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Restraining Order 911 | E-Book for ALL Husbands & Fathers Going Through Divorce
New e-Book For Dads Getting Divorced Reveals...
The Harsh Realities You Will Face – And Why You Must Prepare Yourself Now For a Restraining Order If You Don’t Want to Become a Victim and Lose Your Children
 If you’re a father and getting a divorce, chances are you will be victimized and separated from your children! The only way you will |  Failure to listen and immediately download this free information can result in the loss of your home, car, livelihood, children and freedom! Download Our |
Introducing, My Newest, MUST-HAVE E-Book for ALL
Husbands & Fathers Going Through Divorce…
How to eliminate thousands of dollars in legal fees and make legal decisions you will NOT regret with the ONLY practical guide to dealing with restraining orders that keep you away from your children.
Dear Divorcing Fathers and Husbands,
Are you getting divorced or even thinking about it? Believe it or not, you WILL probably get hit with a restraining order. If you are hit with a restraining order, you could lose your freedom, access to your children and your money without even knowing that it was happening.
How do I know this?
It happened to my father -- My parents got divorced when I was two years old. Out of revenge my mom intentionally kept my dad out of my life. I never knew my own father. He missed me growing up. I am sure this sad fact influences my actions to this day.
And, most recently it happened to me!
I’m not a psychologist, social worker or lawyer trying to get rich off your pain and suffering. I am a father that has lived through personal and financial devastation by the divorce industry.
See, up until September 20, 2006 (the day I was hit with a FRAUDULENT RESTRAINING ORDER by my ex) I was in heaven. I had a life that most people would dream of. I had accomplished a lot, including:
Serving my country as a Captain in the Marines
Leading men in combat in the first Gulf War with the 2nd Marine Division, which helped liberate Kuwait City
Going to Wall Street as a trader and working for the largest investment bank in the world
Achieving a level of economic success that put me in the top 1% of all wage earners in the country
Marrying my first wife, and during a seemingly happy sixteen year marriage having four wonderful children
... but then - BAM!
Everything changed right underneath my nose. It was like I was attacked blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back. I didn’t see it coming and when I was hit with a divorce and a restraining order that prevented me from seeing my children – I felt helpless.
I went through close to 2 years of Restraining Order Hell. Here’s how I suffered…
Based upon a single FALSE ACCUSATION, I was slapped with a fraudulent restraining order where I was subjected to potential criminal prosecution for close to two years until I could prove my innocence. I was under the constant threat of jail if I violated the order in any way. That's right, if you violate a Restraining Order you GO TO JAIL!
After I went through the first hearing, my children were placed on the order without any reason given. That meant that I would not be allowed to visit with them until the date of my next hearing four months later. That tore my insides apart as I was extremely close to my children. Even during the separation, I spoke with my children on the phone every night. I saw them almost every weekend. I fought as hard as I could to object the restraining order. That’s’ why the Judge showed me what she thought was mercy by allowing me to call my ex’s cell phone between 6-8 pm each night.
But my ex never answered her cell phone.
My lawyer wrote my ex’s lawyer a letter complaining about the lack of contact and he responded that even though the order said I could call, it did not say she had to answer. I was shocked that a lawyer could be so petty and callous. He knew that my children wanted to speak with me but it was just a game to him.
I went through complete and total embarrassment when I was first served with my fraudulent restraining order as I had two cops come to my door unannounced. They treated me like a piece of dirt as they entered my home and rifled through my belongings looking for weapons without any concern that they were violating my constitutional rights. I felt angry and violated.
My son did not speak to me for 11 months because his mother told him I did not want to see him or buy him anything for Christmas. The first Christmas after my order was issued, my oldest son was asking for a fishing pole for a present. When I asked my lawyer how I should send gifts to my kids, he told me I could not. I was crushed that I could not send them any gifts.
But, I simply could not.
First, it was a violation of the no contact provision that’s included in all restraining orders.
Second, if I sent a present to my children, my ex could say there was a threatening message to her included in the package. And, when I tried to explain to my son that I was not allowed to send a gift, my son did not believe me. My ex actually told him that I just did not want to send him a present. I was angry and hurt. I could not believe that my son thought I was lying.
I got frustrated being the only one playing by the rules. I wanted to pull all of my hair out when my ex told all of my children that I did not want to see them. Even though it took me four (4) court hearings to re-establish visitation with them, my ex was telling them that I just did not have time for them. To this day, despite everything I have done to get them back in my life, I am sure they still believe her lies to a certain extent.
I couldn’t even be at my son’s side during his time of need. One Sunday morning, I receive a phone call that my son was being hospitalized and that he wanted me to come see him. My son was so adamant in the hospital that he wanted to speak with me, I am sure that’s the only reason why I was informed. I bet my ex didn’t want a mandatory reporter to document that he wasn’t permitted to speak with me. In any event, when he told me he was ill I immediately dropped everything and made the 4-hour trip from NJ to Massachusetts.
On my way to the hospital, my former father in-law called me and told me that I was not allowed to come to the hospital. He said that since my ex-wife was there that it would be a violation of the order. I was incensed. I could not believe that my son needed me to be by his side in the hospital and my ex father in-law was telling me I could not be there. In an irrational moment, I told my ex-father in law that not only was I coming but that he had better have enough law enforcement there if he wanted to try to stop me from seeing my son.
When I got to the emergency room, there were three police officers waiting there for me. They told me that my ex had left the building for 20 minutes and that if I was still there when she got back they would arrest me.
They looked like they would have enjoyed it.
The court prevented me from seeing my children for almost a year. My children were moved to another state against my wishes and I was forced to move away from all of my friends and family to pursue my case for custody. When I finally won the right to see my children, it could only happen under the watchful eye of a visitation supervisor in a sterile government facility for two hours every two weeks.
So, why would my Ex do such a despicable thing to me and our children you might ask?
Here Are Just 4 Of The 13 Ulterior Motives My Ex Had For Seeking A Protective Order Against Me:
- To keep me from my children as a cruel punishment.
- To quickly get custody of my children without a hearing. Yes, this is possible and you won’t get your children back if you don’t know what to do.
- To control and manipulate me.
- To enjoy watching me suffer.
I could go on - in fact you probably can't imagine nine things worse than these - but trust me, it happened to me as you'll see in Restraining Order 911.
Needless to say, she accomplished every one of her objectives. I suffered for close to 20 months until I was able to gather enough evidence to prove my innocence.
So, how did I clear my name?
I’m not going to lie to you. I’m going to tell point blank -- it wasn't easy. When I was first served with the restraining order, I was scared and confused. I had no idea how the system worked. All I knew was if I tried to see or contact my kids that I’d go to jail. When I asked my lawyer (who I was paying $350 an hour) questions, he refused to answer me. He actually told me, "I'm not here to give you a legal education." At that moment, I knew I had to take control over my own destiny and take action.
So I fired my lawyer. And, I had to keep finding and firing lawyers. Eventually I was fortunate enough to find another lawyer who did answer my questions. While the other lawyers were part of the "Divorce Industry," my new one turned out to be one in a million! Not only did he stay with me through 4 hearings and an appeal until I could prove my innocence, he also taught me the tips I share in Restraining Order 911.
"...Mr. Lasorsa knows what he's talking about!"
(Click Play to Hear The Full Story Now)
I’m an attorney who has been practicing divorce and custody law for twenty years. I even went through my own custody battle. I have seen these issues from both a legal and a practical standard and Mr. Lasorsa knows what he’s talking about. The information in Restraining Order 911 is practical, understandable, and applicable.
Mike
Baltimore, MD
Here Is What You Will Find in Restraining Order 911:
8 reasons why sitting back & letting your lawyer handle your divorce case is the BIGGEST MISTAKE you can make -- Lawyers and social workers make this process out to be black magic whereby you need their expert guidance to get through it. This is simply not true. Everything you need to know to beat any false restraining order can be found in this simple, easy-to-understand eBook.
How to stay in charge of your divorce case by limiting the roles of lawyers, mediators, and other professionals.
Information culled from my own real-life experiences that will walk you through the emotional, legal, and economic realities of a difficult divorce.
The consequences of temporary restraining orders.
The most important way to protect yourself and your children against a false restraining order! Many defendants lose their case before they even begin because they fail to abide by this rule.
Ten things you need to do immediately to stay out of jail.
Insider secrets that most people do not know. They are not even found in legal books that are held in a law library. These tips have been developed by an experienced attorney who has fought these orders for many years in court and knows exactly what to do to give you a fighting chance.
The #1 violation that will send you to jail and jeopardize your case. Violation of a restraining order is a criminal matter, punishable by a fine and a jail term. Even though restraining orders are civil matters which involves conflicts between two people, violations of them are criminal matters, meaning the state will prosecute a violator.
How you can be lulled into a false sense of security and find yourself handcuffed in the back of a police car the moment your ex-wife gets mad at you again.
3 Traps many women set to ruin your life out of revenge.
How to represent yourself and be prepared using vital information on the laws, statutes, and methods of research available to everyone—not just attorneys!
The most important key legal definitions you need in order to knock the restraining order out of the box before it is even issued.
4 sources to obtain information about the laws that pertain to restraining orders in your particular state.
What is the most important part of any law pertained to your case. In many cases, the complaining party is charging something that may not be against the law, or fit the legal definition of fear as defined by the law.
Where you should look to see if your particular statute has changed.
The easiest way to find out what changes have been made by courts.
How to be prepared when your lawyer or the Judge asks a question. You will have the answer right in front of you!
How to get the documented proof you need to leave your soon-to-be or ex-spouse unprepared.
And, that’s just chapters 1 and 2!
"If we would have had this book before he was arrested it would have made a world of difference."
(Click Play to Hear The Full Story Now)
I ordered Restraining Order 911 after my significant other was incarcerated. If we would have had this book before he was arrested it would have made a world of difference. I highly recommend the book.
Diane
Ashby, NH
Here’s What Else You Will Find in Restraining Order 911:
What the single most important piece to building your defense is and where you can find it.
How to get your court files even if the court clerk denies you of your rights.
How to get an audio recording of a secret hearing that you weren’t even invited to attend.
Why evidence isn’t only important on crime shows on TV.
Exactly what types of evidence can save your butt from going to jail.
How to use phone records and bills to prove your innocence.
Know what to expect before you go to court! Procedures vary from state to state.
How to confront and cross-examine your accuser in the most effective way to blow their story out of the water without breaking any rules.
Find out exactly who and where you can get the information that will allow you to follow all the rules and avoid losing on a stupid technicality.
Learn how and why just the way you look and speak could cause you to be viewed as an abuser for the rest of your life.
Learn who the most dangerous person in the room and it isn’t the Judge or even your wife’s attorney.
- Be prepared to watch emotional displays and dramatic accusations that are orchestrated by the victim-witness advocate.
"Restraining Order 911 is just the resource to help men
served with restraining orders by ex-spouses
avoid a considerable amount of pain and suffering!"
There is a HUGE chance that if you are a man in a relationship or marriage, you will one day be completely blindsided by a restraining order levied upon you by your partner or spouse. This will happen when you least expect it after an argument one day while you are at work, or driving home, or heading to a basketball game. This will likely be the result of a strategy to end a relationship with you and come out of it as much of a "winner" as the law will allow (and believe me, it will allow a LOT!).
I have met countless men over the years that NEVER imagined it would happen to them. These men would call someone crazy when they ever suggested this could happen to them. But when it happened, they were shocked and upset beyond imagination and some were even ill informed enough to try to "make things right" by trying to reconcile with the alleged victim. The result was that they quickly made it to jail for some gesture like a phone call or a box of flowers.
Restraining Order 911 is just the resource that these men could have used to provide some invaluable knowledge and avoid a considerable amount of pain and suffering. Luckily, it is available NOW so if this fits your situation, BUY IT! It will be the smallest yet most valuable payment you will make on the road to defending yourself against which you have found yourself.
Sincerely,
Jeff Oligny
President, National Congress for Fathers and Children
www.ncfcnh.org
Restraining Order 911 is the bottom line best investment
in your future that you can make when the threat of divorce
and losing your children becomes a reality!
in your future that you can make when the threat of divorce
and losing your children becomes a reality!
You will also learn:
- The single most effective way to defend yourself.
- How to counter her argument with your own explanation of the events that led to the Restraining Order against you.
- How to explain your position in a logical and intelligent manner.
- How to defend yourself to the bitter end to keep your children off the order.
- How to demand proof that you are a danger to your family—and watch while they grasp at straws!
- How to pry your children out from under a frivolous order by defeating “abuse inflation,” which occurs when nothing was said at the original hearing, but suddenly all kinds of horrible things you did to beat, batter and threaten your children are invented on the spot.
- Learn how to keep the feds off your case. Failure to follow this advice is an easy way to wind up in the Federal Penitentiary.
"This has been the most helpful information my husband has found to defend himself in court."
(Click Play to Hear The Full Story Now)
My son is involved in the divorce from hell. She filed a restraining order against him without ever being abused. This has been the most helpful information he has found.
Patti
St. Louis, MO
I have personally used all of these tips to stay out of jail and prove my innocence and get my children back into my life.
Reading this book from cover-to-cover will provide the knowledge to ensure the respect from those you face throughout the restraining order hearing process. This may be your own lawyer, your ex-spouse, your opposing lawyer, and even the judge.
But don't take my word for it.
See my actual Order and read what the Judge said:
(If you can't read the Judge's order in the PDF,
this is what it says:)
See my actual Order and read what the Judge said:
this is what it says:)
Plaintiff has not shown past incidences of physical "abuse" by the defendant.
Plaintiff has not met his/her burden of showing a reasonable threat of imminent serious physical harm.
And I do find the defendant (ME!) credible.
I further find:
I do not find the plaintiff (HER!) Credible/Her testimony was conclusory + lacked any corroboration such as police reports or telephone records. Her "fear" based on such factors as D's (Defendant – ME) status as a Marine and a college wrestler (over 20 years ago) is unconvincing. The alleged 209A (Restraining Order in MA) violations – e-mails – were not sent to the Plaintiff (HER) but to her fiancée which is not prohibited by the RO. I do not find at this time any reasonable threat of imminent physical harm to the Plaintiff (HER).
I know what you are thinking..."If a lawyer helped you then why shouldn't I just use one?" I’m NOT telling you not to get a lawyer.
But, I’m telling you if you want to beat the divorce system – you need to take an active role in your case. You NEED to educate yourself and You NEED Restraining Order 911.
But, I’m telling you if you want to beat the divorce system – you need to take an active role in your case. You NEED to educate yourself and You NEED Restraining Order 911.
7 Great Reasons to Invest in
Restraining Order 911:
 | Lawyers are expensive. I spent a ton of money on defending myself and you might not have the cash I once did. My ex and I collectively paid over $250,000 in legal fees to six different attorneys in two different states. For the price of a burger and a couple of beers, I will show you how to stay out of jail and how to stay in your children’s lives. |
 | Most Lawyers are part of the "Divorce Industry." This same "Divorce Industry" perpetuates the Restraining Order racket in the first place. Most lawyers will just go through the motions and throw you under the bus anyway. After trying lawyer after lawyer that would NOT answer my questions, I finally found that one in a million lawyer who actually cared about me and my case. Do you really want to take that chance? Do you want to spend thousands of dollars and do you want to spend months suffering from emotional distress like I did? |
 | You need to educate yourself. Even if you do find a good lawyer, he will never know as much about the details of your case as you do, or care about the results as much as you do. There are thousands of innocent dads being kept out of their children’s lives right now. These dads relied on legal advice and information only from friends, relatives, and their divorce lawyer. If only they had taken the time to educate themselves first. It is as if they went into battle without an army. Do not let this be you! |
 | This complete divorce resource answers your restraining order questions specifically from father’s point of view in a practical, easy-to-read approach. Restraining Order 911 is perfect for any husband and/or father preparing to divorce. This manual eliminates regrets and will allow you to make educated decisions which you will feel comfortable and confident with. When you are comfortable and confident with your decisions, you will greatly increases your chances of beating the divorce system. |
 | What you are experiencing is going to be the most difficult time of your life. Vengeful divorces can easily break anyone emotionally and financially if they let it. Your future and your kids’ futures are now in your hands more than ever. This manual lets you know your rights. And, it will provide you with the desired knowledge you need without a lot of difficult legal language to understand. I give you step-by-step information on how I fought my restraining order and how I won my dignity, my livelihood and my kids back! |
 | I’m offering you a FREE BONUS e-Book – The Root of All Evil, Part 2. You already downloaded a FREE e-Book. And, now I’m offering you another FREE e-Book. So you’re actually getting 3 eBooks for the price of 1! |
 | I even have a 100% money back guarantee! You won’t ever find a lawyer that guarantees satisfaction. They’re just after the money in your wallet. I truly care about your success. And, I truly care about your children’s future. That’s why I founded The Kids Come First Coalition. It’s my life mission to advocate for the children of divorce. By helping you, I’m helping your children. Children who grow up without their fathers suffer – trust me I know. I never knew my father because he became a victim of divorce. So, nothing is more important to me than your satisfaction. That’s why I’m offering you a 365 day, 100% money back guarantee! |
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"...Practical tips for parents who get caught up in the nightmare of divorce."
(Click Play to Hear The Full Story Now)
It’s not a book about gender bashing. It’s a book about practical tips for parents who get caught up in the nightmare of divorce.
Rosalind
Florida
When You Invest in Restraining Order 911, You Will Also Receive 2 FREE Bonus e-Books…"Root of All Evil Part 1: How the Divorce Industry Steals Kids Away From Innocent Dads" and “Root of All Evil Part 2: How the Divorce Industry Financially Cripples Innocent Dads"
In your 1st bonus eBook …Root of All Evil Part 1: How the Divorce Industry Steals Kids Away From Innocent Dads"…you will learn...
What the most destructive piece of legislation ever enacted against the American family is.
How your soon-to-be ex-spouse can and most likely will take FULL advantage of this law to keep you away from your children and ruin your life forever.
How easily our legal system is manipulated in favor of women. That’s exactly why many innocent fathers just are faced fraudulent protection orders or restraining orders and dragged through the court system. As a divorced father you can lose your home, car, livelihood, children and even your freedom, all based on your spouse making a false accusation that you threatened her.
How the Violence Against Women Act created the current epidemic of Restraining Orders and Domestic violence orders. A restraining order is issued every 32 seconds in this country. What is facilitating the dreaded parental alienation syndrome! Because of this, my oldest son refused to talk to me for more than 11 months!
How much taxes we’re paying to fund this abomination that splits up our families.
How the Violence Against Women’s Act can strip you of your rights, dignity and your life if you don’t have the right resources and information available at your fingertips.
In your 2nd bonus eBook …”Root of All Evil Part 2: How the Divorce Industry Financially Cripples Innocent Dads"…you will learn...
Reveals the truly evil result of welfare reform and how it provided the financial incentive to rip apart the American family.
Proves once again that the road to hell is paved with good intentions and that even the most well meaning law can and will be subverted by the evil “Divorce industry.”
Points fingers and reveals exactly how the “divorce industry” gets paid to separate you from your kids.
Explains why the ever-expanding definition of poverty makes more and more families vulnerable to being sucked into the Divorce machine’s grip.
Discloses the obscene amounts of money being pumped into the states by the federal government.
Introduces you to the “storm troopers” of the divorce industry.
Let you know just who will show up at your door to shake you down.
So, Now You Have Two Choices…
Choice 1:
You can continue to be victimized and separated from your children! You can let your children believe your ex’s lies. And, you can let your kids wonder why you chose NOT to fight harder to stay in their lives
- Or -
Choice 2:
You can invest in Restraining Order 911 and keep your home, your money, your car, your livelihood and most importantly your children.
"I wish I found it six years ago. Maybe I’d still be able
to see my kids."
(Click Play to Hear The Full Story Now)
I’ve never seen another resource like it. Believe the book because restraining orders are a serious issue. I wish I found it six years ago. Maybe I’d still be able to see my kids.
Phil
Medway, MA
Now, I know that you’re a caring father. I know you don’t want to be kept out of your children’s lives. You don’t want to miss their basketball games, softball games, martial arts competitions and dance recitals. You don’t want to miss their birthday parties and their graduations. You don’t want to miss watching your children grow up.
So YOU MUST NOT Let Anyone Keep You Out
of Your Children’s Lives!
Here’s What You Need to Do Next:
Reserve Your Copy of
Restraining Order 911
It's 100% Guaranteed and Available to you Instantly in PDF format.
Retail Price $54.97
Sale Price $37.00!
Here’s How To Claim Your Copy…It’s Easy
Just have your Visa, MasterCard, Discover or American Express handy, click on the Secure Order link below and once you have paid, you will be able to download all 3 e-books in PDF format immediately!
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The information found in Restraining Order 911 and in your bonus e-Books will help you stay out of jail. And, it will help protect you and your children. But, because the divorce industry wants to get rich off your pain and suffering, I’m not sure how much longer my e-books will be made available to the public.
Lawyers want to charge you hefty fees for this information. Remember, my ex and I spent more than $250,000 on legal fees. The government is making billions of dollars off innocent dads just like you and me.
Even a mob boss would be embarrassed to skim as much money as the” Divorce Industry” does from those who may truly need it.
I only hope that I can help you, before the “Divorce Industry” shuts me down permanently. If you wait until tomorrow, you may NOT have the chance to get the vital information you need to beat the divorce system.
To make it even easier for you to act right now, I’m even offering you my…
100% Satisfaction Guarantee!
This Is My Crazy, 365-Day 100% Guarantee!
I will never be satisfied unless you are satisfied with my products. So here is my simple "No Small Print" Guarantee.
Buy "Restraining Order 911" Now! If it isn't useful or if you are unhappy with it for any reason, just return it and I will refund all of your money. And, keep the e-book with my compliments. Just tell me specifically what you didn't like about it.
That's it!
I have no problem making this iron clad guarantee because I am so sure these tips work.
Fair enough?
So, are you ready to take action so you can protect yourself and your children?
Great!
Sincerely,
Ron Lasorsa, The Chidren's Advocate
Founder, Kids Come First Coalition
P.S. Let's be blunt. If you pass on this offer, you stand a very good chance of winding up in jail. The system is merciless and without the advice of somebody who has been through it, you will be crushed. Afterwards, you will wish you bought it, but you won't have it and it will be too late. Face it. What you need are facts, NOW!
P.P.S. Don't forget, your purchase is 100% risk-free and protected by my 365-day money-back guarantee, no questions asked. You MUST be satisfied and get results... or you don't pay a single red cent. It's that simple.
P.P.P.S. All the information presented on this site presumes that you are in fact innocent of whatever charges you are accused of. Neither I nor the other members of the Kids Come First Coalition condone physical or emotional abuse in any form. If you did do it, seek professional help. If you didn’t do it INVEST IN MY BOOK!
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Dear Absent/Divorced Father:
Although we have never met and we don't really know each other, I understand that you are involved in a messy divorce involving one or more children, and I do know something of what you are going thru. I have been divorced three times myself. I was involved on the sidelines of divorces involving my two brothers and two sons (a total of 5). I was involved on the sidelines of quite a few divorces involving my friends. And when I was a lawyer, I handled approximately a thousand divorces.
I really do know something of what you are going thru.
I am sure that you want to be a loving and involved father to your wonderful children; and you are frustrated because you can't live with them. That is exactly what happened to me, one of my brothers, both of my sons and some of my friends.
Based on my experiences, described above, I have some advice for you. Some of this advice will be difficult to hear, and even more difficult to follow. I wasn't always able to follow it myself. And yet, I know this advice is completely correct.
First lesson: to be a loving, involved father in the lives of your children (as I am sure you want to be) you absolutely must not try to tear down or hurt their mother.
Every hurt suffered by her hurts your children. It is impossible to hurt her without hurting them. Every pain she feels, every inconvenience or disturbance she experiences means that she is that much less able to be the joyful, attentive, loving mother they need to prosper and develop. She is a strong woman, but nobody can conceal sadness or pain from children.
If you want your children to be happy (and you certainly do), then you MUST also want her to be happy. If you want them to prosper (and you certainly do), then you MUST also want her to prosper. One without the other is impossible.
Because you (obviously) don't want to hurt your them, you absolutely must swallow your pain and anger. You have to roll with the punches. You HAVE to. You don't have the choice of hurting her while being a loving father to them.
Second lesson: involved, loving fathers provide for their children. In today's society, "provide for" means money. It is OK to buy gifts for your them; toys, video games and the like. But you also MUST put food on their table, contribute to their rent, help pay for their socks and underwear.
Since you are not rich, you can't give her (them) large sums of money. But you can give her (them) some money. And you can not give money to them without giving it to her.
And it MUST be regular. Every week or every month does not matter. Regularity does. Our love does not come and go, so providing funds can not come and go.
Your children will remember the toys, but they will better remember that each and every week/month, their Dad came thru with some money. It does not have to be, and it probably can not be, large amounts of money. Regularity is much more important than size.
Third lesson: involved loving fathers are in regular contact with their children. Your right to physical visits might be limited, you might be too far away for regular visits to be practical, but you can write letters, send emails, and call. As in the case of the money, the visits and these other contacts MUST be both as regular and as happy as you can possibly make them.
Ask about school, friends, homework, hobbies. Remember special days (important tests, friends' birthday parties and so on) and ask about them. Comment on clothes, movies, haircuts, books and other things. Show that you know about their lives. And make every comment and question loving, happy and supportive. What ever the conditions of the contact, make each one something they fondly remember and look forward to doing again.
Absolutely never say one bad word about their mother. Completely hide your anger from them. A child who knows (feels) that the two most important people in their lives (their mother and father) are fighting is a scared, confused, unhappy child.
Nothing good can come from that.
Final lesson (and maybe the most important one): be really happy. Find a job you enjoy and work hard to be good at it. Get a hobby, and have fun doing it. The "high" from drugs, alcohol and other addictive behavior (for me it was gambling as much as anything) is false (no surprise there). Consider getting into a 12-step program and if you do, go to meetings every day, even twice a day, if necessary. But most of all, turn yourself into a happy person.
It is extremely difficult, maybe impossible, to be a loving, involved father if you, yourself, are deeply unhappy, angry or otherwise filled with negativity.
But if you are a happy person, lessons one, two and three will suddenly become easy to follow; automatic even. You will follow them because those are the kinds of things a happy, loving, involved father does.
P.S. Every single word here applies to the mother, as well as to every parent, regardless of marital status.
Life is extremely difficult these days. One minute I'm crying, the next screaming. Cannot be consoled, cajoled or any other plesantries.
Do not understand how I became the outsider, the enemy, how did we get here?
Being lied to, left out of his life, not telling me anything he is going through, like I would not understand or care. I have never lied to my husband, never left him out of the loop, right down to which roads I drove down to get home. Guess he needed to know to avoid being seen!!!
Tired of always being the responsible parent, would like to runaway from it all as well!!! Even our son realizes how selfish his father is. He told his friends his dad is never around when he needs him, his dad only calls or comes around when he does not have anyone else to be with or entertain him. Sad his only child sees him for what he is.
No need to respond, just venting. Sure some have been here before and may not want to revisit, don't blame you. Can't wait for the whole thing to be over, it hurts so bad and there is no relief!!!!
It's been over a year since I really did anything on here. I've signed in now and then just to see what people are saying and see what's going on. I've felt like writing, just to write, a couple times, but nothing came of it... until today. I was looking back at some of my old entries, and wow, what a pile of self-pity I was last year haha. Let me just say thank you to all of you for giving me so much support as I was going through the hardest time of my life to date, and for continually reading my thoughts.
A lot has happened in the last year, and I won't bore you with the details, but for those who are interested, I have been officically divorced since April. By the time that date came around, the event actually sparked celebration! I'm glad to have it past me. I rarely give her a thought anymore, except when she comes up in conversation or I see her at work, and even then, it no longer phases me.
I have an amazing group of friends, and that group only continues to grow as I continue to meet new people and experience new things. I've been dating an incredible woman for 2 months, and I couldn't be happier. It's strange to look back at where my life was not two years ago compared to now. I thought my life was falling apart, and I guess in a sense, it was. But ya know what? Life is great!
Do the ideals of marriage remain the same for remarriages? Most of us have assumptions as to what makes a marriage successful. Historically the cornerstone of a successful marriage in this country has been trust and some measure of equality. Trust that our partner has our best interests, both financially and emotionally, at heart and that both partners are working together towards common goals. Are these fundamentals of successful marriages the same for subsequent marriages or do remarriages warrant an updated, revised version of the old ideals?
How do remarriages live up to first marriage ideals? When partners come into a second marriage with baggage (kids, debt, ex’s, past hurts/traumas) is it realistic to aspire to ideals that are formed fitting first marriages? Ideals that are formed without accounting for baggage? Is the ability to or level of trust irreparably compromised in a remarriage simply by having participated in a divorce? Are finances handled the same when the financial scenario is not pristine? Does equality remain consistent when perhaps financial circumstances are inconsistent in a remarriage?
Does the meaning of marriage change when partners have experienced a failed marriage? Do we need a new set of ideals for subsequent marriages that takes into account issues that surround remarriages or is the point of an ideal that it is to be worked at and aspired to? Do the fundamentals remain true even when the partners have not?
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