Emotional Wreck @ MindSay 
emotional
I don't write songs often anymore, but yesterday some things came to me, I wrote them down, and then I finished it today. Everything in it is based off of real memories and things that actually happened, some of which I wrote about while they were happening and some I've written about sometime this week or even yesterday on blackmamba. I'm going to send this to him as well as the other entries I wrote yesterday. Please tell me what you all think. I know no one does anymore, but please. Thank you.
"What do you feel when you hear 'I Miss You' by Blink 182?
Do you reminisce and miss our good times like I do?
Have you seen the 'Geeks in Love' flash on Newgrounds.com?
Does it remind you why you once thought I was the one?
Do you see the eucalyptus forest in UCSD and think of me?
And do you still save the snails that roam a little too carefree?
Remember those warm April nights in the backseat of the Egg?
Remember caressing the cut that I scratched into my leg?
Remember the tremors you got every time you had to leave me?
Remember how we wanted the fates to just let us be?
Remember after the second time we saw Kill Bill Vol. 2?
Remember how happy you were when I said I wanted to be with you?
You're an asshole cuz you're better off without me
You're happy and it makes you a fucking jerk
You're a cunt cuz you don't need me like I do you
You're a bastard cuz god damn it I miss you!
Remember how incredible our summer was?
Remember how it was like heaven up above?
Remember all the awesome Vietnamese food you shared with me?
Remember how much I loved those avocado smoothies?
Remember in La Jolla, the two times I visited you?
Remember Sea World, the beach, and the Steinhart Aquarium, too?
You're an asshole cuz you're better off without me
You're happy and it makes you a fucking jerk
You're a cunt cuz you don't need me like I do you
You're a bastard cuz god damn it I miss you!
Remember all those lies that you started to bring?
Remember going to UC Irvine without saying a god damn thing?
Remember when our love lost its four leaf clover?
Remember how you betrayed my trust over and over?
Remember how much worse it's gotten since you dumped me?
Thank you for throwing me away like our used condoms!
You're an asshole for making me fall in love with you
You broke my heart and it makes you a fucking jerk
You're a cunt cuz you dumped me over my being crazy
You're a bastard cuz you added to my PTSD!
You added to my PTSD!
You're a fucking asshole for making me love you
Then you started to turn into him you god damn fucking jerk!
You're a cunt for giving me these good damn memories
You're a bastard cuz god damn it I miss you!
God damn it I miss you!
God damn it Nam, I miss you."
-"Damn it I Miss You" by me, Jennifer A. Ruiz
"Life it seems will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye"
Metallica- "Fade to Black"
What kind of person were you in your past life?
Suicidal Rocker
So your career...yeah that's a shame
Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!
"Everytime I speak
Wipe away these tears
Living everyday in fear
Finding nothing but empty
Wide awake and dreaming
Is this what it seems?
Close my eyes forever
I'll wake up
Desperation strips me
These last days have not been free
Steeling evey breath from me
Whispering defeat
Wide awake and dreaming
Is this what it seems?
Close my eyes forever
I'll wake up
And I see it in your eyes
Long gone,
And I feel it in your heart
Long gone,
And I see it in your eyes,
Long gone
Long gone
Wide awake and dreaming
Is this what it seems?
Close my eyes forever
I'll wake up
Wide awake and dreaming
Is this what it seems?
Close my eyes forever
I'll wake up"
Kittie- "In Dreams"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"La la la la la la la la la la
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
She came over I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
That's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay cause I've got no self esteem
Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
This rejection’s got me so low
She keeps it up I just might tell her so
Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
When she's saying, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she saying, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right?
Yeah
Now I'll relate this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no, but
It's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem
Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
When she's saying, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right?
Yeah"
the Offspring- "Self Esteem"
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