Dirt @ MindSay

good thing I woke early and hit the front yard as it's now raining again. I managed to eliminate one large half dead shrub, take down a small rock wall that was buried under years of dirt and reposition them around the "water" aka mud. It will take a few days for all the mud so sink and let me clear it out so it looks more black or maybe even green... especially the water fall.. hahahaha... well not quite.


But the redwood against the violets looks great and my columbines are blooming as is the jack in the pulpit hidden within the maidenhair ferns. and now jim is building a raised bed within part of the redwood walkway and i will plant gypsophylia from seed. always good to have and such a heavenly scent. My paltry little peony has not died .......yet. I will be amazed if next year it really takes over. Now i just have to finish hiding the black rubber that lines the muddy hole, get my stone pagoda, do something to hide the electricity post, and plant the remaining ajuga along the water's edges. Yahoo !!!

The other great thing is the full bath off the garden room. once again I came into the house literally covered in mud.... stripped down to bare skin, jumped in the shower and wrapped in a towel. tossed the muddy gardening clothes into the washer and came upstairs all clean and ready for warm clothing. The weather predictions which are REALLY laughable out here is for weather in the 80's later in the week so Jim and I will head straight for cannon beach  or tillamook. anyone want some cheese?

- tonight in class, I got to use a soldering iron, and let me tell you something, it was enjoyable (and scary!) and I would probably like to do that again.

- in NO WAY can I believe this story:  http://www.newsday.com/news/local/ny-liburg0329,0,5231200.story 
no way.  Not Anthony.  I've worked with several other people in my years who I can actually envision doing that, but not Anthony.  So if it's false, the damage it's doing to his reputation is irrepairable.  And if it's true, my soul is absolutely crushed.

There's no win in this situation.


((happy opening day, all!  too bad the Yanks didn't get to play))

we got the trees in the ground before the heavy rains started. jim built a ramp so we could use a hand truck to haul them into the area and then we slowly twisted them into the holes he had dug. and as long as we were all muddy we weeded the back area and planted lupine and larkspur and prespared the corner for the california poppies.

all my columbines which self seeded last year are popping up and the bulbs i planted VERY late in the fall are all emerging. it has just begun to rain and we are doing five loads of laundry today. I just adore it here- every season, but spring is REALLY spectacular.  warmer weather also means we can finally paint the bedroom dark green and make it into a true cozy boudoir.  WOW it's really pouring now. go !!!

Dixie currently feels:

Thirsty

 

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I really hate that smiley right now.

I would kill for an extra large glass of smooth, creamy Pepsi...

...We have about 1/6 of a 2 litre bottle of Coca-Cola downstairs.

My famished throat is screaming out for carbonated sugar.

 

 

I'm in a really bad mood today.

 

For starters, it's a Friday.

I'm always knackered on a Friday morning, and I can never wake up.

I didn't have any clean shirts, because I'd forgotten to wash them - so I had to wear one from earlier, which I sprayed under the pits with perfume.

 

My rucksack ended up immense once again - but today, it was bigger than ever before.

My rucksack has three compartments.

 

• Front section
• Middle section
• Back section

The front section is the smallest, and that's where I keep my school planner, my USB stick, my keys, and SR - if he's travelling with me that day.

The middle section is for coursework and textbooks. It's also where I keep both of my pencil cases and my art folders and English files.

The back section is where my lunchbox goes - my hooded jacket, if I was wearing it - and my PE kit, if it's a Friday or a Wednesday.

 

Seeing as how it WAS a Friday, I had to walk the full way to school, with my black Converse in the back section pressing on my lunchbox - and having a corner of a sharp tuppaware box digging in my spine.

Not fun.

 

...I've just remembered.

I took a quid this morning to get myself some junk food from the paper shop on the way up.

I bought two bars of 15p Cadbury's chocolate - which I break into three small strips and munch before we even get out onto the main road - Normanby Road.

I also bought myself a 50p can of fizzy Vimto - and if I'm not mistaken... It's still in the front section?

 

 

Aaaah...

Yes it is.

 

It's not even that warm, considering it's been inside my bag all day.

 

Okay so...

First period was ICT - which flew by.

We're making fictional companies and databases on Microsoft Access to go with them.

I've made a stock sheet, a customer list, and a bookings list - because it's a holiday company.

Today I made the stock sheet, and I was just writing down all these foods and drinks that came to mind.

 

Alcoholic drinks and gourmet food, mainly.

Oh, and some spa treatment stuff - like body butter and massage oil from the "Lush Spa Services Suppliers".

 

Second period was PE - in which I did nothing.

I'm well known in our year at being an expert on sexual slang and sexual things.

I honestly don't know why either.

I've never once had sex, hetrosexual or homosexual - but, I read.

 

I read websites, I read blogs and articles, - I find out thinks that nobody else will ever think I'll know.

So Mel asked me what a "slobberdash" and a "donkey punch" was.

Of course, I defined them both instantly.

 

Her boyfriend sounds like a right sort... Jeeeeeeeez.

 

At break, Carl had a packet of Bourbon Creams and he shared them with Sam, David, Thomas and I.

I took one, and it was nice.

I prefer Custard Creams to Bourbon Creams, but. A free biscuit is always nice.

 

Third lesson - Science.

All we were doing was balancing equations all lesson.

Fine, don't get me wrong - I'm a straight A in Science.

But there's only SO many times I can write:

 

"2Na (s) + 2H2O (l) ---- 2NaOH (aq) + H2 (g)"

 

Okay, so sorry for incorporating CHEMISTRY into my blog.

Please forgive me.

 

Fourth lesson was Music.

Last term, we all did solo performances on whatever instrument we play - and we were filmed.

It truly is humiliating, watching yourself sat at a keyboard, trembling - playing everything right - but looking like you're about to faint.

 

I've never been a good performer.

 

During lunch break, I went to the library as normal - everyone was arranging flowers.

Our librarian likes to liven things up a bit by organising strange things for everyone to do.

I didn't feel like arranging flowers - I'd had enough of that when I went for my week's work experience in Parkfield Florists in Eston.

 

Honestly - they made me condition SO MANY flowers - with no gloves.

After you've de-thorned your tenth rose - WITH YOUR BARE HANDS - you'd be quite annoyed too.

 

Last lesson was English - and we read another two chapters of "To Kill A Mockingbird."

I was made to read it in year eight - and I despised it.

For some reason, I now love it.

 

We're watching the 1960's black and white film too.

It's quite good, exactly how I imagined Maycomb County actually looking - but Mary Badham, who plays Scout - who was ten at the time (I looked that up too. ) - has the most annoying squeakiest voice in the universe that REALLY grinds on you.

 

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Aww, I don't have any more Vimto.

 

And I'm STILL thirsty!

ARGH.

 

 

In the library after school I felt sad.

I sat down beside the photocopier and had a little cry to myself.

 

Then I put my glasses back on and walked over to where Claire was - sat talking to my learning mentor/miniature counsellor, Julia Parry; only I just call her Parry.

 

Claire was facing away from me, so I put my arms around her back and rested my cheek on her shoulder.

She got annoyed with me when I was breathing hard on her back.

I've done it before - if you breathe heavily through fabric, it really burns the skin underneath.

So Claire was snapping at me, saying it was too hot - to get off her.

 

That made me sad.

I don't like to annoy people who I like.

I stopped breathing on her and I cried on her right shoulder.

 

I didn't make a great deal of noise, other than the occassional sniff - but, Claire seems to be rather sensetive to anything - she could feel my tears absorbing into her jumper.

 

"You better not be crying on me."

- Claire goes.

 

It didn't sound threatening, but more of a concerned tone.

I stopped after a while.

 

Claire wanted to remove her purple hair extension today.

She held her hair back at the side and asked me to pull it out.

I didn't want to hurt her, so I pulled it gently.

She still winced, though.

 

I've kept a bit of her hair.

I put it inside a clear plastic wallet inside my artwork ringbinder.

 

Claire's hair is like a burgundy-purple-brown.

It's a bit odd, but it suits her.

 

I got to watch Claire, Sammie and Ashleigh all running like loonies down Normanby Road for the 64 bus to Grangetown.

 

Now imagine  this - Claire is really small, she's a few inches smaller than me - and her electric guitar she carries on her back is almost as big as she is.

So imagine her with the guitar, with files and music books in the front pouch, a bag over her shoulder, and a mini guitar amp in her left hand - RUNNING for a bus.

 

Miraan and I laughed - she stopped and put two fingers up at us.

She knew how silly she looked though, bless her - she can't really blame us for having a little giggle about it.

 

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There's a building site around the corner from my house.

They're knocking down old, deralict housing.

 

It was raining and windy as I walked past the cranes and demolition lorries.

I was trying to hold my breath - I have asthma, so it's difficult to breathe when I walk down that road.

They're always burning something in an oil drum, or there's brick dust flying about - there's always something. It's been that way every morning and every afternoon since Monday.

 

So, there was a crane lifting a huge load of rubble into the back of one of the lorries.

As I became paralell with it - the wind blew directly in my direction - JUST as the crane released its load.

 

So I was instantly bombarded with a cloud of brick dust - which covered me entirely, coating my face, sticking in my hair, clinging to my clothes.

I coughed, as I'd inhaled some - and a lot of it had blown past my glasses and gone into my eyes.

 

So I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe - I was being pelted with dust, rain, wind, grit - everything.

 

As I turned the corner, out of harm's way - I tried to wipe away some of the dust from my eyes.

I got inside - drenched from the rain - clods of dirt and grit all lodged within my hair.

My uniform is also black - black jumper, black trousers, black Doctor Martens. - Everything was covered in brown dirt and red brick dust.

 

I sat down on our white cream sofa and grimaced as I wiped my face.

All the dust seemed to have glued itself to my wet skin - entwined in my eyebrows, collecting in the creases of my face - like beside my nose - and there were even grains of it stuck inside my ears.

 

We're looking after my mam's friend's dog - Gina - whilst they're in India.

Gina barked at me, waving her tail in my dirty face - wanting to be taken out.

I growled and snapped at her - telling her to go away, it was too cold, it was raining.

 

She wouldn't leave me alone, so I put her lead on and let her out the back alley gate onto the field behind our house.

She took her whizz and then spent the next five minutes sniffing the fenceposts.

 

Her legs were shaking when I took her back inside.

I think she might be afraid of all the demolition noise outside.

 

 

I was tired after that, and I was asleep on the sofa - next to my mam - when she came home, that is.

I came up here at about half six, and fell asleep on my bed.

I woke up at about ten. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.

 

Not for a while, anyway.

I need to clean up my room.

A shower would be a good idea too, to get rid of the rest of this brick dust.

 

I heated up a can of meatballs in gravy after I'd brought Gina back in.

I ate them between two white bread baps.

Sort of like meatball sloppy joes.

 

You only get fourteen in a can. I'm still hungry.

I really want to eat one of those frozen pizzas, but is it too late?

 

Oh, the dilemmas of life.

ehm, yeah hi. i'm lost, i really am. i don't know who i am anymore. i am no one really, i am dirt. i just hate my life. what a waste of time to put me in to this world. i just hate being alone, and i hate that no one ever cares.