Disappointment @ MindSay

Wow, that was lucky figuring out how to add that. Random button choose: Toggle HTML Source. FTW

I saw DISTURBED AND IT WAS FUCKIN' AWESOME!!

Other than that, I'm not feelin' so great.

So much disappointment, I don't even wanna think about it.

So tired lately... x.x

Things that are endearing about Deadpool as a character include:  Inane observations and banter, his horrible visage that pulls from his interesting backstory and pairs up with his mild insanity, his apparent (although maybe not real) ignorance that covers a lot of his communication, his irreverance, THE FACT THAT HE FAILS A LOT.

Somehow in the Wolverine movie they've made him a pretty-boy that is just damnably good at everything he does.  Dude intentionally slices a flying bullet in two and kills two guys with it.  What is that?  In fact, the only thing he does that really plays to character is the fact that he just does not shut up.  If they had better writers, that might be enough, but most of the lines barely illicit a smile.  After a couple of minutes, it's just too disappointing to watch.

And they kinda screwed up every character's history for really no reason at all.  And the story they put in to replace it wasn't just unnecessary, it was uncompelling.  Wolverine killed his and Sabertooth's dad with bone claws and then joined the army.  Just... what?

That was just weird.

I'm waiting on a phone call from my friend Shelley to see if we're going to go snowboarding tomorrow (it's not looking good in my mind, because she's not calling back and also tomorrow is a holiday and watch, the mountain's closed), so my phone is in my pocket.  A few moments ago, it rang.

"You have a call from (unintelligble male voice, speaking for less than one second)".  The message repeated twice.  Then the automated voice says, "Do you accept this call? If so, it will be at a rate of $9.99 for the first 20 minutes.  To accept this call, press 1 on  your phone.  If you do not accept, please hang up".  So I hung up.  But I looked at it, and it was a 561 number not stored in my phone.

I have a word document (okay, it's an excel sheet, don't judge) of everyone's phone #s from when I got my new phone and the old one didn't transfer them over and I realized 'hey, I might want to have that stuff written down somewhere in case my phone ever craps out and I need a phone number'.  Then I used my Master's Degree and said, 'why don't I check that since I never put all the #s into the new phone?'.  So I did. 

I knew instantly that 561 was a Florida area code (weird tidbits like that stick with me:  area codes, zips, birthdays...), and when I looked at them, they were indeed Floridian friends' numbers that showed up.  Unfortunately, this particular 561 phone number wasn't one I knew.

Then, very briefly, I said, "oo! Ryan lives in Florida!  Maybe it was Ryan!".
Ignore the fact that Ryan lives in Miami, which is not in that area code.  Neglect for a minute the fact that Ryan and I stopped communicating in...August.  Also neglect for a minute that we never exchanged phone numbers, and though we're friends on facebook, I don't list my number on there so he didn't randomly write it down.

If you DON'T neglect all that, you might be with me at the right level of disappointment when I realized 'hey, that wasn't Ryan calling me (collect) to talk'.  Yeah.  Sucked.

::sighs::

I say everyday that I am not going to let other people's failures stress me out. But everyday, I think to myself what kind of people act that way. I try to be cordial, because I don't want to end up estranged like my aunts and uncles, but it gets harder everyday. I wonder how one says to their mother that they are an embarrassment, or spends everyday mooching her into bankruptcy. I wonder how adults can do these things, and still look themselves in the mirror. I know I have been far from the perfect child. I was, and still can be sometimes, a wild child. I have cursed my mom, hit my mom, bit my mom, and many other things that I AM NOT PROUD OF. I have learned hard lessons in life because I refused to listen and learn from others. I had to have things my way, or no way at all. And I found that by acting this way, and conducting my life this way, I was always miserable. So I decided to change. It has been a hard road most days. Learning to control yourself once you get to be an adult is more than quite difficult. But slowly I have learned to do so for the most part. And now that I have reached a point in my life where I am pretty much self sufficient, I wonder how these people can function everyday. Maybe that is hypocritical of me because I have spent many a day and night acting out and just plain being an ass. But when I see my mother bust her ass everyday, and have nothing to show for it because she is so busy making sure everyone else is happy, it hurts my feelings. It makes me angry really. How can you sit back and see that, and it not affect you at all? How can you form your mouth to tell her that she is the embarrassment? What do you have? What have you accomplished in your life? How do you look at your own child and feel good knowing how you feel about your own mother? Last time I checked, she is the reason you are here to start with, and the one you run to when you figure out your friends aren't all they are cracked up to be. She is also the one who took you back in because that same man that you are embarrassed to introduce to her wouldn't let you live off him. And no, you aren't the only one I am disappointed in. I expected more from both of you, and while it's not me that you have to make happy, it still hurts to see you this way. It hurts more to see what you're doing to mom though. She sacrificed her whole life for us, and this is what she gets for it????? Sarcasm, blatant disrespect, no help, attitude?? She doesn't have to help you at all. You are both intelligent, capable adults who could do for yourselves. But yet, you choose to sit by and let her drown. Not in her own mess, but mostly in yours. She is not without faults, and neither am I, but we try. We try everyday to make sure everyone has what they need, and stays as happy as we can make them. Yet, we get the short end of the deal, always. I wish you could see, or would see exactly what you are doing to her. You are killing her and you don't even care.