Dont @ MindSay

Ok so here's what i think! we are sick of hear it! no one cares, walk away.....

I think you have brought everyone down to a level that we just dont care! no is stopping you, go....

We'll alwasy miss you and hurt.... but the pain will be less........

Yeah, my title is a bit harsh.

I dont want to moan. I dont want sympathy.I dont want to be all like 'woe me' and shite (northener sayin sorry!) I just want people to shut up and listen to me for once. Not the stupid ponsy barbie girl with the tits. Me. Because even though when you look at me, you think 'oh, shes alright, a bit dramatic- probably smokes a bit too much weed but shes ok. Ill ignore her.' im not really like that.

I put up a guard all the time, im so good at it now lol I joke about EVERYTHING (!) I have special saying like 'mint', 'yeah bill', 'ace' and goodbye isnt goodbye, its 'in a bit mate!' im always laughing, dressing like a young eccentric in bright pink dms and pierced all over, and diy tattoos too. But I am going through SHIT. After living in mental hospitals for 2 years, with 7 admissions in this period and a week between each, my Mum has decided that i cant live at home anymore. My social worker confirmed my fears well and truely last week at a 'forward planning meeting'. 'So, Bekki's homeless...' Great.

Thats not really a big deal.

Its not as bad as being lonely.

I'm so bloody lonely. Everyone who ever talks to me doesnt care, im like a paper cut. I am superficial. Im only the joker that I am because im drugged up on 60mg fluoxtine. Yes. A DAY. Stuck in the confined space of 'the rivendell unit' the kitchen is locked, the office is locked, the door is locked. Im allowed 20 minuits of 'parol' as i call it everyday, in this time i usually smoke a fag that ive hidden in my bra- the one place they dont look when they do weekly room searches through MY stuff. Im allowed one measily cup of coffee a day, because 'caffine is bad' (do i give an arse?) extra strong with 4 sweetners, also a banned item on the god forsaken unit. I'm not ill. I was but im not anymore, Im better i dont NEED to be in there, Im not sectioned. But it feels like I am.

I guess its tough shit, (well, shite, i should say) there are always worse people off out there...arnt there

what you say, Morgan, I'ma rant!

..........Get ready for some hardcore pissed-off Katie!

What the fucking hell? I'm not into religion but..yeah..

Jesus/God, whoever, they accept everyone! If you're Gay, Straight, Bisexual, even a damn Platypus, he still accepts you. The Bible was written by a whole nuch of old men, and if it says anywhere in there that Gays are not accepted, that's just plain bullshit. God forgives all his children if you repent.. or something spelled like that.

But still, no one on this planet has a right to judge people just because of their sexual orientation. I may not give a rats ass about Religion but I know about the damn "laws" or whatever they are...

I do pray sometimes, for some really selfish things, I miss my old life, and I pray for it back, but hell... I would rather have everyone think of everyone as the same than have it back..

And if people can't accept that..they've proved themselves to being completely huge assholes!

Yes, I'm sorry Morgan for disobeying you. You'll get over it. Because I lush you, you're like a sister I never had. And just because some of these asshole don't accept you, doesn't mean I don't.

This is unacceptable bullshit... I don't want any comment on this telling me about God and his Religion and "how I have sinned from this." Because I'll just delete them and you'll time will serve no purpose on my page..

OK this one's really fresh. It was uploaded a little while ago!!

It's an original song that I put together over the last week or so.

On all of my other videos that contains my original songs, the videos are made up of images, in the style of a slideshow. So this one is a break from that pattern. This is my first Original song video that contains moving images. I wanted the content to reflect the meaning, and I reckon I've managed to achieve that.

The name of the song is "Don't wish it away". It's about those that want the days and years to be over. Maybe it's grief, or impatience. Or maybe something else. The video is centred on things disappearing, and also things going in reverse. There is symbolism in all of this.

Check out my new song:

Here's the regular digest of Youtube food (for me).

I've got 550 subscribers now.

The viewings of my channel are now 11,329, and the overall viewing figures all of my videos are now at 162,129.

I'm mulling over a cover version for my next video. There are three song I want to do. The songs are The excellent song "The air that I breathe" by the Hollies, "Running on faith" by the one and only Eric Clapton or "My father's eyes", also by Eric Clapton.