Dixie Stonehall @ MindSay 
Dixie currently feels:
Rebellious 
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BLOG 22.
This is in Emily's honour!
Tee hee, how ironic, eh Em'?
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...Presenting...
...As created by Dixie Stonehall, upon loving response to a request by Emily Fieldus...
The greatest MindSay quiz EVER!
(...Or maybe not.... 
)
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WARNING: The quiz is destined to waste precious minutes of your life.
If you put it on your profile, put a link back to stonehalledall and ask the other stealers to do so, too. - I doubt anybody will want to steal this tripe, like.
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Section 1: Knowing you.
Your name? --- You know me, you probably hate me, you can live without me - Dixie!
Your age? --- Sixteen years, five months, eighteen days, one hour, two minutes. [As of NOW.]
Your star sign? --- Libra, set of dodgy scales!
Favoured hand? --- Right!
Colour of one's eyes? --- Green!
Your hair? --- Blonde, just past my shoulders, with a fringe!
Your nose? --- Round and squishy!
Favourite colour? --- Red!
Favourite animal? --- Tiger!
Favourite band? --- Rammstein!
Current favourite phrase? --- CHILDREN OF THE SEA!!!
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Section 2: Heads or Tails?
Hot or Cold? --- Cold!
Guys or Girls? --- Girls!
Coke or Pepsi? --- Both!
Tea or Coffee? --- Tea!
Sugar or Salt? --- Sugar!
Cake or Pie? --- Cake!
Converse or Vans? --- Converse!
Cars or Bikes? --- Bikes!
Rock or Paper? --- Rock!
Glasses or Contacts? --- Glasses!
MSN or IM? --- MSN!
Mario or Sonic? --- Tails! :P
Hero or Villain? --- Villian!
Scotland or England? --- Both!
USA or Canada? --- Canada!
Germany or France? --- Germany!
Love or Money? --- Love!
Goth or Emo? --- Goth!
Early bird or Night owl? --- Night owl!
Guitar or Guitar Hero? --- Guitar Hero!
PS3 or XBox360? --- XBox360!
Science or Maths? --- Science!
Reading or Writing? --- Writing!
Love Dixie, or Kill Dixie? --- Kill Dixie! :)
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Section 3: Pointless favourites!
Your favourite...
Songs: --- Wait and Bleed - Slipknot... Rosenrot - Rammstein
Words: --- Catawampus! Machiavellian! Tambourine! Kangaroo!
Letters: --- A, D, Z, M, S, T
Drinks: --- Cherry Coke, Orange Lucozade & Pepsi Max!
Foods: --- Burgers, Pizza, Pasta, Fried chicken, Oreos & Fridge Raiders!
Sounds: --- Unaccomapanied guitar, head scratching & my scanner scanning. :)
Books: --- Jacqueline Wilson collection, Diary of a Chav (volumes 1-3), The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time & To Kill a Mockingbird.
Cheese: --- Edam!
Bread: --- Warbutron's!
Soup: --- Cream of Chicken!
Bathroom: --- Nana's!
Fridge: --- Nana's!
Pencil: --- Steadtler!
Chemical: --- Phenolphthalein!
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Section 4: Would you rather eat...?
Vomit pie or blood milkshake?
- Blood milkshake, blood is nice, and so is milk.
Snot ice-pop or roasted belly-button fluff?
- Has to be frozen snot. I eat my snot anyway... Umm... Yeah.
Stir-fried intestines, or spit-roasted arseholes?
- ...Eh, both of them are in contact with shit. Spit-roasted arseholes, why not.
1000 year-old cheese sandwich, or a fresh, steaming dog turd?
- Got to be the sandwich, mould is a penicillin after all.
Live jellyfish or dead snake?
- Dead snake, I like my food to keep still.
Earwax sorbet or toenail stew?
- Toenail stew, I like cheese. :D
A freshly coughed-up hairball or a full bottle of Corvonia cough medicine?
- HAIRBALL, HAIRBALL, HAIRBALL! Keep the Corvonia AWAY...
A used tampon or a freshly-lain pile of elephant droppings?
- Tampon... Though cotton is hard to swallow.
Dandruff rice-balls or toe hair spaghetti?
- ...Hrrrrrm... Rice balls.
Dixie's brain or Dixie's heart?
- *Finishes eating her own liver* ...Wha...?
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Section 5
- The random questions!
What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
- I really can't remember.
What did you have for breakfast?
- I didn't eat any today.
What is your middle name?
- Emily!
What size shoe do you wear?
- Six.
Ever been toilet papering?
- Aye! :D
From whom did you get your last e-mail?
- Emily!
When is your bedtime?
- When I choose to sleep.
Have you ever fallen UP the stairs?
- Many a time.
Have you fallen down an entire flight of stairs?
- Yep, and it really hurt.
Have you ever licked a frozen pole and got stuck there?
- Stupidly, yes. I got free after a few seconds, but it scared me at the time.
Have you been cut on barbed wire?
- Yeah, that really bloody stings.
What colour are your socks right now?
- White.
When was the last time you wet the bed?
- ......Ummm...
How many times have you ripped your trousers?
- ...Once.
Have you ever broken an arm, leg or any other bone?
- Not yet, touch wood.
Describe your most disgusting instance of vomiting - consistency, amount, aim, etc. :)
- Tee hee! Well, I'd ate 4 bananas and 3 bags of roast chicken crisps - threw up all over inside the sink, inside the bath, on the floor, and the windowsill. It looked like chicken & mushroom Pot Noodle, and it smelt like a strong combo of stomach acid, bananas and the crisps. Mam had to scoop it out of the sink, ROFL.
What does your snot taste like right now?
- Nice. :)
Have you ever crapped your pants?
- Unfortunatley, yes.
If you had to resort to cannibalism to survive, and you had the choice of eating a leg, an arm, a brain or a torso, what would you eat?
- I EAT YOUR ARMZ.
Doesn't Dixie just think up the best questions ever?
- Indeed she does. :)
Have you rode a horse or a donkey before?
- Donkey riding in Lindos! w00t!
Are you currently bored or tired?
- Neither really.
What does your sneeze sound like?
- A cat's sneeze!
Who would you most like to hug right now?
- Emily!
Who would you most like to beat with a phonebook right now?
- Brett!
Who would you like to hit with a strawberry flan right now?
- Emily!
How much would you like to kill Dixie right now?
- ...Tee hee hee.
Tee hee hee - now post it on your blogs! :)
Dixie currently feels:
Explosive 
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White rabbits!
Yeah... That's supposed to bring good luck if it's the first thing you say on the first day of a month.
I don't know if it applies to specific months, or one specific month...
March is the month with my favourite month name.
I mean, how cool does it sound?
MARCH.
Although, white rabbits was not the first thing I said today.
The first thing I said today was:
"...And we'll get your ears through."
You're probably thinking: "...WTF MATE."
Well, that's what I said to Gina as I was putting her collar on.
She doesn't wear a collar in the house - she only wears it when she's outside or on a lead.
She has big floppy ears, and they'd gotten trapped underneath her collar.
I said that to her gently as I tried to free them.
This is Gina - laid on my parents' bed.
She was laid on my bed earlier, when I was cleaning my room. Cheeky cow. 
Gina isn't our pet - she belongs to a friend of my parents.
They're away in India, so we're looking after her - as we often do when they go away.
When we do look after her though, she doesn't eat anything for the first day or two - but once she's accustomed herself to the surroundings, she'll eat something we put down for her.
If we let her eat anything from our hand, or from a plate on the floor - she'll be sick.
My parents took her to my nan's earlier - and apparently she was sick on her rug.
We were looking after Gina in Christmas of 2006 - and we'd put down a plate of turkey for her.
She ate it as fast as is actually possible - walked about four metres, then chucked it straight back up infront of the front door.
It didn't look much different to what it looked like before she'd eaten it.
When both of my parents are at work, I take Gina for a whizz on the field behind our house.
I've been asked by two of my friends why she squats to pee.
Quite simply - because she's a girl.
If you didn't know that - female dogs, or bitches - don't cock their leg to pee.
It's just like us female humans, we don't have a penis to direct our urine spray, so we have to sit or squat.
Whizzing in a forest is the worst for a girl - if you ever have to pee behind a tree or a bush in an emergency resort - you have to keep your balance, make sure you don't dall down with your arse in a pile of leaves and dirt - and you have to hold your trousers and pants back, to make sure you don't pee on them.
It's also a common accident to pee on one's shoes.
So boys - spare a thought for the females, who cannot aim their yellow expulsion.
I liked looking at the snow once Gina had whizzed on it when I took her for a walk on the snow-covered field last year - with a former friend of mine.
It was difficult for us both to stand up on the icy pathways, and I was suprised that Gina actually wanted to stay out in such weather - she doesn't like rain, wind, or fireworks.
I sat with her one night on bonfire night when we were all around my mam's friend's house for a party.
I was a little afraid myself - mainly because Gina kept looking like she wanted to bite me, although I just wanted to help.
Here's an extreme close-up.
- Taken by Adam, this afternoon.
Unless you really dislike dogs, I bet you can't stare into her eyes and not say "Awww!"
Go on. Try it.
Dixie dares you. :P
Dixie currently feels:
Loving 
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Although I may be disallowed to keep in contact with Emily through instant messenger - there is no restrictions on sending e-mails.
We're both fast typers, we're both quick thinkers - it's only a fraction of a second slower than using instant messenger.
Of course, I am a fickle sort.
It does not seem the same.
Though, I am rather satisfied...
Emily has been reading my blogs.
She has been commenting too.
This one will be specifically for her, and anybody else who gets a mention here.
Oooookay, this is weird...
When I inserted my smiley for my "Dixie is currently feeling:" - it has become suspended at the top of this page... On the blue background, above the advert.
...I wonder why it wants to be up there?
Oh well, if it doesn't want to be included in my blog, then so be it.
I shan't judge.
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Last week, I finally got a parcel I'd been expecting long before Christmas.
A present from Emily.
What a great way to wake up - I thought, as soon as I'd lifted up the white box that had been placed down beside my pillow.
After the extreme struggle of removing all the annoying sellotape - I got into it, and I was greeted with the carefully aligned and thoughtfully chosen array of gifts.
Along with a handful of smiley marbles (w00t, SMILEYS), a packet of five-flavour Lifesavers, a squishably soft cuddly moose and a painstakingly written letter - were two shirts.
This way, I can feel Emily's love upon my skin every time I wear them.
So there's the first.
It's a little creased, but I've been wearing it for two days now.
The motif reads: "Every great idea I have - GETS ME IN TROUBLE."
Emily openly admitted to me, that she saw the shirt on sale, and it instantly made her think of me.
I agree - to be perfectly honest.
I'm the unfortunate sort, I'll plan out a perfect plot - and I'll fall flat on my face half-way through it.
It also seems to link well with my persona character within a story we're working on.
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In November of 2007 - around one month after we both began talking - Emily suggested the idea of a collaberation fiction.
I'd wrote alongside another person before, over instant messenger - and I'd greatly enjoyed it.
Thinking to myself that we both had a passion for writing, something we'd both enjoyed doing separatley... And, seeing as how we shared almost everything else in common...
I decided to give it a go.
At first, I didn't think we'd make much of it.
A couple pages, maybe?
Fifty?
Ten chapters, perhaps?
A year and three months later - we're on the 98th chapter, and the 527th page.
(SIZE TEN...)
The story is entitled 'Fire of Glory' - and, to explain it briefly; it's the tale of two teenage girls who meet together accidentally - both are repelled from each other, but they are both then forced to stick together to cope with everything that seems to be thrown at them.
The two characters, of course, are based off Emily and myself.
They're basically us - injected with a little bit more confidence, and given a special fighting ability each, which neither of us; at any point in our lives, would be able to do.
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So there's the second one.
- Yes, I did change my glasses. I have two pairs.
I don't know which pair I like best, however.
One day, when I was browsing Bearshare for more music to download - I typed in the keyword "Emily", remembering a Bowling For Soup song I'd heard recently on the radio.
But also, appeared on the list of searches:
See Emily Play - Pink Floyd.
With a double click, and thirteen seconds of waiting (yes, Bearshare is fast for me, it seems) - the song had planted itself within my downloads folder.
I clicked it twice, watching it appear within my Windows Media Player.
Instantly, the song was a success with me - a gentle, soothing melody, with a slightly melancholy set of guitar riffs; coupled with the strongly emotive lyrics, sang beautifully by Mr. Syd Barret.
"Soon after dark, Emily cries."
"Float on a river, forever and ever - Emily... Emily---"
"Emily tries, but misunderstands..."
Many lines contained within, seemed to fit so well with MY Emily - as well as Mr. Barret's Emily.
As soon as she became aware of my obsession with said song - Emily had to put up with my constant demands of: "Emily, GIVE ME BACK MY DREAMS."
("She's often inclined to borrow somebody's dreams 'till tomorrow.")
It's all down to Emily that I even discovered Pink Floyd, and started liking them. :)
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"SLOW RIDE... TAKE IT EASY..."
"OOOOOH... BARRACUDA!"
"I.... WANNA ROCK AND ROLL, ALL NITE!"
"NOW I SHALL RAIN BLOOD!"
"HELL AND FIRE WERE SWORN TO BE RELEASED!"
Is it possible to become a Guitar Hero NERD?
Yes, I WILL lick my fret buttons!
They taste like (Raining) blood, and fretful sweat.
Gettit? FRET-ful?
I really like that photo, for some reason.
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Emily... You have my heart.
Until you can collect it from me, I'll keep it warm for you - right here in my arms.
Dixie currently feels:
Defeated 
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It's quarter past seven.
By now I would be eagerly awaiting Emily's arrival.
The blog I posted last night before I went to bed made me feel better.
I think I may have finally found a way to let out my feelings.
If I were to speak directly to someone I know about how I'm feeling - I'd cry.
I don't like to cry.
When I write this blog, it seems that all of my thoughts flow directly down my scarred arms and into my keyboard - corresponding, the words shall appear on the screen before me.
It's not like when I'm trying to write my fiction or poetry.
This does not have a structure, it doesn't have a plot. It doesn't have a complex storyline - I can write whatever I want, whenever I want, and I don't have to worry about restrictions or acceptance.
I am suprised at myself.
When I have been deprived of Emily in the past, I have done nothing but cut and cry.
Not to say my thoughts have not been centred upon her - I have done my usual thought-an-hour (though that's a minimum), and referenced her a few times...
But it seems I'm managing to keep my stapler remover - who I shall introduce to you all now as "SR"; a clever naming system that stands for 'stapler remover' - away from myself.
I have been reading up on other people's blogs, who also talk about self harming.
I found a somewhat odd one, with methods of containment.
I've tried methods of containment, and nothing has worked for me.
I also found a lot of depressing poems by people who cannot spell.
Fine, Mindsay does not have a spell check. But I'm sure we're all literate enough to spell "excuse".
When I wrote last night, I highlighted Emily's name in green.
That way, I can see exactly how much I spoke of her.
It also looks quite decorative.
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Today in school, Claire played her guitar for me. 
Claire is a friend I have.
She stays in the library much as I do, during her breaks.
She has short hair which she spikes at the back.
At the moment, she has a purple extension in the side.
She looks a little like a character from a fiction story I am working on.
We both have common Northern English accents, but hers is worse than mine.
That smiley is green.
I like smileys a lot.
I don't love the colour green, but it is Emily's favourite - and so, it makes me think of her.
--- That smiley is very erotic. Notice how the recieving smiley seems to be rather contented, perhaps even aroused?
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Claire plays songs by Muse and Nirvana.
Guitars unnaccompanied make me feel sad.
They sound so alone and deprived of back-up and surrounding sound.
It sounds like me.
I can't play real guitar, but I can play Guitar Hero.
Guitar Hero controllers only have five frets. I think Claire's real guitar has fourteen or thirteen.
They also don't have strings, they have a single bar.
I like Guitar Hero. I can play Expert level now.
I like to play on Nintendo wi-fi connection and "pwn sum n00bs wit mah skillz".
Emily has also played on GH3 wi-fi connection with me.
She is on Medium level, so it's not very fair for me to challenge her to face-offs.
We play co-op mainly.
Emily takes the bass part, and I play Expert lead.
We have only failed two songs so far.
Those are 'Stricken' by Disturbed, and "Through The Fire And Flames" by Dragonforce.
We have not played all of the songs yet, though.
I wonder if we will still be able to play wi-fi connection with each other...
Being torn away from your best friend is truly terrible.
Dixie currently feels:
Exiled. 
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My name is Rachael Emily Smith.
Though, some know me by my online publishing name: Dixie Astrid Stonehall.
The only similarity beteween the two names is the last inital.
I am sixteen years old.
I will turn seventeen in September, 2008.
I am in year 11 at Gillbrook College.
It is named college, but it's actually a secondary school.
I will be going to Middlesbrough College in September of 2008 to take four A-levels. (English language, English literature, Media Studies and Photography.)
For my GCSE option choices, I chose:
- Art & Design Textiles (Hate it.)
- Media Studies (Love it.)
- Geography (Neither love or hate it.)
- Music (It's alright.)
I also take:
- English language
- English literature
- Mathematics
- Mathematics statistics
- Science (Year 10 course I completed)
- Additional Science (Year 11 course I'm currently doing)
- Applied ICT
School is only a minor part of my life.
I spend my lunchtime breaks in the school library. I also stay there after school.
When I come home, I like to listen to music.
My favourite band is Rammstein. I like their melodies, as well as their highly emotive lyrics. Till Lindemann and Christian Lorenz are also very attractive men.
But saying that, I don't like men.
I sometimes get called names and insults because of my sexuality.
I don't mind. It is up to me.
I have blonde hair that extends past my shoulders. I grew a fringe to hide my forehead, because I don't like it.
I have green eyes, and I am short sighted - so I wear glasses for reading long distances.
They are currently balanced on my head, because I can see what I am typing without them.
I am overweight and I am small.
I sometimes get called names because I am fat.
I get very sad inside sometimes. But I still like to eat chocolate and cake because they make me feel happy.
I am 5"0.
I cannot reach top shelves without standing on chairs or climbing up worktops.
I sometimes feel afraid when I am perched on the kitchen worktop - for I sometimes feel the black and white tiled flooring is inhaling me inwards to its depths.
My head would smash rather easily if I were to fall.
I have small hands and I wear size six shoes.
I don't know anybody who has smaller hands than I do.
This makes me sad when I am playing on Guitar Hero III, Expert level, and I miss a chord because my fingers are too short to reach all five fret buttons.
I have been informed that I suffer from depression.
Sometimes, if I have had a bad day - I come home and listen to sad songs, like Bother, by Stone Sour; or Ghost of a Rose, by Blackmore's Night.
If I am feeling very pained inside, I have a friend who helps me with my problems.
My friend is a black stapler remover. I sometimes cut my arms with it.
Sometimes I draw blood, sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I cry, sometimes I don't.
I began mutilating in year 8, which was 2005.
I have used my stapler remover from the first time, up until the present day.
Sometimes I would like to stop.
I do not mind. I can continue my life sadly with scars on my left arm.
I am right handed.
I am part of the 90% of the human population who uses tools in their right hand.
My left thumb is more agile than my right.
This is because I use my left thumb for operating the control stick on my games consoles.
Because my hands are so small, I can fit my fist into my mouth.
I am not double-jointed anywhere in my body.
If I rub my nose hard from side to side, I can make it click.
I do not have many friends in school.
I like to sit by myself and not speak.
I sometimes feel very isolated.
I do not register with other people of my age.
Most people in my tutor group are all in hetrosexual relationships, and many have had illegal sexual intercourse.
Most of them are invited to parties, where they consume alcohol.
Everybody but me is a part of a small group of select friends.
When I sit alone, I observe their behavior.
Humans disgust me, but I am often facinated by some of the topics that they discuss.
If I could change ten things about my life, these are what I would choose:
- I wish I could be happy.
- I wish I could be accepted by other people.
- I wish I could be content with myself.
- I wish I could be left alone without fearing being insulted or attacked.
- I wish I could be attractive.
- I wish I had a talent.
- I wish I didn't suffer from all of my mental and physical aliments.
- I wish somebody would love me.
- I wish I could learn to see the good things.
- I wish I could smile.
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My blog seems rather emo, doesn't it?
I dislike emo.
I don't like the music.
All the songs are repeatitive, and the singers are talentless.
I don't like the fashion.
I am fat, and I do not like to wear tight clothes.
My hair is blonde, and I would not like it to be black.
My fringe is straight, and I would not like it to be cut diagonally so I cannot see out of one eye.
I don't like the culture.
I don't like hanging about infront of the Middlesbrough art gallery.
I don't like sitting in Starbucks drinking coffee. (Ick, coffee.)
I don't like attending gigs, festivals, or being social.
I may be an insolated, anti-social self-harmer - but I would not consider myself to be an emo.
I have a friend who is emo. I like her. She is pretty.
I don't like it when people who aren't emo are called emo by mean people.
Emo could be used as a downgrading statement, but for all of those who want to be an emo - they can do what they please.
I was never one to interfere with anybody's life.
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Here is a photo of a girl I know:
Her name is Emily.
I like her a lot.
Reasons why I like this photo:
- I took myself with the print screen button whilst Emily was on webcam for me. I like to talk to her with webcams. I like to see her emotions when she reads what I type to her.
- She has just finished laughing and was still smiling. I like it when I make her laugh and smile. I also feel like smiling when I see her smiling.
- She is wearing a shirt I sent her for her birthday. My uncle customised it for her. We have sent each other presents. I like to get mail. Mail makes me smile. Just to see Emily wearing something I sent her makes me feel special.
- She hadn't brushed her hair, and it looks very strange and cool. I like to have long hair, but some of my female friends have short or shoulder-length hair, and it looks very nice on them all.
- I have this photo in the back of my school planner. When the mean people have made me feel sad, I turn to the back page and look at my photo. It is actually the second print out - I ate the first one when I was hyper-active. The printer ink melted in my mouth and made my tongue green.
Reasons why I like Emily:
- Emily can listen. There are very few people I feel comfortable talking to. I like to tell Emily my feelings. This makes me feel very secure and accepted.
- Emily can understand. When I discuss upsetting matters with her, I know that she can comprehend exactly how I feel. This makes me feel safe.
- Emily is accepting. No matter how I act towards her, even if I'm mean when I'm in a bad mood - Emily can brush off anything meaningless I say. This makes me feel trusted.
- Emily is interesting. We often hold very stimulating and interesting conversations. When I am bored, Emily can find a way to make me entertained. This makes me feel valued.
- Emily trusts me. Whenever Emily is upset, or she needs somebody to confide in, she comes to me with her problems and I try my best to help. This makes me feel essential.
- Emily loves me. Emily can see past all of my faults and like me for who I am. There is nobody else in the world who can do that for me.
That makes me feel very special.
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