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Dreams @ MindSay



 

   
a horse is a horse... and a best friend maybe

well, speaking of horses… I just saw this on the local news.  http://www.projecthorse.org/



it rescues/rehabs horses, and trains those animals to then help rehab people suffering with mental illness and such.  such a sweet story.  



 



it’s sparking my interest.  (which seems rare these days that anything piques my interest).  maybe I should get in contact with people that are already doing what I dream of doing. 



 



my far away, lofty dreams I pictured was building an animal sanctuary that would help with the community somehow.  I dismissed it as being another of my impractical ideas that would never get any traction.  I can hardly even wake up these days, let alone create something beyond my realm.  



 



This is a 180 from just earlier today.  



 



My circadian rhythms are non-existent and my body does not know day or night. 



been feeling lousy, stuck in the mud, eating mud, not caring I was covered in mud ..., ready to escape to Africa. for real.



cuz nothing is working out for me here. nothing is calling my name, everything is spitting in my face…     



 



Helping the truly impoverished… or just even living with the chimps might be a nicer way to live.  I was looking at a picture of an ape…  why did I find myself oddly jealous of this ape?  it was being hugged by his mommy.  



 



ughhh…  no one ever says, I wish I would’ve just been born in bush country Africa.  hmmm, I should’ve ran away from home at the very least.. oh, I actually do remember those thoughts of running away, now that I think about it. lol



 



Anyways, I have plentiful ideas, but failure always accompanies me it seems.. that even hoping for anything seems a waste of time?  I guess that’s where I am.  passion sizzles, I get frightened by something and forward momentum stops me somewhere, or distractions occur that take up the precious little energy I was able to muster up to begin with.  



 



So I’m in teeter mode now... I guess is better than being stagnant in the cesspool.  



 



nobody would know I live in a cesspool, I look so normal and good, …...I’m getting tired of living up to those normal and good standards.  



I’m just going allow myself to be bad.. and discover my own voice.   even after having lived several decades…   and still not going anywhere, all I want is to be hugged by a mommy gorilla! lol



 



kinda Random Thought...:  



People should walk a mile in another man’s shoe…  just for 3 days out of every year.  



We would all treat each other with a lot more respect I would think.  if say…..Trump’s dad was freed from sex slavery  ..I would bet he would have totally different campaigns to fight.



 



…  just sayin crazy stuff here, don’t mind me



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 


 
 
   
 

Dream Of An Attic, Lily Flower Wedding Ring, Trains On High Tracks

I had a lot of dream sequences last night and remember quite a few of them. I was reading Steven Fox, Ph.D.’s, book “Dreams: Guide to the Soul” before sleeping. So far, it is proving to be a good book.



 



In one of the earlier dreams, I was trying to escape some shadowy, threatening figures while inside a large house. I found a small hatchway into an attic, which was difficult to access, and thought I might hide there. The inside of the attic was made of old, grayish wood beams and was very dusty. It had some clutter, but not to the point of being unusable. A piece that I especially remember was spotting a broken, dusty record player (sidebar: would I have dreamt of a broken, dusty CD player if I were younger?). The attic seemed to weave in and out of other fragments, but I remember setting up a bed in it at one point to avoid the pursuers. But it never seemed entirely safe. I was always worried about being discovered up there.



 



In another dream, a woman I know who was divorced told me she was married again (to the same person). She wore a gold ring on her finger and there was a small flower that looked somewhat like a lily, delicate white shaded with pink, topping the ring where a diamond might be if it had been an engagement ring. I noticed that there were new, fresh petals growing at the bottom of the flower, adding to it. 



 



I also had some frustrating dreams about trains. In one, a friend who works where I used to work and I were trying to get luggage up to trains on high tracks, but the ramps we were “used” to using were gone. We finally found one left, and the train came in and then made a dangerous turn. I was trying to avoid it, in a high-up space without much room for maneuvering.



 


 
 
 

   
That's what dreams are made of
My dreams are stuck in a rut; I have variations of the same basic dreams over and over, sometimes as stand-alones, and sometimes as composites.

(1) THE FALLING DREAM (can be a composite with another category): I'm doing something, could be anything, then suddenly I'm falling...this always results in jerking awake. I've had this one all my life, though not for a couple years now. Bad way to wake up.

(2) FLYING (can be a composite with another catagory): I do something that causes me to fly, glide, or take gigantic steps. Often involves something like twirling my index fingers like propellers or flapping my hands at my sides. Kind of a nice one, unless composited with

(3) MY FEET FALL OFF (can be a composite with another category): What #2 can degenerate into; my feet come off or twist on their sides, or the shoes/boots I'm wearing do. This makes it damn difficult to land after flying.

(4) PEOPLE I KNOW (OR SORT OF), EVEN IF IT'S NOT THEM (can be a composite with another category): Involves people I know somehow, but they don't always look anything like themselves...I just know it's them.

(5) SEX/MAKING OUT/BEING AFFECTIONATE (can be a composite with another category): Sometimes with girls I did those things with; other times with girls I never did; occasionally with complete strangers I'm apparently not supposed to know (which is why it gets its own category distinct from #4). By far the weirdest one of these involved my old (male) high school principal, who died back in the '90s and was wearing a checked suit the whole time...I'm not gay, and if I were gay it wouldn't be for him, so I have no idea.

(6) THE FAMILIAR PLACE THAT'S NOT (can be a composite with another category): I know I know it, even if I don't. Or, even more common, it's a place that I do or did know, but it's different, or much bigger, or has secret hallways and rooms.

[Example: I had a dream about two months ago which was a composite of 4+5+6. I was in a room I know but that was much larger, surrounded by people I know; my second wife and I were sitting on the floor holding hands; then a friend of mine, whose hair was high-school dorky instead of today's non-existent, yelled "SHIT!" and stood up and ran past with a brown stain on the back of his pants. "What was that?" Ex-Wife#2 asked. "When he said 'shit' he wasn't kidding," I replied. I then woke up in an amused state.]

(7) DEAD RELATIVES (can be a composite with another category): Mainly my deceased grandparents and uncles and aunt, though occasionally one of the deceased older friends I used to play poker with will make an appearance. All of these are people who lived at least into my teens; the two grandparents who died before I was born and when I was just barely five respectively never get cast.

(8) LATE FOR SCHOOL (can be a composite with another category): Almost always high school; I'm running late to go to school or to get to class. And/or it's the end of the semester or year, and I realize that I forgot to go to every single class, and I wonder if anyone noticed. This is possibly the most common of my dreams. I graduated high school in 1981...you'd think I'd get over it.

(9) OOPS, I FORGOT SOMETHING (can be a composite with another category): A fairly common one...I'm doing something or going somewhere, and then realize that I'm not wearing any pants. The most interesting one of these was a composite where I was engaged in sex with Then-Wife#1, stood up, and realized we were on a pedestal at center ice of a Pittsburgh Penguins hockey game...and we were displayed on the scoreboard...and not only was I not wearing any pants, I was wearing a diaper.

(10) PEEING (can be a composite with another category): I really really have to pee...and I'm having trouble finding a place to do it...or I locate a toilet and pee, but it overflows all over my feet. Invariably I wake up having to pee really bad, which I think is the point. Long ago I was told by my mother that, if you dream you're peeing, you're wetting the bed; this sounds logical, and may work that way for some people, but with me it's just the two-minute warning.

(11) LAUGHING/CRYING: Rare, and I don't remember the dreams involved, but at least twice I've woken up crying. And at least once I woke up laughing my ass off.

(12) I DIE (can be a composite with another category): This is also rare, fortunately, but three times I have actually dreamed my own death. The first time was as a teenager; it involved a Revolutionary War-era British soldier who stuck his musket in my face and shot me in the head, whereupon I bolted awake. The third time was recently, and just plain stupid: I was in a car driving someplace dark, and after having to pull my car up a long stairway (I told you it was stupid) a big red lighted sign appeared in the darkness saying "YOU DIED." Apparently I was a video game.

The second death dream I had was possibly the worst nightmare I ever had; I had it in my 40s. It was a composite, involving a girl I knew and liked from college; she didn't equally like me, but that just made her like virtually everybody else. But...I murdered her...didn't see that part, but I knew it. And then I was in a car with her body shoved up under the dash on the passenger side...except that her body kept falling out, and I couldn't make it stay so nobody would know. And apparently they did know, because the police were closing in on me. So I drove home, got out of the car, pulled a gun, and killed myself with it. And boy did I bolt awake...I was crying, and I couldn't stop shaking for about an hour. Bad bad bad one.

(There is an old wives' tale to the effect that if you die in a dream you actually die. Not only is this not true, unlike the peeing dream one it makes no sense at all--how would anyone know what the deceased had been dreaming when he or she shuffled off the mortal coil? Miss Cleo called and told them?)

(13) FOR THE MEMORIES: Not a category; it was just one, though it had some of the elements: my father and uncle and I were looking out a window at an Army tank driving up the road; then Dad and Uncle started singing the old Bob Hope theme song as "Tanks for the memories." You wake up from one like that wondering if you need a lobotomy or something.

 
 
   
 

True DORK Alert
My first thought when I woke up this morning was, 'man, it's Wednesday; half-day today' and I was legit bummed.  Then as I was flipping back the covers, I thought, 'wait, I didn't give the math test yesterday. That's today. TODAY'S TUESDAY! FULL DAY!' and then I was really glad.  The 'bowling-arm' may or may not have come out; I'll leave that between me and any creepers who were outside my window at that exact moment.

Right BEFORE I woke up, though, I was having one of my infamous, truly-weird dreams.  I know I was dancing in the cafeteria to a song apparently called, "I'm concertina".  But then I left there and wound up in a hallway.  The woman I had as a first grade teacher was apparently now a 5th or 6th grade teacher.  She let me join her and the 2 boys she was working with.  And eventually, we got onto the topic of how she's kept something from each of her students since she started teaching.  Then she added, "....well, except for you".  But she said it in such a way that it was that not only was she joking, the very idea that she wouldn't have kept my stuff was inconceivable.   And I KNOW it's just a dream, but that feeling was incredible.

You know; since this is the woman from whose class I came home from and announced, "Mommy! I want to be a teacher!".  I have always sort-of hoped I meant as much to her as she did to me.

Time to pretend I'm hungry for breakfast and get in gear!
 
 
 

   
Sweetdreams

Sweetdreams

 

Minsan ayaw ko ng magising.

Sa panaginip lang kasi kita nakakasama,

Sa panaginip lang ako may layang

Ipadama sa iyo

Ang totoong nadarama.

Sa panaginip ko,

Ikaw at ako lang ang importanteng mga tao sa mundo.

Hawak-hawak mo ang aking kamay

Habang marahan nating binabaybay

Ang daan ng buhay.

Mahihigpit na yakap,

Matatamis na halik,

Masusuyong paglalambing –

Iyan ang kasama natin

Sa ating munting daigdig

Sa aking panaginip.

Hindi natin alintana

Ang paglipas ng panahon

O ang pagdaan ng mga oras –

Ang mahalaga’y magkasama tayo,

Masayang nag-uusap,

Magkarugtong ang buhay.

Sa panaginip ko,

Wala ni anomang anino ng duda

O tanong man lang –

Napakaperpekto ng mundo

Kahit ikaw at ako lamang

Ang bumubuo nito.

Minsan ayaw ko ng magising.

Dahil mas masarap managinip

Na kasama ka

Kaysa mabuhay

At harapin ang katotohanang

Wala ka naman dito sa tabi ko,

Wala sa paningin ko,

Wala sa buhay ko.

 

/em

051011tue.

 
 
   
 

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