Engagement @ MindSay 
marriage
My ramblings in this diary have been few and far between to say the least. I can't complain right now, my boyfriend and I got engaged the end of May so we are busy planning a wedding for next June. I am so happy to have found someone who is also my best friend.
My job has been pretty much the same. My boss works in a satellite office so I am not micromanaged so I am at least happy about that. I am not happy that they have frozen our wages and reviews are coming up soon. I guess I should feel lucky that I have a job.
The drinking has been better. There are times when I drink too much but they're not often. I hate getting up the next morning and feeling like ass. Also I have realized there is more out there than alcohol and drinking all the time gets really boring. I am striving to make improvements one step at a time.
When we told them that it will be July 11, 2009.
And they confirmed this information twice.
What they also confirmed for us twice was that their dresses would be ready in four weeks, with plenty of time before the wedding.
Now I'm not saying that ALL employees from ALL the David's Bridal shops are incompetent buffoons whose parents are blood relatives, but really: it's your wedding. Why would you trust it to some stupid fuckup who can't even count to 10, using all of their fingers?
Do yourself a favor. If you're getting married- don't go to David's Bridal. They suck. Go somewhere else.
As most of you know, I have lived in Utah just over a year. We moved into our apartment around February 11th last year, and have since gotten settled into a great home missionary church, situated thirty minutes away, in Ogden. Our town is Brigham City, and is beautiful, surrounded by mountains.
Although our church is still small in attendance, my husband has been named the Associate pastor, since our pastor says he has too much wisdom and experience to just be the assistant. It is not a paid job, but we are paid more by the satisfaction of doing the Lord's work. I am the music director, and am happy to do what I can, as well. I don't want to be like the man with the one man who buried his talent in the ground and got thrown into darkness for not at least trying to use it!
Our three children still live in Kentucky and of course we miss them like crazy, although we do hear from them, and see them from time to time. My son, Royden, who just got married in October is the only one who has not been able to visit us since we moved here...you know how it is, taking on a new wife, and she does not work outside the home.
But Bobbie, my eldest, came last summer, and we had a great time. Liza-Anne, the middle child, came to visit us in December, and as well as having a great visit with us, went out on a date with our pastor's son, Robert, thinking that he would be boring and too shy to be interesting, but when out of the company of others, he ended up having a lot to say, and needless to say, they hit it off. They kept up (seemingly endless) contact by phone and texting, and he flew out to see her over Valentine's. Then he sent her a ticket to visit him during her spring break (she is a middle school teacher) and proposed to her, and she accepted. So she is moving out here in June and they are getting married on July 11th!
Whew! Talk about a whirlwind romance! But when God is in something, there is no need to wait, and it will solve her housing situation as well, with her going straight from our place to her husband's apartment. Please pray that she will get a great job that she will be very happy in, in Ogden, where they will be living and going to church. She has a great singing voice, is starting to play the piano, and a great many talents to bring to the church, and we are excited to be having one of our children living close by, and in the future, our grandchildren!
We are going to try and fly our son and daughter out for the wedding, which will be simple ceremony in the Botanical Gardens. I hope their spouses and my parents get to come, but we will understand if they don't make it. He is inviting his biological family (he is an adopted son of our pastor's family) from far and wide, too, even if they don't make it. I am very excited but nervous as well, since there will be a lot of prep involved.
I ask that you all say a prayer for me in this regard as well. When my daughter got married, I just put money into the hands of capable, willing people who did everything, including the food for us, and this time, I will have to do most of the work myself. I pray for the help of the Lord and perhaps a good friend who knows how to decorate, to lend me a hand.
Anyway, as you see, I am attaching a photo of her beautiful ring, and of the newly engaged couple. I had to edit this to say, so sorry that her ring did not turn out clearly. It is beautiful marquis shaped champagne diamond with smaller diamonds all around it.
Love you all; will try to update more often.
My ex-boyfriend is African-American. I happen to be multiracial, of partial Caribbean ancestry. His younger sister is also mixed but doesn't quite look it, with the exception of having the stereotypical "mixed" curls. She looks and behaves like a stereotypical AA...just that she appears to be mixed with some type of Hispanic/Latin strain. Her mother has curly red hair and green eyes.
My ex and pretty much everyone in his family was very dark. They were all black, both in phenotype and culture. They also had issues when it came to skin color. His father is a nice person, but suffers from delusions of his own ideas about the way other people should identify. This is a person in his 60's who talks about "good hair" and makes some extremely foolish statements. We still talk on the phone once in a while. I like him as a person. He doesn't mean anything by it, he's simply uneducated. He is nicer than his son (my ex), but I cannot deal with people who say things that make no sense.
My ex's mom had some pretty severe problems, too. My ex's father (her husband) once told me that her grandmother was "whiter" than me, therefore I had no business calling myself mixed. Jessie thought she was light-skinned. She bleached her straightened hair platinum blonde and had the worst attitude. I'm sorry for talking about people, but she was a conceited bitch. My life has been slightly better since I decided to not deal with destructive/toxic influences anymore.
Speaking of which, this is something else that bother me...another pet peeve of mine is when people feel like they have the right to ridicule me and make personal attacks like you wouldn't believe. Nearly EVERYONE I have come into contact with is like this. When my ex did it, it took the shape of verbal and emotional abuse. As much as I love my fiance, there's still that fear looming in the back of my mind that one day he'll be annoyed and lash out at me.
This is pretty much how my life has been. I have no friends besides my fiance. I've learned to accept the fact that I'm simply unlovable and unworthy to most people. My whole life, it has been painfully obvious.
I can't speak my mind because no one cares or understands my point of view. I've lost so-called "friends" because they decided that they were better than me, I was weird, etc....they had all kinds of excuses (oops, I meant REASONS) as to why they didn't want my friendship anymore.
Randall said that I'll meet people when I switch to my new university campus. Hopefully I will...but I've learned to not expect too much. FIU is really no different from high school. I'm in the middle of finals this week. I just want school and my shitty life to be over. Seriously.
What I like about my fiance is the fact that he isn't cruel. He can be a bit insensitive to my needs, he treats me like a kid, but he isn't a cruel person. He has never really tried to hurt me intentionally. That is what I value most in him. I wonder if we're compatible sometimes because he doesn't always get me. My other pet peeve is being misunderstood, BTW. I don't feel like he realizes my need for independence. I don't want to spend the next 5 to 10 years rotting away in Florida. Vancouver was so wonderful. I was so depressed when we had to leave. :(
He seems to think that school will be my ticket out of this insanity. I'm not sure. I've never met any truly nice people here that I can relate to. This was the ugly truth/harsh reality I had to face upon my return to Miami after only 3 days in Vancouver. I feel so lost and alone. Sure, I met a terrific guy last year and now I'm engaged. But the sadness never goes away. I never feel AT HOME anywhere. I never quite feel secure or loved. He helps me a little bit with his soothing words and the way he holds me. I just want a second chance at life. I want a stable home life, a loving family, children, pets.
I want to be a happy and productive person with something to look forward to. My mom is right...I'm still VERY hurt by my stepfather's behavior towards me. Who wouldn't be?
I don't want to spend the next 20 years of my life being unhappy. I want to be able to confront my mistakes and my tormentors. I want a little country home that I can fill with babies, smiles, fun, knicknacks, and memories. I want to be able to feel settled. I need to know that I'll be OK. I want to help my mom with her problems. I need to know that I can be loved. I need to fill this void in my life with love and acceptance.
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