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Eastern Europe @ MindSay

mrfictitious

3 replies
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."Anne Frank Likes Mustard in Her Potato Salad."

.(Un-)Official plan meeting for the tentatively named Blood Fest in Eastern Europe:

."I've got like all this aggression, right? I--ok, well basically I got audited this year and really, like, really fucking pissed me off because I like trusted H&R Block and shit, you know? Whatever--fuck them. So I've been all like taking it out in my art and just feeling it through... like... you know... and, whatever." (Scratches head vigorously, leaving hair awry) "Dude, basically I don't care. I mean, there have to be a lot of tits. And like a fuck-ton of torture, you know? Probably, like, some bitches should die and shit. That was one of the fucking worst things, man... like my H&R rep was so fucking hot... and--"

.(Producers are obviously annoyed) "So, do you have a story?"

."What?"

."What's your idea? What's going to happen in the film?"

."Dude, don't call it a film. That's so fucking pretentious."

."WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS IN THE MOVIE?!?"

."I just fucking told you... calm the fuck down. Is it like time for your shot or something?"

.(Producers glare)

."Okay, see, I don't really care. Plot is like so unimportant. It's like so insignificant. I was thinking like college kids or something--"

."We've seen too many of those. I feel like this project--"

."But wait, you've seen like college kids on roadtrips and shit. College kids in America living the American fucking dream when someone comes and fucks up their little bubble, right? Basically, I think that's bullshit, right? It's like..." (stares at ceiling for about 5 minutes--producers blinking) "Like a backpacking trip in Europe, right? Kids do that shit all the time. Living the fucking American dream in a third-world country."

"What the fuck is this, Eurotrip 2?"

."No, dude... see, in Eurotrip they didn't mean to end up in Eastern Europe. It's like the whole joke, see? In this movie they mean to go there."

."And what happens to them in Eastern Europe?"

."It's fucking Eastern Europe, you know? Like Hungary or slovakia or one of those fucking-vakias... Like, some fucked up shit can go down there and people can just like get away with it."

.(Producers again stare blankly) What kind of shit? Look, that's all we want to know..."

.I don't know... like some tits early on, and then we can just start killing people off. I mean, they can like torture them for a long time. Some bitches would die. That would be like... pretty much it."

."So you want to make a snuff film?"

."Uh... Like... No, I think this is pretty much revolutionary... like its own thing."

."It sounds more like a snuff film..."

."Wait... no... see you just don't get it... I feel like you don't get me. Is that the fucking problem here? I mean, is this like too deep or some shit? Look, there's gonna be a story or something, I just don't deal with that in my movies. I mean, it's so insignificant." (awkward pause) "My cousin Eddie does paperbacks... like the dimestore kind, you know? He makes okay money. Like a lotta chicks buy his shit in the south. Anyway, he said he'd put something together for me. I trust him."

.(Very long, very awkward pause)

."Deal."
_____________
.Two weeks Later:

.Production for the newly titled "movie" Boarding House is finished.

.Tagline: "Pay ten buck to like watch people die and shit."