Explosion @ MindSay

My dearest Mindsayer's

I first need to thank you all for the amazing love and comments from the last entry. You all just continue to amaze me, and I cannot begin to thank you for everything that you have done for me. I have read and re-read all of your comments and it has given me the courage that I need to go on with my life, as normal as it can be.

I  feel like I am in a place in my life, right now, right at this second that I am living in a world that is not my own. I am not in my house. I am in someone else's house. I am not in my room. I am in someone else's room. I am not typing at my own computer listening to John Mayer. I am on someone else's computer listening to John Mayer. It is this parallel that I feel like I am never going to get out of. It's hard to explain what I am exactly feeling at this moment in time, but this is the best outlet for me; talking to a world of people who care about me.

I am scared. I am scared of what is to come. I am scared of what my house will be, look like, how safe it will be. I am scared with all this shit talk about asbestos. I am scared for my parents; that this has added extra stress to their life that never really needed to be there in the first place. I feel vulnerable because I am so unsure of what the future may hold. I am feeling exposed. I am all out in the open, so much so that my door and windows had to be boarded up with plywood so that people do not go into my house and touch our things and our belongings. I have a feeling of this perpetual fear of worry that the way I feel when I walk into my house will never be there again. However, I know that these feelings should all be pressed to the sidelines because I have one thing to be thankful for and that is the fact that my family is alive. My family is alive. The very fact that we all could have died, being a survivor who was able to live through a potential ordeal that could have resulted in the death of my family... BUT DIDN'T... is what makes everything better. I don't know what I would do without my Mom, or my Dad or Krystyna... and  quite frankly, what would my family do if I was hurt, or something worse? What about what it would do to Genio? You know, I am here, typing this, and I am reminded at how Genio said to me, on numerous occasions over the span of the past week that... "Dania, I am so happy to have you never in my arms, for I do not know what I would do if you were not here". The sheer truth that that statement could have actually come true really frightens me. Like I said in the last update, that the title of the entry one the main page "Mindsay User Survives Explosion" is so very true. I did survive an explosion that had to true and real possibility that my life could have ended. I don't want my life to end. I have so much to live for. I am turning 25 next year. I have years and years of graphic design a head of me. I have tons of things to photograph. I am going to marry the love of my life next year. I am, we are truly blessed to have survived something like we did. I am a true believer that things happen for a reason. This may of happened for one reason or another, and I may never know the reason, but I believe that it will bring my family closer together. We have all been taught a lesson that life could end very suddenly, and you may never know when that could happen, but when you stare it in the face and you are able to walk away, without a scratch on your face, of cut on your feet and no broken bones, you thank God, and you thank my father who got us all out of the house within 6 minutes of the first and devastating explosion.

Before I go to sleep, every night since Sunday, I lay down and think. I do this all the time, it's nothing new. I talk to God as if the guy is my homey. We kick it, awesome style. But this time, I have questions and I do not think that they will ever get answered. This bothers me. But I have to tell myself not to. I just have to understand that there will be things that I will never be able to understand or get answers for, but I just have to believe. I have to believe in people, I have to believe in time, I have to believe in the power of prayer and I have to believe in myself. I don't think that I do that enough. I do, to a point, but I have a lot of of people believing in me, and seeing the good in myself, but I have a hard trouble seeing it. I try to be the best person to anyone in the world. But I have been reminded several times but certain individuals that I need to believe in myself. Maybe this experience will teach me how to. I have to believe in the power of my legs to run me out of my house. I have to believe in myself to get up each morning and thank God that I am still alive in it. Moreover, I believed in my Dad. He was the man that made sure that everyone got out of the house. If he was not a stern as he was to get out of the house, I don't know how things would have turned out. It was because of him that we got out as fast as we did.

Let me get to the update part ;)

WE FINALLY GOT INTO OUR HOUSE!
On Thursday, with camp [since I work as a camp leader for summer camp] we went on a trip. This trip was to the movies to see Wall-e (which I loved, by the way). On the way back to camp, after the movie was done, I called my Mom to ask her how things were there and if they had got into the house. When I called her, we were just at the bus station, and she told me on the phone that they had finally been allowed into the house. As soon as I heard this, I told my supervisor and she allowed me to leave the group, and get on the bus and go. On the bus, while pulling out of the station I was shaking, crying and had this overwhelming feeling of "oh my god.... finally". When I got of at the right bus stop, I ran to my street, and I don't think I had ever run that fast in my life. My mind was running with me. I was thinking what is my house going to look like? Is all my stuff still there? Is my engagement ring still there? Why did this happen to us? Am I ever going to get over this? Are my parents okay? And I can go on and on with what I was thinking, but you get the idea. When I got to the end of my street, I was stopped by a cop. He asked me where I was going. I told him that I was allowed to get into my house and my family are already there. He asked me if I had I.D and I told him… um no! I have it all in the house. Meanwhile, I had my Mom on the cell phone, and she was at the end of the driveway, and she waved so that the cop could see, and then I continued to run. I ran down my street so fast. When I was getting close to house, I could see debris all over my lawn, street, neighbour houses and my Mom waving me down and tearing streaming down her face. The first thing I remember was standing in front of my house in the exact same spot that I was standing in, back on early Sunday morning, with the large orange ball in the sky and I instantly was brought back to that feeling of heat and tears from running out of the house knowing that it will never be the same again. I walked up to the garage, to see that it looked like a car ran into in to it. I saw the sight of what it looks like to have your double front doors busted in to your house, and to have the overhanging feeling that things have changed forever. When I walked into the house, there was an instant change of my emotions. My house was dark, dingy and not full of life. The first things I saw was insulation everywhere, on top of everything. Dust, walls collapsed, windows smashed and things displaced everywhere. All the art that was around the house was all over the floor, the glass protecting the picture frames hanging on the wall were on the floor, smashed. The kitchen smelled of rotting food, busted-in glass sliding doors in my house, nail pops all over the house, doors off their hinges, cracks in the ceiling, cracks in glasses, and this ever creepy feeling of the fact that my house was open for that many days. There were bugs all over the house and it was sad. Sad because when I looked abound my house, it was not the same, but everything was there. Things were all over the floor, but it was not the same. It was most difficult for me to see the state of my sister, Krystyna’s room. The ceiling fell down, and if she was there, God knows what could have happened. My room, had glass, blinds and personal stuff all over the place. My engagement ring was in the same spot that it was in when I left it there the day before. But, everything that made it my room, was no longer there. It was my room, John Mayer was all there and such, but it was not my room. The window that blew, had a blinds in front of it, and that was completely off its spot attached to the wall. The saddest thing was to see picture frames that were all over my room of Genio and I on the floor. The entire site of the way things looked, but things into perspective, and it just made me realize that a home is not made of what is in it, but who are in it. If there is one thing that you should know about my house, is the fact that it is such a hub of people. Every week there was at least one visit from someone to our house. People just love being there, and not to mention that they love Mom’s cooking! Walking about the house and trying to take everything in, listening to my Mom wail behind me, made things so real.

 

I know that material things are able to be fixed/bought again, but we were able to get the precious and more important things that could never be replaced. It were these things that were first on the list to get. Over the span of yesterday and today, my parents and I were able to get everything we needed to feel better. The minute I had my stuff, the stuff that I really needed I my possession, such as my I.D., debit card, health card, birth certificate, S.I.N. card, driver’s license, money, camera and lenses, computer, extra hard drive, iPod, my Nintendo DS, my make up and iHome, I started to feel so much better. I know that my Mom and Dad felt so much better when they knew the things that they needed were safe, still in tact and really, still in the same place that they were left in. I think that, that was one of the biggest fear that my Dad had… the fact that someone (be it a cop, fire fighter, health inspector etc) was in the house and could have touched things. However, on the first walk through with looking at everything, it looked as if nothing was taken. Therefore that was a good sign.

 

Moving to today, the windows and doors were all boarded up with plywood. Meanwhile, looking at that site is something that is really disturbing. It has the look that the house is in a run down neighbourhood, where life has ended and the street was baron. It was such a hard sight to see because my street is always lively, with tons of traffic and such, but now there was the traffic of media cars, cop cars and fire trucks. It was heartbreaking to see my neighbours’ houses all broken, open and damaged just like mine. However, one of the things that this has done to my community is brought everyone together. We have all learned that in the event of tragedy, we all need to band together and fight this as one.

 

As for the house itself, there is HUGE bin on the outside of the house for the stuff that cannot be salvageable. The insurance adjuster said that the rule of thumb is that anything that is soft is to be thrown out, and anything hard surfaced can be sanded down and refinished. Hopefully the structural engineer will come by on Monday morning, and from there, the insurance company will determine what needs to happen to the house. There are two options. 1) Tear down the house completely or 2) rip out all that is bad, and replace it using the same structure and foundation of the house. When I know more, I will let you know.

 

I added some pictures to the note in facebook.

They are at the end of the entry.

For more pictures, I have this entry on Facebook, if you have it add me up—Danielle Hunter.

 

I want you all to know that you mean the world to me. To those who have already left a comment on the last two entries, know that I read them over and over again and I am so blessed to have you all as my friends. The power of prayer is one of the most powerful things, and please continues to pray for me and my family.

 

I love you all with all of my heart.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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My dearest MindSayers,

I cannot begin to express my deepest things for the outpouring of love, hope and sheer amazingness from all of you. I want to thank you on behalf of myself and my family. I read the comments to my Mom and Dad, and they both teared up. They both know how much a part of MindSay I am, and they were touched. Thank you again.

Here is an update as to what has been going on. We met with an insurance adjuster today, and well, he was able to get into the house and said that the damage was bad. There are broken windows everywhere, there is glass everywhere. I have 5 sliding doors in my house, and 3 of the 5 were shattered and blown into my house. There are glasses and mugs shattered all over my kitchen floor, there are pictures frames of my photography shattered, there are art/picture frames on the wall shattered. Our clothes are ruined. They have dust and the threat of asbestos on them. Our life has been turned upside down. We have no home to go home to.

When we heard the first explosion (since there were several), it was one of the most scariest and terrifying moments of my life. From the sound of the glass shattering because of the giant amounts pressure from the propane, I thought that it was from out house getting struck by thunder or that someone was trying to break into our house. Within seconds, I ran upstairs (since my room is in the basement) to find my parents and Krystyna (my 8 year old sister). My Dad was screaming at the top of his lungs "WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. THE PLACE IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE." I was terrified. I tried to take in the sights of see a glass sliding door INSIDE of my house, my drinking glasses and mugs and walls and ceiling caving in. My Mom and Dad were screaming at me to get dressed and get out as soon as possible. That was just what I did. I ran from the main floor, to the basement, and when I was in my room, I have to literally explain to myself internally what to do. I said " I need pants. What pants do I wear? I can't find my jeans, I just have to wear my pj pants. I need socks. Where are socks? I need a bra. I am not wearing one" And all of these thoughts were running throughout my mind is milliseconds. All I was able to grab was my cell phone. I do not even have my engagement ring. It's still in my house. I have no ID, no debit card, no driver's liscense, no passport, no birth certificate NOTHING. I had the clothes on my back, and my cell phone. When I ran back up the stairs, I had to be careful as to where I was stepping because there was glass everywhere and I was barefoot. I ran out into my garage, as my front door was blown in and was unable to get out of. I saw draywall and insulation in millions of pieces in my garage, and ran out from the side of my garage into the car that was already pulled out into the road out of the driveway. My Mom was screaming at me "GET OUT AND INTO THE CAR". Once I got out of the garage, I did not even have enough time to put on my socks or shoes, and I was barefoot until I got to Genio's house. I checked the time that I called Genio's house, and it was 3:54am on early Sunday morning. I told her "Gina (that's his mom's name) there has been an explosion, and our house is destroyed, we are coming to your house." I hung up the phone, and my Dad was driving so fast. While driving, we saw our neighbours RUNNING for their lives. Both were in their pj's, which looked like next to nothing, one had shoes on and one did not. We told them to get into the car, and they did. They had their dog in their hands. The dog was terrified. It was not until we were too far away that we remembered about our cat. It was too late to turn around, and when it clicked in that we did not get her... all of us began to cry. We did not want to leave her behind, but we had to. The propane fire was so hot. The first initial blast blew out the windows and doors and such, the second blast happened when we were rushing to get out of the house and the third one happened when we were in the car trying to get away. There were several blasts, however, we were outside during the third one, all I do remember seeing was orange, scorching heat and tons and tons of fire everywhere. The entire sky was lit with orange. Well, if you checked out the videos, then you would have seen the blasts and bursts and explosions. It was and probably will be one of the most single and tragic things that has ever happened to me and my family. We were out of the house in about 6 minutes and we were lucky we got out when we did. We were one of the first peoples to get out. When we got to Genio's house, we all began to cry. It was starting to, semi- settle in what had happened. I think we were all still in panic mode and nothing really sunk in. The one thing we were most worried about was Kictha, our cat. We wanted to so go back and get her, but it was totally unsafe and could have led to injuries and such. So, we stayed up pretty much all day, watching the news. We were glued to the tv for pretty much all of the day. There were so many things running through our minds. Will our house be safe? Has our house burned down? We will even have a house to go home to? What happens to all of our stuff? When can we go back? What will happen to us?

(edited) I FOR GOT TO SAY--that we got our cat out. She is safe.

So, skip forward to right now. It's been a busy Monday, as predicted. We went back to the area in which we live in, to try and see when we would be able to go in. As of right now, the perimeter around my pocket of land has not been lifted and continues to be sectioned off. We are unaware as to when and what time we will be allowed to go into the house and get the valuables. We will not be allowed to take any clothes, they all need to be be bought. We can only take the essentials. However, I need my computer, my camera, my makeup, my design work, my iPod, my DS... my engagement ring. Things like that. Other than that, everything needs to stay in the house to have everything professionally packed up and sent to a storage facility until we are able to sort through it and see what to keep and see what needs to be fixed etc. It's all in the hands of the insurance adjuster, the structural engineer, the contractor and my parents.

It's so difficult to think about what lies ahead for my family and I. Yes, my house is destroyed, yes we cannot live in it, yes we need to go find alternative place to live, but we are all unharmed, safe and together.

As for right now, we just have to wait until tomorrow morning to get into the house. And we are still not 100% sure that we will be allowed into our home tomorrow. We do have good news. Our house is not one of the 6 that was listed as unsafe to enter and from the initial viewing from the adjuster, he said that the house is fixable. We, however do not understand what is meant by "fixable". When I get a chance to update you all again, I will.

Please continue to send your well wishes. They are much appreciated.
We love you, thank you, and remember you all here at MindSay have a special place in my heart.

Thank you for the comments on the last entry. When I get a chance, I will respond, however I thought that it would be best to write an entry telling you all about what happened.

I love you with all of my heart.
Always.

A scary story out of Canada, reported to us by valentinaxxx.  A propane tank exploded in North York (near Toronto), destroying the home of longtime MindSay user msdania. 

We are very saddened by the news, but very relieved to hear she's alright.  Be sure to drop by and send her your best wishes if you have a moment.  More details about the news are available here.

- Adam & Brian

I will take the opportunity to introduce a few friends.

Rob is one of my good friends. We met a little over a year ago at work - at the time, he was delighted by how easily he could make me blush. Said friendship built over the summer and IM, when we discovered that we could argue about theology, books, music, friendships, human nature - just a lot of stuff we both enjoyed. He's amazing at backrubs, generally people find it easy to trust him. I think. He's also got cerebal palsy, which means that he spends a fair amount of time hanging out in a wheelchair, and he says sometimes people have a hard time with him because of it. I've yet to see it, but okay.

Alex is another friend of mine, got engaged to my dear Micro Psycho on Sunday. We've known each other since I started going to FCC. He's occasionally referred to as, "All-American redneck farmboy." Not a comment on his intelligence, but rather his size and his approach to problem solving. He's big, he's strong, and if there's a practical solution to a problem, he'll go directly to it and not care if anyone's offended. Generally a pretty friendly guy, but nobody's doormat. We like Alex. Useful to have around if you want a small piano or hay bale dropped on someone, or your back cracked.

Liz is sweet, petite, and a little bit random - she's in show choir with me. I don't know her as well as the guys, mostly because she's a newer person in my life, but really, it's hard to NOT like Liz. She has a genuinely cheerful attitude that prevails in almost every situation, and she's darn cute. She and Rob are also engaged.

Coincidentally, all three of them live in the same house. Well, Alex rents from Rob, and there's some chaos in Liz's world that just made it sensible for her to be living with her fiance. Or something. So, Rob's house.

The rest of this story is almost entirely from Rob, with bits from Liz and a few things from Alex's fiancee, as I see her more often than I see him. Particularly since the event.

3:30 a.m., Rob wakes up because Liz's dog is barking. He half turns over to get up and see what's up, then the dog stops. Waits a minute to see if there's anything more, shrugs, and then turns back to go to sleep, throwing an arm over Liz as he does so. He makes a point of mentioning this last bit - why?

Because Rob knows that I know that his reflexes, whether in spite of or because of his condition and a few surgeries, are rather stellar. Startlingly stellar, really. And a minute later, when a 4'x8' section of sheetrock fell out of their ceiling over them, it cracked over Rob's elbow, where he'd gone into a protective stance over Liz.

It's been ruled a natural gas leak. The immediate wall between the bedroom and the backyard was largely missing, so Liz and Rob crawled out. Rob could only make it so far, and Liz dragged him the rest of the way to the edge of the yard (I did mention, she's little), where they both collapsed.

Alex has other problems. He's trapped in his room, the floor above Liz and Rob. He managed to break the window and dive through it, and found the rest of his housemates. He carried Rob to a neighbor's house, and another neighbor carried Liz.

The house is obliterated. Photos of it show the frame of Rob's Cruiser inside the frame of his garage - nothing else. The rest of the house is simply gone.

Alex's truck is okay, as he'd parked it on the street, and Rob apparently had his phone in a pocket. Everything, absolutely everything else, is gone. I amend that - Alex went back to the site yesterday and found Liz's engagement ring in the backyard.

Every other house on the block was evacuated because of the high gas levels, but fortunately there haven't been any more fires. Yesterday, Rob and Liz went to get their eyeglasses replaced, and today they're moving into an apartment not far from where he (and I) work. The chair that was custom-made was lost in the explosion (he doesn't use it in the house - he keeps it in his car), but fortunately his best friend has his original at her house, and she's bringing it up today.

We've been calling back and forth since it happened, and we share the same sentiment - it's bad, but at least they're alive. We're so, so thankful that they're alive. Everyone's saying that it's a miracle that they got out of there. Rob has some ice burns from being dragged, Alex has some scratches from the window and the landing, and I'm not sure about Liz, but they're alive. It's also great talking to Rob, because he's one of those people who's a blended pragmatist and philosopher. His general take on the whole thing is a very calm, "Taking it a day at a time," and at this point he's just getting tired of retelling the story. It's also great because Liz is there with him, and despite how scary the ordeal was, she's now back to being cheerful and finding things to laugh at in the world.

Rob's already talking about rebuilding on the same site, just clearing everything out and starting new. He tends to enjoy construction projects, and he also has this belief that the fire's not going to kick his butt and make him move. He makes me laugh, and it feels so good to laugh with him again, even knowing that it could have happened that we'd never talk with each other again.

"Treasure one another in the recognition that we do not know how long we shall have each other."
-Joshua Loth Liebman

Tony's care blew up today. He has first and second degree burns.

 

 

And no one could even say, "Wow, what a shame."

 

But you could all stop in and gawk at the pictures.

 

I'm disappointed in you.