Emotional Wreck @ MindSay

   

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Song to Nam- "Damn It I Miss You"

I don't write songs often anymore, but yesterday some things came to me, I wrote them down, and then I finished it today. Everything in it is based off of real memories and things that actually happened, some of which I wrote about while they were happening and some I've written about sometime this week or even yesterday on blackmamba. I'm going to send this to him as well as the other entries I wrote yesterday. Please tell me what you all think. I know no one does anymore, but please. Thank you.

 

"What do you feel when you hear 'I Miss You' by Blink 182?

Do you reminisce and miss our good times like I do?

Have you seen the 'Geeks in Love' flash on Newgrounds.com?

Does it remind you why you once thought I was the one?

Do you see the eucalyptus forest in UCSD and think of me?

And do you still save the snails that roam a little too carefree?

 

Remember those warm April nights in the backseat of the Egg?

Remember caressing the cut that I scratched into my leg?

Remember the tremors you got every time you had to leave me?

Remember how we wanted the fates to just let us be?

Remember after the second time we saw Kill Bill Vol. 2?

Remember how happy you were when I said I wanted to be with you?

 

You're an asshole cuz you're better off without me

You're happy and it makes you a fucking jerk

You're a cunt cuz you don't need me like I do you

You're a bastard cuz god damn it I miss you!

 

Remember how incredible our summer was?

Remember how it was like heaven up above?

Remember all the awesome Vietnamese food you shared with me?

Remember how much I loved those avocado smoothies?

Remember in La Jolla, the two times I visited you?

Remember Sea World, the beach, and the Steinhart Aquarium, too?

 

You're an asshole cuz you're better off without me

You're happy and it makes you a fucking jerk

You're a cunt cuz you don't need me like I do you

You're a bastard cuz god damn it I miss you!

 

Remember all those lies that you started to bring?

Remember going to UC Irvine without saying a god damn thing?

Remember when our love lost its four leaf clover?

Remember how you betrayed my trust over and over?

Remember how much worse it's gotten since you dumped me?

Thank you for throwing me away like our used condoms!

 

You're an asshole for making me fall in love with you

You broke my heart and it makes you a fucking jerk

You're a cunt cuz you dumped me over my being crazy

You're a bastard cuz you added to my PTSD!

 

You added to my PTSD!

 

You're a fucking asshole for making me love you

Then you started to turn into him you god damn fucking jerk!

You're a cunt for giving me these good damn memories

You're a bastard cuz god damn it I miss you!

 

God damn it I miss you!

 

God damn it Nam, I miss you."

 

-"Damn it I Miss You" by me, Jennifer A. Ruiz

 
 
   
 

 

   
I feel it's time i disappear.....

"Life it seems will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye"

Metallica- "Fade to Black"

 
 
   
 

 

   
Two of My Favorite Bands

"Everytime I speak
Wipe away these tears
Living everyday in fear
Finding nothing but empty

Wide awake and dreaming
Is this what it seems?
Close my eyes forever
I'll wake up

Desperation strips me
These last days have not been free
Steeling evey breath from me
Whispering defeat

 

Wide awake and dreaming
Is this what it seems?
Close my eyes forever
I'll wake up

And I see it in your eyes
Long gone,
And I feel it in your heart
Long gone,
And I see it in your eyes,
Long gone

Long gone

 

Wide awake and dreaming
Is this what it seems?
Close my eyes forever
I'll wake up

Wide awake and dreaming
Is this what it seems?
Close my eyes forever
I'll wake up"

 

Kittie- "In Dreams"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"La la la la la la la la la la


I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
She came over I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
That's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay cause I've got no self esteem

Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah

Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah

Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah


We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
This rejection’s got me so low
She keeps it up I just might tell her so

Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah

Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah

Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah


When she's saying, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she saying, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care

Right?

Yeah

Now I'll relate this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no, but
It's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah

Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah

Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah

When she's saying, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care

Right?

Yeah"

 

the Offspring- "Self Esteem"

 
 
   
 

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Latest Comment
Re: I Left - you're right...there's more in the next blog.

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