Eviction @ MindSay

One day I will look back over previous entries and remind myself how fortunate I have been. Yes I would love to write that I have the house to myself, but I would be lying. I would love to write that I have kept a perfect attitude, knowing this is all going to be over soon, but that would be another lie.  What I have done in my absence is continue with the process of eviction, filled out more complaints of harassment and  made sure I protect myself, both physically and mentally.

So many things have occurred since my last entry that I don’t know where to begin, I guess I will simply give a list and be done with it.

Mr, Howard took the pleasure of urinating on a new sectional less than 10 feet from the bathroom

changed the locks to both his private entry as well as the door that leads from his bedroom to the living room

Finally figured out why the music was so loud, Mr. Howard decided to drill speakers directly beside the air vent in his room (go figure it of course go’s through the entire house).

Still no payment since May ( New Jersey has a cap of 3,000.00 for civil suits so don’t know if I will be able to get all money due as far as utilities/theft and damages done in he residence)

I could continue to go on, but no one reading this will be my judge and see in my favor, so I will do the only thing I can…continue to know that nothing stays hidden in this life and the truth always come out. Please continue to pray for myself and Mike Howard, our next court date is this Friday the 8^th. I am praying that the eviction will be enforced and this chapter in my life will be over.

FYI the Nina Simone and Smokey are great. I don’t take any chances leaving them loose in the house or the backyard after he let them out, but other than that they are great.

I hate moving.  It's not the packing or loading, it's just the idea of having to move to a new place, a place I'm not sure is where yet.  I seem to always be looking for "home" and not finding it.  I'm tired of renting places and being under the heel of landlords.  I'm equally tired of living in a city where all my old friends are gone and I am weary of the idea of returning to Milwaukee where I'd have to face walking down all the familiar places I once frequented with my old friend Drew.  Maybe I just need to be in an entirely new place and start completely over and experience adventure again.  What I'd love to do is be completely free, to live out in the wilderness somewhere, become a hermit, or just own a house I can really call my own.  Yet I don't know the slightest thing of how to own a home.  All I know is I am homeless even when I have a place to stay.

Home to me is more than just a place.  Yet how will I ever find it without money?  Or friends?  Or help? 

The packing is going slowly this weekend.  I got another letter from the landlady.  Her father is taking me to court.  I worry now that I will never have the credit to own anything or ever get a decent job.  Without credit, I am screwed, so many companies now look into your credit record.  I could be an excellent employee but with bad credit, I give the impression I am dishonest and untrustworthy.  It's like the end of my life before I can live it.  I wonder why anyone would bother taking me to court anyway.  I don't have anything to give up now.  If I were living in a previous century, I'd surely be in debtor's prison or selling myself on the street for bread and shelter.  What sort of life am I living now?  I've been evicted so often, I can't see a way out of it.  As I search for new apartments, my heart sinks because the rent seems to keep getting higher and I have no means at this time to pay even a security deposit.  It's times like these I feel like a big loser -- the kind of loser who has no right to own anything, like my life is ending prematurely all because I haven't yet found a way to serve some purpose in the world, or like I'm a cockroach scurrying here and there living in places that belong to others.  It makes me feel disgusted with myself. 

For over a year now I've been unemployed.  No one seems to want to hire me and I'm weary of being rejected everytime I turn in an application.  I am a very talented person, sure, but why aren't people around here giving me a chance?  All I've got is the comic book job but that is freelance and now I can only get paid from that project once it's done.  My credit is a disaster.  I do not have a bank account.  I have no major assets.  For nearly a year and a half I have lived in a basement apartment that I never put a security deposit on.  The landlady let me move in and stay there knowing full well I did not have a job and had no secure means of obtaining a future income.  I literally have nothing to give her.  I'm not the only person she's let stay in her home for practically free.  She's a good person who seems to sacrifice herself a lot to friends in need, but now I'm being accused of taking advantage of her.  Thing is, I moved into debt to her from the very start, and I will be moving out in debt to her still.  This just seems like a no-win situation for everyone.

I have til the 17th to get out or face a forced eviction by police.  Somehow I have to get my brother to front me the money and the energy to help me put my possessions in storage.  He's willing to put me up for the next couple weeks, but once again I'm living in debt to another person and that means no freedom.

When will things get better?  Dare I hope for the better?  I've just found myself too often in this situation.  Makes me wonder if I will ever live totally on my own for good.

Meanwhile there are empty boxes that need filling and a mess of stuff to get rid of and I can't help but feel the burn of that burden.   

If you know how I can find a way out of this, let me know.

My tweener assclown neighbors had another friggin' party last night.  (Why Thursdays?  Why?)  At half-past midnight, they're out in the front (where the window of my bedroom faces), drunk (of course), and singing!  Loudly, of course.  And badly... though that should go without saying.

I was just on the verge of calling the cops when they went back inside.  I think I'm going to have to talk to the landlord about them, because having the cops come won't mean shit to them.  But the threat of eviction might.

Tonight I'm taking part in... believe it or not... a speed dating event.  No, I really don't know why.  I find the whole enterprise a bit weird.  But I got in for free, so the only unpleasant part should be the drive out to Folsom during the heaviest period of traffic of the week.

I only have the most general ideas of what to expect from this, but I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude toward it.  I've brushed up on the do's and don'ts, per the website.  (Don'ts include things like giving out your full name, or any contact information.)

Naturally, I'll give a full report within the next few days.

Wednesday night was the monthly Sac-Poly social event at the Blue Cue.  As usual, it was much fun.  I again played well.  Not as many brilliant shots as the previous event, but also fewer shitty ones.

Shan brought her camera and took a ton of pics of me.  One of them should certainly work as my new publicity photo.  We'll see, after she sends them to me next week.

And speaking of Sac-Poly, another member of the group, who actually lives in Nevada, is coming to town this weekend (weather permitting) to meet me in person.  We've been emailing for a while, and it's a bit of an unusual situation.  (Unusual situations?  With Cardigan?  Naaaahh...)

We're sort of helping each other out with our dating skills.  We both admittedly suck at it, so we've been giving each other tips on our email communications, etc.  It's been helpful, I think.  So we're taking the next step: meeting in person.  Now, if she were local, this would entail getting together for a regular ol' date, whilst still giving each other feedback, of course.  But because it's a long drive for her, she'll be spending the night.  (I knew that inflatable mattress would come in handy.)

Tomorrow night is Sacramento's "Second Saturday" Art Walk, and I've never done that.  So Cheryl and I will hit some galleries, have dinner, etc.  It may be a weird scenario, but whatever.  We get along fine online, and I see no reason we won't in person, too.

Ermm...

I have to agree with Craig (sorry Leander), about the 'Free Day's' Just why are they called 'free' i know we dont pay or anything, but if they were free, why do we bother coming? To get the chance to watch a film we have seen 10 times? To play endless games of Hangman? Be taken to the library to read? Why do we bother coming?

Anyway, moving on! 1 DAY LEFT!!!!

Big Brother eviction tomorrow! Who goes, you decide!