Differences @ MindSay

• Obviously my parents played a critical role both biologically and in the way they nurtured me.  Nature + Nurture! 

• One nerdy & humble man of God (first name, Jim) back in my sophomore year in high school, demonstrated that Jesus was bigger than church, bigger than Sunday morning, and alive & able to change lives still. He also let me feel around and find my own way to love Jesus.

• After college, I enlisted in the Army, and was shipped off to a few different places. I landed in Fairbanks, Alaska, certain I'd been set to the absolute end of the world. I was not too happy with God or my life at that point. Still ... God watched out for me, set me in a family there ... a family that loved Him. They became more than just friends ... they became mentors on many levels. (Another Jim & Barb - and 3 kids: Jerry, Lori, & Beth) They all taught me tons of stuff ... TONS! They showed me Family. Discipline. Communication. They became a life sized object lesson that heavily influenced my early notions of family.

• Then ... my Ex ... not a Jim! lol Sadly, he taught me a lot, too, but not usually good fun stuff. I found my marriage certainly didn't fit the mold ... or my dream. Still, I fought for it for nearly 20 years before I walked away, fearful that I would fall into the "mold" of the typical divorced woman. Another image I fought!

• My 3 kids entered this world loved. I've learned bunches from each of them, too, trying to discern their gifts and talents and steer them in their own individual path! I imagine I will continue to learn from them ... I tried to fit into the image I had of a perfect "mom," but ... I just didn't fit it! Then, for a time, I felt like a failure because I couldn't fit it ... sheesh!  So good to know that first, there is no such thing as a perfect mom or dad, and, secondly, since it doesn't exist, I don't have to fit it!  lol

• A company of delightful, fun, and amazing friends ... Someone told me one day when I wasn't thinking very well of myself, that if I line all my friends and family up in my imagination side by side, I will see a reflection of myself in them. Pretty good advice! This notion helped to re-adjust my thinking on a number of occasions.  Check it out!

I admit, however, that I'm the kind of person who is just arrogant enough to want to break through the expectations put on me by others.  I remember in 5th grade one day at recess ... (amazing what we remember, hmmm?) Anyway, it had snowed recently, and there was a large pile of snow beside the ball field. The other kids were playing kickball, but this one day, I didn't feel like playing kickball.  I felt like being by myself.  I wandered toward the pile and packed a snow ball, then pensively began to "carve" it with my mittened thumb. My teacher, Mrs. Hornbeck, slowly walked over and asked if I was OK. She interrupted my solitude and it irritated me.  I wanted to be alone. She was concerned for my well-being. Now, if it had been this way everyday, there might be cause for concern, but it wasn't everyday ... just once in a while. She coerced me into joining the kickball game. Fun ... but it wasn't what I wanted to do on that day. Point is ... she misjudged what I was doing and what I needed at the time by putting her expectations on me. 

How often do we "coerce" others into some image we have for them?

OK ... I digress ... There was a time when my parents were my identity. Then, my college was my chosen identity and I wore it like a badge of honor.  I joined the Army, rebelliously breaking from the path my parents and others may have set for me.  I was offered a commission, but declined it.  I wanted to be respected for my personal performance, not because of the insignia on my collar, so I didn't really fit the military images either.

Politics ... religion ... socio-economic ... education ... So many criteria we use to judge and categorize people.  Just like you, I am an individual with personal likes and dislikes, strong opinions, convictions, and beliefs. I've ALIVE ... imperfect ... flawed ... changing ... growing ... challenging ... seeking ... and I care for people ... for individuals. Just when you think you have me figured out ... BOOM!  I'll do or say something that doesn't seem to line up. Have I suddenly changed, or am I still me being me? What's my identity!

I tend to become defensive when I, or someone I care about, is "coerced" into something they may not want or believe.  With all the political JUNK going on these days, there is a lot of prejudice.  A few days ago, I wrote a piece about my stand about Iraq.  You may disagree with me, but it is inaccurate to toss me into the pile of "ignorant, uninformed, unthinking Americans" (or other such labels) just because my viewpoint differs from yours.  The same applies to personal, spiritual beliefs.  I happen to believe that Jesus is God incarnate, now residing, by means of the Holy Spirit, within humans who admit their need for Him ... but that doesn't mean I embrace every theological, behavioral, or hypocritical doctrine that you may ascribe to "Christians." 

Bottom line? None of us belong in a box. I try not to put my expectations on others or afix premature labels on others for my convenience. Please try to return the favor. This is ME ... feeling my way through this life, mistakes and all! OK? Thanks for your indulgence!  ;)

~ B

In my rush to express my enthusiasm for my new position, I touched on a random issue that I should perhaps explain further.  :)

I brought up a distinction between men and women in the workplace, but didn't really explain my meaning well.  My apologies!  What I meant to say was from my observation, there is a marked difference between the way men relate on the job and the way women relate on the job.  I have had the fortune of a multitude of work experiences from the military (which was mostly male, but at the time I was in was still segregated for billeting & training), to teaching, to real estate, to convenience store/ customer service to childcare.  I have worked for men and for women and been part of all female teams on numerous occasions.  Again, I say, men and women are NOT the same ... NOT equal and this is a wonderful thing!  It does NOT mean one is BETTER than the other, but simply that we are different. 

Men, it seems to me, in general, are much better equipped to transition between work relationships and personal relationships.  This means that when they are put into a position for which they are ill-suited, they are less likely than women to take it personally and/or try to make it work.  Men seem to be much more able to leave work at work and much less likely to micro-manage those under their supervision.  At least, that is my experience.  Sorry, ladies, but I think men are generally easier to get along with in a group setting, although one-on-one, it is the other way around.  hahaha  Must be that communication thing, hmmm?  All of us seem to change, too, when we put on a "title" or "office", if you know what I mean.  I'm sure I'm over-simplifying a complex issue here concerning the way men and women relate, but ... I generally get along with everyone. 

My employment pet peeve list, however, is topped with a need for mutual respect.  If management has hired a "qualified" individual, does that new employee not deserve some measure of respect?  If there is not some degree of mutual respect that flows from management to the lowest rung, then the organism is not healthy and production / service will suffer.  This is what is happening in the facility I am leaving.  The DIRECTOR has not yet learned how to value those with whom she works, but instead almost plots for their failure.  This makes for a very uncomfortable place to work and, in my opinion, an unhealthy place to try to teach children.  It is sad, and of course, as always, it is the children who suffer.

Your thoughts???

~ B

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On a lighter note ...

You Are a Question Mark

You seek knowledge and insight in every form possible. You love learning. And while you know a lot, you don't act like a know it all. You're open to learning you're wrong. You ask a lot of questions, collect a lot of data, and always dig deep to find out more. You're naturally curious and inquisitive. You jump to ask a question when the opportunity arises. Your friends see you as interesting, insightful, and thought provoking. (But they're not always up for the intense inquisitions that you love!) You excel in: Higher education You get along best with: The Comma

I must be feeling better ... I have "rants" burning in my belly! 

• As I signed in today, I noticed the question concerning Sen. McCain's use of a familiar (once popular) racial slur.  Interestingly, what upset me wasn't his use of the term ... in reference to those who held him and his comrades captive in N. Viet Nam!  What upset me was that the question was even raised in the tone used ... to incite an onslaught of tongue lashings from ill-informed bloggers.  Good grief!  Is the man not permitted some remnant of humanity even though he seeks election to the highest office in the land?  To my knowledge, it is not something that is common to his everyday language and does not  refer to ALL Asians for ALL time.  We're willing to overlook Uncle Bill's oral activities but make an issue of this???  Oh please!

• Then ... dear sandyquill got me thinking about "inclusion" in Public schools.  Should ALL students be pushed through the same program?  I know when I was growing up ... in the dark ages, for sure, those with hearing impairment went to a different school (some still do!) and those with other physical challenges went to schools that specialized in treatment and development of children with these limitations.  There are not many of these "special" schools left.  Instead, as many as possible regardless of their ability levels are "herded" (word carefully chosen for my own reasons - later explained) through the curriculum.  (Hope you cannot see the steam emanating from my delicately exposed ears!) 

ALL children are NOT alike.  ALL children (or people) are NOT created equal!  (With equal RIGHTS, yes ... but we are not all equal!)  Some of us are great with words, some in speaking others in writing.  Some of us have "Idol" voices while others need the proverbial bucket to carry their tunes.  Some are driven to understand how things work and study the smallest things ... a door scraping across a carpet,  the way a single blue beta swims in his dish,  the difference between a spiny crab and a well worn snail shell.  Some of us see colors vibrant and true in constant motion while others see snapshots in black & white.  Some of us learn by watching those who know.  Some of us need to DO to learn ... to use our hands, our feet, our senses, even our whole body to absorb information.  When ... oh when did our esteemed educators determine that all children learned the same way?   

They did not, of course!  Yet ... public schools persist in their endeavors to purposefully herd every child through the same curriculum, without respect for the child's individuality or personal learning style.  And we let them!  When will educators once again admit ... with the support of administrations & budgets ... that each child is an individual and for a child to honestly learn, s/he must be given some room to explore, to follow their own star.  Curricula are intended as guidelines, not edicts or oracles of the gods.  One of the down sides of pigeon-holed learning is those who refuse to conform are tossed aside or socially shunned. 

Consider one 17-year-old boy who twice failed grade 10. This student's IQ score, at barely 100, allowed him to squeak into the public school's regular program, but his school's testing practice prevented the boy from rising past the bottom scores in his class. For a while, in spite of his difficulties to pass most tests, the student desperately tried to succeed at school. Life on a farm taught him the value of hard consistent work, and the boy's easy-going nature splashed color on classroom activities. His infectious laughter made him a sought-after friend to both peers and staff. The shop teacher told how he frequently hung around to help out after class, and how, when volunteers were requested, he was first to respond.  

Although the boy mastered few skills championed in traditional Western curricula, he clearly possessed his own unique array of talents. While he showed higher than average inter-communication ability, however, he withdrew and often grew noticeably quiet when tests were handed back...  

"One principal suggested that the boy came to school with the 'wrong abilities.' Other educators, like his science and music teachers, suggested that the school issued this student the 'wrong tests.' … Unfortunately, however, the boy failed grade 10. Already stung by two previous failures and rather than repeat again, eventually he simply dropped out of the high-school system."  

How have children like this been shoved aside over the years?  How has the public school system served their needs? Perhaps they were given some illustrious label like ... DYSLEXIC ... AUTISTIC ... AHAD ... or when in doubt ... VIRAL!

Yes ... there are those who legitimately suffer from these conditions, yet over the years they seem to be broadening in scope and diminishing in substance, if you understand what I mean.  In other words, these terms are becoming blanket conditions to cover many of those who simply don't fit in! Or do it differently!   

So I ask again ... why do we allow our schools to teach each child with identical methods, sometimes resorting to curriculum scripts, to keep things as sterile as possible!  uuuuuuggggggghhhh!  They're WHOSE children???   

Maybe tomorrow, I'll get to explain some of where this originated!  :) 

 

~ B

I find myself  really innovative because of some factors and versatility is one.

Just like what the title of this tries convey, life simply innovates everyone who wishes to feel and see some differences in their nature.