Family @ MindSay

1.
Do not go sheep
you sick demons
provide your money for tunics, sandals, food.
whatever you let your feet send you to
you will worry
for it will not deliver you

2.
rise up to hear
speak to your moth your brothers
father and sister
gather together
and behold.

3.
have her
celebrate and please her
whatever she was
nevertheless
give her the cities and compassion
bring her the multitudes and look up
blessed.

Since being in NY I have been missing my family more than ever in my life. I get to talk to them on the phone from time to time and see them on networking sites, but it's not the same as being in the presence of another human being with whom you really relate. I had a dream I was talking on the phone to my mother and the wife of my husband's godfather somehow broke in on the conversation at the point when I was saying something about going back to NJ to live and she said really loudly " oh NO you are NOT!!! ". I was like, HOW did you get it on my CELL PHONE conversation? Weird dream, right? 

I don’t know how families make it these days. Exactly what yearly salary does it take to live comfortably for a family of 4? To afford a reasonable house, afford a reasonable vehicle or 2, eat relatively healthy, be reasonably insured, and enjoy a reasonable amount of daily life?

 

I find myself chasing the elusive dollar. As soon as I get some, it’s gone. I work harder for more. As soon as I get it, gone again. I feel guilty because I’m a working parent. Albeit part time. Then I feel guilty that I don’t work enough. Albeit part time.

 

I have worked fulltime and our financial picture didn’t significantly change. We ate out more because I was too tired from working. We were all bloated from too much fast food, and depressed from being on task 24/7 with no down time and gained 15 pounds.  I’ve not worked at all and our financial picture didn’t significantly change either. We didn’t eat out as much. We were all depressed that we couldn’t eat bad food, had too much time on our hands and we ate too much homemade food out of boredom. The weight stayed on.

 

What is the goal? Is the goal to be home and broke but together? Or is the goal to chase the dollar and be too exhausted to enjoy it? How do we “In the Middle” make it?

There's some kind of music going on.

It's not the usual instruments. It's the breadmaker, chattily grumbling to itself as it works, and my sister's thumping footfalls down the stairs*. It's my clinking spoon against the side of a bowl of chocolate ice cream, and the klickety-klicka of my dad's keyboard as he defrags after a long day of work. It's the chatter of my mom's movie in the background.

It's not any of these.

It's the smile playing around my mouth as I work, just waiting for someone to come in the room to share it. It's my sister's graceful ebullience, ready to enchant and amuse anyone who crosses her path. It's my dad's hidden smile - you can't see it when he's working, but as soon as one of his girls comes down to share something, he's ready. It's the soft energy coming from my mom at the end of the day, when she's tired and loves her family.

That's a little closer.

It's that there are four of us, in four separate rooms of the house, and somehow we're not separated. As soon as anybody walks into anyone else's sphere, they're welcomed. Your presence brings joy. I'm happy to see you. Coming from work and school, all back home at the end of the night. We're tired, but we're happy because we're home, and we're together. Together at opposite ends of the house? I don't know. Somehow it works.

It's being home. It's what home is.

It's love. That's all it is. That's everything.

That's the music. The soundtrack under everything here. It's love.

_{*You ask how someone so slender can make so much noise? It's the boots. My sister has these kickass boots. And she wears them everywhere. Actually, by this point, they've gotten their asses kicked, from being worn everywhere they are gradually being worn out, but she still wears them all the time.}

Tim and Trish posing for photographs.



Left to right: Scott (Aunt Trish's brother), Uncle Tim, Aunt Trish, Paula (Trish's sister, and Uncle Nate. Like I said, I don't know why but Scott insisted upon being in practically all of my pictures.



Uncle Nate and Uncle Tim. Tim looks like he's not feeling well...he's still recovering from nearly passing out. Aunt Trish should have done the civil ceremony like he wanted and just had the reception.



Scott and Trish.



Tim, Trish and Trish's parents.



Aunt Trish's family. I think Nate might be in that pic as well.



This is their wedding cake. It was DELICIOUS!



The chips I hear were good. I didn't have any.



The rest of the food.



This is the reception hall. Apparently, they are still having issues with the deposit on that place...ugh. According to Aunt Trish, NEVER rent anything from the city of Steamboat if you want to get married.



This is Aunt Lori, Uncle Nate's wife. She's the coolest!



This is my Aunt Lanette. I still say she looks gothic in that outfit. Apparently John was mad at Lanette for not sitting next to him. She bloody sees him everyday! Gah!



Uncle Nate was taking pictures all the live long day. I believe he took more pictures than I did...Tim and Trish basically hired him to be their photographer.



LOL: Darren and I took pictures of each other to be goofy.



Uncle Tim is a lot better in this situation than the ceremony part.



Uncle Nate hates getting his picture taken...lol. Same with me.



Uncle Nate eating that chicken stuff...I forgot what it's called and how to spell it. XD




I'm sorry but there's something scary about Pastor Darren in a ballcap...I don't know why.

More pictures...I promise.

I haven't posted pics in a while.

+316+Another day in the life of Rebekah+