Dixie @ MindSay

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It's a good thing I didn't really have anything major that was bothering me this week. Well, there was the one thing that arose in Film Studies this morning.
Tuesdays are now assigned to be coursework lessons - so we were in the ICT suite on the 3rd floor, "doing coursework" - only I was attempting to do mine, but I had something stopping me.
I had all the clips I needed on my memory stick - they were all uploaded to the video editor fairly quickly - the same one I use at home - Windows Movie Maker, bog-standard, but it gets the job done. I had my script, I knew how I wanted it to look - I should have been all set to bung the clips together, save the project then edit all the sound at home with WavePad and dub it together.

But I think I'm scared of assembling it. I know there's some clips that haven't worked quite as well. I knew that there would be some jumpiness between certain clips - hence the reason I filmed some "filler clips" - just close-ups of objects and surroundings to break the flow and ease the jump from clip to clip - I did make some form of effort to sort it out. But I just know it's not going to turn out as I'd hoped. Fair enough, the trailer didn't, The Wheelchair didn't. When I wrote Regenbogen Strifen - that didn't.

And the problem is, I'm not even sure WHY I'm so scared of assembling it. :/

I would have told Dianne about this in our session - but it was cancelled.
I worked it out after sitting on the stairs by the room for 15 minutes - then giving up.
She'd actually sent me a text - but I only realised this when I got home and read it.

I told Sarah too - but she said I should just bite the bullet and assemble it.
I did tell her about my Plan B - if it went TOTALLY tits-up and wouldn't get anywhere near a decent grade - I'd take film stills and do the digital storyboard option. But that isn't the point - I shouldn't HAVE TO - I wanted to do the fucking FILM OPTION!

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Dixie currently feels:

 Content

 

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I went to nana's this morning - she'd said I could borrow a pair of grandad's longjohns for tomorrow's filming. Then I'd said I'd go into town with her to do some Christmas shopping with her. Mam dropped me off and nana made me some toast for breakfast while I played on my DS to deter myself away from the boredom that morning television always, without fail - brings.
 
We got the Leven Valley bus - from the epic bus stop three meters from her doorstep - at half 11 and got into town for around 11:45. Nana seemed to be getting lots of gift vouchers - we were all over the place, from River Island to Game and back again. Seriously, if I ever looked out of place - I look out of place in TopShop. Just imagine me standing in TopShop, wearing my anarchy blazer, black jeans with the big fuck off chain, black and red Converse - and to top it all, I was waiting for nana by the PETITE racks. Seriously lmao, what an outlier.
 
When we were in Game, I showed nana the Brutal Legend adverts they had up on the screens - she suggested that I ask Ian and Lisa to get me it for Christmas. That's not a bad idea nana. :)
I also noticed the strategy guides... Hmmm... Should I be obsessive and go for the 100% with a guide? I only buy guides for epic RPGs and games I REALLY like. I have a feeling I'll like BL though. It's certainly my type of game.
They have DJ Hero set up in Game - seriously, Shelly and I have got to have a go of that when we're in town next week. It looks fucking ridiculous like. :)
 
I went into Boots to get some stuff for Ian and Lisa. I've got Lisa a cosmetics bag and a lipgloss set - they're all themed with like Japanese geisha girls - which I know Lisa is batty about, so they seem really fitting. I've got a body set for Ian, but I need to get them both some chocolates to go with that. I might get Ian something else too, maybe when I go mooching in Forbidden Planet for Adam's present. :)
 
When I was in River Island, I found the best thing ever for him - but I shan't post it to here, for I know he's an avid reader of this blog. :P
And of course, when walking past HMV - the idea struck me for what nana could get me to go with the games rack she's bought me out of Argos. Rammstein's sexy new album, Leibe Ist Fur Alle Da. :D
 
I set off for college at about 12:40, but still ended up about ten minutes early, so I stood about listening to Rammstein and Blind Guardian.
Film Studies was reasonable - we finished off our posters from last week and made some notes on a documentary about blockbuster films. Saying that, blockbusters are fairly simple to understand - I really didn't need to see a documentary about them to understand the concept.
 
Walking back to the bus station, I bumped into mam, Christine, Lucy and Lila - so I turned around and walked back to the car park with them. Nice one, I saved my bus fare. :P
I sat in the back of the car with Lucy and Lila - who she had on her knee. She looked like she kept wanting to lunge for my badges. I wasn't keen on the idea - yes, I'd like to see children getting impaled on safety pins, but I could do without baby blood on my face. :)
 
When mam came home, we watched Desparate Housewives and then when we ran out of DVDs, I ate a bowl of rice and watched How Clean Is Your House? - Kim Woodburn is supposed to be going on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here on Sunday - so I'll definatley be watching that, she's fucking epic. :D
 
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Shelly came at around five - we laid on my bed and had lots of cuddly time.
It's so weird cuddling her when we've got Cannibal Corpse and Rammstein blasting in the background. :)
 
I got some things organised for tomorrow's filming - mainly the suit jackets and shirts from my wardrobe, then I hung them on the door ready for when we needed them.

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Finally, we had a fucking Wednesday without a major drama. AND, tutorial was actually fucking meaningful - shock fucking horror. :)
 
(Two sentences with the use of the F-word - fucking hell. :P)
 
Anyway - I got a little further with my UCAS application - I entered all the course details and shite - as well as adding all my qualifications. They all look ever so shiny and sexy, all the grades in a vertical line - complimenting oneanother. :)
Except the Religious Education short course GCSE of course lmfao - it's a proper D - it stands out from the rest of them because it's shit and it doesn't get a bath. (And no, I'm not referencing to Sharon, or am I? :P)
 
Media Studies was fairly pointless - but Lewis and I managed to entertain ourselves pretty well.
I found a big elastic band on the floor in the English classroom yesterday - so today I made a STATIONERY SLINGSHOT!
Two pens, a green gel pen and a red ballpoint, a piece of clay to keep the lids on - and my special elastic band.
 
I was stupidly hyper though - I mean come on, in a normal state of mind, I'd have never turned around and said: "ANNE MARIE? DO YOU LIKE MY SLINGSHOT?!"
Lewis and I expressed our hatred for this shitty assignment by doing shite all. Well, we "planned" and "thought about our ideas" - but this is Lewis' idea of planning - a badly-drawn sketch of Roseberry Topping, complete with a stick-figure Ashleigh being pushed down the side of it in her wheelchair by a stick-figure me:
 

 
But of course, I couldn't help pissing myself laughing. Lewis can make me laugh a lot sometimes. :)
 
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I managed to calm down a little for Photography.
The film I didn't end up using last weekend wasn't wasted - because I got to use it today. We were using the old film cameras - we went outside and Grahame told us to take photos of each other from weird angles. Well naturally - I'm great at all things weird.
Afterwards, we had to load our films in the DARK, DARK, DARK darkroom - which proved difficult of course, due to the sheer blackness of it.
 
Though there is one thing I like - I like the fact I can squeeze Shelly's bum and nobody can see what I'm doing. Giggle. :)
 
We haven't got the negatives or developed photos back yet - I think we have to wait until next Wednesday. Uber fail. :(
 
Since I was the only one with a watch, I was entrusted with the job of telling Shelly and Hayleigh when to shake the cannisters with the films and developer in.
So every 30 seconds, I took great delight in squealing: "SHAKE!"
 
When Grahame was explaining the different aparatus - he held up the 'funnel', which serves as the lids for the cannisters - and I can't have been listening properly, for he then exclaimed: "And this is called SATAN..."
Obviously, it made me pay attention - but it's also now going to make me think "SATAN" every time I see one of them. Mildy amusing I suppose. :)
 
I found a broken pin with a plastic end when I was in the darkroom. I was scraping it on the workbenches because I liked the sound it made. Grahame instructed me to: "Give me the NAUGHTY PIN..." - but I wouldn't give him it. I exclaimed that I'd named it Grahame, after him - and it was now my friend.
Yeah, clearly my hyper state was getting worse. :)
 
And it seemed to be at its peak in Film Studies.
I know that they all find my yawn and my sneeze hilarious - but they'd never heard my laugh until today. And of course, everyone who knows me - knows that my laugh is the most fucking ridiculous noise in existence.
I was tormenting Kayleigh with my stationery slingshot, shooting bits of rubber at her - which she kept blocking with bits of paper and files.
 
You know you're too hyper when AM turns around and tells you to keep it down because you're being disruptive. Gigglegigglesnort. :)

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Today's session with Dianne just seemed like an hour of whinging about Shelly.
Well it's not my fault - I'm supposed to talk about things that are on my mind and things that are bothering me recently - and at current, Shelly is being a bit of a twat at times.
Either way - even if it seemed I was whinging about her and nothing else, it did help a little. I got a chance to think about things I'd been putting off for a while.
 
Afterwards, I met up with Adam in the LRC.
Well, he met up with me - I was already there. He came bearing a bag full of Pringles - so I snaffled some. It's difficult to eat them quietly like. I was trying to suck them until they went soft so I could bite them and not cause a great disturbance via crunching - but that was easier thought than performed.
 
I was stressed out in English when Angela had her mini-rant about personal statements - and after she'd given me the 'stare-into-your-soul' glance, and I'd admitted I hadn't started mine - and the reason why - she said she'd help me with it if I stayed behind after the lesson. Fair do's - I would have just went straight home afterwards and continued to procrastinate and put it off anyway.
 
Oh, but Angela's a proper babe like. :D
She didn't write it for me as such - but she dictated a few starting sentences to me, giving me a clue of the type of things I needed to write.
And the fact Angela assured me that you DON'T actually need to blag about all these "positive qualities" you supposedly have as a person (naturally, I don't have ANY, so I find that task in itself impossible) - it was a lot easier than I expected it to be.
 
The majority of mine does come from writing about my interests. And because I'm so epic - most of the relate to the course I want to do at university. Hmm, now to have it critiqued by Sarah. :/

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Mondays are always a chore at college.
I did a little bit of research in media studies - but on the whole, wasted most of the lesson. I'm getting so impatient... I want to get on and film Spieluhr! Hello...? MUSICBOXPLZKTHX.

English had its moment: Angela sodded off for half the lesson to go to a "meeting" - so I amused myself with my stationery slingshot - two pens, a long elastic band, some modelling clay and bits of rubber or paper balls as ammo. Naturally, from the back of the room, Adam was giving me the: "OMG YOU SILLY COW." look.
For some reason though - when she came back, and I'd fired about 25 paper balls around the room - she instantly knew it was me. Adam told me on MSN that I'd looked really guilty though - I'd gone bright red and hung my head. Well, I do remember pretending to read, lmao. Maybe I blushed more than what I thought. :)

Damn, I wish I wasn't so easy to read. :)

My moods have been fluctuating a lot recently - I've been going from feeling relativley sane and neutral to wanting to slit my throat in the space of five minutes. Thus, I've been in this lapsed mood where I just don't DO ANYTHING - just sit at my desk or lay on my bed and literally spend hours doing shite all.
So in order to make myself more productive - to stop myself wasting all this time, today I made myself a "TO DO" list. And I will say, it worked pretty well. :)

In the space of a few hours, I managed to redraft my personal statement, update three empty blogs, wrap up half of my Christmas presents (before the sellotape died a death, of course), I tidied up my room, filmed some filler clips for the Abigail film sequence, charged my iPod, charged some batteries and generally organised my life.

I watched an episode of Desparate Housewives with mam, ate some chicken sandwiches - then spent a few hours on the phone to Shelly - multi-tasking, as I wrote blogs and wrapped gifts at the same time.

Mam and I are going to watch I'm A Celebrity every night together. I'm only really wanting to watch it because Kim Woodburn is a fucking legend. :D
She's so funny, some of the random shite she comes out with. Sam Fox is hot too - and she's a lesbian. I instantly liked her for that one trait. :)

(And Adam did answer the Social Interview question of: 'what excites me?' with the answer: 'lesbians' - which made me instantly piss. :P)