Expectations @ MindSay

OOHHHHHHH boy expect some changes. Either a lot of people are really going to like the things I'm going to do, or a lot of people are going to hate me. Either way my motto for this year is "I don't give a fuck what you think!" It has a nice ring to it, no? This year is all about me for once. I'm going to make sure that all the things I want accomplished are going to get accomplished before anyone else's needs. Sound a bit selfish? Not really. It's not that I won't be taking the time to help others, it's just they will be coming second. ;)

And for those that won't be liking what I'm doing, they can stuff it for all I care. I'm all goosebumply just thinking about all the things that are going to get changed....some devious, others deserved, all of them: needed. This year it's all about making and meeting my OWN expectations. I'm tired of trying to please everyone else and leaving myself to rot away. It's not going to happen this year.

I'm also ending this thread with ZOMBEHHSS!!! I just watched Resident Evil: Degeneration I had the greatest joygasm ever. This movie is what ALL the resident evil movies should have been like. All computer generated characters from the game, an excellent storyline, kick-ass fight scenes, a believable plot makes this movie THE GREATEST RESIDENT EVIL MOVIE OF ALL TIME!! FUCK YEAH SEAKING!

Today's philosophical (and practical) question:

What makes Celebrations Successful?

I have never been dubbed "Greatest Hostess" in my life!  lol  I tend to do "my thing," fulfill my responsibilities, and let the chips fall where they may ... sort of.  I'd really like to do up for Christmas because it may well be the last time all 4 of us will be together for a time.  With soldiergirl awaiting deployment and my oldest preparing to enter the Army, next year is up for grabs.  So ... ideas, please?  How can I help make this holiday season extra special ... on a budget!  lol

Thanks in advance! 

I often tell people that if they expect less they'll be more satisfied with whatever they do get... and that it's expecting stuff that causes our own distress at not getting them, so in some ways it's our own fault! Expectations tie other people down unfairly and I suppose this is all true.

Although I'd be lying if I said I was free of expectations. It's like when it comes to people being people + psychological things I set the bar very high. Most people do put in as much as I do, and I still appreciate that, but I only associate with good people. I suppose it filters out the bad ones... but it makes me conflict sometimes to try to sort things... because I am unable to accept stuff being not right... I think it's because others can't either and it's not pleasent for them... and really it should be right and everything... people like my dad tell me to just accept and submit completely to those in power under the blind faith of them "knowing better" - but although giving up the fight might bring peace on that level things would still be wrong and they would go unchalenged, and it'd get out of hand - everyone has limits to how much wrong crap they're willing to tollerate, so rebellion is almost an in-built safety mechanism

Today many thoughts go tumble and rumble in my brain, the old and the new. So I’ve decided to gather them up (as quickly as I can remember them) and put them together in this piece.

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PREJUDICE

 

“You can’t judge a person by what the rest of his race has done. Every country or race has its darkness. But I want to go out to the world and not be judged for darkness which doesn’t concern me as a person. If some may have been called ‘thieves’--- I must say that doesn’t make me a thief too just because my color or religion is the same as theirs. Is their family the same as mine? Were they raised in the values my parents brought me up with? Do they read the same books I read? Do they think the way I do? Or feel my feelings? Do they like pizza with sardines and mushrooms and loaded with fresh tomatoes and green peppers on it with tons of mozzarella cheese? I don’t think they do or risk a stomach ache! So even if we were of the same color, they certainly positively definitely are -- not me or I them.” ----- I wrote this in freshman high school and this left my old withered ultra-conservative teacher dumbstruck with horror. She thought it too strong. Is it?

EXPECTATIONS

 

I start out with a set of expectations for every new experience coming my way. But almost always these expectations get dumped or brushed aside because something else is being formed or brought forth holding its own distinct wonder and flavor. So if I so stubbornly held on to my expectations, it would have come out in a far different way. It would then be something that was according to ‘my’ wants, ‘my’ set of parameters or conditions, and ‘my’ desired results. Where is the thrill in that? ‘Expectations’ rob the thrill off a new experience. Yes, they do. And if you’re going to say that one can’t detach himself from having expectations on anything new, I’ll say yes to that, but…..let those expectations be tempered with knowing that things will happen when they happen without any help from you. So don’t try to color it with setting down expectations, yours, for it to arrive at ‘your’ desired results. Let the new experience ride. Let it reveal to you its wonder, beauty, joy, magic, adventure, delight, wisdom, truth in its own distinct way. Let it perhaps squeeze out of you feelings which you may have forgotten or have chosen to ignore. Let it alter some old preconceived notions about things and people and make you see that perhaps you have been wrong about them after all? Expectations are good but don’t let it stand in the way of wonder and learning.

IN LIFE THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES

 

A big yes to that one. You can’t really be too sure that your job would last you forever (can you?), that nothing will go wrong, that it won’t rain on your parade, or that your fortunes will stay strong, or that your health will not fail one day, or that no one will oppose your plans, or that your daughters will marry good men (ugh! Wish I knew). There is no guarantee that it won’t. So if that is the case, why continue with this business of living? Well, for the simple reason that because of its uncertainties, we are thus pushed to enjoy what we have ---do what we can with what we have now. There is wisdom in that. That means then to do whatever it is you do now with everything you’ve got. Be the best. Give it your best shot. Value the people you are with and treasure every precious moment that goes by. Relish beauty where you find it. Learn well whatever there is to learn. Love well when love finds you. So if and when one day things do go wrong cause there’s no guarantee that it won’t, you can look back with a smile and say ‘I did my best’…. And best is always good.

LIFE IS A POT OF STEW

 

Do you know what goes in a pot of stew? I’m not a cook but I can see that bits and pieces of all sorts go into it. You’ve got meat, vegetables, spices, water, etc. And it all gets mixed up together and the fire cooks it up to just right. So is life. We too get all bits and pieces of all sorts of things and experiences which get intertwined in our lives each day. We get knocked up and down and around in that mix which then makes us lose our bearing or hold in life. Easily we can lose ourselves in it. But wait! It doesn’t happen for no good reason. Look hard, think hard. Every bit of what may seem ‘scrap’ to you – bits here and there – are actually lending interest to the whole of things. Get it? Those odds and ends are just the spice that livens up your life. Every different thing in that odd mix makes its own contribution to the whole effort --- life! And what creates it into a delicious whole? Attitude – it’s the fire that cooks it up to just right. It helps us appreciate hidden beauty and truths, makes us see where true value lies, and teaches us to delight in the way it all blends up to create a delicious sumptuous pot of stew. Yes, life is a pot of stew .. a scrumptious one.

Okay, my pen rests at this point. :-)  Bye for a bit! Blessings!

I just channel-surfed my way onto the opening credits for "Whose Wedding Is it Anyway?" and was confronted with the following voice-overed declaration:

"This is your one day to express yourself."

What a horrible sentiment! As if brides aren't already under enough self- and socially-imposed pressure, now they're being told that they'll never have any opportunity for self-expression outside of their wedding day. What if you never get married? No self-expression for you. The wedding industry lines its pockets by planting these suggestions in the minds of vulnerable brides-to-be, who are presumably new to the wedding-planning game and willing to spend huge amounts of cash to meet real or perceived expectations. Who needs the pressure of being informed that you have an eight-hour window in which to show the world exactly who you are?

I'll be honest -- I began the wedding-planning process with loads of excitement, but before long got overwhelmed and came to hate it. I'm a perfectionist and a little (ok, highly) obsessive, and the stress of planning a wedding and a cross-border move brought out the worst of my neuroses. It's kind of funny in hindsight, but at one point I was so overwhelmed I actually crawled under my bedsheets in a panic mid-day, trying in vain to shut it all out. I've always been a champion sleeper, but would wake in a cold sweat from nightmares of a half-done wedding. Looking back, I wish I had enjoyed the process more, but by some miracle, despite the officiant showing up half an hour late and the guitarist arriving without the extension cords he needed to perform at our outdoor ceremony, the wedding came together last-minute and was the antithesis of the horrible planning process. Focussing on that allows me to block out all the blood, sweat and tears that went into it (I honestly don't know how I would have recovered if I had put all of that energy into it and had an equally traumatic wedding day to match).

Wow, I'm feeling dangerously expressive for someone who's already had her one kick at the can. :)