Fading @ MindSay 
away
My life is full of stresses and complications, yet im too tired to deal with them
I'm sleeping late into the day, and retiring shortly into dusk.
My life has taken a turn, i just want to fade away.
As each day goes bye, i see everyones faces and hearts lit up deep inside
My life has been covered, a light waiting to fade away
Sometimes, i sit here wondering why or what, and realize theres nothing there
My life has seen too little to understand
The teachers and peers know nothing of my feelings, yet i try to cry out.
My life has many doors, but now they're fading
I've loved in moments, and lost it again, only to find Love leads to heartache
My life has seen the twisted path of Love, but now its faded away
In moments i've Loved, lost, triumphed, failed, persevered, and fallen
My life has come short of my expectations, leaving me to fade away
The pain of yesterday still lingers, even though it does not exist.
My life has moments in the past that don't exist, why wont they fade away?
Yet, I've felt Love, I've felt success, I've known the taste of tenderness
My life gives me those moments to shine, I wont fade away, not till the end of time.
Now, here, in this moment...Fade Away I Shall, till i shine again, till someone sees that i have Faded Away
Orange fading into red, fading into brown, burgundy, maroon, fading into that eventual black.
The vast expanse and the spired treetops, my treetops.
Ham-fisted, I try to speak aloud to the empty and oppressive sky, my restless blunderings.
I shouldn't have been born in this era; I should have sat next to Ginsberg.
I shouldn't have been born.
I have the temper of January snow. My heart is more alaska than antarctica. My humor is like a march wind. My mind is like Wonderland.I have the laugh of eighties pop art. My smile is the soft glow of lamplight. My tears are lost in sands of secrets. I have a head that is always over my heels.
I am not unconquerable.
My temper swoons at the smallest compliment, the tightest hug. My heart melts, although it may be buried under layers of ice. My humor scathes, but fades into warmth. My mind mystifies, but the illusions fade. My laugh bursts from my lungs, bright and powerful. My smile clicks off at night. My tears hide deep within me. My heart falls hard and fast.
I am lovelorn and waning. I am sinking. I am fading into darkness.
But I know that someone, anyone, could fix me if they tried
Okay, so you may all know I'm taking a few classes this year out of home schooling... Like Writing, and Physical Science... Right? Well today I started taking Spanish and Algebra 1 and 2, directly after my writing class... So I wore "The Pants" lol... Yes... the pants... Well I haven’t told you all about them yet... So I will explain the story of “The Pants” (Or at least what we know) it all began last night, Sept. 21 that’s right. We (The Pathfinders, the guide class to be specific) were helping over at the thrift store sorting clothing, tagging them, etc. (Anyways getting to the point) We found these one pair of pants that caught my attention right away, very cute with some fading, you could just tell that they had been loved, and of course had a history. The belt loops had been cut off and the waist band was trimmed so it fringed at the top. (It also made them lower, but that’s really beside the point I'm trying to get across) When I found out that they were a size 4R I thought they might fit… (I’m somewhere between the sizes of 0-5, if anyone didn’t know) putting them off to the side while sorting more clothes. Amanda and I were discussing that if we could just try them on and see if they fit, bought them, then maybe, just maybe, we could have our own version of “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” (If you have heard of the book or at least see/heard of the movie, you would know what we were talking about) As we saw the lady coming back we thought if we could scrounge together enough money then maybe she would let us buy them right then and there(Even though the store wasn’t open) So we had to ask…”Excuse me, do you think that we might be able to get these pants? We really like them. How much would you want for them?” Amanda asked pleadingly…The lady let off a small sweet smile “You may just have them” She replied softly while motioning to keep them. Jumping up and down Amanda and I hugged, laughing joyously. When we got back to the pathfinder building, we scurried immediately toward the bathroom to try them on. Amanda pulled them up, without stopping at her theighs we could just tell that they were going to be great. Excitement filled the room; she looked wonderful, with them fitting perfectly. Giving them to me, she told me to put them on with much anticipation to see how they fit. I put them on, sliding right up, and fastened them…As I looked towards the mirror that was quite far from the ground I jumped to look… They fit! I Ran out to find Dava and Kem who were talking to some friend out in the grass because inside others were having a meeting. Anyways eventually Dava, Kem, Nikki, and Erica all tried them on, and of course they fit all of us differently, accenting our best features while hiding the ones we aren’t incredibly proud to have… I got them first... We still haven’t had the chance to make rules of what we can and cant do in the pants, or how to care for them, besides that you may not dry then in the dryer, unless on the “Knit” Cycle.
Anyways as I said before, I wore them today; first day of two new classes, I thought I should wear them… I had more confidence, knowing that they were not just mine, but rather ours.
Class was good, I had fun, but I do have to say, very tough… Now I’m more non-home schooled then home schooled, because I have 4 out side of my house and only 3 in, well at least main subjects, whatever… I’ll explain more later, when my brain isn’t so fried…..
Ok...Ive been in a bad mood a lot lately.I dont know why though.It seems like something bad is going to happen.It seems like me and my friend is fading apart, she may not think so but I think so.Yeah today are schudule is all messed up I had to go to 2nd hour durning 1st hour still 4th hour and than after lunch I had to go to my 3rd hour...yeah really messed up :-/ ...Jaymee made me a CD and its da shiznit! lolz! hanvt used that word in a while lolz....dooo doo dooo.Tonight is church and I dont know how that is gonna go on account of Pastor Chris quitting.Thats crazay! I dont know if Eric is still gonna go...cause he was to "devistated" that Pastor Chris left.BULLCRAP! lolz....hmmm what should I write about? The only good thing about testing is that we usually dont have to do work in our other classes that were not testing in.:-) .....COMING OUT OF MY CAGE AND IVE BEEN DOING JUST FINE GOTTA GOTTA BE DOWN CAUSE I WANT IT ALL...IT STARTED OUT WITH A KISS HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS IT WAS ONLY A KISS IT WAS ONLY A KISS.....that reminds me of someone! :-(...Yeh pretty much life sucks but no one said it was gonna be easy! DARN ADAM AND EVE HAD TO EAT THE STUPID APPLE lolz! Well I guess I am going to go!
-Meagan-
Showing 1 - 5. [ Next ]