Die @ MindSay 
death
ok well im pretty bored so im just writing here and yes im going to publish this on my blog.... well i guess your reading this and your probably bored too.... dont leave!! ill come up with something exciting to say....... hmmmmm....... ummmmmm..... dont leave.... lets see.... OH I KNOW!!! im going to tell a story! hows does that sound??? well i dont care if you dont want to hear it! your going to listen to me untill im done!!! here it is.... i was gonna tell a real story but i cant think of any so im going to make one up..
once opon a time there was a girl who decided to go to the park. her mom said no she cant go because bad men will want to melest her, so the girl killed her mom. The girls name was Crystal. Crystal decided to hide her moms body after she went to the park. When Crystal went to the park she brought her friend Pedro just incase someone wanted to melest her. they went to the park and while they were there the got lost and separated from eachother. Then Pedro got bit by a rattle snake. (the park was in a desert in Africa.) When Crystal found Pedro he was dead. She didnt cry instead she decided to have some fun with the body. Crystal decided to carry the body and put it on top of a giant tree, (yes there was a tree in the desert.) then she dropped it off to see if it would bounce. it did! it bounced so high it came back up to the top of the tree and knocked Crystal off then she fell and died, but she didnt bounce. After all this happened Crystals arm got ripped off and flew all the way to Japan. It hit the prime minister of Japan and he thought it was a threat from the U.S. The prime minister decided to launch a few nukes at the U.S. in response. The nukes killed everyone and then the whole Earth got into a nuclear war and everyone died. Then the world blew up. Then the universe imploded from all the energy! =].... =[....??
THE END.
i know you liked it.
Dixie currently feels:
Depressed
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Right, let's be chronological.
The last time I blogged, it was a day or two before I went down to Southend.
And I was worried about going because of the cuts on my arms.
So when I was there - first day, I wore my green striped hoody, second day I had an arm-warmer on, and the third day, I wore the hoody again. And I slept in long sleeved pyjamas.
That aside - I only had one battery for the mp3 player I borrowed from my mam, and it lasted up until the morning of the last day. Not bad.
I shared a room with nana, and we got free sachets of coffee, tea and hot chocolate with a kettle and stuff - so I had hot chocolate each night before bed.
I took the extra one home with me, and I drank that a few days ago, because it was really nice.
Nana brought ham sarnies and chicken drumsticks and Jaffa Cake bars for on the journey down - and we stopped at a Little Chef to eat on the way back.
And it was there that I had my most expensive crisps ever.
They were 99p - and I've had better ones for 10p.
When we were in Southend, we went to see the family down there.
My great Aunty Betty and Uncle Roy, we went to see for about five hours on Saturday, and for another three on Sunday morning.
As they do every single time, they made us ham sandwiches on Saturday, and cheese on toast on Sunday morning.
They're both really nice - never stop talking, never run out of things to say.
But I do feel sorry for them, they're both in their early 80s. Betty doesn't get out much because she has dodgy hips and knees.
She likes me though.
I like her too.
She seems to have high aspirations for me... I can't understand why.
Then we went to see Alice and Charlie - who are in their mid-80s.
They scare me, they scare me a lot.
Then there was Robert, my mother's cousin - who I hate with a passion.
I sat there in silence for the entrie time.
Of course, mother said I was ignorant, but she can piss off at the moment, which I'll explain why further down...
...So, the week at school.
This week.
Hmm.
The only good things are that I've got myself a B for my Science coursework, and today I managed to round off all of my IT coursework.
Parry has signed me up for counselling - and despite how much I protested, I was forced.
I was downright fucking forced.
I do not like the idea one bit - I know I'm being unfair, as everyone says, I'm not taking their advice, I'm throwing it back at them, whatever.
I know I'm being unreasonable, I'm well aware of that.
But the worst - oh, I was betrayed.
When I first started talking to her in year 10, I was told my parents would never need to be told about my self harm issue.
Yes.
So mother was called in on Thursday afternoon, and told everything.
Somehow, I don't think that's quite keeping it fucking quiet.
So my mam told me what she thinks of me.
She hates me - she says my only good quality is my intelligence, and that she'd rather have a thick kid who was nice.
Apparently I'm the most horrible person in the world, I'm ignorant, anti-social, lazy and ungrateful.
Yep, that's me.
And today I've had two of my friends leave me, because they're cunts.
Though, Emily loves me, she's always there for me.
Adam loves me, he's not going to leave me after 10 years.
My new friend Reiss loves me, he's there to listen.
Sammie loves me, she said she'll never let me go.
And my daddy loves me.
He's being so nice to me.
He bought me a squishy puffer-fish toy and made me pancakes for breakfast.
He keeps tickling me and babying me.
I poured my heart out to him yesterday, told him about my self harm and how I want to end life.
He said even if it doesn't help, I'm always welcome to talk to him.
I love my daddy, and my daddy loves me.
Someone ripped my heart out!
It hurts badly... pain in the arse!
Everything is wrong, every single damn thing.
It shouldn't be like this...but,
Damn!
At one moment, I held the knife on my right hand.
I was this close, this close to cut myself.
Thinking in ending my life as soon as possible
To escape from every little shitty things.
I want to peek at my own grave.
Better I want to dig for my own grave.
Silence...
My space, my only dark space. I never have to share with anyone, anymore.
With two eyes shut,
I can only hear the sound of darkness, loneliness and peace.
I will never go through shitty things ever again!
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