Doesnt @ MindSay 
doesnt matter
hi
my name is not Jif and my father didnt ever ppl called him peterson and I am not a major, I even not from the state.
see I am totally lied about my information and why that I dont know.
ofcourse, I do have facts in my life and it is good, I mean ppl luvs me and I am popular among my freinds, and have a good looking although I dont show my real pics on my profiles.
I dont know whats r going with me, but truly I am not a siko or even a sick fellow , cause I have many scusses in my life.
for real I am 32 yrs old , for real I do earn much , for real I do love to look handsome , for real I am beloved from my family and freinds and collegs , for real I have that infulnce on women , GOD I am proffessional in that space, I didnt get close to guys whom expert in that or even learn it from any body it is just a GIFT, and for real I abused it , dam I achieve a great sucsses in that I mean ruining and abusing all the relationships I have in my entire life and with no fuckin reasonable reason.
I was totally un rational in my movies I mean the last move (the next step of a relationship) how am I a looser all those fine ladies , they hate me for sure now although I think they feel sympthic about me .
see what I come to , a poor guy .. thats will be too long, if I kept writing in that topic .. I prefer enough for now.
I will do nothing to that blog unless I recieved from a caring ppl an invtiation to do so .. as I want to do it right for just one time , for just one time the truth of me.
thanks for the time u paid for reading this lines, pls accpet my apolgizes if it didnt mark in yr heart or even mind .
bye for now
major (false)
ok... lets see... my fathers a fucking pothead that doesnt pay child support. my mom is a single parent supporting 3 kids on her own. my mother works non stop and is STILL in college after all these years(its hard to get a diploma going only halftime) my best friend doesnt want anything to do with me. i cant talk to my best friends GF. theyre living a happy life, while im in a living hell. the girl i like sooo much doesnt even know if she likes me, yet tonight, she was kissing me(i didnt kiss her back). i owe my mother a good sum of money. once again, im too busy to hang with my friends and wont have much time for homework. im soooo depressed its not even funny. my mother lashes out on me nonstop, my brothers practically fucking hate me. somehow, IM the cause of all problems everywhere i go. whenever i finally take some time to worry about whats going on in my life, pple try to screw me over. the girl who i was soooooo madly in love with is basically trying to get with me. i cry almost every night now... plus im in pain from wrestling last night... AND my big toe really hurts.
so y is it that cris and jessica can live a happy life now? sure lets not worry about adrian... he doesnt have any feelings... he doesnt wanna be happy. u know, it looks like he doesnt even care... like i never even existed in his mind. i just feel like complete and total shit. i dont feel good at all... *sighs* well, i went to band today... had a painful practice. then went to the neighbors wedding reception. then i went to devans house... she wanted me to get up and have a good time. but im just too exausted to move around so i said no. then she asked if i would go inside and look at her cookie, and i was like, "fine... ok... ill go in for that and that only." DAMN! that was one big cookie! lol, i was thinking to myself, "i want a bite" but i didnt ask... its her b-day. then she kept accidentally hitting my soar muscles and shit and was like, "ohhh, im sorry." and she kept on kissing me and shit. i kept thinking to myself, "wtf is going on here?" im sooo confused with whats going on... and before we left she was like, "adrian come here! i want a hug." and i went and gave her a hug and she like... tried to kiss me. and i kinda brushed it aside... im not mad at her... im just in sooo much pain right now from everything thats going on. i just dont know what to do. like, i wanna cry almost all the time now. i mostly just cry in the shower now... nobody bothers me in the shower. it felt good seeing devan, but u know... what is she gonna act like when we go back to school monday? the same she did on my birthday for the first day of school? i sure as hell hope not. idk wtf is going on with my life anymore... so confused and lost. well at least she has had a better birthday than me... so thats what makes my day, knowing she had the type of fun and relaxation she deserves... i decided to put away all the drama for today so she could have a good day... that was a goal and objective for today... no matter how much i hurt, and how resentful i was, i just had to do it... just for her, thats all... and now its returned... i feel like shit and i wanna cry... i just need a nice meaningful hug from a friend. well im out. peace
wow... last night i had a terrible nightmare... it, of course, had to do with devan... i woke up sweating and crying.
i dreamed it was the first day of school and i was walking around looking for devan, but i couldnt find her. no matter where i looked, i couldnt find her. so the next couple days passed and i still couldnt find her... my heart was pounding, maybe something had happened to her? i wasnt sure, so i kept looking... then i finally found her. and she was with richard, they were holding hands and kissing. my heart sunk and my feet grew heavy. i just stared as he removed her shirt and then her pants, and then he did the same to himself. she let out her hair and they continued to get naked... now u already know what happens next... but i finally got the courage built up to say, "devan? what are u doing?" and they both stopped and looked at me. she covered herself up the best she could and just said with a careless voice, "look adrian, its not like were dating... u act like were dating, like were boyfriend and girlfriend or something when were really not. y dont u just get over it? u can live without me. theres other pple out there." and then they continued what they were doing...
thats not the first time shes said something like that to me... shes done it before, and everytime i think about it i wanna puke... i just dont know how to deal with it... i really wanna see her sooooo bad right now. but i guess im just really shook up about our situation... i mean, will she acknowledge me? will she be ashamed to tell everyone that im the guy she likes? that weve kissed? devan if u read this... let me know what is going on. tell me if u will talk to me or not. if ull even look at me. if u will still be the same person to me as u are now. if ud be afraid of what pple think or not. if u think that ud hurt me...
thats kinda funny cuz i know she wont read this... then again, maybe she will... sometimes she does and sometimes she doesnt. and sometimes i think that she doesnt care cuz she never calls to ask if i wanna hang out anymore or anything. and when i talk to her online its kind of short everytime. she doesnt say goodnight, she just signs off... im so worried, i cant take another pain or loss... especially with joanna gone... *sighs* life could deffly be better right now... well i g2g shower and fix my hair up... boy r u guys in for a surprise... later to yall!
NO CUTS!...i was sooo mad! varsity didnt make cuts either!...its so gay, i know i should be like yay, but its just that we cant have 15 ppl(thats for each team 30 all together) for multiple reasons
- reason one... NOT ENOUGHT UNIFORMS!
- reason two... SOME PPL SUCK!
- and reason three..less playing time!
its bullshit!...like i know i'm gunna be playing alot but that just makes me mad...i would HATE to get replaced by a freashman!...we had 12 ppl last year and i barly played bc the sophmores...and now...15??? thats way to many... most of us were upset...but w/e as long as i get to play i'm good...i really dont feel like sitting the bench again this year... like i did all last year bc i was a freshman...i better be playing!well coach likes me so thats mostly a good sign...ooo and another thing about volleyball, ok so we have a new coach and she isnt really sure what to do and she doesnt really care if we run or not bc she doesnt see the point since we dont run while were playing... like i could understand sprints...but running long distants...w/e so my point coach day is just copying what ever westervelt does and it bugs me...like she doesnt care for us running but its westervelt that makes us do all that stuff...i would so rather do sprints bc i need to work on them...i can run but so fricken what!? that doesnt matter...alright so coach is gunna get it so we have diffrent practices than the varsity, that way we can run half a mile in the begining and half in the end....allllright enought complaining...i got to see cody i was really excited...i wrote a poem last night bc i was really sad...i'm debating weither i should put it in or not...i think i might... so stay tuned!
damn i wish i had the motivation to read!!!!
~Celeste
Showing 1 - 5. [ Next ]