Engaged @ MindSay

Ryan proposed! I said yes! I will spare you all the boring details (or you can look on my facebook .. My name is Karolyn Fuller.. let me know if you're going to add me).

I've been really stressed recently, but I can't pick out anything specific to say what I'm stressed about. I've been losing sleep, and I've been gaining the missed hours of sleep when I get home from school, so then I'm up restless all night. It sucks. D: Sometimes, if I feel really down and low, I go to bed to forget about it and take it away.
I'm also doing a bit of research, to really see if I have a lot of symptoms of PTSD. Meh, we'll see. I've noticed that unfortunate memories of a recent past return to haunt me for hours upon end at night, when I'm lying in bed. I don't know how to erase them; unless I got a complete memory wipe... Half the time while I'm lying there I wish I could just get this "memory wipe" and forget about everything. But I can't. As much as I hate to accept it, it's what's helping me gain experience to continue to be empathetic and in relation to how somebody else feels. I've cried for the past few days now, but I can't tell you for what reason since I have been crying for no apparent reason.

I woke up this morning, and I grew depressed after conversing with mom how Academic English is overly difficult for my mind to handle. I might have to drop to the College level again, which will probably just discourage me.

One of my friends on an online forum I visit on a daily basis told me that "what happens is out of your hands, you're your own independent person and the respect you deserve is something you should think of getting. You sound so negative, but be positive, make new friends - and if people from your past goes off and does whatever, it's no longer your concern. It's their issue now. Don't worry about them."

My friend serves a strong point. Therefore, I'm currently going to continue leaving fragments of my past behind - and I don't care how long, or how painful, it is. I'm going to do it, even if I need aid from buddies. I need to learn how to stop being frozen in my past and I have to warm up to the future that lies ahead of me.
I have a lot of friends on that forum. And I love them all. ^^

But anyway. Not much happened today. As soon as I got at school, I felt instantly lightweight when I saw my friends by the main doors and all that.

For English tomorrow, we're going down to my school's theatre to watch a musical production my school's putting on which is called "McBraveheart". It's a parody off Macbeth, apparently. I'm awaiting it with great excitement. ^^

Musicals + Shakespeare (two of which I adore) = <3!!! :)

I've also gained a strange obsession with llama's now. XDD Thanks to "The Llama Song" (look it up on Youtube or something. XDD) And I was singing parts of it in Computer class and went out into fits of giddy laughter. But that's me for you. :)

And now... I will share a little part of it with you...

I was once a treehouse,
I lived in a cake,
But I never saw the way,
The orange slayed the rake!

LOL! XD I kept singing bits from it, and Becca thought there was something wrong with me. XD

News from... My relatives, I guess! XD Both of my cousins are now officially ENGAGED! :D I`m so happy for them!! ^^ But unfortunately, I don`t think I`ll be able to attend the wedding - since they live in Alberta. I'm only in Ontario. ^^
And the really cute news is, my cousin who has down-syndrome (he's like, 19 now or something) was asked to be the ring bearer guy for a wedding. Isn't that just cute? :)

Anyway, for school, we're getting course/option selection sheets sometime this week and we have to fill them out so the school will know what courses we want to take. I'm thinking about taking a course that has to do with studying the human mind, how it works, etc. But I don`t know. I`m going to look into it some more tonight. I`ll keep you posted, though. :)

Oh, and as you know, I`m reading Hamlet. I was scanning through certain bits and it's REALLY... Sexual. 0.o But, hey, that's Shakespeare for you! :)
But, I guess you'll just have to deal with it! >: D But don't worry, I'm not going to insert anything that seems OVERLY inappropriate. So don't worry. But really, I can't wait until I get this whole Hamlet/Ophelia POV started! :)

I woke up this morning at 8:30, and since I wake up usually an hour earlier to get ready for school, I started to panic. I opened my door, and I noticed my mom had her coat on - and she looked at me, and I started to panic, since I had an exam today. I started to freak out, and she told me that the buses were cancelled because of the amount of snow, so exams were going to be postponed until tomorrow. Then she told me to go back to bed, but hey, it's me - once I wake up, I CAN'T go back to bed. XD

It's still snowing now as I type this... I just love the look of snow. It's so pretty and beautiful. =3

I found out recently that my cousin is now ENGAGED! =D I'm so happy for him! ^^ I'm yet to figure out when the wedding date is, though. But still.

My youth pastor also invited my brother and I out to lunch yesterday. I agreed, and thought it was a good idea - he wants to catch up with us, and see how we're doing, and how everything's going and all that. He'll be taking us out on Friday afternoon. I'm not excited, and I'm unsure if I'm looking forward to it, but y'know, whatever. That's just me. It's the thought that counts, and hey, who doesn't enjoy a FREE LUNCH?! :)

Oh, and I noticed that this past week - my dad is really interested in applying for a job that involves working with sick people. You know, like talking to them, or something. Over the past year or so, my dad's been having work troubles - he can't get along with his fellow employees, due to some personal issues that I will not mention, and he keeps talking to my mother about looking into job applications with him online. It's a little odd, and I'm kinda on my toes. He keeps talking about moving, and he reassures me that it's just him who will have to move, or something like that.... But even so, I don't want my dad to move away...

It's also a goal of mine to finish Much Ado About Nothing throughout the course of the free time that I have off (which is four days). Then I'll take a break from reading for a few days, before I start a novel (it's a modern one, mind you!) that I got for Christmas from my dad. The old English is starting to get to my head. XD

I might as well take some time and write for a little while, since I haven't had much time to do that lately.
So, yep, my Science exam was SUPPOSED to be today - but it isn't. It's tomorrow. D: Oh well. ^^

Tom Brady is engaged.

 

I am heartbroken.  What a sad, sad day for me.

 

 

 

 

Ellen and Matt got engaged in Bermuda this past week.  Apparently, he had plans to propose on Thursday, but was acting weird/nervous, and was making Ellen weird/nevous, so he did it after dinner on Tuesday, so I guess I could have said 'a week ago'.

I don't know.  I love Ellen so much, that I read her message that she was engaged and I just started crying.  I love Matt, and I wish I knew him better, because he makes my Ellen so happy, and now, they're truly going to be together forever.  They make me so happy; I hope that someday everyone gets to meet someone they can give themselves to that completely.

Of course, the tears might be SLIGHTLY LINKED to the fact that I've spent the whole afternoon thinking/talking about how I don't have a job and might not be in New York this upcoming year, and how it's not looking good and how much I don't want to be up here, but it also isn't.  I'm done being selfishly involved in my own problems.  It hasn't gotten me anywhere.  Instead, I'm going to think about other people, and be truly happy for them, or really be there for them with things that aren't so great right now.