a weekend off. I and my friends went to King's dominion for get some more rest and feel freshy!!hehehe. I was still worried about my situations. Anyway, I got a chance to rode all kind of rides, those of rides were so cool. I was screaming and releasing and forgot the same damn things at house for a couple days.

There are 3 families who called me. We talked. I would like to get a new family near DC or the old house. I dont want to move. Anyway, God let me knew the family in CA. They are nice and they liked me since we talked for twice times. I didnt give them an answer yet vbcoz I had to make sure about the people who Im gonna live with shouldnt be like that family.So, I took a week for my decisions. I prayed and went to the church to study Bible. And God gave me an answer.

Wow. 

I received a back massaging chair thinger, that can be plugged in, in the house, and into my car!!! and it has heat too!  I'm using it right now, and its like heaven for my sore back. 

My sisters went above and beyond, I only asked them for a tv, or for money to go towards a tv, and they bought me a HUGE tv! I was so surprised, because it wasn't under the tree, and next thing I knew, in came my dad with this HUGE box and my sisters were saying surprise... i'm so excited.  Now tomorrow I get to go shopping for a receiver for our directv dish, and then i'm set!  I can even hook my computer up to the screen and take a keyboard and lay in bed and type and see it across the room on the tv!  I'm SOOOO stoked.

I got whole bunches of polos and clothes that I picked out, and my mom wrapped... haha a new vest! and this beautiful green fleece jacket from dress barn.   My aunts sent us border's gift certificates, and jewelry and 10$ its pretty exciting. 

The biggest joke of the day was when my mom opened her new ipod nano, and my dad opened his new ipod shuffle! they were so surprised and excited, it was really great that me, kelsey, and whitney were able to keep everything such a big secret this year.  It was really worth it. 

I feel like such a little kid all of a sudden, so excited about everything I got, and i'm absolutely thrilled that my sisters love the stuff I picked out for them, and my dad can't stop looking at the book about the beatles I got for him.  My mom has this smile on her face, from the transiberian orchestra tickets I picked out, thats contagious. 

Now I have to go to the hospital to see a really amazing person thats been close to my family forever, because him and his wife usually stop by a few days before christmas, and this year they didn't and we got a phone call lastnight, saying that he was in the hospital, and was transferred to a different hospital, cause things aren't going so well.   I'm really worried, they've been like another set of grandparents to me, ever since I was really little and mimi used to baby-sit me, at her house and poppa would come home from work and watch tv with me while we waited for my mom or dad.  I really hope he's okay, we're not even sure whats wrong yet, because mimi wouldn't tell anybody except my mom, and her and I were at church lastnight when she called us.  I'm really worried, but I don't want to bring anybodies day down, so hopefully we'll go visit and help make his day a little bit better, its probably really hard to be in the hospital on a day when your used to being surrounded by family and loved ones. 

in approximately 20 hours i shall be boarding the plane, the pane that will fly me to Hamilton Island! im so excited!
ive done the packing! i hope i dont buy much, coz my suitcase is pretty full. Well if i do, i can steal room in Brooke's suitcase..lol. haha..well that is if she hasnt used the space already.
but seriously, im so excited! it is rather scary. it will be the furthest ive been away from home without any family around me. i went to melbourne last year, but i was accompanied by mum, my younger sister and family friends. mind you, back in 1997, i did fly to port macquarie with only my cousin who was only a couple of months older then me. but when we were to reach our destination we had family awaiting us. when we arrive at hamilton, there will be no family. that is the scary part! but my excitement overrides the fear - no complaints there.
but what i dont like most about going are the plane flights, but only when disturbing thoughts creep into my head, thoughts about how at any second something can go wrong and before we know it we could be plummeting towards the ocean! the turbulence makes it a whole lot worse, especially in a smaller plane; the domestic planes. you wouldnt be able to feel it as much if you were in a jumbo.
but overall, i like the plane flights. lol.

"please keep the reporters at bay. this is a matter of life and death, but i deal with things like this everyday. please keep the crowd under control. this is a matter of life and death, and we're not prepared. i just want you to know. please keep the crowd under control. this is the weight of my conscience. this is an all time low."

   My family went on a vacation. We just got back about three hours ago. I am so tired it's ridiculous.

   Most of my friends know that I'm a loner. I can spend hours on end with friends, but at the end of the day I need some time to myself. Time to just relax and be left alone with my own thoughts.

   I was trapped in a minivan for 8 hours with my father, mother, two sisters, and 9 month old brother. You can imagine the horror. Then we stayed with one of my moms friends in her trailer. The only thing we had to do was go swimming or watch movies all day. So I, of course, read a book I brought with me and whatever I had stored on my laptop. On the trip back today I was so tired and testy that I almost screamed when everyone started talking all at once. The only thing that kept me sane was my fluffy pillow and a regular supply of Beef Jerky from every gas station we stopped at.

   It's so nice to be able to go to my room and SHUT THE DOOR!!! *hops around in happiness* Doors are heaven sent. It is now a fact! Doors, fluffy pillows, and beef jerky are alllllllllll heaven sent!!!!!!!!!