East Coast @ MindSay

Yesterday was wonderful. I got to spend pretty much the whole day with Laura, and while I love Natalie to pieces, Laura handles things and interprets things more similarly to the way I do. So Laura and I went to North Beach and hit La Boulange and got cafe--or in my case, chai (first picture). We ended up sitting outside La Boulange for at least an hour, just talking (pictures 2, 3, 4, and 5). We got talking about school (as we always do; school preoccupies the majority of our conversations) and what we wanted to do. I've already told her of my decision to pursue my degree in psychology, but I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go to school with that. But as we got to talking, I kept saying maybe I'll check out Boston U. She's considering going to the east coast in a few years, and we remarked how fun it would be if we were both on the east coast and could still get together rather frequently.

Anyway, the day continued, and we walked up to Coit Tower, which has a BEAUTIFUL view...I should have taken pictures there. I may have to go back. But we took a different route through the beautiful neighborhoods between Coit Tower and the waterfront. Their gardens are just...rich and flora-smelling and lush...and everything a good garden should be. Again...where was my camera?!

We got down to the waterfront and just...walked along, having more great conversation. I can't remember when the last time I had such...wide-ranging and deep conversation with anyone. This is partly why I love Laura so much. I know we think about the same things a lot, both have some of the same insecurities, and see life in a very similar way. It's so easy for me to explore my own thoughts, listening to hers.

We walked down the biggest tourist trap in the city (Pier 39) and watched the biggest attraction (the sea lions and the last picture) for a while. I love the sea lions. They're like a huge family. They squabble, they annoy one another, but they ultimately end up cuddling together and basking in the sun.

We pressed on, going to catch the cable car a few stops up from the waterfront stop, and rode the cable car back to Union Square. I love the cable cars. I've never ridden one before, but they're so much fun. It's so fun to hang off the side of these things and see the city whizzing by, but not so fast that you lose the city. Got back to Union Square, hopped the muni back to Sunset (where their apartment is), and rested our aching bones for a few minutes before walking down to the pizza place where Natalie works. Chatted for a few minutes, bought a slice for dinner, and headed back to the apartment.

I looked into Boston U, and it looks like a very plausible (if not expensive) place for me to transfer after Sierra. I want to get as much general ed done as humanly possible over the next two semesters, and maybe by the end of spring semester, I'll be ready to transfer in the fall of 2010. I've got two full semesters, plus a summer semester, and if it comes down to it, I could take classes the summer of 2010. I suppose I need to sit down with my counselor.

Anyway, whilst waiting for Natalie to get off work, we watched History Channel documentaries like the true geeks we are. We watched one on Roswell, which wasn't all that convincing but was still interesting, one on Area 51, which was much more convincing and even more interesting (note to self: look into the Bob Lazar story), and one on cannibalistic serial killers, notably Albert Fish, Andrei Chikatilo, and Jeffrey Dahmer. I got my geek fix for the week, although I imagine I'll be back for more very shortly. I love History Channel and Netflix's Watch Instantly. It's pretty much awesome.

Once Natalie got home, we watched 40 Days and 40 Nights, which was pretty funny, but still a mindless comedy involving a lot of sex jokes. But still fun.

And that, dear friends, was my favorite day, so far, in San Francisco. I miss home, but I'm still having fun. :)

I have been looking into several different universities, lately, and I have come up with a short list.

- USC

- Brooks Institute

- Northwestern

- Syracuse

- UNC - Chapel Hill

- Ithaca

Two in California, two in New York, one in North Carolina, and one in Illinois.

The biggest problem I am facing right now is trying to decide which universities are going to be the most suitable for what I want to major in.

Brooks Institute is at the top of the list right now, but they are really expensive, and don't have much accreditation.

My mom wants me to go to school on the East Coast, and while I've always wanted to live on the East Coast, going to university in California would keep me close to home, and close to friends.

My mom thinks that I shouldn't base my decision on closeness to friends and family, but I'm going to be completely separated from everybody that I know if I go to the East Coast.

My mind is in conflict, right now.

East Coast or West Coast?

I can't decide.

"You can only catch one at a time. They did the same thing to me." "The Boys" as we now referred to the two geldings, split up, circled and were standing together at the end of the corral confidently waiting for us to get into the middle before they pulled their favorite trick on us again.

"Okay. Only one in here with me at a time." My new clients were a young husband and wife, from the East Coast and had a habit of finishing each other's sentences. It was mostly him that said something and she finished it.

"Which one?"

"The pretty one, of course"

"Ladies first?" She smiled when I said "pretty".

"It's the code of the West, mam" 

"Don't let them hurt me . . . "

"No. I won't."

"Promise?" 

"Promise. No reason to get hurt. This will be fun from now on."

They were very apprehensive about catching the geldings and more so about riding them. They described to me everyone in the corral, horses running past them and it had gotten scary when they finally did corner a horse and try to put the halter on. I imagined the scene and then when they said three men had finally gotten the geldings haltered, I imagined too that it was a blessing these big horses hadn't hurt someone, or been hurt in the process.

Jennifer walked into the middle of the corral and The Boys did their thing. She stood up close to me as they rushed past, one going one way, then the other.

"Pick one" I looked down into unsure eyes and smiled just a bit . . . "Pick one". We kept the other one in our mind and faced the one closest to us. "Stay next to me and we'll do this together. That way you'll be able to do this yourself". I thought about my dad teaching me to catch a horse, all by myself, and heard myself saying the words just like he did. Several times the gelding ran past us, just as determined not to be caught, she was shy and intimidated, but she stayed close, even if it was behind me once or twice.  It was a bit before we got him to hold still.

"Don't stand directly in front of him. If he charged you, he'd run right over you. We're not going to fight him, we've got to get him to cooperate. Okay?"

"o-kay"

Persistence and a few deep breaths later and we got him to hold still . . . I had her come from behind me, stand to the side and slip the rope around his neck.

"Give it a second and slowly pull the rope down and get him to lower his head. That way he calms down a bit and the halter is at your height to put on."

"Oh, okay" 

"Don't reach up higher and higher to put the halter on."

"The guys did the last time."

"They were wrong. I'm right. Period"

"They said they knew horses."

"Is this easier?"

"Yes. Yeah, it is"

The first gelding was caught and she strutted, just a bit, as we led him to the rail . . . him on the lead and her hand gripping my arm for all it was worth. She tied him short and turned and gave me a squeal and a hug.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Kinda. More or less. Yeah"

"Okay, lets get the other one."

"Huh?  oooo-kay"

We took our time, and she kept tight to me, but didn't duck behind me once. It took awhile, but the second gelding lowered his head when she pulled steady on the lead and dropped his head for the halter.  Both were tied and Dan reached for the blanket and saddle.

"Not yet. We got a thing or two to check first". This was the beginning of what was to be the routine I would cover over and over with other clients. "No shortcuts, can't be in a hurry . . . no one gets hurt."  I felt Jennifer lean against me.

"Not as easy as it looks?"

"No. I just was so scared of them. I didn't know what to do."

"Well that's the point. If you're afraid you can't enjoy your ride. We'll sort it all out."

"I thought you were going to ride them for us, soften them up?"

"I rode them already, remember? If you want to ride, not be afraid of them, then I'll have to show you how. I can't tell them how to treat you."

"Oh. Well that makes sense, huh? So we get to ride with you? What IF I don't know what to do???"

It wouldn't be the last time I heard a client asking the question that was already on my mind. Sometimes I knew the answer, sometimes we needed to sort things out and give it a minute. Right now though I had a plan and everything was going fine. "No need to borrow trouble" my momma would say.

I'm starting to realize how stupid I've been for the past year.  I actually thought that I could still be friends with people that I was friends with two years ago.  But they've all changed into a bunch of east coast possers.  You know who you are.  Anyway, I'm not going to turn this into a sob story so this is the end of this post!

Dusty is out looking for a place to buy surfboard wax ("Only Sex Wax will do..."), and I've taken his computer into the lobby of our hotel to people watch.

We've decided where we're going next (I won't mention where), but we want to stay close to the beach for awhile. We'll use it as a security blanket before we enter into the unknown world of the west.

Although it's sunny out, it's still cold.

*****************

I don't really know what to write about, but I feel like I have an obligation to keep in touch.

Those few weeks where I didn't write, I felt like I was cheating some of my friends.

Especially those few girlfriends who don't know how to respond to my quiet intensity, and who would rather read what I'm thinking than have me speak it out loud.

By the way, Cam and Tiffany-I love you!! And I'm sorry I left-but I know you understand!

****************

Christopher, I heard, left Bethany last Thursday in a rage and took all his belongings with him. His brother actually called me and left me a message saying Chris was out looking for me.

But Christopher hasn't called me himself.

And I'm too much of a coward to say anything on his voicemail except, "We've had this conversation before, Chris. I'm still too young for settling. Stop trying to settle me. Don't tell Bethany about us. Remember me, baby."

I still have not yet said "I love you" to a single person I've dated. When I do, it'll be the end of something.

And I'm not ready for any ends.

********************

Dusty is wearing shorts in this cold. I can see him outside, fumbling with the hood of his Jeep, trying to find something in his glove compartment. His grey sweatshirt sleeves are rolled up near the elbows, and he has a paper bag in his left hand. He must have found the wax.

As he walks to the door, I can see the woman at the desk take a little quickglance at him. Even though it's February, he's tan and yellow haired (but not so white as in the summer), and his eyes reflect the sun.

He was born a beach baby.

*****************

Kaleb and I used to argue over the radio.

We would slap hands over the buttons, and resort to promises and threats just to get our own way. We would end up agreeing on a band we both barely tolerated-mostly Blink 182 or Fall Out Boy. We both hated sell-outs, but it was the only happy medium.

I would have to save the Garden State, Coldplay, Bob Dylan, White Stripes, Killers, and The Shins for times when I was alone. And I'm sure right when he got into the car, he would pop his favorite System of a Down cd into the player.

When Dusty and I ride together, we seem to fall into a music flow, where we put in the right CD as we cross some county border, and take the CD out when other sounds catch our attention.

We fight over other things, though.

I won't let him read this.

*********

I told Dusty to start his own blog, but he refuses to do it.

He's a good writer, but he likes to just keep things for himself.

He feels cheap if he writes things out, I think.

Because what you're thinking and feeling never translates exactly right onto paper.

I understand, but I have this need to try.

I'm so happy with what we're doing.

I suggest to everyone to run away at least once.

But make sure bring someone who's going to understand you.

And who doesn't fight over the radio with you.

 ****************

"They will see us waving from such great heights,

'Come down now,' they'll say.

But everything looks perfect from far away.

'Come down, now.'

But we'll stay."

---Garden State Soundtrack