Enron @ MindSay



 

   
My Life - With 'Cows'

Just a little Bovine humour for my Mindsay peeps. The definitions of various political styles, as they relate to ... cows:

 

 SOCIALISM
 You have 2 cows.
 You give one to your neighbour.
 
COMMUNISM
 You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both and gives you some milk.
 
 FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
 
NAZISM
 You have 2 cows.
 The State takes both and shoots you.
 
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away...
 
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
 
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
 
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
 
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder
who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
 
THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.
 
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads, because you want three cows.
 
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
 
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
 
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
 
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
 
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
 
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
 
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
 
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
 
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
 
A GREEK IDEALISM
You sit down at the Symposium and philosophise for five thousand years why there are two cows.
You still don't know.
 
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
 
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
 
 
 
   
 

Government & Business alone in bed together? What's that poking me?

I kind of keep a side-view eye on what is going on - I have too many things in my own life requiring my direct attention. It's been intriguing to say the least, listening to what has been happening and being said about regulating and controlling the direction internet service will be managed. From what I've been hearing, this will benefit business far more than anyone else --- of course, here we go, monetizing what started out as the freenet. This is just like the time Tesla discovered free energy and his discoveries were squirreled away by the government. The tycoon that funded the research was livid that Tesla didn't create a power source that could be metred out to generate income. People must pay! And here we go again with what started as the freenet.

 

I remember when I worked in I.T. at Canada Post (60,000+ employees) back in the day - geez, started there 20 years ago this fall. First there was no desktop computers, then a Mac came along, then a PC, and before you knew it these same business bastards that refused to change are jumping on the band-wagon. Initially, there was no interest, inclination, or belief that desktop computing held any merit. Admittedly, for a pragmatic s.o.b~usinessman it's difficult to envision a computer that is housed in a building at least the size of gymnasium now being on a desktop. I can give them some compassion for their disbelief. However, those same ole s.o.b~usinessmen are the one's who insisted that the internet would never be anything more than it was as a research and public play-toy. It had no business value beyond email communications according to  many minds.

 

Well, of course, the visionary dreamers began to tinkle with what was there. They leapt at opportunities to explore and create, and before you know it, there are people beginning to earn a living through offering services via the net. Ever since, the cancerous business growth demanding profit, profit, profit, and performance, performance, performance has taken a strong hold of the once beautiful freenet.  I'm struck by a metaphor that I must introduce to make this next statement.

 

The people and the government are a marriage made in heaven. We give our hand in marriage to our  leaders to guide us through the landmines of business, politics, fiscal management, world affairs and security. It never fails though, promises were made, the vows given, and the bitch (or bastard - who knows, maybe they're gay and like to fuck - could explain the resistance to approve gay marriage) is in bed with the s.o.b~usinessmen before you know it. I think the s.o.b~usinessman has a big dick though and somehow, while we were sleeping, that bitch of a government system opened the back door: Now we're getting the shaft! 

 

I'm playing with metaphors, not choosing sides in the battle of the sexes here so keep your knickers from getting bunched up if it bothers you - this is about the relationship we have with government, government has with business, and what business does to us.

  • Who is really winning?
  • Who really is in control of our countries?
  • Who really has a voice?

Any ideas how to rein these beasts back into line?

  • Government is the people - right?
  • Government is for the people - right?
  • Government protects the people - right?

  • Business is the vehicle that feeds, clothes, and monetizes a barter system for the survival and betterment of all - no?
  • Business is here to serve people, not for people to serve business - yes?
  • Business is faceless, a non-entity, has no need for food, shelter, clothing - am I wrong?

I'm just wondering... that's all.

 
 
 

   
An Interesting Thought
Here's an interesting story.  Enron founder Ken Lay passed away today at the age of 64.  He died of a sudden heart attack while vacationing with his wife in Aspen.  You may remember that he was recently convicted of fraud and was scheduled to be sentenced, probably to many years in prison, in October.  If you're interested, you can read the whole story here.

So here's my thought... Lay maintained his innocence throughout the entire trial, and after it right up until his death.  He was declared guilty, but he maintained his innocence.  He was in good health, but suddenly died of a heart attach between the trial and the sentencing.  Is it possible that he knew he was guilty, and it was simply too much to handle?  Is it possible that his body simply couldn't keep up with the charade his mind was living anymore?

A similar thing happened here at school last year.  It was uncovered that Otterbein had conferred degrees on many students based on credits that were transferred from what turned out to be a degree mill.  It became clear that a certain person high in the school administration was probably aware that this was going on, and it caused quite a scandal.  Very soon thereafter, he passed away of a heart attack.  Perhaps the weight of knowing what had happened and holding it inside for so long had simply become too much.

I just thought this was interesting.  What do you all think?
 
 
   
 

Enron Founder Kenneth Lay Dies at 64

Enron Corp. founder Kenneth Lay, who was convicted of helping perpetuate one of the most sprawling business frauds in U.S. history, died Wednesday of a heart attack in Colorado. He was 64.

The Pitkin, Colo., Sheriff's Department said officers were called to Lay's house in Old Snowmass, Colo., shortly after 1 a.m. Mountain time. He was taken to Aspen Valley Hospital, where he was pronounced dead at 3:11 a.m. Lay, who lived in Houston, frequently vacationed in Colorado.

Family spokeswoman Kelly L. Kimberly issued a statement saying, "Ken Lay passed away early this morning in Aspen. The Lays have a very large family with whom they need to communicate. And out of respect for the family, we will release further details at a later time."

Pastor Steve Wende of First United Methodist Church of Houston, said in a statement that church member Lay died unexpectedly of a "massive coronary."

Wende said Lay and his wife, Linda, were in Colorado for the week "and his death was totally unexpected. Apparently, his heart simply gave out."

Lay was scheduled to be sentenced Oct. 23. He faced decades in prison.

 

 
 
 

   
Breaking News...

Okay.  I was trying not to complain about this.  But I have to get it off my chest.

 

You all know how closely I followed the Enron trial.  The day the verdict was announced, May 25th, also happened to be the day Taylor Hicks won American Idol.

 

Later that day, I was flipping through the news channels, curious to hear the thoughts of the different news networks.  I think this day can also go down in history as the first time I...  A) actually *wanted* to hear what Joe Scarborough had to say, and B) willingly put on Fox News.

 

But neither network mentioned the Enron trial...not at all.  What were they devoted to?  AMERICAN FUCKING IDOL.

 

Even CNN's Nancy Grace - A FUCKING SHOW ABOUT CURRENT COURT CASES - had little to no coverage of it.  She interviewed some 90-year-old retiree who said he was glad for the verdict.  Man, that'll make you think.  Way to get some in-depth, provocative reporting there.

 

I'm all for escapism.  I understand that we need distractions or we go crazy.  You could argue that the Enron trial was my own form of escapism.  But you know what?  Do we really need all our major news networks covering a fucking reality show?  Is it THAT IMPORTANT?  Don't we already *have* a network devoted to Entertainment news?  Do any of the pundits actually care about American Idol?  Do you really think Bill O'Reilly was at home, sending repeated text messages on his cell phone to vote?  (Of course not, he was too busy watching that video Jenna Jameson sent him). 

 

It just drives me crazy when news that actually has some sort of wide-spread significance in society is pre-empted by pointless drivel like American Idol or reports that Angelina Jolie's baby cries a lot.  I think one of the problems in our society is that it's *too* easy to turn off anything that requires intelligent thought or discourse and immerse ourselves into a warm, happy cocoon of crappy, formulaic movies, banal, humorless sitcoms, and magazines devoted to taking pictures of anorexic celebrities.  Maybe if people paid a little more attention to things that were actually going on in the world, we'd have educated debates about things like the war in Iraq and Illegal Immigrants, instead of hearing "Kill 'em all" and "Build a fence."

 
 
   
 

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