Domestic Violence @ MindSay

Despite the flight getting in early, and my initial hope that I would be back home and able to rest up a lot, I now sit in Denver International Airport waiting for my new flight. Getting in early would have helped getting to my connection back to Chicago, but unfortunately, mechanical problems scrubbed the flight. As soon as I got to that gate, they cancelled the flight and asked everyone to go to the service counter. Which is never a good thing.

Compound that with at least 2 other flights having been cancelled, and the United service counter was hopping. A snippet of what took place:

Ever meet a guy with a really loud, obnoxious voice? He was behind me, exaggerating to his friends how he only moved 10 people in an hour (more like 10 people in 20 minutes) and there was 100 people in front of us (more like 50) and all of this other stuff that he 'swore on the Bible' was true. I edged away from him, waiting for a ceiling light to magically become unhinged and fall on his head.

A younger guy 2-4 people in front of me calls out once he hears that flights to Chicago are getting full or overbooked, 'Is that going to O'Hare?!?' and suddenly he becomes agitated that he won't be able to get home. Well, there's a lot of us in that position right now. I didn't know what his story was, but he felt it was important enough to call out the service desk people.

But the thing that struck me like a thunderbolt from the blue was a slight woman who was talking on her cell phone from outlet to outlet in line. She was charging as she was winding her way through to the service desk. When she finally did turn to face me briefly, I was stunned. Not at her beauty, which was plain, with a gaunt look to her face, but at the red right eye, the heavy bruise alongside her face, down her neck, around her throat, and extending partially to the left side of her face.

I have never personally seen domestic violence before at this level. I've been witness to my parents' threats on occasion, but it never got to this point. She had been beaten. And my heart instantly went out to her, even though that she was about 10 people in front of me. Turns out she was also put on standby to Chicago. And as it turns out, she and I also did not make the standby, but that's where we've been seperated. I don't know where she is, only that I hope wherever she's running to, wherever she is running from, she never returns. She was getting sympathy from those who weren't afraid to approach her bruised, saddened face. I was going to do the same, to see if there was something I might be able to do, but the situation currently isn't allowing me to do so. Any sort of physical violence towards women makes my stomach churn. It is never warranted.

United's cancellations are having a ripple effect; at the next gate where I was trying to get on standby, there was a young businesswoman, trying to get on a flight that was overbooked by 11 people, and then had the standby list from the flight I was trying to get on. There was no way I was getting on that flight. She was visibly upset as she spoke with someone on the phone, trying to explain the situation. I approached to see if she was ok. She said she was, sniffed, then walked away.

Even the flight that I now have a seat on, is delayed from its scheduled departure by about an hour. Looks like I'll be camping out here in DIA, luckily not MIA yet.

[Update 9:30 pm Sunday Oct 4, O'Hare Int'l Airport]

She happened to be on the same flight as I was coming home. So I hung around, because I felt that I had to do or attempt to do something. I didn't know what, but I couldn't sleep if I didn't. After we all got off the plane, I made my introduction, which was easy enough based on our mutual nasty flight experience at DIA. She immediately apologized for her apperarance, which I dismissed as not important enough to not continue to talk to her. As we're walking and talking about finally making it to Chicago, and heading to baggage claim for rides and presumably bags, I ask her if she's ok. She says 'Yes, I'm fine, I was just in a horrible accident'.

Ok, this is ... better? At least it's not what I was thinking. So I was wrong. Whew. The conversation continues, as she asks me about the BreatheRight nasal strip I have on my nose, asking me if I'm ok. I'm just stuffed up. I picked up a sinus infection and chest congestion while I was out in California. Turns out she's a doctor, and Chicago is her home. She was out in Denver visiting her sister and her twin nieces. She says that she was frustrated that she couldn't get home sooner with the obvious bruising and problems that she has with her eye. They put her on a priority waitlist, but ended up on a flight that was 5+ hours from the original. I got put on the same waitlist, so noone was special. =P We start talking about baggage, and how we're both lucky that we didn't check any bags on any previous flights, or even for the original flight, because the bags would somewhere in North America right now. Probably taking a vacation, she jokes. And then we'd have to go get them. Someplace nice, like Jamaica. She smiles. We laugh. Curiosity gets the better of me.

"So... what kind of accident were you in?" I'm thinking automobile, 4-wheeler, something...
"I fell down the stairs."
"Oh! Well at least that's better than what I was originally thinking when I saw you."
"What were you originally thinking?"
*pause* "That you... have been abused."

At this point she looks away as we're walking and she seems to lose a little bit of her composure when she says, "Actually, that's exactly what happened. My husband beat me. I tell people I fell down the stairs so they don't think otherwise."

O__O Holy crap!

"And Chicago is your home? Is there anything I can do to help you? I don't know, anything?"

She's going back to this guy! No! No no nononononono!!

"That's sweet of you, but no, there's nothing you can do. Thank you though."

O___O What??? Rrgh!

At this point we were outside of baggage claim. She was going to get a taxi. I was waiting for my mom to get me. But she was going back!!! And she's telling me that there's nothing I can do.

There is nothing like being so powerless to stop something that you know is wrong. And there's nothing like being told that there is nothing you can do when you know there is something you can do, no matter how insignificant it may be. To just let it walk away. But if she wouldn't let me help, I can't force it, especially on a stranger.

God damn it. It's not right.

I've been thinking of starting a website...another one....but that's something like pagans against violence against women...

Are any of you interested in being a part of this?

If so...email me at uterusarmageddon(at)gmail(dot)com.

If you're Christian...please don't email me trying to convert me.  Please.  I have no interest in being Christian.  Thanks :)

By Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Douglas Mappin

Special to American Forces Press Service

 

July 1, 2008 - The first class of the Afghan National Police's "Jump Start" program graduated at the Central Training Center here June 26. The 229 men and four women in the class were trained by instructors from DynCorp International, a private military contracting company.

 

Jump Start is a police training program modeled after the focused district development police-reform program, in which Combined Security Transition Command Afghanistan is working to develop a professional, well-trained, fully equipped police force throughout the country. Jump Start focuses solely on the Afghan capital of Kabul and its 16 police districts.

 

"Jump Start is a process of reforming the way local police officers are trained," said Canadian Superintendant Ray Noble, Jump Start coordinator. "Jump Start picked the best aspects of FDD and utilizes those elements to train police forces in Kabul."

 

According to U.S. Army Master Sgt. Frank Miranda, Kabul Capital Police Command logistics coordinator for Combined Security Transition Command Afghanistan, these new police officers are better-trained than their predecessors.

 

"From Day One, they are taught police ethics. This type of training is also meant to remove the stigma of the police," Miranda said.

 

Noble, a native of Fort Francis, Ontario, Canada, and officer in charge of Prince Rupert Detachment, Royal Canadian Mounted Police, said applicants for the program must meet strict criteria before being permitted to enroll.

 

"These students are getting the message," Noble said. "They have been taught how corruption will not benefit them, and that it can even lead to increased violence against them. More importantly, we teach them if they follow their training and the rules, they will have the people's respect."

 

Jump Start students receive training in the use of firearms, combat tactics, first aid, self-defense, improvised explosive devices, human rights, and the tenets of the Afghan constitution.

 

"Our students are trained in all aspects of police work. They learn to handle civil disturbances as well as domestic violence," said Col. Hashim, Afghan National Police training deputy. "Our students learn to maintain checkpoints, conduct personal searches and manage crime scenes. They recognize this

is an important job."

 

Hashim said he is most proud of the four women in the graduating class.

 

"When Afghans see women in uniform, others will be encouraged to join," he said. "I am sure we will see many more women enrolling in the future."

 

Hashim, who oversees the training of various ANP programs including Jump Start and the Trauma Assistance Program, said all cities need a secure environment, and Jump Start will provide a valuable service to Kabul's citizens.

 

"Kabul is our capital city. With the capital buildings, the ministries of Defense and Interior and the embassies all here in Kabul, we need security," Hashim said. "If we have no police, we are not secure."

 

(Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Douglas Mappin serves in the Combined Security Transition Command Afghanistan Public Affairs Office.)

Today was a day of temptation and a test of growth and while I usually tell everything step by sep I am at work and really dont want to re-live everything..

There is a roomate living in the house and causing as much hell and torment as possible on his way out of the lease. This man is an electrician and up until a couple months ago he was ok to live with, but after losing his job he began drinking and cranking the music up as loud as possible and stealing food as well as leaving disgusting messes around the house. Life at home began to mirro the movie that melony griffin  and keifer sutherland moved in the man from hell.

So anyway long stoy short and as cry free as possible he threatened mee. He not only made threats but destroyed dishes. I of couse ran ou of he house while calling 911 and the rest is his-story. He was not only smart enough to get rid of the boken dishes but denied making any problems....well at least for the first 30 minutes until one of the five officers finally tripped him upo. He said it was an accident. Legally I knew before they came he would not be leaving, but I called anyway. After another 45 minutes of talking he told the officers he would not be a problem and would stay in his room. I left the house to pick up meds and upon retuing called the neighbor until I made it to my room to verify any occurances.( almost forgot I removed all the knives from the kitchen while officers were there and he decides to say to "hey what if she threatens me" of course they looked at him for the foul he was but that has me concened as well. Anyway i am on the phone and go to get ice he has thrown flour all over the kitchen as well as taking beans and rubbed hem over the oven. Idid not boher calling the police again I prayed and went to bed. I wake up to let Smokey and Nina Simone out and he has left the door to the kitchen wide open. I live in a nice area but there are no more crime free areas....anyone could have walked in and caused harm to me (then again not because of Smokey ).

I am taking a step outside I need you to pray for me,roomattes,my kids,the house and MIKE HOWARD. I don't want to offend anyone that does not belive in a higher power so I ask that if you dont just keep it moving and Ill be ok, but if you believe you know my prayers are needed......I hate o admitt it but I am afraid and in fear of my life.

 

Thank you

 

The purpose of this grant was to begin a longitudinal study to examine the effects of witnessing and experiencing domestic violence on infants and their mothers. This study was unique in that it was a prospective design that: (1) studied domestic violence at the earliest point at which it might affect a child--in utero and (2) elucidated the mechanisms by which violence is transmitted intergenerationally by examining three mediating variables: parenting behavior, maternal physical health, and maternal mental health. Data collection began during the last trimester of the woman’s pregnancy and followed her and her infant throughout the first year of the infant’s life.

 

READ ON

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/196681.pdf